On the first day of February, Yun Chu finally stepped into the Tai Chi Hall, the center of the political center of the Tang Dynasty, under the envious eyes of his fellow prisoners who had been blown away by the cold wind in the past.
A young eunuch led Yunchu to a corner on the right side of the hall with this three-foot-square blanket. After putting down the mat, he motioned for Yunchu to take off his shoes, and then took away Yunchu's shoes.
At this time, the smell in the hall was already very bad.
They were obviously the most noble people in the Tang Dynasty, but there was still a horrible smell of feet lingering in the hall.
If it was just the smell of foot odor, Yunchu felt that he could tolerate it. After all, he had spent half a month in the Western Regions with a large group of dead people.
However, not only did the smell of feet smell, there were also people farting one after another, especially the group of military commanders on the left. They seemed to be farting in a competition, and they were laughing loudly.
...This is the most serious and noble place in the Tang Dynasty?
A guy who seemed to be a fifth-level military general raised his buttocks and let out a long, loud, and extremely smelly fart towards Yunchu. He proudly said to the civil servants who were covering their noses at Yunchu:
"If you're not convinced, you can come and beat me. If you can't beat me, just let me endure it. A group of sour men are worthy of discussing the future of honor and disgrace."
It was the first time that Yun Chu saw such a mean person in the world. He picked up the ivory wat board that was half a foot longer than other people's wat boards. With his legs strong, he jumped over and lifted the heavy wat board.
, spanked the protruding Lao Gao hard on the buttocks.
"Pa—" a loud noise suddenly spread throughout the Tai Chi Hall.
"Ouch--" followed by an extremely shrill scream resounded through the Tai Chi Hall once again.
When Yun Chu looked at the broken ivory wat board in his hand and felt a little regretful, a civil servant next to him who was also wearing a red robe silently took out his elm wat board from his sleeve and handed it to Yun Chu.
Yun Chu politely thanked him, and while the guy was still in severe pain and had no chance to react, he put one foot on his back, picked up the heavy elm wat board, and followed this
The guy's buttocks and back were spanked hard, and it took him thirty slaps before he stopped.
The general then screamed like a slaughtering pig, causing everyone in the court to look in this direction. The leaders, Li Ji and Changsun Wuji, both stood up abruptly, looking very angry.
Yun Chu's hand is very heavy, especially because his concept of hitting people is different from others. Either he doesn't strike, but once he strikes, he will do his best without giving the other party any room to fight back.
The reason why I took action was entirely because "fart fighting" has been popular in the court recently!
As soon as the civil servant opened his mouth, the general's fart sound could not be heard, making the whole court stink.
This method of fighting can be traced back to the early years of Emperor Taizong. The instigator was Yuchi Jingde, who was lying at home not knowing whether he was alive or dead.
Emperor Taizong asked him angrily why he was so rude, and Yuchi Jingde said that most of the military generals were from reckless backgrounds, and when they argued with civil officials in the court, they were stupid and couldn't defeat them, so they had to resort to the art of war.
In other words, if the mouth can't compare, use the lower mouth to supplement it.
However, the most bizarre thing is that Emperor Taizong did not refute Yuchi Jingde, so this fighting method was passed down, from the earliest one or two people using this method to the current collective air pollution. (History
Historical facts, not fabrications)
Yunchu could imagine that when Yuchi Jingde farted against the civil servants, it must have been that the civil servants' speech was extremely inconsistent with Emperor Taizong's mood, so he turned a blind eye to Yuchi Jingde's fart war.
It's just that Emperor Taizong didn't expect that this bad habit would spread to Li Zhi. Emperor Taizong didn't prohibit it, so Li Zhi naturally wouldn't prohibit it either.
Yun Chu struck hard. Seeing the fifth-grade general's ass being opened, the group of military generals immediately exploded, pointing at Yun Chu and yelling and cursing. There were many people gearing up to fight Yun Chu.
field.
Yun Chu held up the wat board and said: "If you want to scold, we will continue after the court. If you want to fight, we will go to the military field and have a fight. If anyone dares to fart towards me with their buttocks, let's go down."
Nothing is so cheap once, I will stick the barrel of a gun in it and you will never be able to fart for the rest of your life."
The generals had already witnessed Yun Chu's bravery when they ordered the generals. It was not that there were no people in the army who could defeat Yun Chu, but they were definitely not someone who could deal with them, who had long since regenerated their flesh.
In addition, a few days ago, Li Yifu, who was blessed by the Holy Family, had just finished his oath to prevent Yun Chu from entering the Tai Chi Hall again in this life. As a result, just a few days later, Yun Chu had already entered the Tai Chi Hall.
He was so arrogant that he beat a fifth-grade military attache to death.
From the screams of the military attache just now, you can know that this guy didn't show any mercy.
The imperial censor came over to take a look at the military attache's injuries. After confirming that it was a flesh wound, he asked: "Zhang Du, can you still go to court?"
General Zhang Du, the leader of the left army who was beaten by Yun Chu, said weakly: "Please allow me to ask for leave."
The censor in the hall waved to him, and two inner guards came and carefully helped Zhang Du out of the hall.
Seeing Zhang Du being dragged away, the censor in the palace said again: "Please abide by the etiquette before the emperor and don't do it again."
After saying that, he went back to his seat without asking anything about Yun Chu. Li Ji, who was standing at the front, managed to say out loud for some reason: "Magistrate Yun might as well come here to show off his power."
Changsun Wuji was standing nearby and said with a smile: "I have absorbed all the loud farts made by Ying Gong, and they will not be affected by the Huangkou children."
When Li Ji saw that the head of the civil service, Sun Wuji, had spoken, he snorted angrily and sat back down.
The middle-aged official who lent Yunchu the Wat Tablet took back the Wat Tablet that Yunchu had given him and whispered: "It's better to hear more about the loud farts of Mr. Ying."
Yun Chu raised his hands to the other party and said, "I am Yun Chu, the county magistrate of Wannian County. I don't know your brother's surname."
The middle-aged civil servant returned the courtesy and said: "Don't dare, stupid brother Li Jingxuan, now I am earning a little salary to support my family in my position as a scholar in the middle school."
In Yunchu's memory, this person was once as famous as Pei Xingjian. He also heard that this person had the ability to remember things with photographic memory. Now, facing such a person, Yunchu was prepared to carry out his cautious words and deeds to the end.
After all, no one likes to have a tape recorder next to them when they are talking to others, lest one day they accidentally say a joke or two, only to be told the truth in another situation, leaving them unable to defend themselves.
As the eunuch reminded the ministers with a long voice that the emperor had arrived, everyone stood up one after another and saluted the emperor's seat with a tablet in hand.
The etiquette was very simple. The emperor said something to all the ministers, and everyone returned to their own blankets, knelt there and began to attend court attentively.
Usually at this time, the matters discussed in the court have nothing to do with a lowly official like Yun Chu.
The Tai Chi Hall is astonishingly large. It is a full eighty meters away from the emperor's seat to Yun Chu. In addition, there are twelve coiled dragon bronze pillars in the hall, and the pillars are filled with charcoal fire. This makes the Tai Chi Hall even though it is
It's big, but it's as warm as spring inside.
For some reason, Yun Chu started to feel sleepy after entering the hall. He knew that this was actually due to the large number of people in the hall and the slight lack of oxygen caused by the twelve furnaces.
So, he steeled himself, took out a copper pot from his pocket, and poured himself a cup of tea. When he saw Li Jingxuan looking at him in surprise, he also gave Li Jingxuan a cup.
Although the Yun family's tea was bitter, it was fragrant. The two of them used their large official robes as cover to enjoy the tea slowly.
"The Tubo people have been contacting the Nanzhao tribes in Bozhou for six consecutive years. Generally speaking, it started in the year of Taizong Bintian. However, Tubo had very little to give to the Nanzhao tribes, so the Nanzhao tribes
The Ministry has always only taken advantage of it and has not followed the footsteps of Tubo.
However, this has changed since last year. As the bandits of the Tang Dynasty robbed Lu Dongzan's daughter in the Riyue Mountain area, Qiu Xinggong, Qiu Shenji and his son murdered the Tibetan envoys, and killed Lu Dongzan on the Xianyang Bridge.
After being the eldest son of Dongzan, Lu Dongzan began to win over the Nanzhao tribes at all costs.
At present, if the Tang Dynasty continues to adopt a high-pressure stance against the Nanzhao tribes, those stupid Nanzhao barbarians may turn to Tubo."
After hearing Li Jingxuan's opinions, Yunchu listened for a while to the Bozhou matter being discussed, and then whispered: "Brother Li has such insight, why don't you just go to the doctor?"
Li Jingxuan shook his head and said: "The memorial from Zhongshu Sheren will not attract His Majesty's attention. It must be memorialized in the name of Zhongshu Sheng.
You have also heard that the opinions of the people in Zhongshu Province are inclined to put pressure on Nanzhao, and they have different opinions, just like insects in summer talking about ice, wind, horse and cow are irrelevant."
Yunchu picked up the tea cup and said, "Here you are, let me have a drink."
Seeing what Yun Chu said was funny, Li Jingxuan smiled, raised his glass, touched it with Yun Chu, and drank it all in one gulp.
Soon, the Nanzhao matter has been discussed, and today is the scene where last year's new scholars will meet the emperor.
The names of the new scholars were ordinary. It was not until Yunchu suddenly heard the word "Zhong Kui" that he suddenly became energetic.
Li Jingxuan said in surprise: "Is this Zhong Kui an old acquaintance of yours?"
Yun Chu looked at Li Jingxuan's good-looking face and said, "I heard that this person is very ugly. I didn't expect that this person could also be a Jinshi."
Li Jingxuan said in surprise: "Does the county magistrate also judge people by their appearance?"
Yun Chu said in surprise: "Look at all the princes in the court, none of them are dignified in appearance. How can they tolerate an ugly person in this elegant hall?"
Li Jingxuan shook his head and said: "If you judge people by their appearance, how can the imperial court recruit scholars if you lose your son?"
While he was talking, he saw a strong man eight feet tall, with a face like the bottom of a pot, a leopard head and eyes, and a beard all over his face, walking in from outside the main hall. Even though this man was obviously shrinking his pace, he still looked like a dragon and a tiger.
Yes, different from ordinary people.
Li Jingxuan frowned and said, "This is too ugly."
At this time, Yun Chu looked at this extremely ugly man with a smile and said, "I actually like this person. If Your Majesty does not take this person for a while, I am willing to take this person under the rule of my Wannian County."
"Hey, didn't you just say that ugly people should not be officials?"
Yun Chu smiled and said: "There are too many demons and monsters in Chang'an City, and they need someone like this to suppress them."
There is one more chapter, you read it first, I will continue
This chapter has been completed!