But if everyone expresses their emotions simply and straightforwardly without any scruples when getting along with others, wouldn't that be like the Liuli people? She thought.

Ikoma turned on the light in the entrance hall, and the warm yellow light poured on the floor leading to the living room. She then turned on the light in the living room.

The laptop on the table is in standby mode, and an anime character is dozing in the middle of the dark screen.

She shook the mouse, and the screen switched to the page she browsed before she left.

"Why is that guy still the C in the fourth order? The operation is too biased."

"Every time she appears in the scene, I feel out of place. It feels like a country girl suddenly mixes with the young ladies."

"I understand, I understand! The private server dress is really tacky!"

"Speaking of which, the yelling in the show is so annoying. Can't we just cut out all the scenes about her? It's very uncomfortable."

"I don't understand why the operation recommends her. There are many members with higher quality than her in the group."

"Anything to talk about? Country girls having sex with each other or something like that (laughs)."

"This Dan Shixiao Jiang is so much better than her. If we stand together and compare them, it would be like a public execution."

…

Ikoma quickly closed the web page and shut down the laptop.

She sat on the sofa, stretched out her legs, and stared at the wall lamp above her head, feeling a little dazed.

Even after hosting so many parties, the feeling of emptiness after the event still follows me. The more satisfied I am, the happier I am, and the negative emotions afterward accumulate and oppress me.

It has been a year since she moved into this home, and every time she opens the door and walks in, she still suddenly feels a sense of strangeness.

Is it because she is alone? she thought.

In Akita's hometown, in the big house, her parents were there, and her grandparents were kind to her. When something unpleasant happened at school, she would hide on the Internet, watch anime, and chat with netizens.

Her father secretly signed up for the Nogizaka46 audition without telling her. He had the mentality of taking it one step at a time, but he didn't expect that he would be qualified and receive continuous center. Variety shows, magazines, radio broadcasts, and stage plays, which she had never dared to think about before.

I have worked hard on various stages and made some achievements. At the same time, I have also been criticized by people on the Internet and used as a source of entertainment.

She understands to some extent that this is what idols are like. As consumer goods, they are put on the shelves, and consumers are naturally entitled to complain about the goods they receive. She just hasn't fully adapted to it yet. Even after a year.

Of course Ikoma feels sad about the bad words on the Internet, but there is nothing she can do about it. Everyone in the group has been said bad things online, and even more vicious things are everywhere. She has tried to get used to it, and she is still getting used to it.

In the process.

But there was one thing she felt was right.

She, Rina Ikoma, is indeed not suitable to be the center.

Why choose me?

When she was in pain, she asked herself countless times and listed her strengths and weaknesses on paper. No matter how she thought about it, she felt that this was a very small probability event. However, this kind of luck happened to her four times in a row. It was a heavy burden.

It just fell on her unprepared shoulders.

In order to live up to the expectations of her members, she had to do everything she could, including dancing, singing, and interviews in variety shows. Without any experience, she had to learn a lot of knowledge. During those difficult days, fortunately, she had Gaoshan and Wu Gen.

Nishino stayed with her.

She doesn't want to worry her friends, so she rarely expresses her uneasy emotions. But human beings are not machines after all, and emotions that have been suppressed for a long time will eventually burst out one day.

When the topic of the fifth order came up today, Ikoma almost didn't brake.

But those words were also her true thoughts. She really hoped that Wu Geng could replace her. In this case, she would feel more at ease.

But judging from the appearance of the fifth watch, she doesn't seem to be interested in the center position.

Ikoma fell sideways on the sofa and sighed softly.

"I really want to be free..." she whispered to herself.

From the position of the center. From the bad words on the Internet.

——

When the foal woke up the next day, half of his body was in a state of paralysis. When he moved a little, the blood circulated wildly in his blood vessels. He felt a sour pain.

She accidentally rolled off the sofa onto the carpet, and her fluttering arms hit the corner of the table. She curled up and screamed in pain. It took a long time to recover.

Only then did he realize that he had slept on his side on the sofa all night yesterday. It was no wonder that his body was as stiff as a rusty machine, making a rattling sound when he moved slightly.

She struggled to get up and sneezed on the way. She touched her forehead and found that she didn't seem to have a fever. She felt lucky that the air conditioner was turned on in the living room last night. Otherwise, if the fever continued, she would have troubled Gao Shan and the others to ask for leave to take care of her.

.

"……correct!"

Thinking of asking for leave, she quickly took out her mobile phone, but it was already turned off.

"What are you doing..."

Look at the clock hanging on the wall of the living room.

Thirteen minutes to ten o'clock in the morning.

Ikoma's face suddenly fell. She was so late for the morning training session, but she felt a little indifferent. She scratched her messy hair.

In short, charge your phone first and turn it on.

Sure enough, there were a bunch of missed calls and text messages.

Ikoma rubbed his face, feeling deeply that his luck was bad.

When she rushed to the practice room, it was already half past ten.

This was the first time she was late since joining Nogizaka. On the way, she called Mr. Ueno to explain the situation.

Yesterday was Christmas, and the members went crazy at the party, which is understandable. In fact, five members were late today, and she was the sixth one. It’s just that Ikoma came a little late.

The morning class will be over in another hour.

Since Ikoma was away, Ueno simply stepped in to take her place.

There are not many opportunities to dance with the teacher, and everyone has no objections.

"Asleep on the sofa in the living room?"

On the way to the canteen, Gao Shan was a little worried, "You didn't catch a cold, did you? You can ask for leave first if you don't feel well. The fourth order has just come to an end, and there is nothing important to do after that."

"It's okay, it's okay," Ikoma waved his hand nonchalantly, "My body is very healthy. I didn't even breathe when I ran up from downstairs."

"I broke out in a cold sweat." Wugeng complained mercilessly.

"But a lot of people are really late today," Nishino said, "Sakurai-san, Wakazuki-san, Shiraishi-san, Hashimoto-san, and Ikoma-chan and Xiaoya. It seems that everyone had a fulfilling Christmas Eve.

Woolen cloth."

"What," Ikoma said flatly, "Xiaoxiao, aren't you late too?"

"It was a special situation for me. After delivering the little bird last night, you know what time it was when I got home, washed up, and lay on the bed? You're only ten minutes late, which is enough for you to be self-disciplined, right?"

"Then I am also in a special situation."

"what's the situation?"

"Uh... I'm in a bad mood."

"...There are really special circumstances that are willful enough."

At five o'clock in the morning, the four of them came to the canteen, ordered their favorite dishes, and brought them to the nearby table to eat.

Ikoma talked about the Christmas event in Akihabara yesterday. Takayama and Nishino were busy with other work at the time and did not accompany her. Although they were fine in the fifth hour, they were not interested and stayed at home until the Christmas party.

In the end, Ikoma asked Ichi to accompany her, and Matsumura, who got the news later, also joined her. After walking around for a while, the three of them separated in the evening. Matsumura had to attend the Christmas party of the upper group, and Ichilai was attending the under group party.

.

“The Christmas special event at the Men’s Clothing Café was super lively and the atmosphere was great!”

"Is it the one we went to before?" Wugeng was quite impressed. It was her first experience in a so-called theme cafe. Although it was a bit embarrassing, it was still a good experience.

"Yes, yes, that's it. Reina is also very excited, but maybe a little nervous and keeps running to the bathroom."

"...That's not excitement, that's embarrassment."

"Sha Youli is quite happy."

"But, I'm a little interested in the Christmas activities of the previous year group. I think it will be very interesting." Nishino said.

"...can you drink?" she asked.

"Hashimoto-san and Misai-senpai won't be adults until next year." Takayama stopped his chopsticks.

Several people looked at the members of the Nianshang group who were gathering for dinner not far away.

"It's great," Ikoma said with envy, "You can do a lot of things when you become an adult."

Including drinking, attending various places that only adults can attend, making decisions decisively and taking responsibility for her future life. She wants to be that kind of adult, able to live a stronger and calmer life.

Looking at Shiraishi and others, Ikoma thought so.
Chapter completed!