It can even be said that it is just some wonderful definitions of certain things by some so-called thoughtful people.
These things can be beautiful, ugly, sensational, or products of an era...
There is nothing wrong with studying art.
But there are a thousand Hamlets in a thousand readers. Every director has different ideas about movies and the "art" they pursue. If you want to integrate all their ideas and use them for your own use, it is easy to go wrong.
He becomes possessed and eventually loses himself, even to the point where he becomes at a loss in front of the camera.
Night falls.
In the room, An Xiao put the stove in place and gently lit a stick of incense.
Under the light, Zhou Yang saw the smoke slowly rising up, exuding a strange aroma. He took a deep breath, and then felt refreshing. As if in an instant, the uneasiness and messy thoughts in his heart disappeared one by one, and the whole person began to become very calm.
.
"you are too tired."
Zhou Yang has heard similar comments countless times recently.
But I have never felt as warm as now.
"Actually it's not bad..."
Zhou Yang grinned and wanted to smile, but suddenly found that he didn't seem to be able to laugh very well, and his heart was inexplicably filled with mixed emotions.
He only felt that An Xiao was extraordinarily beautiful today, especially An Xiao who was shrouded in lights and had a pretty face that was calm but not cold. There was a sense of longing that he could not suppress.
"Humans are not machines. If you are really tired, just take a good rest. Many things are actually not a big deal."
An Xiao looked at Zhou Yang with some indescribable feelings in her heart.
Zhou Yang was very haggard. When she opened the door and saw Zhou Yang, she felt strange at first. She couldn't believe that the dazed and exhausted young man in front of her was actually Zhou Yang.
Later, when she entered the house and saw the messy room, she was shocked for the first time.
In her impression, Zhou Yang's room was always neat and clean, but it was not as messy as it is now, with manuscripts and books everywhere.
His whole person began to look different from before, even worse than when An Xiao first met Zhou Yang.
Although he was in poverty at that time, at least his eyes always exuded the light of hope, and his vigorous vitality and unyielding temperament were very contagious.
And now Zhou Yang...
He seems very depressed, although not decadent, but his whole body is full of gloom. He still seems paranoid, but has lost the vitality he should have had.
After being stunned, An Xiao suddenly felt unspeakably uncomfortable.
She suddenly thought of these years starting from "Mineral Bottom", right? Or maybe it should be said that since his father became ill, he seemed to have never rested and been working hard to live?
The evening wind blew slightly, blowing Zhou Yang's messy hair, and the dark circles under his eyes began to become more obvious under the light.
"Yeah...I know." Zhou Yang nodded, but he couldn't hold back a fart for a long time.
"How long has it been since you had a good sleep?" An Xiao looked at Zhou Yang and sighed in her heart.
Some people only see Zhou Yang's talented and much-anticipated side.
But she watched Zhou Yang walk all the way from "Under the Mine" and walk through a series of narrow roads full of hardships and thorns.
Behind success, there is no telling how much despair and sweat there is, let alone how many days and nights that ordinary people cannot endure.
"it's been a while."
The incense rose up and filled the air around Zhou Yang in an instant. Zhou Yang yawned and became extremely sleepy.
An Xiao looked at Zhou Yang's appearance, then looked at the incense, with a smile on his face: "Incense can soothe the mind and help you sleep. You should have a good rest..."
After standing up, An Xiao came to the table and gently stirred the incense to make the flavor of the incense more even, and gently told Zhou Yang how to use the incense.
But he didn't get any response from Zhou Yang for a long time.
Later, when she turned around, she saw Zhou Yang sitting motionless, and he had fallen asleep.
She was stunned.
Looking at Zhou Yang's sleeping state, I don't think he is ugly, but rather he feels a little innocent and cute.
She came to Zhou Yang's side and gently flattened the recliner to make Zhou Yang sleep more comfortably.
At this time, she saw Zhou Yang moving his body slightly, scratching around as if he was a little frightened.
"It will get better, it will get better, everything will be fine..."
His voice was very soft, but An Xiao heard it very clearly. It seemed that he was not comforting others, but rather comforting himself.
"Dad, it's okay... I have a girlfriend. You take good care of your illness. When you get better, I will bring my girlfriend to see you..."
His hands were still scratching randomly. When he caught An Xiao, he subconsciously patted An Xiao's hand, as if he was constantly comforting her.
"Don't say anything depressing. The doctor said your condition has improved. It's not a life-threatening cancer, it's just an ordinary disease..."
"Beautiful, definitely very beautiful, more beautiful than the stars on TV..."
An Xiao's heart trembled slightly.
Especially after seeing the forced smile on Zhou Yang's face, she really wanted to hug this big boy.
"I'm rich now, really rich. We don't have to live through the hard days before..."
"The relatives left as soon as they left..."
"What are you saying to drag me down? You have never dragged me down...really!"
Zhou Yang's muttering voice gradually became softer.
The sounds behind him became softer and softer, and he seemed to be unable to hear them.
Incense has a calming effect.
But Zhou Yang seemed unable to calm down, and was still surrounded by fear and uneasiness. Although his voice was very soft, a trace of tears flowed from the slits of his eyes, as if he was immersed in something.
An Xiao gently patted the back of Zhou Yang's hand.
"It will get better, it will get better, everything will be fine..."
Her voice was so gentle that even she felt particularly surprised.
It seemed that her comfort had an effect. Zhou Yang's originally uneasy expression slowly began to relax, and then he let go of his hand and fell into a deep sleep like a baby.
"I will treat you well..."
"Mr. An."
Just when An Xiao stood up, An Xiao suddenly heard these words.
Immediately, the long eyelashes trembled slightly.
After a long time, she looked at Zhou Yang again.
After hesitating for a moment, she gently stroked Zhou Yang's messy hair and looked at Zhou Yang's face.
She suddenly laughed, and her smile was extremely gentle.
"good."
The bright moonlight shines through the window, crystal clear and clear.
……………………
Zhou Yang had a long, long dream.
I dreamed about my father in this world.
The father on the hospital bed looked pale and weak, a little guilty, and seemed to be desperate.
He was exceptionally determined on the bedside and still never gave up.
There may be miracles in this world, but miracles never seemed to favor him or take care of him.
Traveling all the way, all the hardships, finally turned into a handful of ashes.
In the dream, he began to feel at a loss. The road ahead was uncertain and he could go anywhere, but he seemed to be the only one in this world.
The color of the dream gradually began to turn gray, and there were passages of melody around it, and the melody was very sad.
"sorry Sorry……"
He heard the apology.
He just felt that this apology sound was very familiar. He looked around blankly, but he couldn't find where the apology sound came from.
Then...
The memory changed again and transformed into a scene.
In the scene, a young man who looked exactly like himself was hiding timidly in the darkness, facing stacks of textbooks full of despair.
The textbook seems to be high school content...
There were waves of curses in my ears.
"What the hell do you have?"
"How do you compare to others?"
"If you don't study hard, what can you do? With your current grades, can you get into a good university?"
"You can't pass all three exams, so you can only go to a junior college. And if you continue like this, no good junior college will want you!"
"Wake up, it's only a few days before the college entrance examination. With your results, what do you want to do? What can you do!"
"..."
The young man who looked exactly like him lowered his head and shed tears when he was scolded.
The scene changed again, and the young man even cut his wrist with a knife...
"What can I do!"
"I'm stupider than them all, why are you forcing me, why are you all forcing me...why..."
"What's wrong if I can't get into college? I can work part-time, but I can't study at all!"
"Who wants to be born in this family! If I had money, I could live as well as others, and I could also learn well..."
"He will never understand me. I have been looked down upon by others since I was a child. I have never even eaten a meal of KFC. I only have such a small amount of living expenses for a week. How can I have enough!"
"In my next life, I want to be reborn into a good child, and I will not be reborn into a family with such a tuberculosis person..."
"Go to hell, go to hell!"
"Trash! Trash that can't make any money!"
Zhou Yang saw the young man trying to cut his wrists.
Cursing.
Full of all kinds of resentment and negative emotions, every word seems to be blaming others.
Then, just as the knife was about to cut the blood vessels in his wrist, his whole body suddenly trembled, and then the whole world suddenly went black.
I don't know how much time passed, but Zhou Yang heard a series of apologetic voices in the darkness.
"sorry Sorry……"
"sorry……"
"I know I have to live well. I know I was wrong. I will live well in the future. If there is still a chance..."
In the darkness, the voice was full of crying, then became lighter and lighter.
"goodbye."
Eventually, it turned into a soft murmur.
With this murmur,
Zhou Yang felt that something in the darkness was slowly dissipating, eventually disappearing into nothingness.
silence.
A long moment of silence.
I don't know how long it took, but Zhou Yang opened his eyes in a daze.
He felt that he had had a long dream, and at the same time, he felt that his thoughts were extremely sharp, as if he was new to life.
He had a very comfortable sleep this time. It could even be said that this was the most comfortable sleep he had ever had since he came to this world.
He looked at his hand, and it felt very real. At the same time, his ears became more and more sensitive. He didn't know if it was an illusion. He could even hear sounds very far away, and his vision became extremely clear. The plants and trees outside the window
, floating clouds and sunshine, leaves floating faintly in the distance.
He withdrew his gaze.
Later, he discovered that the room that was supposed to be messy was now clean, and at the same time, there was a refreshing fragrance lingering in the air...
He sat up and saw a note beside the bed. The handwriting on the note was beautiful.