Su Mu covered herself in the quilt and struggled for a long time. She didn't know what she wanted to do or what was going on in her mind. Every time she thought of these things, she felt as if her head was spinning.

Like fireworks, all her thoughts were scattered and there was no way to put them together. She also hoped that she could face the problems calmly, but now that she thought about it, she had so many problems, and her situation was basically

It’s not that I can’t solve the problem, it’s that I don’t know what to solve first.

There is an old saying that goes, "If you have too many lice, you won't be itchy; if you have too many debts, you won't have to worry about it." Su Mu had always hoped that she could reach this state, but it was obvious that she was still lacking in this skill, so every time at this time, she would feel

I was exhausted, as if I was wasting my time.

In fact, when Su Mu was not working, she still kept her schedule full. She read books, wrote essays, practiced calligraphy every day, did some handicrafts she liked, occasionally went shopping by herself, and then

She watched all the movies shown in the cinema, followed the American dramas, followed the puppet show, and even started to teach herself psychology. When she was busy step by step like this, at the end of the day, Su Mu didn't even have time to chat with anyone.

.But somehow, this arrangement still couldn't completely calm down Su Mu's mind and think about the problems she faced. Over time, these problems persisted for a long time, and Su Mu's health finally paid the price.

Su Mu knew her own problems very well. She knew that she needed someone to guide her and listen to her tell her story. She had also tried to change the situation and wanted to find friends to talk to, but every time at this time, those things in her heart

The idea is worse than the djinn sealed in the lamp, there is absolutely no possibility of it being poured out.

She couldn't speak.

Probably because of her inferiority complex, Su Mu could not accept praise from others calmly, and she did not dare to explore her true inner thoughts with anyone. Even in the virtual two-dimensional world, Su Mu had no idea what she wanted to express.

She has reservations. She really can't completely expose herself to another person. She is afraid that some people will think her ideas are strange, and she is afraid that some people will think she is fake. Anyway, in summary, she is afraid of everything, even to show off to her.

The free and easy way he came out was completely different from the other two.

She admitted that she was a liar and pretended to be herself in front of everyone, so she knew that she had received retribution and could not get a sincere heart.

Su Mu has many friends, but most of them are casual acquaintances. Except for the three or four people she keeps in touch with from time to time, in the city where she has lived for twenty-seven years, she can always have someone to accompany her by making a phone call. That is

It was simply impossible to happen. When she was young, Su Mu didn't think there was anything wrong with this. Only now did she understand the causes and consequences, and she began to get used to doing everything by herself.

Fortunately, the so-called loneliness is nothing to Su Mu, or in other words, loneliness is the only weapon that can protect Su Mu.

It is a very frustrating state, and this state has become more and more obvious in Su Mu in recent years. She has always lived by the idea of ​​"if you don't want to be abandoned by others, abandon others first", so

To this day, when she really needs help, she is still unwilling to choose to let others help.

Relationships between people require affection. Su Mu knows this very well, so she can accept her own contributions, but she cannot accept others' contributions. Perhaps it is because even a little contribution from others will make her feel scared and make her feel uncomfortable.

She would feel indebted when she left, so Su Mu was almost never used to accepting kindness from others. Even if it was a small help, she would always try her best to return it.

The purpose is probably to be able to walk more openly when she pulls away, without having to feel any debt for her departure.

Like, every time she breaks up.

Su Mu has had several relationships. In total, the time spent together with the first three was not as long as the time spent with the fourth one. However, regardless of the length of time, Su Mu always felt that he was not in these relationships.

She had tried her best, even though she had sacrificed a lot in the process. After the breakup, she cried heartbrokenly and said she would never love again. But when she calmed down and looked back on the past, she felt that she had done it.

Those things, no matter how you think about them, seem to be just a joke.

This may sound scary, but there is a big difference between "trying to be a good girlfriend" and "I love you." For example, Su Mu did a lot of romance for her fourth boyfriend.

He also took good care of him. This man's roommates all envied her for having such a good girlfriend like Su Mu, who didn't do anything or make trouble, was obedient and took care of others. But when she thought about this after the breakup,

Su Mu felt that when she did those things, it was really not because she loved him. She might just enjoy the process of making him fall in love with her. Probably, this was the so-called desire to conquer.

Although Su Mu shed countless tears for him when they first got together.

Although in the end, this man cheated on another girl he had only known for four days after being away from Su Mu for a month.

At the beginning, Su Mu didn't believe it at all. After all, the two of them had been together for two and a half years. Even if he didn't give enough love, they wouldn't be able to withstand such troubles. She also tried hard to save her, but later, when she found out that he

When she started showing off her affection in the circle of friends, she knew that she would never have a chance again. Because he had never introduced her to his friends before, nor mentioned her in the circle of friends.

Yes, now that he has taken the initiative to do these things, maybe he really loves that girl.

For a period of time after the breakup, Su Mu felt that the world was very unfair to her. It was really hard for her to accept that she had paid so much for this relationship but had such an ending. She kept wanting

It proved that there was really no place for that girl to compare with her. She didn't want to admit that she would be compared with others. But in the end, she realized that he fell in love with the woman who she thought was completely inferior to her.

This is her biggest failure.

She had been depressed for a long time. Even if she finally calmed down, she could not face such a betrayal. It was not until that person appeared that Su Mu suddenly realized that maybe she was not as good as she seemed in that relationship.
Chapter completed!