Chapter 1,362 Crouching Dragon and Phoenix Chick(1/2)
To say that Wu Yisong is really a fucking jackal. When a colorful, soft and cute mini steam train drove over with its whistle blowing, Lao Wang just followed.
As if he had seen a ghost: "I weigh three to five hundred fucking kilograms and am about two meters tall, so why would you let me sit on this? Do you think this thing, including the wheel, is over one meter tall?"
The steam train is nice, but the paint on this thing is really outrageous. The various magical little cartoon characters and the mainly pink color scheme on it are all in a style that even a 6-year-old girl would have found childish.
I can’t imagine how abstract it would be for a group of ready-made men with armed gangster suit and thug temperament to sit on this thing. This is simply a naked buttock grinding and spinning in circles, which is both embarrassing and embarrassing!
"One meter six..." Wu Yisong's eyes were ashamed and his face was resigned: "Jiaojiao and Qiangqiang like..."
"What the hell... what the hell..." Lao Wang cursed: "What kind of evil have I done to be a classmate with someone like you? Yes, you are the biggest today, and you always hold back the whole scene.
Come on, let’s go, comrades, get in the car! We’ll take care of him later! When this beast’s wedding is over and he’s mated, we’ll settle the accounts with him!”
After the ammunition was loaded, the underage train Kojikuji carried a weight that it should not bear at its age and spewed out a spectacular steam column more than ten meters high and drove to the ferry island.
However, the workmanship of this thing is quite exquisite. Even the wheels look almost the same as a real train except that there are no rails.
Lao Wang nestled in a narrow position behind Wu Yisong, looking at the base master floating in the sky getting closer and closer, with a touch of shyness on his face that was not in line with his character, and his murmurs gradually became more sustainable: "At least this thing is still half
It's open-top, otherwise the feeling of going out in a can will be even stronger. To be honest, my shoes are bigger than it. Tell me the damn truth, the inspiration for this thing is really not the subway in the morning rush hour?
"
The ferry docked quickly at the island, and with a big red flower on his head tied with a ribbon tied with the word "Hi" on his head, the small train Kotsukoji left the port and took to the streets, attracting countless passers-by's glances and vehicles honking their horns.
Wu Yisong is neither happy nor sad. The sanctity and solemnity of marriage are intertwined, and he wants to shine.
However, it turns out that a person cannot hold back when he cannot hold back. Soon Wu Yisong heard the children on the side of the road asking doubtfully: "Mom, mom, why are these uncles robbing our children's toys? It's because they are too poor."
So you can’t afford adult products?”
A child's voice is as loud as a billion points.
Compared to a little girl who is four or five years old, this should be a sentence with an explosion of information.
Not only did Wu Yisong lose his guard, but the little girl's mother immediately blushed: "Go, stop talking nonsense, what do children know? Come home with your mother!"
Lao Wang immediately returned to his state and was full of enthusiasm: "Don't go, madam, children are childish, but as an adult, you have to talk about adult products. You don't want this to spread to your husband and
In the ears of more people besides me, right?”
My wife ran even more happily.
Lao Wang's intimidating power is invincible to married women. In this base, there are many people who can't recognize Mr. Li Cangcang in person, but if you say there are wives who don't recognize Lao Wang, it's just nonsense. There are hundreds of people on the bus.
The innocent guy laughed wildly for a while: "Good boy, this lady's legs and feet are so nimble, and she's even holding a child. Even a small train can't catch up with her!"
"The notorious Big Pharaoh has scared everyone's wife to pieces!"
"Brother Song is right, purple is indeed the most attractive..."
"But she is wearing white clothes!"
"Her shoulder straps were exposed..."
"What kind of beast are you riding on a horse? I am ashamed to be in the company of you!"
The train was very slow, and it took more than forty minutes to arrive at the downstairs of Jiaojiao's house. It was blowing out a plume of air and honking its dirty whistle. Amidst the cheers of the crowd who had been waiting for a long time and the sound of fireworks and gun salutes, Lao Wang
He took the loudspeaker from Wu Yisong's hand and said: "People inside, listen! Put down the props in your hands! Don't resist pointlessly! The more you resist, the more excited we become! Today we will rob every mother except the mother-in-law!"
If we bring a company of gangsters to snatch the bride, how should you, the bridesmaids, respond?
The answer is that my sister responded!
The whole self-built small building was quiet, and even the lights were not turned on, which gave Lao Wang an ominous premonition: "Mom, it's just a wedding, your big kid won't hide somewhere to put a sack on us."
Knock on the sap?"
Li Cang frowned and retreated behind everyone: "How about I ask a few bastards to go in and clear mines?"
"God is really clearing mines!"
There is no need to rely on Teacher Cang for this kind of thing. It took a lot of effort for a group of people to escort him to the car and come to welcome the bride.
The groom and his friends were already stunned. Looking at this courtyard that had been decorated with lights and colorful decorations for three years, they all felt extremely strange. It seemed that there was some kind of heart-devouring monster hidden in the dark door behind the lawn.
"Old...Old Wang..." Wu Yisong swallowed a big mouthful of saliva, looking very stupid, "What...what should I do..."
"You're a worthless little piece of trash! You're so fucking cool! Please give me some fucking energy and get in the mood! It's you who got married, not me who cut off my beard!" Lao Wang waved his hand, "Comrades, don't count on this guy for the time being.
If you can’t get on, just do what you said in advance. We’ll take care of the wedding. This is the end of the exhausting work. The mistresses, mistresses, mistresses, mistresses, mistresses, mistresses, mistresses, and mistresses are none of our business. Get in line and come to me.
!”
Wu Yisong, who is in the duality of having no sense of existence and having an overwhelming sense of existence: "It's impossible, I don't have it, don't talk nonsense..."
The cameraman who is in a single state: "Okay! The effect is very good! Keep it up!"
Lao Wang stood in front of his head with a loudspeaker in his left hand and a bouquet of roses in his right hand. Every time a groomsman passed by, he would shake his hair and take a rose from his hand. The wind rustled and the water reversed, and the strong man walked away like a bandit.
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The door just opened in front of Wu Yisong. Behind the door were several companies of doormen and flower girls. They were all three or five years old, boys in tuxedos and girls in princess dresses. There were no adults visible at all, and the huge living room was crowded.
There's not even a place to put your feet.
The cheers of welcome and congratulations were overwhelming and completely swallowed up Wu Yisong and his sanity. Without any suspense, the 6,000 big red envelopes prepared by Wu Yisong shrank by 50% in an instant.
How to refuse this?
Who has the heart to say no?
You can't refuse it at all!
Even a big live animal like Lao Wang was "robbed" with his hands above his head and "thrown down" to the ground, for fear of accidentally bumping into this group of festive, lively and extremely ferocious little ancestors.
After receiving the red envelopes, the children rushed out of the gate like locusts crossing the border.
Wu Yisong even turned out the red belt wrapped around his waist by his mother, and was about to cry without tears: "Do you think they want to regret their marriage?"
"Holding grass, is this a job that people can think of?" Lao Wang pointed to the Q-version hand and foot stickers on the floor and the wine barrels placed in two rows along the road: "We are not asked to go up here.
Bar?"
Seeing these wine barrels, all the brothers' faces turned green. They drank all day and all night yesterday. Even a funnel can't drink like this, right?
"Correct answer~" Comrade Pei Qian, the late emcee, led another team of photographers and a number of bridesmaids with faint outlines of formal waistcoats standing on the stairs to smile neatly, "It's not easy to pick up the bride.
It is an easy task. It is necessary to pass the level. You have to follow the rules. So, this level is very hectic. When you come through, there must be no wine left. If one person passes the level, it will be regarded as everyone passing the level. If you go wrong or have you used the sticker?
, punish you for guessing!”
There are so many wine barrels, do you treat us as balloons and still pass the level alone?
With a strong enemy in front and pursuers behind, the bridesmaids and the fun-loving people behind them continued to make noises, and tried to increase the psychological pressure of the groomsmen by sandwiching cheese between two breads.
Lao Wang blinked and expressed affection with his eyebrows: "President Pei, if you are more tolerant, we might have the possibility of renewing our bad relationship. Why don't you give us a line off the wine barrel?"
Pei Qian blushed: "No! Good things come in pairs! My professional ethics do not allow me to do this!"
"Whatever Jiaojiao gives, Boss Wu will pay double!"
The bridesmaids started chattering with a strong sense of moral integrity. Pei Qian looked at her watch: "The limited time for this level is 15 minutes. You still have 14 minutes and 25 seconds. It's a big mistake to delay the auspicious time!"
"Brothers, rush me!"
A group of groomsmen looked at each other for a long time, then lined up and danced according to the handprints and footprints on the ground——
"Is this thing really a move that humans can do?"
"It's so scary. My waist, my back, my arms, I'm rubbing them, who's going to touch my ass!"
"Ahhhh it hurts..."
“Damn it, I would have known better by ordering a yoga in advance!”
"The first one, the sixth one, and the seventh one are all eliminated! Although this game does not limit the number of people, those who are eliminated are not allowed to participate in all subsequent games! You have to consider how many people are sent out to get the most bang for your buck.
!" The bridesmaids behind her were already laughing so hard, Pei Qian was still trying to be serious: "Also, don't question the professionalism of the game, these ladies behind me have gone through this line of stickers themselves!"
"Yes, yes, if you each give me a red envelope, I can consider giving you some tips~"
"Give!"
"Know the signs! This is right! Listen carefully, although there is only one line of these handprints and footprints, it is impossible to walk directly. It is impossible to step on them all. You have to advance and retreat!"
The first brother Qixingzhong, who had evolved to the point where he was facing up, kicked the golden chicken independently, and supported the arch bridge with one hand backwards, fell to the ground with a bang: "Sisters, when you think about this game, have you ever considered a problem? We are a group of straight men.
Ah, the body and brain circuits may be harder than steel bars!"
"Then we don't care, just say you can't do it!"
The second brother worked silently and had already started drinking the first barrel of wine. Lao Wang was still trying hard: "Sisters, tell me how many red envelopes it takes to buy you. Let us set an example!"
The young ladies were very unconvinced: "That's not possible, everyone came up with this game together, you have to get everyone's consent!"
An honest brother: "They are not here, how can we obtain consent?"
"We don't need this kind of stupidity!" Lao Wang kicked this guy out of the team with a flying kick, and his big face was full of flattery: "Tell me, sisters, how many people do you have?"
The young lady spread her fingers and blinked seriously: "Eight hundred!"
Even if you count the amount of meat, you can't fit eight hundred people into the room upstairs!
Lao Wang sent the backpack brother: "Here! Give it to them!"
After buying eight hundred red envelopes, the ladies immediately became active. The apples of their cheeks and waistcoat lines looked particularly plump: "Then you should watch carefully, we will only demonstrate once!"
Even with the demonstration, the living room was still filled with the crackling of bones and the miserable howls of male compatriots, and not only the movements, but also the wine. With the blessing of various strange movements, the former wine barrels are now
They have become commonplaces, turning into three-eyed fountains one by one to pour foam on the ground.
"Seize the bamboo shoots! How insidious! We gave you the red envelope without any hesitation, and you actually shook the wine in advance?"
"Goose, goose, goose, the soldiers and horses have not moved on the food and grass. Come on, little brothers, come on, come on, come on~"
There were corpses all over the front, and it was just a small game that was played in a hurry. It was said that only one-third of the entire company was left.
The groomsmen who had made selfless sacrifices and were eliminated not only had their bones trimmed and got pregnant, but also suffered personality insults. Behind them, Lao Wang and the groomsmen were arrogant: "A bunch of useless things, let's go.
To be continued...