Chapter 66 My destiny is up to me and not God (3) - Enlightenment while facing the wall

Author: A willow tree in the eternal blue sky

Chapter 66 My destiny is up to me and not God (3) - Enlightenment while facing the wall

Tang Qianying packed up her things, stood over and tilted her head to look at it for a while, then said, "The forceful meaning is enough, but the flavor always feels weird."

Qingyun nodded in agreement and wrote twice more, but it still didn't work.

"How about we make do with it?"

Zhuo Lang felt it was a waste of time.

He couldn't see any difference at all.

Qin Manman was unhappy, "No! If you want to do it, you have to do your best!"

"Fifth brother, I can't waste your hard work." Qing Yun stretched out and continued to stare at Nezha on the wall in a daze.

Zhuo Lang shrugged helplessly.

no way.

Obviously, Qin Manman understands him better than these brothers.

After being in a daze for a while, Qing Yun turned to look at the classmates behind her, "You guys should go back first. I'll be alone for a while. I need to find my feelings."

"I'll accompany you when they go back." Qin Manman immediately stood beside him.

Tang Qianying bit her lip and said, "Xiao Yunzi, my sister also stayed with me."

Qing Yun shook his head and smiled, "I can't write anything while you are here."

Qin Manman was stunned when he heard this.

Everyone who was packing their things also looked puzzled.

Tang Qianying seemed to understand something, and stepped back with a smile.

Seeing such actions from the corner of his eye, Qin Manman felt a little uncomfortable.

What does it mean?

You understand him better than I do!

Looking at Qin Manman's somewhat resentful eyes, Qing Yun was also a little bit confused about whether to laugh or cry, "There is a bit of sadness and anger in this word. I don't feel this way when you are by my side."

Qin Manman suddenly smiled like a flower when he heard this.

Guess you know the truth!

There’s no word ‘we’ in it!

But...then she frowned.

Zhuo Lang touched his chin and clicked his tongue, "If this is the case, if you want to feel sad and angry, I have a solution."

"What can we do? Say it quickly!"

Qin Manman's tone was very anxious.

Although she understood what Qing Yun meant, he felt that the world was happy when she was by his side.

However, she didn't want to let him fall into that state of mind again.

If I had to rely on revisiting my memory to write those few words.

She would rather Qing Yun just finish writing it.

She once put herself into Qing Yun's situation, imagining his past experiences, and the feeling of not being able to see any light in the darkness made her cry all night.

This was also the reason why she refused to kill Tang Qianying.

Whether it was rationally or based on Qing Yun's feelings, she could not kill him at this time.

So when Zhuo Lang suggested another way, she took it more seriously than anyone else.

Zhuo Lang was startled by Qin Manman being so anxious. He scratched his head.

"Well... what I mean is, how about you and Sister Ying shout 'Lao Zi Shu Dao Mountain' together?"

Everyone burst into laughter.

this……

I'm afraid that not only will I feel sad and angry, but my courage will be scared out of my mind.

Qin Manman didn't know whether to laugh or cry when he heard this, but his eyes when he looked at Qing Yun were green.

hehe!

Everyone knows Sima Zhao’s intentions, right?

Zhuo Lang also realized that something was not right, and quickly added, "One is my girlfriend and the other is my sister. Doesn't the youngest have this sad and angry charm?"

Tang Qianying held a large compass in her hand and rolled her eyes at him, "Bad idea!"

After saying that, he took Qin Manman and left, "Let's go! He has walked out. He is fine."

Qin Manman snorted inwardly, of course it's okay.

With such a memory, I will probably think of you as a beam of light in the end!

Scheming frog!

However, her footsteps did not stop.

Since he wants to do it perfectly, let him do it.

As for the rest, just take care of it later!

After the crowd had dispersed, Qing Yun simply sat on the floor, holding her head and looking at the paintings on the wall in a daze.

Each generation has its own memory.

Regarding Nezha, the deepest memory of his generation is not the Nezha when the devil boy came into the world.

But Qing Yun had a deeper resonance with the devil boy Nezha. When it was released, he, a man in his 30s, burst into tears in the cinema.

Before going to school, he was just like Nezha in "The Devil Boy Comes to the World" and was not popular with others.

The demon boy Nezha wanted to play with the local children. The children had no prejudice against him, but the children's parents called him a monster.

So does he.

He was scolded as a child without parents and was not allowed to play with him.

The demon boy Nezha went to catch monsters and wanted to do justice for heaven, but they falsely accused Nezha of doing all the bad things. On the beach, they hit him with wooden sticks indiscriminately.

So does he.

When he was 6 years old, he caught a snake that slipped into a pig pen, but people said he was the one who threw the snake in, and all the mischief and mischief were blamed on him.

It wasn't until he went to school that he became a "child of other people" because of his talent. In the village, his reputation immediately changed.

All the children's parents let their children play with him.

Regarding "Nezha Makes the Sea", the scene that impressed Qing Yun the most was not that Nezha made trouble in the East China Sea, cramped his dragon tendons, and beat up the third prince of the Dragon King, but that the dragon kings from all over the world flooded Chentangguan, with dark clouds rolling and turbid waves in the sky, forcing Nezha to wave.

When you kill yourself with the sword.

On one side, his father forced him to die, and on the other side, the Dragon King asked him to take his own life. Nezha was only 7 years old at that time. It was the most frightening time in his life. No one stood by his side. Nezha was heartbroken.

Sad and angry.

But no matter how scared he was, Nezha still chose to be a hero and carry it all by himself.

He pointed his finger at the Dragon King and said: "Old demon dragon, listen, I am responsible for everyone's work, and I won't allow you to harm the people!"

He looked back at his father again and said those tear-jerking words: "Dad! I will return your flesh and blood to you, and I will not harm you!"

In that generation, many children cried when Nezha cut off their flesh and returned it to their mother, and dismantled their bones to return it to their father.

Why is this happening?

Because in the beatings and scoldings of our parents, in the education we receive from our parents, we have a mixture of love and hate for them.

And you were born to them, and they were kind to you, but they couldn't hate your parents, so all you wanted to do was give your body back to them, and we would owe nothing to each other from now on.

This is resistance to paternal authority, and it is also the strongest flame in the hearts of rebellious children.

At that time, the friends who were sitting in someone else's yard watching cartoons were all crying to death, but Qing Yun looked at them and smiled.

You still have parents who beat and scold you.

What about me?

That night, Qing Yun hid in bed alone, crying silently.

At that time, he was eager to find his biological parents. He made detailed plans for this and set off as soon as he could save enough money.

If nothing else, I just throw my report card in front of them and let them see how outstanding the child they abandoned back then is now.

However, when he saved enough money a year later, he didn't want to look for it anymore.

No need.

I don't know if it was a novel in school or a TV series in the mailroom that taught him a truth.

It is better to feed than to live.

In fact, if you look at it from another angle, his biological father and biological mother were just deliverymen, and they sent him to his grandfather who regarded him as his grandson and son.

After thinking about everything, he threw the clues left by his parents into the firewood and burned them to ashes.

At that time, Qing Yun's mentality was peaceful and peaceful.

The county government agencies always come to organize veterans to go out and see things.

Grandpa always said that after serving as a soldier all his life, where has he never been?

I have been abroad before, and I didn’t need a passport at that time.

In his English, enlightenment is his grandfather, and his enlightenment book is a simple mimeographed book.

"You'er kills Lang Denu! You are surrounded now!

Don't act!

Shout out! Hands up!

Egg-killing Delquakri! Surrender quickly!”

Qing Yun was asked by her grandfather to memorize this passage very well, saying that she would need it sooner or later.

After studying in the county junior high school for half a year, he laughed at his grandfather, saying that he no longer had to fight and memorize those things.

Grandpa didn't listen, and always said that imperialism was determined to destroy me.

As a descendant of the Qing family, he must be prepared to go to the battlefield.

At that time, Qing Yun, who had seen the world in the county town, didn't know whether to laugh or cry.

His only idea is to rely on his grades to get into a good university, get ahead, travel around the world with this stubborn grandfather, and tell him that the world is at peace.

Later, he was admitted to Jincheng No. 4 Middle School.

People in the village didn't know how good Jincheng No. 4 Middle School was, but they knew it was a key high school in the provincial capital.

Uncle De, who sent Qing Yun to take the exam for foreign students, came back and said that he heard that entering this high school means entering a key university.

At that time, the village was in a state of excitement, and Grandpa was laughing from ear to ear.

The villagers even believed that a high-ranking official was about to appear in Qingjiagou Huanglian Village.

Because a high school student in the village became a township cadre.

Will these future college students from key universities become provincial cadres when they graduate?

At that time, there were no college student village officials.

The 80-year-old village chief opened an ancestral hall and appealed to his ancestors that there would be a successor to the Qing family.

That's right, he is a member of Qing's family.

That 300-year-old son left Sichuan to go to the national disaster, and only 7 members of Qing's family came back.

Later, his grandfather died and he became an orphan again.

Emmm...not considered an orphan.

I have one more god sister.

Thinking of this, Qing Yun laughed, it was this god-sister who always wanted to be his mother-in-law.

However, at that time, he actually didn't have much feelings for Tang Qianying.

In other words, at that time, the girl named Qin Manman was full of problems in his heart.

Grandpa left. Fortunately, he was 17 years old and no longer had to go to the orphanage. The whole village, young and old, told the Civil Affairs Bureau that they had taken care of the child.

However, the township cadre Qing Yue, a high school student who left the village, said that the original adoption procedure was illegal and Qing Yun was a fraudster.

Qing Yue was worthy of being a high school student of that era, and he directly grabbed Qing Yun's fate as soon as he made a move.

The household registration system has been the core system of the country for thousands of years.

No matter how good Jincheng No. 4 Middle School is, under this system, they cannot intervene.

When reading other people's stories, people will always believe more in the darkness, but when it happens to themselves, they will believe in the light.

If there are so many things that are above the system, where did they get the keyboard?

There is no saying that the principal of a key middle school can suppress everything.

In a system that has absorbed more than 90% of China's elites, there are two different systems and two different divisions. It would be too anti-intellectual to buy into it.

Therefore, Qing Yun can only go to court. This is a reasonable plot.

Qing Yun has lived for 17 years, and for the first time he knows that he has no identity at all in this world.

In fact, the black account can be used again, it is not a big deal.

However, the student registration that matches the household registration one-to-one cannot be preserved.

Although it does not affect Qingyun's college entrance examination, he can no longer go to public high schools, and all the preferential treatment he has enjoyed before will be cancelled.

Because all of this is based on Grandpa Qingyun’s status as a special meritorious official.

Now that there is no connection between the two, it is naturally invalid.

Everything is dead end.

Fortunately, in this world, there are still "people superior to people".

With the action of the Jincheng No. 4 Middle School Alumni Association, especially Qin Tianchuan, the whole incident came back to life.

Jincheng No. 4 Middle School is a strong liberal arts school, which means that its students are numerous in the judicial and legal fields.

A team of senior lawyers, which can be called a luxurious team, took action, and the judge who hammered the hammer was also a little trembling.

Although everything was developing in a good direction, and although Qing Yun finally maintained his identity in this world, he was confused at that time.

grandfather……

The world is really big.

grandfather……

This world feels really strange after you left.

He had no enmity with the township cadre, so why did he attack him so viciously?

In fact, in terms of blood relationship, after his grandfather passed away, Qing Yue was his closest relative, and he even called him uncle.

He still remembered that it was Qing Yue who taught him how to write.

"Both horizontally and vertically are the bones of character, but those who hold back and fly are blood!"

Every high school student of that era was at least 211.

Qing Yue's words have always been remembered by Qing Yun.

Therefore, he is particularly paranoid about practicing calligraphy.

In order to save paper, he actually used branches to practice his strokes and brushwork on loose loess.

Therefore, he developed the habit of writing without regrets. There is no such luxury as a draft.

In his previous life, agreeing to be Qin Manman's contractual boyfriend was the starting point for his downfall in the next 20 years.

He rose from a high-rise building and reached the position of vice president of Hopu Group in just 4 years.

His building collapsed, and statistically those who graduated from college were waiting for employment.

He took the postgraduate entrance exams, he took the Ph.D. exams, he stayed in school, and he taught.

In fact, he still can't tell whether it was the bad taste of Qin Tianchuan's "human master" at that time.

Because I am too small.

He didn't believe that Qin Tianchuan couldn't see his talent in business, but Qin Tianchuan just didn't give him any chance.

Comprehensive suppression without blind spots.

No matter which industry he is in, his resume cannot pass the test.

The Qin family is too big.

Even if I open a noodle shop, I won’t be able to keep it going.

You can only surrender and admit defeat.

Combining Qin Manman's words in this life, he finally understood that in his previous life, he was plotted by the two fathers and daughters and became her backup.

A backup tire for the motherland’s scientific undertakings.

It sounds quite noble.

As a man, it is too frustrating.

Qin Manman in his previous life never even gave him a chance to be on top.

Blame him?

If she hadn't been scheming and scheming in her senior year of high school, would the two of them be like this?

How many people in this world can have her 'Qin Zhao' scheme?

But Tang Qianying went even further.

He kept saying something like 'Bai Yueguang' and 'I don't want to lose, let alone him losing'...

If you have the ability, don't run away with the ball!

To put it bluntly, I just want to make a cinnabar mole!

As for Qin Tianchuan, he is a good entrepreneur, serving the country and the people, and a good father. His daughter Qin Manman is loved endlessly...

But why should he decide his own destiny?

Qing Yun's breathing became heavy and he closed his eyes.

Angry and frustrated emotions were suppressed, lingering, and colliding in his chest, and even his body started to tremble.

He mentally reviewed the 38 years of his previous life, just like Nezha was reviewing his life through the playback function of Babel Pig.

Review is when we look back at the early state of an event.

At this time, we will find some different perspectives and see that the so-called truth is the result of each choice and action.

Backtracking is a three-step process:

First: discover yourself

Second: Accept yourself

Third: Be aware of all things

When work becomes more and more confusing and a sense of powerlessness arises, it is time to seriously look back on the past.

Start looking back from when you have memories to get to know yourself again. What are you most interested in?

What is done most may be an action.

We can think carefully, why were we so interested in that event at that time, and why were we so happy after doing it?

That is your true original intention.

When we finally get to know ourselves, we must begin to accept ourselves. The most authentic self does not really need any lofty goals, but it is the true original intention of ourselves.

What is Qing Yun’s original intention?

In other words, what is his original intention in this life?

It's very simple, people are better than others.

At this time, we have reached the third step of backtracking, which is the step closest to the present.

Awakening to all things.

What does it mean?

It is to combine our original intention with this complicated world.

Let the two have a sense of unity. Only by reaching agreement with the world, the feeling of powerlessness will basically disappear.

Still like the devil boy Nezha, he likes to attack as soon as he is born.

Attacking everything, this is the real Nezha.

But for a long time, he couldn't accept himself, so he always gave up on himself.

It was not until later that he learned that he was actually transformed by the magic pill, and he completely accepted his attack-loving self and began to display great destructive power.

Only when you accept it can you then awaken and be aware of all things.

What's the meaning?

When he saw the truth that his father was willing to sacrifice his life for himself, he had a certain consciousness;

When he saw that the villagers were about to be killed, he had some consciousness again.

That’s why I said that sentence: My destiny is up to me, not God.

Only then did I begin to fight against those feelings of powerlessness that had been lingering in my mind.

No one is perfect, but everyone is complete, and everyone has both good and evil sides.

When we discover the truth of a higher dimension, beyond good and evil, and what kind of life we ​​want to live, we suddenly have many more choices.

Only by knowing who you are can you better accept yourself and be aware of all things.

The corners of Qing Yun's mouth turned up.

My destiny is up to me...

My destiny is up to me and not up to God.

My destiny is up to me!

He opened his eyes suddenly and stood up.

The blockage in his chest was gone, turning into overwhelming fighting spirit.

Yes, very fighting spirit.

Wine, flowers, applause, beauties.

In this life, fight for this.

Pick up the pen.

Dip in ink.

Swish.

Just.
Chapter completed!