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"They're all idiots!"

"Quan Te's mother is an idiot...a stupid idiot who is extremely stupid...Fortunately, she is not my son, otherwise I would have been pissed to death by them!"

Yuncha Ridge, the core area, the Holy Peak of Chatian.

The mountain is majestic, like a black steel gun, piercing into the sky. The mountain is nearly a million miles high, and the mountains on all sides are like shavings. Occasionally, the mountain is dotted with a few powerful ancient pines and the bold and fat eagle.

Eagles and the like build their nests on the branches of trees. Occasionally, an eagle cry will startle the surrounding area into silence, and all birds and beasts will be silent.

Directly east of the Tianfeng Peak, on the smooth and clean cliff as if cut by a knife, some powerful person wrote a very bright cinnabar-red word "stamp" in a huge font!

This word "poke" is written with extremely powerful strokes. To put it nicely, it sounds like a flying dragon or a phoenix. To put it harshly, it sounds like a chicken claw convulsing... From the top of the mountain to the foot of the mountain, there is a big Chinese character that is a million miles long.

He was domineering and fierce, like a spear piercing the sky from the foot of the mountain.

At the top of the word "Zha", close to the top of the Tianfeng Peak, there is a flat dam hanging high in the clouds. On the flat dam with an area of ​​more than 100 acres, there are ancient pines, strange orchids, two waterfalls, and a small spring.

At the end of Pingba, there is a neatly decorated round arch cave entrance. On the cliffs on both sides, there are carved Buddhist reliefs such as goddesses presenting flowers, Bodhisattvas preaching, Buddha lying on his side, and Arhats shaking their fists.

Early in the morning, accompanied by the constant curses of "idiot", the owner of Yunchaling, the supreme leader in the hearts of trillions of demons and monsters, Lao Hei, known as the Big Bear Lord, scratched his forehead and shook his big belly "chirping".

He slowly walked out of the cave.

He walked all the way to the edge of Pingba, overlooked the sea of ​​clouds from a high position, squinted at the half of the red sun looming on the edge of the sea of ​​clouds to the east, casually pulled off his belt, revealing an extremely majestic object, and blew the sound

whistle.

"Chiliu", a yellow hot spring spurts out dozens of miles away, like a cloud-piercing arrow, piercing through the dense clouds along the way, turning into a drizzle with a peculiar smell, slowly flowing along

The mountain wind blows downward.

Thin mist filled the air, and the red sun that had just peeked out of its face shone on the mist, suddenly spreading out several circles of small rainbows.

His body shivered, and then shivered again. Lao Hei muttered a few times, scratched the fat flesh on his belly, took out two cowardly lice, and pinched them to death with a "click" sound: "Fat water"

Don’t leave it to outsiders! This little thing is fattened by your own essence and blood!”

He stuffed the two crushed lice into his mouth, chewed them twice, and swallowed them.

Several voluptuous vixens twisted their water snake waists and came up to him laughing and joking, picked up buckets, drank water from the spring on the flat dam, and poured it on Lao Hei's body.

Lao Hei opened his arms and allowed a few vixens to wet his hair. Then he applied the finest balm imported from outside the mountains and kneaded it into thick, fine white foam.

After such a tossing, buckets of clean water were poured down, washing the hair all over his body. Several vixens used fine combs to comb Lao Hei's hair, and then smeared the long black hair with the best sesame oil, and used it to comb his hair.

The black hair, which is more than two feet long, is so shiny that it looks like a mirror.

A huge standing mirror was moved over by a few little demons and placed next to Lao Hei.

Lao Hei looked at his own figure in the big mirror for a while and nodded with satisfaction: "Well, Buddhist disciples should be dignified. Those sloppy monks are not serious and good monks... Although I am not a serious monk.

"Buddhist disciples, you can dress up neatly, but you should be cleaner...otherwise, if you go to the front mountain to beg for a few fragrant cakes and fruits to eat, you will be croaked!"

A few little vixens brought a complete set of armor, shirts, belts, etc.

Put on a scarlet brocade embroidered with hundreds of flowers, a thick Suan Ni Swallowing Barbarian King Armor, a large belt with a Taotie Mouth beast pattern, a blood-colored flame-patterned cape, and heavy horns.

He wore a gilt helmet, hung a large serrated bone-cutting machete on his left waist, hung a door-panel-breaking two-handed heavy sword on his right waist, and conveniently took over a six-handed sword carried by a few little demons.

A four-foot ventilated steel gun.

Lao Hei raised his spear, stamped his feet vigorously, and shouted "Wow, wow, wow" towards the red sun that had risen three poles high in the sky.

"The great master of Yunchaling Mountain, the handsome black-faced man Lao Hei is here... Among all the men in heaven, who dares to fight me?"

The red sun is silent. The sky is silent. The flowing clouds are silent.

Lao Hei waved his spear, rolled up thousands of miles, and swept away the thick clouds around Tiantian Peak. He pushed his crotch forward hard, and yelled "Wow, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah!"

, I am having sex with your own mother!" Liu Yun was silent.

The sky is silent. The red sun is silent.

Lao Hei was silent for a long time, then dropped his spear, took off the big scimitar and heavy sword hanging on his belt, took off his heavy belt and armor, took off his cloak, threw down the mighty gilded helmet on his head, and clasped his hands behind his back, like a

The frail old man walked step by step towards the cave at the end of Pingba with his waist bent.

As he walked, he casually unbuttoned the red brocade hundred-flower jersey, revealing his shiny black hair.

"Come down and start dinner!" Lao Hei muttered: "Send a message to that old guy in Hanhai. Let's fight and teach him a lesson. Don't really piss off the Taichu kid. He really does his best.

Hit us at Yunchaling..."

"I'm not afraid, but the men under my command are all born and raised by their parents...there are too many casualties, which undermines the original intention of my Buddhist compassion!"

"It's okay. Don't fight or kill them. Why bother? Why bother?"

"Take it easy and take it easy..." Lao Hei walked slowly into his cave with heavy steps.

The furnishings in the huge cave are quite simple, and can even be said to be a bit shabby. The cave is extremely bright and spacious, and the cave walls are made of a material between stalactites and jade, crystal clear and translucent, with a

The bright light is shining, no lamp beads are needed, and every detail is naturally visible.

On the cave wall, huge Buddhist niches are neatly carved, which contain statues of the graceful Buddha, Bodhisattva, King of Heaven, and Arhat. Next to each statue, there is a nameplate with small writing on it.

Learn about the life story of these statues.

For example, who was the abbot of Landa Ancient Temple, "so-and-so divine monk", what year he was born, what year he died, what great achievements he did in his life, etc...

In front of these statues, there are incense burners, flowers, melons and fruits, plain wine, and all kinds of offerings. Lao Hei walked slowly past these Buddhist niches.

Along the way, there were many smart little white apes dressed as novice monks. They were busy adding incense to the statues in the Buddhist niches and replacing various offerings. When they saw Lao Hei walking by, these little white apes hurriedly clasped their hands together in a pattern.

He bowed to Lao Hei in a manner and recited the Buddha's name and mantra.

Lao Hei walked slowly to the depths of the cave and came to a huge stone hall that could accommodate tens of thousands of people for a banquet.

He sat calmly behind a huge stone table, and a group of little vixens brought him water, wild fruits, steamed buns, homemade pickles and other items.

As the leader of Yuncha Ridge, he has trillions of powerful demons under his command. But Lao Hei's breakfast is extremely light.

Putting his hands together and muttering a few verses in a low voice, Lao Hei began to enjoy the meals slowly. He was three feet tall, with big shoulders and a round waist, and was full of fat, but his appetite was very bad. With such a big body, he just drank.

After a few bowls of water, a dozen mountain apples and pears, a dozen steamed buns with multi-grain noodles, a bucket of millet porridge, and three plates of pickles, he waved his hand and asked for the meal.

Withdrew.

"Bring the account book!" Lao Hei muttered.

A vixen who was born enchanting, with ninety percent beauty and charm, like a ripe wild peony, with an alluring look, quietly walked up and handed over a thick, specially made book with length and width.

A large account book measuring about one foot was slapped in front of Lao Hei with a bang.

Lao Hei's thick fingers were stained with saliva at the corner of his mouth, and he opened the huge account book with some difficulty, frowning and looking at the rows of delicate small words on it.

"Hey, King Black Wind is stupid."

"Heiyun baby is also stupid."

"Fortunately, fortunately, they are not my biological children, they are all godsons, godsons..." Lao Hei muttered: "Otherwise, I will be pissed to death by them, pissed to death by them...

·····Not biological, not biological…I am a Buddhist disciple who abides by the precepts, and there is no such thing as a biological son!”

"Hey!" Looking at the dense handwriting on the account book, Lao Hei sighed sadly: "I have never been a reader since I was a child. Looking at these things gives me a headache...Hey, what a loss.

Younger?"

The vixen who threw down the account book rolled his eyes at Lao Hei and started complaining. "I said, Your Majesty, you are just looking for trouble for yourself!"

"Heiyun Lord won the battle...ahem." The vixen rolled his eyes as hard as he could: "Although, this record is a bit watered down, but the bunch of scoundrels in the heaven did not take advantage. They said they were fighting.

It makes sense to win a big victory."

"King Heifeng is a brainless fool, you know. He has always been following Lord Heiyun to flatter him, and he has done such things not once or twice... Well, in his territory of Heifeng Ridge,

He wants to celebrate Mr. Heiyun...

Lao Hei snorted coldly: "Of course you can celebrate, but you have to pay!"

"For those who open restaurants and restaurants, isn't their capital money? Let the young people go directly to other people's shops and use other people's drinks and food at will without paying them?"

"Do it once or twice, do it three times or four times..." Lao Hei muttered: "It's a bad rule." The vixen sighed: "Then, you can only pay for it yourself like in previous years.

Subsidy..."

Lao Hei scratched his scalp hard, and sighed in distress: "Fortunately, it's not his biological son, otherwise... you said, you said, if you take other people's things, use other people's things, you have to do it."

How many times have I taught them how to give money...how many times have I taught them? I’ve beaten them, scolded them, but how come they just don’t remember it every time?”

"The beating was not hard enough?" Lao Hei looked at the vixen with wandering eyes: "How about this time, I find an excuse to beat King Black Wind again?"

The vixen blinked: "How about beating him to death?"

Lao Hei rolled his eyes: "Beat him to death, it won't be... It won't be... It's not a big mistake. It's just letting the kids eat and drink for free. Although it's wrong, it won't be beaten.

Damn... Hey, hey, these rough-skinned and thick-bodied bastards, if you don’t beat them to death at once, they won’t remember anything at all!”

Waving his hand, Lao Hei said leisurely: "Let's do it the old way. Send your tribesmen to be more sophisticated and shrewd. Those unlucky ghosts who opened the shop were consumed by a lot of wine and meat, and they were secretly supplied behind the scenes."

"After the young ones have had fun and are satisfied, we still need to take care of the leaders of these tough guys. We can't really beat them to death, but we will beat them half to death."

"Yunchaling, you still have to follow the rules."

The vixen was silent for a while, then carefully approached Lao Hei: "But, Your Majesty, what happened this time was because of Taichu's nephew... that Yuan Jia...

Lao Hei looked at the vixen in surprise: "What do you want to say? What are the benefits of him? Should we reach out?"

Smiling calmly, Old Black poked the vixen gently with his finger, and directly poked a goose egg-sized fleshy lump on her forehead. The pain made the vixen burst into tears and rolled her eyes crazily at him.

"Thank you for being so smart on weekdays!" Lao Hei said calmly: "Ignore him and just let nature take its course?"

After a slight pause, Lao Hei said softly: "Everyone has arrived on their own territory. It's not us who should be anxious, but them!"
To be continued...