The woman pulled out threads from the liquid, and then slowly weaved something unknown:

"Pain is the eternal theme of my life. In the final analysis, what did I do wrong? I just don't like fighting with the gangsters on the street. Compared with knights, I often talk about love. Compared with shining swords, I give

I just like dolls that can be dressed up.

"Am I wrong?

"of course not.

"Now I can give this answer categorically, but it is actually too late. Am I wrong? This question has been with me for thirty years of my life.

"Until that wet night.

"I had just finished my job at the steel mill and left a bunch of smelly men. You know what? In order to get the job, I had to pretend to be a man and hang out with them and drive a yellow car.

Just kidding, I know it's not their fault, but life like this...

"Makes me sick.

"I left the factory staggeringly, and at that time I met someone I never wanted to see in my life.

"My childhood playmate, Adam.

"We were always good friends when we were little, until one time I told my parents that I didn't want to be a boy, and everything slowly changed.

“First my parents scolded me, then they cursed me, then they started arguing and blaming each other, and then they wanted to send me to the hospital.

"I didn't know what was waiting for me there at first.

"The doctors asked me a lot of questions, and finally they came to the conclusion: there was something wrong with me.

"They told me, they told me day after day, I'm a boy, I'm a boy, I'm a boy, I'm a boy, I'm a boy...

Although the woman's expression was extremely calm when she spoke, her voice would tremble slightly every time she said I am a boy.

"If I said I was a girl, they would beat me. I no longer dare to recall how much I was hurt. Even a second of memories is enough to destroy everything about me."

"I only know that the doctor promised my parents beforehand that they would give them a normal boy.

"I said, I'm not telling you this to gain sympathy, I just need you to know.

"Holla, you are luckier than me.

"But I'm not a fool. Although I can never change my gender, I at least know how to pretend.

"I lied to the doctor, so I told everyone I was a boy.

"I am discharged from the hospital. There is no more solitary confinement, no more insults, no more beatings, no more countless fear and pain, no more hiding in the corner, trembling, and licking my wounds.

"I'm back under the sun and able to breathe freely.

"The first person I turned to was my best friend, Adam.

"I only made one mistake, and that was pouring out my pain to him.

"I got two things, frightened eyes...

"And a one-way ticket to the hospital.

"I'm back there.

"hell."

The woman stopped knitting and began to gently touch the surface of the liquid, letting the magic flow gently in it.

"That was the day I met him for the second time.

It was a wet and sticky night.

Adam stopped me who deliberately didn't look at him.

I hesitated for a long time, but finally I stopped.

What do you think he did? He walked up and put his arm around my shoulders as if nothing happened and said:

'Isn't this my brother Phoenix? Come on, let's go have a drink together.'

Of course I couldn't refuse.

I followed him to a small bar. I just kept the pretense of being in the factory and talked to him about things like how the market was doing this year, until he seemed to be a little drunk.

He said to me: 'Do you remember when we used to play together as kids?'

'Um,'

'you remember……'

'Adam, have a drink.'

'Do you remember that?'

Adam just turned his head and looked at me, with a guilty and painful expression on his face.

'Phoenix, I did something, a very bad, terrible thing, right?'

I was silent because I didn't dare to speak. Once I spoke, I didn't know what terrible words I would say.

'sorry Sorry.'

He kept repeating these three words.

'you're drunk.'

‘No, Phoenix, I am a betrayer. I was the one who told the secret at first, but I never imagined that I would find out about such a thing later. You, you...

'Can you forgive me?'

"I am you" I said these words without much hesitation.

Then he lay in my arms and cried loudly, like a child who had not grown up.

He was saved.

When we dragged our tired bodies out of the bar, he extended an invitation to me:

'I'm going to have a party at home the day after tomorrow, do you want to come with me?'

Of course I rejected him right away, but after he invited me again and again, I still couldn't refuse him.

I can not do it.

I arrived as promised.

There are several people in his family. They are all young people in their twenties, and all of them are unmarried. They are the kind of people who hang out in bars every night, enjoy the unrestrained feeling, and regard having fun as their own.

Life guy.

Adam first showed an expression of joy, then took me to the center of the room, looked at his friends, and said loudly:

'I would like to introduce you to a person, this is the "Phoenix" I mentioned before.'

He blinked.

But the situation was beyond his expectation, and no one present had any obvious reaction.

Adam added:

'Phoenix? Is that the one I mentioned to you, Phoenix?'

I looked at his face and saw anticipation.

I know what he expected.

The whole room burst into laughter.

A young girl said:

'Adam, this isn't good.'

Adam looked at them with his left eye:

'What's wrong? He is!'

'hahahahahahahaha.'

No one laughed.

except me.

At that moment, I understood four things.

The first thing is that it was because I liked Adam that I was so eager to find the person I loved most to talk about my pain and long for comfort.

He also knows, and this...

Make him gag.

I don't blame him, it's not his fault, but he shouldn't have done what he did today.

I understand the second thing.

I'm not wrong, I'm not a boy.

I am a woman, from beginning to end.

I understand the third thing.

That's when I should pick up the chair.

Then once, twice, three times...

Hit Adam on the head.

First there were screams, then pleas for mercy, and best of all, footsteps running away in a hurry.

Even though blood and brains were flowing out of my watermelon-like head, I couldn't stop my movements, four times, five times, six times...

I understand the fourth thing.

That hospital, no, that prison, it's not really hell there.
Chapter completed!