My name is Huang Jingyang. I was born on the fifth day of the fifth lunar month in 1992. I am the eldest son in my family.
I was born in a remote mountain village in the southwest. When I was born, my father was working outside. Before I was one year old, my mother also went to work with my father. After many years, children like me were called
Left-behind children.
In our rural area, if the first child is a girl, a second child is allowed. In my family, if the first child is a boy, the second child is not allowed. When I was a child, I was no different from other children. I just heard my grandparents say that I would
I tend to cry more. Crying doesn't seem to be a big problem. My grandma often said that I was supposed to be a girl, so I was born in the wrong child.
When I was five years old, I went to the mountains to herd cattle with my grandfather and picked up a round piece of metal from the mountains. From that day on, my life began to become a little weird.
The metal piece was very rusty. When I picked it up, I couldn't see the words and patterns on it clearly. After I got home, I rubbed off the rust on the outside and found that it was yellow on the inside. The pattern on it was very strange. I
As soon as I took a look, I felt like I was sucked in by the pattern. From that day on, I became different from other children.
"Oh, why has Yangyang become a little weird recently? He doesn't go out to play much." Grandma was the first to notice my abnormality.
"Maybe I miss my parents. They never come back all year round. After raising a son, I have to raise a grandson. In this world, alas!" Grandpa didn't care very much.
I seemed to be unable to hear any sound at all. The pattern on the metal piece moved in my eyes. I saw the endless sky; I saw the vast land; I saw the nine-day thunder; I saw the gentle breeze.
, or there was a strong wind; I saw majestic mountains and ridges; I saw rivers and lakes that were sometimes as calm as a mirror, and sometimes they were turbulent; I saw water turning into air, air condensing into water, and water solidifying into ice and snow; I saw raging fires.
…
All the sounds and pleasures in life have disappeared from my mind. I can't feel my grandma shaking my body anxiously, and I can't hear my grandpa calling my name anxiously.
My parents, who had not been home for months and months, hurried back and carried me around seeking medical treatment, but I still couldn't feel it.
No one knows what happened to me.
Someone in the village said that I was possessed by an evil spirit. My grandfather found that I was holding a piece of metal in my hand with some scary patterns on it, and wanted to snatch the piece of metal from my hand.
Although I knew nothing about the outside world, I only loved this piece of metal as if it were life. I cried loudly and hugged the piece of metal tightly.
Grandma couldn't bear to see me crying like that, so she didn't allow grandpa to take away the piece of metal that I valued as much as my life.
My parents took me to all the hospitals in the county and province. All the money I had earned over the years was turned into a bunch of useless tickets and bills, but I still didn’t wake up.
.Whether it is the county hospital or the provincial hospital, they all say that my body is normal, but there is something wrong with my brain.
This is not a disease at all, so how can the doctor make it clear?
My grandparents went around praying to gods and praying to Buddha, and found some yin and yang in the village to perform rituals for me. How could these pretenders be able to cure me? After half a year, the family’s savings were almost used up. My grandparents, parents, and mom were completely obsessed with me.
Heartbroken.
After harvesting the rice in June, the family sat on the sunbathing terrace to enjoy the cool air. I was still staring blankly at the metal piece in my hand.
"Let's have another one!" The dry tobacco stick in Grandpa's hand was sucked hard and the flames flickered in the night.
Grandma looked at me distressedly and kept crying: "My dear grandson, how did you become like this?"
Mom and dad didn't speak.
After finishing the double gun, my parents went south to work again. During the Spring Festival this year, they did not come back. The next year, they gave me a younger brother. They were worried about my bad influence, so they
I never brought my younger brother back. After my younger brother was born, my grandmother went there to take care of her. Only my grandfather and I were left at home.
Although I cannot respond to everything, I can see it all, but in my eyes, it is like a story on the screen. I am just a spectator. This feeling is very strange. But more often, my mind
I am still immersed in the pattern on that piece of metal. In the center of the metal piece is a pattern of yin and yang fish, which keeps spinning.
After grandma left, all the farm work at home fell on grandpa alone. In addition to doing farm work, grandpa also had to take care of me. It was easy for me to handle it. I could eat, drink, and sleep. I only needed to ask grandpa to defecate.
Just do it.
Because I became like that and it was too evil. No one in the village dared to let their children play with me. Even my own parents didn’t dare to let my younger brother meet me, let alone others?
When my grandfather went to work in the fields, he put me on the field ridge and put a small bench on it. I could sit on the field ridge for a long time. He held an umbrella next to me with a wooden stick to provide me with shade. Then grandpa
Then I went to work in the fields. My grandfather was a capable person in the village and he was an expert in all kinds of tricks in the fields.
When the wind blew, the tied umbrella was blown to one side by the strong wind. The scorching sun was shining on my body, but I didn't even notice it. Most of my eyes were fixed on the metal piece in my hand.
After my grandfather finished his farm work, he noticed what was going on with me. He ran over quickly, but was surprised to find that I had nothing to do and no beads of sweat on my head. The clothes on my body were all cool, and it didn't look like I was there at all.
Exposed to the sun, the ground where I sat was actually cool.
Grandpa didn't say anything, put away the umbrella, and then pulled me up: "Go home, go home."
When people in the village meet me, they always ask about me: "You haven't spoken for two years, right?"
"Two years! Alas!" Grandpa would always sigh.
I fell into a very strange realm at that time. I felt that there was a special connection between heaven, earth, thunder, wind, mountains, lakes, water and fire. There was an energy that connected these forms. Later
, I just learned that this energy is called vitality.
The Chinese New Year is coming soon, and other people’s homes are bustling, but our home is deserted. Grandpa and I are the only ones at home. My parents called during the Chinese New Year and said that it was too cold in my hometown and they were afraid that my brother would get cold. My parents were preparing to celebrate the Chinese New Year.
When I was working overtime, my grandma also had to take my younger brother with me. The travel expenses back and forth were expensive. So this year, my grandpa and I were the only ones at home.
Grandpa is not very happy, but he never loses his temper in front of me. He just smokes cigarettes in a dull manner. Everyone in the village has started smoking filter cigarettes, but Grandpa has not thrown away his cigarette stick.
"Second uncle, seventh brother asked me to bring two hundred yuan back for you to buy some New Year supplies." The speaker was Huang Chenggao, the thirteenth uncle who worked in the south with my parents. Thirteenth uncle came back yesterday. Thirteenth
My uncle is my cousin from the same family. My thirteenth uncle and my father have the same great-grandfather. There are a total of sixteen uncles from the same great-grandfather. My father is the seventh eldest.
Among them, I am the tenth oldest. There are more people of my generation, more than twenty.
Grandpa was not looking very good these days, but when he saw Uncle Thirteen coming over, he managed to put a smile on his face.
"Thirteen. Your seventh brother asked you to bring two hundred yuan? Didn't you bring anything else to the child?"
"Second uncle, it depends on what you said. If seventh brother brings something back, can I still embezzle it? I just brought two hundred yuan and nothing else." Thirteenth uncle chuckled.
"I didn't say you were corrupt. The couple gave birth to a little one, so the older one is no longer a human being?" Grandpa's face turned blue.
"We were leaving in a hurry, so I told my seventh brother at the last minute. He gave me two hundred yuan. What parent doesn't care about his son?" Uncle Thirteen obviously didn't tell the truth. He couldn't deceive me either.
Grandpa and Uncle Thirteen glanced at me and said nonchalantly, "Looking at my memory, I didn't even think of grabbing some candies for Yangyang when I came out."
"This child has done evil (poor). The sweet and the bitter are all the same in his mouth. Fortunately, he is like this. He doesn't know who is doing him bad." Grandpa's dry eyes became a little moist.
Uncle Thirteen was very embarrassed, exchanged a few casual greetings, and left in a hurry.
Because of me, neither adults nor children in the village come to our house. After all, who would dare to get involved in such an evil thing with a lively child? In the village, I am an unlucky person.
people.
At night, a whining sound came from grandpa's room.
All of this was seen with my eyes and heard with my ears. But I felt neither joy nor sadness. I watched all of this happening coldly.
The white clouds are long, the mountains in the distance are green, and the water is gurgling. Everything is like clouds and smoke.
The next day, early in the morning, my grandfather took me and walked to the street.
Although I don't respond to any calls from my relatives, I will always do it mechanically whatever they ask me to do.
My grandfather and I walked silently on the road, which always made people feel strange.
"Your grandson is really obedient. He walked all the way without making any noise. If he were my grandson, he would be flying all over the sky." An old man who was traveling the same way couldn't help but say.
"My grandson is like this." The smile on the grandfather's face was stiff.
At this time, there was a person next to the old man who whispered something in his ear. The old man looked at me with a strange look in his eyes.
Good things don't go out, but bad things spread thousands of miles. My situation is not known to many people from all over the country.
