(last night)

"Turn around the Zhu Pavilion, lower the Qi household, and the light will shine on the sleepless people."

Being without inspiration is painful.

Restless, tossing and turning.

As soon as I feel pain...inspiration comes.

This is what is said, "If you are poor, you will change, if you change, you will be general, and if you are general, you will be long-lasting."

lifefullups and downs.

Art is to turn sorrow and misery into poems and songs.

So it went from sad to poignant and beautiful.

Thinking of Li Qingzhao who was "miserable and pitiful".

Empress Li who "asked you how much sorrow you can have".

Xin Qiji "but said that the cool weather makes it a good autumn".

"There is neither wind or rain nor sunshine" Su Shi.

Talking about online writing. When I first came here, I was struggling with signing a contract and struggling with stand-alone.

It is hopeless to be unable to sign a contract and no one will look at it.

It's the kind of despair and abyss that can destroy people.

Then I regained my original intention and thought... my original dream (with a song of the same name) was just:

"Don't be afraid of being shattered into pieces. You must leave your innocence in this world."

I don’t know whether it’s innocent or not. In short, I just splashed ink and left a picture of my own.

This is the first priority.priority.

Now, I am appreciated, urged to update, and waited for the days of renewal.

It's sweet, but it's also sweet burden.

on the other hand.

The real problem has never been solved.

It seems that the contract signing has not been mentioned for a long time.

Maybe I'm getting used to it gradually,

I'm used to the feeling of not being in the system.

If I hand over the copyright to the platform and go out on the street again, I will feel sorry for the words I wrote and for the more than 150 days and nights.

Also, I can't stand those rules and regulations.

I don't know what the outcome of this stubborn resistance will be, and I probably don't particularly care.

First of all, I want to firmly believe in the saying "Sometimes must happen in life."

Secondly, as mentioned just now, I just want to have no distracting thoughts and do one thing seriously.

"Choose one thing for the rest of your life."

Like the ending of chelsea hotel no.2: that's all, i don't even thinkyou that often.

Change "you" in the sentence to something that has nothing to do with the writing itself.

At this time, I recalled what Xiaoyou said:

If Maruwan deliberately didn't sign the contract, I might give you a good meal, even though I don't have the strength.

June 7

I can't help but cry, Maruwan, hurry up and sign the contract!

August 19

Thank you, thank you all.

Let’s talk about the signing... let’s talk about it later.

Off topic again.

What I want to talk about today is "I have nothing to write about lately".

(The idiom "lackluster" comes to mind, but it doesn't seem to apply here.)

This may be the first time I really feel the feeling of random updates, Yu Xi accidentally falling asleep while writing articles for many days in a row, Axiao and Xiaoyou staying up late coding...

In fact, it is unlikely that I will feel this. Because there are countless saved manuscripts, I can just write some words.

So why did it still happen?

There is a very magical phenomenon here.phenomenon.

It used to be said that repressive education was prevalent in China.

Say, Chinese parents are experts discouraging their children.

So, it's relative.

Praise-based education?

Now, in the appreciated present.

I received a kind of feedback called fear from deep within myself.

"Afraid of being on the beach, I'm afraid."

I'm afraid...it's hard to live up to the reputation.

Therefore, whether it is suppression or praise, it will bring pressure.

In addition, the former can easily lead to inferiority complex, while the latter can easily lead to complacency.

Yesterday Zifeng said that he needs me to popularize knowledge.

But, I am... anti-knowledge.

It is still believed that people can be admired based on their inner nobility.

And this noble person has an innate brilliance that sees the wise and thinks about them, and he is the most holy through learning. He also has an innate brilliance that does not require learning from anyone.

As expected, I still yearn for the latter.

I am a born rebel and always get great satisfaction from resistance.

Don't learn, don't take orders ("i don't take orders"), don't change, don't argue, don't yield, don't obey...

Anti-tradition, anti-nature (no matter how reasonable the laws of nature are, I still don’t like the setting of the food chain), anti-everything...

Now I feel that in these short four or five months, in this short period of more than 200,000 words, I have almost explained my own thoughts.

(As for the pile of manuscripts...well, I haven't reviewed them for a long time...the content may be a bit too green.

Instead of polishing the original stone, it is better to pick up a new one at your fingertips.

If it can be done.)

Just like Ah Mao said when he suddenly finished the book: My past twenty years have been contained in these 100,000 words. If I write the next book, I may have to wait until I am forty years old.

Regarding "autoluminescence", maybe people will say to me: How can you say you "don't learn" when you quote all the classics, various ancient poems, foreign languages, songs, and movies.

Well, it’s not that I don’t want to learn.

Instead, I was thrown into the dye vat of the world, and spent my whole life trying to find my original color.

I also thought of the lyrics of gods and monsters, innocence lost.

It’s not that I don’t learn.

It’s just that I haven’t learned this word in my heart for a long time.

Ah Mao's words are all his own, with almost no citations.

This is exactly what I've been meaning to say:

At the original point, everyone has his own spiritual brilliance.

This brilliance has nothing to do with the world or others.

This is a kind of "knowledge".

This "knowing it from birth" is not inconsistent with "people are not born knowing it".

This "born knowing" refers to the fact that humans, as one of the top known creatures, have a rich inner world from the beginning and have the ability to perceive, feel, and understand the external world.

Among them, "knowledge" that can lead mankind forward can be called virtue.

To sum up.

Ah Yin, who is ignorant and has no skills, may have to start learning...
To be continued...