When I got home, it was already three o'clock in the morning. Along the way, I was like a drunkard in the dark, crying and laughing crazily. There was no one on the street, and I didn't need to care about other people's opinions. That's when I realized

, It turns out that night is the time when all kinds of people in this world take off their disguises and reveal their true colors. No matter how shocking they are during the day, they are still the same in the dark night.

Yes, in the past few days, too many things have happened that I didn't expect. I don't know how to face it, and I can't even control my behavior. All my words and deeds come from the deepest feelings in my heart.

It was an instinctive reaction. For a moment, I couldn't remember who I had hurt.

When I got home, I still couldn't fall asleep. I turned on the computer and found the word file that had been on the desktop for a long time. Basically every day I would open it and write something in it. There was no title and everything in it was separate from Jingxue.

In one year, I probably wrote more than 50,000 words of what I wanted to say to her, and I didn’t even count them. I opened it, but I didn’t know what to write. It seemed that a lot of words were pouring out of my heart after the scene just now.

There were many words that I thought I would never be able to finish, but in the end, I couldn’t say a single word.

There is a pile of letter paper on the table. On it are the songs I have written for the first time in my life. I have completed two of them. The first song is called "Qingyu", which is her name, Jingxue, minus the radical.

I want to express my feelings for her in my own way, that is music, I love music, and all my creative inspirations come from her. I may never write anything again for the rest of my life.

Such a beautiful song.

"Green Rain"

Breeze, gently swaying

Time is long

sit on steps

looking into the distance

afternoon sunshine

sprinkle on face

who is playing guitar

Sing softly

Smiling like an angel, looking affectionately into the distance

Like butterflies bringing the fragrance of flowers

your steps

Follow the melodious singing

walked in gently

my heart

I'm looking forward to you coming to me

I will sing for you all my life

green rain long

over sadness

Wherever you are, it's heaven

I'm looking forward to you coming to me

I will spend my whole life watching for you

Qingyu melodious

blowing in the wind

The place with you is my hometown

A green rain fell into my heart like this. Everything I once regarded as a treasure has become worthless now that she has turned around and left. Yes, three years, less than three months, maybe I

My love is too heavy, too innocent, pure, but careful. I am afraid that my words and deeds will hurt her, and I am even more afraid that she will misunderstand me because of my slightest fault.

.

I taught myself how to play the guitar, and it was also because I wanted to write a song for her, so I didn’t find it difficult. Whenever I finished my run late at night, I would hold the guitar, hide in the room, and play and sing quietly.

I once planned to lead a band, hold a music concert for her after graduating from high school, and write twelve songs for her. There are twelve months in a year, and I thought maybe I couldn’t accompany her every minute, but I

I am willing to accompany her through the spring, summer, autumn and winter of the year with my singing.

However, out of the twelve songs, only two were written, one was "Green Rain", and the other was only composed to music.

I am not willing to give in. Even if I don’t like it, I will let her tell me personally!

So, I opened her dialog box.

Maybe you will find it ridiculous, yes, how can anyone confess their love to the same person twice? But it was me, once again, in that cold winter night, telling her my love for her for the second time.

"Before I met you, I didn't think that I would confess to you for the second time. This is different from what I originally thought. I didn't plan to tell you this when the college entrance examination is coming, but now it seems that some words

I have to say, because I'm afraid that I won't have this opportunity in the future. You know? I thought I would find a very beautiful girl in the future, or my ideal love would be that vigorous feeling, vowing to commit suicide.

I will never change my mind, but later I discovered that I was wrong. It turns out that what I really want is a simple tacit understanding, a simple sense of security, ordinary and simple, and there are small wonderful things in every day.

We quarrel, but in the end it turns into sweetness deep in our hearts. Just like this, day after day, year after year, until in the end we are both too old to look like, but we can still accompany each other and depend on each other for life. I may not be able to give you such luxury.

Wealth and honor cannot give you the kind of ups and downs that can be lamented by the world, but I can assure you that I can make the time with you ordinary but not mediocre. The me before, confessing to you, is really not

What result do you want, because even I thought it was not the right time at the time, but it is different now. I want your answer, still that person, that heart, are you willing to have it?"

A long list of words, when I clicked to send, my hands were shaking, because when I was writing these, I had already anticipated the ending, but I just wanted to hear her reject me personally.

, completely made me give up!

About twenty minutes later, the special concern alert sounded, and there were two messages, one long and one short, both filled with rejection. I don’t remember how she replied to me, I just remember that she seemed to say that she

She should have made it clear to me earlier. She said she was honored to be someone who has long-standing beliefs and expressed her gratitude for all my care.

That short message is "Thank you".

Haha, I smiled bitterly. I spent three years of secret love in exchange for a word of thanks, a sharp blade that broke all illusions and distanced all relationships, which was deeply engraved in my heart.

Broken, completely broken, leaving not a single green leaf, not a single river, everything I fought for ceased to exist on that winter night. When my heart is empty, I feel relaxed, and there is no longer anything to be sorry or sorry about.

I finally got that freedom to live just for myself.

Gone, already gone, leaving only a big dream, a pair of backs, everything I once pursued, no longer exists on that winter night. I am hurt, no longer uncomfortable, there is no longer anything to let go

Unable to let go, I finally gained that kind of tranquility and lived only for myself.

Empty, already empty, leaving no trace or clue. Everything I guarded with all my strength ceased to exist on that winter night. When my heart is cold, I feel relieved. There is no longer anything I can’t forget.

I finally gained the kind of tolerance and lived only for myself.

Live only for yourself and tolerate those who gave me dreams and then shattered them.

Yes, there is no right or wrong. No matter how much unwillingness there is, you can only know it for yourself, and there is no need for others. That letter that has been written for a long time and suddenly has no ending, that song that is only a little completed, that order

The lamentable memories of the past have also been permanently sealed in my mind and my diary with the passage of time, and they have been buried together and turned into ashes until a new one is born again on this land.

Stories, new memories.

I have never thought about how I would live if I left you. I didn’t dare to think about it before, but now I have to think about it. The belief that supported my struggle collapsed overnight. I once again felt my own insignificance and feelings.

I'm so confused, the world is so big, where should I go? Like a lost child, unable to find the direction of home, covered with bruises, falling in the cold winter night, lonely, desperate, helpless, sad, accompanied by bone-chilling pain

The cold wind swept over me, and I couldn't even find a place to take shelter.
Chapter completed!