But I finally held back and couldn't interrupt him. I wanted to hear what he had to say! I want to know, I want to let the mother of Izumiya know too!

"I was young and frivolous at the time. Although I felt guilty about the woman I didn't love, I didn't have much trouble! I thought that as long as I gave her enough money to have a comfortable life, I could do this and I did it too. I think this is also a compensation for her! But I didn't expect that I had sent her countless remittance slips but she never refused to accept them, and all of them were returned to me..."

"At first I thought she was angry with me, so I didn't give up sending money to her. On the contrary, I sent her more money to her, which was enough to allow her and her children to live a life of food and clothing, but she still hadn't received a single payment..."

"My remittance behavior has lasted for more than ten years. I thought that as the child grows up, her life will become more and more difficult. She will eventually accept my help, but I was wrong again. She never... until I finally gave up!"

"As time goes by, my daughter grows up, I gradually realize that her rejection of me is actually a silent accusation of me... I understand how deeply I hurt her!"

"It's been decades! As I get older, I feel more and more guilty, and I know more and more that I did something outrageously wrong..."

I listened quietly, and then I realized that he had done such a thing, but my mother never told me about this until her death!

I know why my mother is so decisive. Although she is not educated and can’t read a few words; although she can’t tell any gorgeous truths, her personality is noble. She would rather suffer all her grievances than bow her head to accept the gifts of the unfaithful person! Because she knew that once she accepted it, it undoubtedly showed that she had tolerance and compromise on what the man did, which was something she could not accept, even though she was so poor that she didn’t even have money to buy medicine when she was sick...

"I have dreamed of going back to my hometown over the years. I want to go back to see her and see my children. He was only one year old when I left..." He looked painful.

"But I dare not, I don't have the courage, I don't know how to face them..."

"My child should be as old as you now. My father has not fulfilled his responsibilities as a father. I really want to know what kind of life they are living now..." His voice trembled violently, as if he couldn't continue to say anything.

I could no longer help it. I really wanted to tell him loudly that his original wife had been dead for many years. His son was sitting directly opposite him with wounds. I wanted him to know what evil he had committed. I wanted him to know that no matter how he saved him, he could not redeem his sins. It was impossible for a single minute...

I finally endured this in my heart! I couldn't let him know that I couldn't give him a chance to atone for sins. All this was what he should bear. I wanted him to bear this guilt until the moment he died.

"Have you ever regretted it?" I asked in a cold tone and a trembling voice. But he was in an extremely fragile mood and did not notice the change in my tone.

"Over the years, I have been in extreme regret all the time. Although I have achieved success and a happy family, I know that I do not deserve these happiness at all."

I just felt that some emotion rushed straight into my heart, as if it was angry, excitement and sadness, and some unspeakable emotion made my eyes quickly filled with tears.

I could no longer sit still. When tears were about to flow out of my eyes, I hurriedly got up, said sorry, turned around and rushed into the bathroom!

I rushed in and washed my hands

During the while, I supported myself on the sink and looked at myself in the mirror, tears fell down.

"Mother! Did you hear it? He regretted it, and he regretted the man named Wei Jianguo!" I said to my mother silently in my heart. "Mother, you can rest in peace!"

I took a handful of cold water and washed my face hard. The blood in my body seemed to be boiling, surging...

I stood in the bathroom for a long time, trying to calm my emotions, and then walked out of the bathroom.

He was still sitting there, his eyes staring blankly outside the window without moving.

I didn't walk over again. I had found him, and the answer I wanted had been found. I finally had an explanation for my mother.

I walked to the cashier, paid two cups of coffee, then took off the pendant around my neck, placed it on the counter and told the cashier to give him the pendant when Wei Jianguo left.

The moment I took off the pendant, I suddenly felt that some kind of shackle was quietly released. This thing that had suppressed me for decades can finally be removed! I have returned the only thing he gave me to him, and it has been considered a silence. My life only belongs to my mother from now on, and has nothing to do with him!

I looked back at him at the end and left the cafe resolutely. He was still sitting there, his eyes still frozen outside the window. Since he started talking, he didn't seem to move!

At that moment, I vaguely felt that he was also pitiful. Over the years, he was tortured by his conscience all the time, and was always in regret. Even this secret cannot be said of his favorite wife and daughter. What kind of pain is this!

But there are some mistakes in this world that can be saved, and once some things are done wrong, there is no chance of making up for them. Punishment must be carried to the end, without a trace of reconciliation!

Forgive me, I can't call you father, I can't forgive you. Since my mother didn't tell me to forgive you when she was dying, I must not give up my resentment towards you. My mother's soul is still watching from the sky, and I can't chill her heart...

I took the train to the easternmost part of my motherland and felt extremely tired. When the train just started, I leaned against the window and fell asleep.

I even had a dream, dreaming that I was standing on an isolated mountain with cliffs on all sides. I shouted loudly, and all I heard was my own echo.

I looked around in despair, and suddenly I saw Annie, I saw Wei Lai, I saw Mu Xichun, I saw Dabin and General Wei! They smiled at me, and then they turned around, and they gradually left.

I called each of them the names of each of them loudly, but they seemed to not hear me. I watched their figures and disappeared one by one before my eyes...

I felt a lot of despair. I seemed to be the only one left in the whole world. I suddenly felt disappointed. I slowly walked to the edge of the cliff and jumped down!

I suddenly woke up and was sweating in cold sweat! It was late at night, and the passengers in the car were already asleep. Only the collision sounds of the train wheels and rails still echoed in my ears, tirelessly...

I looked around the people who were sleeping soundly, and my heart was filled with sadness. Even in this case, they could sleep so peacefully. It seemed that everyone had his destination. With a destination, there was nothing to worry about! It seemed that I was the only one who fled from a place he had been in a short stay and went to an unknown place...

A dozen hours journey, almost half my life, the train

Finally, I stopped at a small station, and when I arrived, there were very few people in the carriage left!

I looked around in a daze, as if this place was as cold as the town where I was leaving, and the wind here was particularly harsh, which made me shudder involuntarily!

I followed the people out of the station, standing by the roadside, hesitating and wondering where to go. I suddenly remembered the old monk's words: Go to the east, there is a sea there, and you will find a new life!

I don’t know what the old monk refers to when he was talking about, but I think I should go to the beach to take a look.

So I asked a sanitation worker how to go to the beach. He patiently pointed me the direction and told me which car to take and where to get off!

According to him, it is already very close to the beach. You only need to take a 40-minute shuttle bus to get to the beach directly.

I followed his guidance and got off at a place called Zhuwang Town, and then carried a travel bag along the only road leading to the east. According to the sanitation worker, the beach was the one that went further.

The town is very dilapidated, with unplanned houses appearing a bit messy and old, and the roads on the streets have become bumpy due to disrepair, looking like festering scars everywhere.

The road at the entrance of some houses was probably frozen into ice and condensed on the road because of the water splashed. If you walk on it, you will be at risk of slipping at any time.

I can probably guess this scene. This place should be another place that has been forgotten by the society and economy. Perhaps because the location is too remote and it is really difficult to affect the political landscape of the local government, it is naturally forgotten.

I ate some food at a food stall and asked the store about the direction. I learned that the beach was not far ahead, so I continued walking east with my travel bag.

When the store owner learned that I was going to walk to the beach, he kindly called me. He told me that it would take a long time to walk. He kindly helped me contact an elderly uncle next door and said that he could send me over, and I only had to pay him ten yuan for the car fare.

So I got on the uncle's motorcycle and went to the beach.

The uncle took me to a small village. He pointed at a direction with his fingers and said something to me in a local dialect that I couldn't understand. I could probably guess that he was telling me the direction of the sea.

This small village seems more dilapidated than the town just now. Although the village is large, the residents are extremely scattered. Most of them are the blue brick houses I saw when I was a child. The high raised chimneys made me feel a primitive desolation.

When I passed by the village, I had hardly seen anyone. I could only hear a few barking sounds of dogs coming from some courtyard. I think it was because the weather was too cold and no one was wandering around.

After walking through the village for a while, I knew that the sea was very close to me because I could already smell the fishy and salty smell in the air. Although I had never been to the sea, I thought, this was probably the smell of the sea.

Sure enough, I soon saw the sea. When it came into my eyes, my first feeling was an unparalleled vastness that rose from the depths of my heart, and my mood became wider.

The blue sea water was waving, showing me, a stranger in the afternoon sunshine! When the sea breeze blew, I could even feel the tingling feeling of the sharp wind passing through the textile gaps of my clothes and fabrics, like fine needles, making the wind become substantial!
Chapter completed!