I sat on a chair in the room, lit a cigarette and started smoking.

Sun Xiaoxiao also sat cross-legged on the bed, and she said to me: "How about you lie down on your stomach, and I will press it for you."

"Need not."

"Come on, everyone else wants it, so don't be reluctant."

"I just don't want to."

She curled her lips and said, "You are so boring. I don't even want to make you comfortable. You always feel like I'm going to eat you up."

"I don't want to, just be quiet for a while. I've been making trouble for so long and I'm tired."

"Are you hungry? Do you want to eat first?"

I shook my head and said, "Let's go later, I'm not very hungry yet."

"By the way," I suddenly remembered the Durex in her bag, and then asked her, "Did you really buy that condom?"

Sun Xiaojie then replied with a smile: "How is it possible? It was given as a gift when booking a room. How could I buy this thing?"

“Do you get this as a gift when booking a room?”

Sun Xiaojie shrugged and said, "Isn't this normal? What's the fuss about?"

I smiled bitterly and said, "I really thought you were going to buy it."

"Are you so afraid? I don't worry about a woman, so what are you afraid of?"

I shook my head speechlessly, and Sun Xiaojie gave me another room card and said, "Forget it, I won't tease you anymore, I know you keep your integrity."

"I'm not trying to keep myself clean. I'm just afraid that I'll forget it and stop talking about it."

"Why don't you say it? Just say it."

"Sun Xiaoxiao, please be more serious. We can't be too ambiguous. It's not good."

"I don't even think there is anything. I don't know what you are afraid of."

I looked at her, hesitated to speak, and finally said nothing.

After getting the room card, I went back to my room.

Lying on the soft bed, I fell into deep thought.

From the time Sun Xiaojie and I came to Beijing to the fight just now, I felt really relaxed during the whole process, and I haven't been so happy for a long time.

Sun Xiaoxiao is indeed the first person who made me so happy after An Lan left. She has a great sense of fun and can make me feel happy.

But it's impossible for me to be with her. First of all, I had a failed marriage. Secondly, I lost the woman I loved most. I don't guarantee that I can treat her with such care in the future.

And Sun Xiaojie is a very clean woman, no matter how careless she is all day long, I have never heard of any scandals about her.

And she is so many years younger than me, I am not good enough for her.

Even if I have to find one, I will find a woman who has similar experiences to me. She is also divorced and I don't mind having children.

I don't expect any emotion at all in such a marriage, just two people spending the rest of their lives together.

After staying quietly in the room for a while, Sun Xiaojie sent me a message and said, "I'll take you to visit Beijing. Do you want to go to Tiananmen?"

"Now?"

"Well, it's still early anyway. The appointment with them is at seven o'clock in the evening."

I thought about it and replied: "Okay, I'll wash my face and come out."

After a little preparation, Sun Xiaojie and I left the hotel. We called a car and took us around Beijing.

It has been almost ten years since the last time we came to Beijing, and the changes have been huge. We passed by the Bird's Nest, the Water Cube, and Tiananmen Square.

Feeling the prosperity of this city also makes me glad that I was born in China.

Sun Xiaoxiao seemed to be very familiar with Beijing. She introduced me all the way like a tour guide and said that if time was not limited, she would take me out of the car to go shopping.

Sun Xiaojie studied in university here, so she is naturally very familiar with Beijing, and I can also see that she has great affection for this place.

At ten o'clock in the evening, I went to a cemetery with her to visit her master.

That was the first time I saw Sun Xiaoxiao looking so calm and serious. She knelt in front of the tombstone and told her master about her experiences over the years.

As she spoke, her eyes turned red.

There was light snow falling in the cemetery, and the snowflakes fell on her shoulders one by one, gradually accumulating more and more.

I reached out to help her brush off the snowflakes on her body and said to her, "Stop kneeling all the time. The ground is quite cold."

"It's okay, you don't have to worry about me."

I knew that feeling, so I stopped trying to persuade her.

At this time, I thought of An Lan again. I even wanted to pay homage to her, but I didn’t know where to go.

Because An Lan doesn't even have a tombstone, her body has not been found until now.

Even so, I have always believed that she is still alive. I don't want to erect a fake tombstone for her, even if it is to leave some thoughts for myself.

I don't know how long it took before Sun Xiaoxiao stood up from the ground.

She patted the snow on her body, looked at the tombstone with tenderness, and said: "Master, I have to leave, but if I can successfully join the group today, I may spend a lot of time in Beijing in the future, and I will come often.

It’s up to you.”

After saying that, she bowed three more times to the tombstone, then turned to me and said, "Let's go."

After passing through one cemetery path after another, we left the cemetery.

Sun Xiaojie seemed to be in a heavy mood. I didn't take the initiative to talk to her. I should let her calm down for a while.

We stood side by side on the road outside the cemetery, waiting for a taxi. Sun Xiaojie was still a little confused. She looked up at the falling snowflakes from the sky, and stretched out her hand to catch the falling snowflakes.

Suddenly I hummed a line of lyrics: "The snow pieces piece by piece spell out the fate of you and me. My love was born because of you. Your hands touch out my heartache. The snow pieces piece by piece are quietly colorful in the sky.

, seeing that spring is coming, and I will, will no longer survive.”

This seems to be the first time I heard her sing. It turns out that she sings so beautifully and her voice is the best among all the people I have ever seen.

After she stopped, I clapped my hands and said, "You sang well! This song is so suitable for the occasion. What's its name?"

"You haven't heard of Fan Xiaoxuan's Snowman, have you?"

"It's a bit familiar, I forgot the title of the song."

When the car came, I waved my hand to get out of the car.

It was much warmer after sitting in the car. Sun Xiaojie told the driver a place, which was the theater where the stage play crew was located.

"I didn't expect you to sing pretty well. Why haven't I heard you sing before?" I said to Sun Xiaoxiao.

Her condition recovered a bit, she smiled and said, "Why sing when you have nothing to do? I don't like singing very much."

"It's really a waste of your good voice."

"I like listening to music, but I don't like singing. Is there any problem?"

"No problem, I just think you sing well and should sing more."

"You want to hear me sing?"

"Um."

"Okay, I will sing it slowly to you when I have the chance to make you tired."

I smiled and saw that she was back to her normal self, which made me feel better.

Only then did I understand why she had been hoping that my depression would get better some time ago, and even wanted me to live with her.
Chapter completed!