An essay written in the age of angry youth, some memories of youthful recklessness.

This article was written on June 1st and has not been published. One is that it is unwilling to destroy the atmosphere of the festival and attracts people's annoyance. Another reason is that it is better not to mention it. Now I still have to post it because some wounds, even if you don't mention it, it still exists and makes a faint pain)

The dream of a poor child

It’s June 1st again. Maybe it’s because of getting older. Every year, I always think of my childhood when I was a child, and then smile at the inexpensive little girl in my memory, which is very miserable.

Because at that time my dream was: grow up quickly, buy twenty popsicles for one dollar, hide in a place where no one can enjoy it, and no one can give it to you!

The strongest voice of that era was to revitalize China. I remember a classmate in the class wrote the beautiful four big words "Revitalize China" with a brush and posted them on the blackboard newspaper column. The teacher also taught us to learn from him and be an ideal boy.

However, I was stubborn in my dreams, bought twenty popsicles, hid in a place where no one could enjoy it, and no one would give it to me! Those who wanted to eat milk, although those who had little beans could buy thirty, I wanted to eat milk!

This dream cannot be told to others, but I took him to grow up in the wilderness of the town outside the border.

At that time, my parents were very busy and often worked overtime. But they only cost more than 30 yuan a month. I had to "routine" skip school almost every June 1st because there were activities in the school that day and I had to wear new sneakers. I didn't have them, and my family didn't buy them. The most luxurious time in my memory was when my mother paid her salary or was in a good mood. She gave me a big flock and bought a popsicle, but didn't dare to bite it because she ate it too fast, usually in her mouth, and slowly waited for it to melt, and the aftertaste was endless.

In fact, I was once rich. During the Chinese New Year, I had more than five or six yuan in total, but as usual, my parents always took it back and said that I would give it to me when I grew up. So I tried my best to grow up.

Later I finally grew up, and I could buy thousands of the best popsicles in a month's salary, but I never had the desire to eat popsicles again. Even when I was chatting with my family, I didn't dare to mention it again. Because my mother's unit was sold in the trend of "grasping the big and letting go of the small" hosted by a certain company, her pension was nowhere to be settled. Although we and my father said that we could support her and indeed support him, we could not erase the melancholy in her eyes. During the Chinese New Year, we looked at the mother who had always been strong.

With a humble and old body, we brothers and sisters can do nothing. We all know that the pension of a hundred yuan is not enough for our meal, but it represents the value that my mother devoted to the country for the first half of her life. Now in her own heart, she is a useless person who needs support. My dream of twenty popsicles is enough to break all her spiritual support. Because when I wanted to eat popsicles the most, all her overtime work for the unit was free of charge for the "Four Modernizations Construction".

In 1998, my leader asked me to write an article praising the changes in China since the reform and opening up. Although I was in Beijing, I had been to Shenzhen, Guangdong, and Shanghai, and had seen all the most prosperous cities in China, but I was unable to write. Finally, I turned it down because I couldn't write good articles in engineering. Because even though I had written all the hymns in the world, I still couldn't face my mother's eyes. I was ashamed that although I was in Beijing for several years, I still couldn't afford an affordable house, so I brought my parents to enjoy my old age. But my mother always comforted me in the letter, saying that she was proud of me because among my neighbors, I was the most promising child. Most of my 60 students in elementary school, except for my parents who were from background, had laid off and set up street stalls on the street to make a living. There were only four of them who could fly out of the town.

I was very lucky to fly out and throw the town far away in my memories. In the future, my children will no longer have popsicles as their ideals. They can guide the country in their youth like children in big cities. And my elementary school classmates, I don’t know what their dreams and reality are. I hope that every dream will no longer have tears tomorrow.
Chapter completed!