Author: nest eating little orange

"Starting next month, I will move out."

"Try to live independently."

Not only that, I also expressed the latter idea.

“···”

"Why? Will you hate living with me? Do you mean, did I do something wrong? Now, tell me... I can change it!"

But she was sluggish at first, and then she became obviously anxious to a certain extent, and even held my hand and shed tears.

It's like I'm really scared that I've done something disgusting.

"How could such a thing be possible?!"

I turn up the volume.

"I'm sorry... I didn't mean to yell at you or get angry at you, really."

I held her hand as hard as I could, "I'm angry at myself. How much do I have to hurt you to be satisfied? How long do I have to go on like this before it's over?"

"This time...it really took a lot of effort for me to say this."

"I think if I stay by your side in my current state, it will be easy for me to rely on you when I encounter setbacks again."

“I never want to go back like that!”

"At least...I want to be a human being from the bottom of my heart now."

Yes.

I can't call him a man, I just want to try to be a man.

"But if Ah Yao just wants to be independent, I can also help... No, I can also supervise!"

"Then, the cost of living will also be reduced if two people live together."

"Suddenly, if you want to live independently, there will definitely be a lot of things you are not used to!"

"Weren't we always together until now? Suddenly... ah, is it because the house is too small? Then it's okay if we change to a bigger one!"

“···”

It looked like she was in some kind of chaos, which made the guilt deep in my heart surge even more.

Who is she?

She is the same age as me, but different from me, she is an outstanding woman who works regularly and can be independent.

Even if you don’t wear makeup, you will still see beautiful scenery wherever you go.

She was just imprisoned by the past, and she was tied to herself ten years later for too long.

If she can take this opportunity to leave herself and re-examine interpersonal relationships, without looking at her own face and thinking, 'Who is the man I have lived with for seven years?', she will definitely come to a conclusion quickly.

That is simply not worth mentioning and not worthy of her role.

Compared to the men around her, they are complete trash.

Anyway, I didn't continue talking this time.

I need money, and I won’t ask her for money again, which is quite ironic. In the past, I always followed her gentle gaze and relied on her, but now that gaze is hurting me every second.

Self-esteem.

Ahhh.

After many years, I actually picked up something like self-esteem from the garbage on the ground. It is really even more amazing.

I got paid again.

Due to some mistakes at work, as a newcomer, I still have many shortcomings, so I was deducted a part of my salary.

My money is not enough for me to live a good living environment.

"Starting from tomorrow, I will move out."

"This is a rental contract."

I told her about it after everything was settled.

"Definitely, do you want to move out?"

"must."

"Then I'll come over and see you every day."

"Is that still considered independent?"

“Breakfast and dinner…”

"It's not the way to go."

I saw her pouting lips and the way she hesitated to speak, so I said cruelly, "We can't see each other for a month."

In fact, my original plan was that not only would we not be able to meet each other for a month, but we would also prohibit phone calls and social interactions. In other words, I would completely disappear from her world for a month.

But I couldn't say it out loud.

The reason is not for her... I simply feel that I can't do it. If after the heavy work is over, I can't find anyone to talk to, and I can't hear or see anything about her, I might be

Defeated. My will is so weak.

"That's right...can't you do it for a week?"

"No. A week is nothing, right?"

"Half a month?"

"This is not buying food from the market, it's my request. Otherwise, I don't have the confidence to stay by your side."

Am I like a boyfriend who plans to cold-bloodedly bully his girlfriend?

Maybe it looks like this to outsiders.

But I am definitely not. I am really thinking about...how to be a boyfriend worthy of her.

Yes.

Even though I knew I was trash compared to any other man around her, I couldn't suppress my fantasy.

Could it be that... even after looking at other men around me and me, you would still choose me?

Although even I know it is impossible.

"But there are three bus stops so far away. It's too far. Can't it be closer?"

"It's been decided."

I endured the heartache and held her hand seriously, "I hope you can take this opportunity to re-value your own life. After that, we can meet again."

She couldn't refuse my request.

Just like I borrowed money again and again.

When I think of this, my heart aches again. You should stop being a scumbag to a certain extent.

——

I moved to a new place as promised.

Her request to help me move was rejected by me. I didn't have many things, so I finished them all while she was at work.

If I wait until she comes back, I might be asked to stay for dinner again. Then I probably won't be able to refuse her request to stay one more night.

I have to think about removing the traces of my life from here before she comes back. As much as possible.

Xia Xianyue now has nothing to make up for with me.

Speaking of which, I met her some time ago when I was going to get some money from her as soon as possible. She walked out of the building with her colleagues from the company.

"I heard...your boyfriend is gambling?"

A colleague said unceremoniously.

"I used to know how to do it, but now I have changed my ways. I am working hard."

"That's a lie, right? Once you gamble once, it's impossible to change. Now I'm asking you for money again but I'm doing nothing, right?"

“···”

"Let me tell you, wouldn't it be easy for an outstanding woman like you to change her boyfriend? And with your ability, you don't have to worry about losing status."

"I have never thought about changing my boyfriend. If my boyfriend is not good, the first thing I should think about as a girlfriend is to help him change."

"I really don't understand you-"

That's not forced.

It means smiling sincerely and saying that you still love yourself.

Then, he deceived her again and took the money to gamble.
To be continued...