Author: Chop wood and carry water

It's New Year's Eve again, and sporadic firecrackers are heard on the street. Meat is stewed in the pot on the stove at Zhang Caixia's house, with steaming white steam. Haiyan and Huzi are lying on the table writing homework. Zhang Caixia is sitting on the kang.

He was doing needlework and singing:

The moon is bright, the wind is calm, and the leaves cover the window lattice

The clatter of crickets is like the sound of the strings of a harp

The sound of the piano is soft, the tune is melodious, and the cradle swings gently

The mother's baby closed her eyes and fell asleep, sleeping in her dream...

Ma Dazhu sat on the counter and listened to the song.

Zhang Haiyan said: Mom, you sing so beautifully. I learned one or two songs and made our classmates envious.

Zhang Caixia: You still have to study hard and don't just learn those useless things. After the new year, you will be admitted to college. Work hard and try to study in a provincial capital.

Zhang Haiyan smiled and said: Mom, don’t worry, I know it well.

Zhang Caixia looked at her daughter lovingly and said with a smile: You know what kind of university you want to go to?

Her mother has asked this question many times, but she has never answered it directly, just vaguely and perfunctorily. Zhang Caixia knows that her daughter is thoughtful and will not answer easily when she is not sure about things, so she never presses the question. Today is Chinese New Year, Zhang Haiyan's mood

Good, so he asked with a smile: Do you remember when you told me the origin of my name?

Gorky's Haiyan carries the beautiful youth era of her and Viagra. For Zhang Caixia, it is an unforgettable and beautiful memory. How could she forget it? She smiled and said: Remember, remember, of course I remember!

As he spoke, he couldn't help but recite with emotion: Gorky's Petrel, on the vast sea, the strong wind rolled up the dark clouds. Between the dark clouds and the sea, the petrel flew proudly like black lightning.

Sometimes its wings hit the waves, and sometimes it shoots straight towards the dark clouds like an arrow, and it screams - in the brave cry of the bird, the dark clouds hear joy...

Zhang Haiyan's brother and sister were all fascinated. They had never seen their mother so emotional before. They couldn't help but follow her and were intoxicated. Huzi praised: Mom, you recite so well. Have you ever performed on stage?

When her son said this, Zhang Caixia realized that she had lost her composure and couldn't help but blush. She smiled sweetly and said: Mom is just like you, she also had her days when she was young.

Zhang Haiyan immediately became excited and urged curiously: Please tell me, what were you like when you were young?

Zhang Caixia came back to her senses, sighed and said: What else can I do but be like you? My mother has experienced everything you have.

Zhang Haiyan said excitedly: Mom must also be a beautiful woman in school, and she must be very popular with boys. Please tell me, how did you and my dad meet?

Zhang Caixia's eyes dimmed, and she quickly changed her words: Didn't we just talk about your exams? How could we go off topic! Please tell me, what does the school you want to take exams have to do with Haiyan?

Seeing that her mother had avoided the topic, Zhang Haiyan could only sigh in disappointment, then picked up the torn-up collection of Gorky's essays, waved it in front of her mother, and said with a smile: Of course it does matter, you have been there since you were a child.

Read this collection of poems with me and give me the name of a petrel. I know that this petrel is very important to you and me. But I have grown up and I don’t even know what it looks like.

, do you think I should go and see it?!

Zhang Caixia looked at her daughter lovingly, and the mother and daughter had a heart-to-heart connection: Do you want to go to college at the beach?

Zhang Haiyan affirmed: Of course, I must go and watch Haiyan read.

Zhang Caixia said worriedly: It's far away from us, and the school there has very high scores. Can you pass the exam?

Zhang Haiyan said confidently: Of course, no problem, I have done very well in these mock tests, I will definitely pass it!

Zhang Caixia was a little excited after hearing this: Really? Can you really pass the exam? I think it’s pretty good if you can pass the university in the provincial capital!

Zhang Haiyan said disapprovingly: We can't see the sea from the provincial capital. My dream is to go to a place with the sea. That's where Haiyan lives. I want to take you with me, leave this home, and go to a place with the sea to study.

!

Zhuzi and Huzi said in unison: Really? Will you take us with you too? I want to see Haiyan too!

Zhang Haiyan said firmly: Of course, let’s go see the sea together!

After saying that, he suddenly sighed with a gloomy look: Alas, it would be great if he didn't come back this year.

Zhang Caixia said: Silly girl, what would this family be without your father? How can we still celebrate the New Year?

Zhang Haiyan retorted: Who said that? I think if you have a mother, you have a family.

Ma Xiaohu answered: There is meat in the pot and a mother on the kang to celebrate the New Year!

Zhang Haiyan and Ma Dazhu said: That’s right.

Everyone laughed.

Zhang Haiyan said: Mom, what kind of person is my father?

Zhang Caixia said: Your father is actually not as bad as you think. Without him, where would our family be?

Zhang Haiyan said: Is he not a bad person? Are there any bad people out there today? After drinking, he will go crazy and beat you up all over the world. Not only that, but he will not go home all day long and fool around outside.

Zhang Caixia said: If he doesn't come back, why don't we try to keep things quiet? Besides, he's not just doing that outside. The folks in the village point at him when they have something to do! Others still respect him, otherwise

Where did our family get all these new year's goods?

Zhang Haiyan said: Doing good deeds? I think it’s one ten thousandth. I’m afraid the New Year’s goods these years are all for my mother’s sake. Mother, do you really not understand or are you pretending not to understand why he treats you like this?

, and even spoke for him.

After a pause, Haiyan continued: He is still going around to ruin my reputation. I wish I could kill him! If anyone kills him for me, I will give my body to him.

Everyone was shocked, Zhang Caixia quickly stopped and said: Don't talk nonsense, your life is precious, you have never even seen the outside world, so don't think nonsense!

When everyone came to their senses, Ma Xiaohu said: Mom, what is the world like outside?

Zhang Caixia said: It’s been almost twenty years, and I don’t know what it’s like now. I know that at that time, there was a flush toilet in the house. In the winter, you didn’t have to go to the yard to use the toilet with a stick, and it was hard to bang the drum and your buttocks were frozen.

.

As he said this, he himself laughed.

Zhang Haiyan said: Ah, the people in this city are so careless. They eat food from outside the house. How arrogant.

Ma Xiaohu said: What is a flush toilet?

Zhang Caixia said: You silly children, study hard. I believe that one day, when you enter the city, you will see everything.

Everyone said in a daze, with longing expressions on their faces.

It's late at night, the moonlight shines in from the window, and Zhuzi and Huzi are all asleep. Zhang Caixia is sitting by the window using the street light to mend Huzi's pants. She now likes to be alone in the dead of night like this. Just now she

When she came here, she felt that she might not be able to stay for a day. She was afraid of being alone, which would remind her of the painful past.

So as soon as she came, she gathered a bunch of big girls and little wives, filling the daytime in this house, and being happy and laughing with them. This is what she wanted, but at night, who else could come?

With her?

Only loneliness accompanies her. She is afraid of the night. She is afraid of Ma Guoli's violence to her, but she is even more afraid of being alone in the dark night in this wilderness. That is because she is afraid of loneliness. Compared with the loneliness in the night, she

She even hoped that Ma Guoli would be by her side, which would make her temporarily forget her loneliness.

She kept looking for things to do, and she endured Ma Guoli's abuse, all for one purpose, which was to forget her loneliness, because when she was lonely, those memories would come to visit her quietly, and memory is very willful.

Yes, it likes things that make her sad and painful the most, which scares her more than Ma Guoli's harm to her.

As the children were born and grew up, and as her status in the village increased day by day, she was kept busy. This fear of the night and loneliness slowly receded from her life and gradually disappeared.

, maybe I was really busy and forgot about it.

Nowadays, the children are all grown up, and they are all well-behaved and sensible, and no longer bother her, but she likes the solitude in the dark night, which gives her time to be busy with handicrafts alone, and miss her relatives who are far away.

They, she missed her Viagra, her father, her brother, her mother and sister. How are they doing now? How are they? What are they doing at this time? Are they also with her?

Still thinking about her?

She doesn't want her relatives to see her pain, she doesn't expect to be forgiven by her relatives, let alone begging her relatives to pity her and save her from the sea of ​​suffering; she just hopes that one day

, taking these children with her, taking her full of happiness, to see them and truly wish them peace.

She originally thought that this day would never come, but she never thought that her daughter, her and her Viagra daughter, the daughter who gave her the only reason to live, the daughter who placed all her hopes on her, now looks at this

Her daughter may really bring her hope and become her savior. All this is as real as a dream. This is the legendary dream coming true. Zhang Caixia smiled happily.

Already.

Zhang Haiyan woke up and saw Zhang Caixia sitting by the window, so she got up and put on some clothes and came over and said: Mom, are you still busy?

Zhang Caixia said: "No, after the New Year you are about to start school again. I will take this time to tidy up Huzi's clothes so that he has a new look, right?"

Zhang Haiyan came over to help: Mom, during the day I wanted to ask, what kind of person is my biological father? But you distracted me.

Zhang Caixia lowered her head and said nothing, falling into happy contemplation.

Zhang Haiyan looked at Zhang Caixia: In her eyes, is he the best man in the world?

Zhang Caixia just smiled happily and did not answer. Zhang Haiyan's expression turned cold and said: I don't think he is a good person who left us mother and daughter in this barren mountain.

Zhang Caixia hurriedly interrupted: Don't talk nonsense, he also encountered huge difficulties at that time, so you can't blame him.

Zhang Haiyan said: What's difficult? What's difficult? It's been so many years, hasn't it passed yet? And you haven't come to us either?

Zhang Caixia looked disappointed and said: I don’t know.

Zhang Haiyan said: Could it be that he is dead?

Zhang Caixia hurriedly interrupted: "Don't talk nonsense."

Zhang Haiyan said: I see, all men in the world are the same, none of them are good.
To be continued...