I want to refund the check, but Qianqian will definitely not let me...
So, it seems that today we have to finish enjoying the historical drama that this girl has graffitied.
But look at the huge audience around us. These unlucky people were fooled by such gimmicks as "written and directed by the mother of the empire, with friendly appearances by senior generals of the Azeroth Salvation Army, adapted from the most touching fairy tale in human history".
, thinking about how many people were buried with me today, I suddenly felt that everything was not that bad after all.
At worst, just enjoy the scene of people foaming at the mouth and treat it as the main drama of today.
While I was thinking wildly, a soft harp sound suddenly came from behind the empty stage. The scene where there was a little chatter immediately fell silent, and as the sound isolation field was activated, the open-air theater fell into silence for an instant.
Only the faint sound of the harp becomes clearer and clearer, as if coming from all directions, gradually filling the listener's ears.
I was originally waiting for Snow White to rush onto the stage riding a Dodge Tomahawk and wearing a mobile armor and yelling her family name, Samus, but I was stunned.
Such beautiful music actually appeared at the beginning of a stage play written by Qian Qian. Could it be that my Qian Qian's brain is functioning normally this time?
"Ding dong, ding dong", the melodious and melodious harp fragments gradually rose up, and finally became an ethereal piece of music that echoed softly over the entire theater. At the same time, the curtain on the stage finally slowly opened
, immediately, soft exclamations sounded around.
Water Cube... Ahem, considering copyright issues, it’s better not to use this image.
A crystal clear water appeared on the stage. It was obviously bound to the stage by magic power, because I found that there was no glass or anything like that outside the square "water block". Seaweed was arranged at the bottom of this water body.
, shells, and gravel are obviously simulating the scene at the bottom of the sea, and in the middle of this beautiful magical water, a beautiful figure playing the harp opened the curtain, casting a perfect surprise to the audience.
A glimpse of.
The narration begins: "It is said that in the depths of the endless blue ocean, there lives a beautiful and kind-hearted creature. Under the calm moon, the lucky crew saw this beautiful creature resting on the rocks and fell in love with it.
Intoxication - they call this beautiful creature a mermaid, and our protagonist is such a mermaid princess..."
I saw this silently, turned to Qianqian, with tears in my eyes: "Is Princess Snow White swollen?"
Although I know that the script you write will go off topic sooner or later, I never thought that you would not be on topic in the first minute, girl! Although I know that Isana plays well with you, please at least think about the basics when writing the script.
What a logic! What does Snow White have to do with that stupid saltwater fish?
Qian Qian looked silly at me, completely unaware of what was going on, and then continued to watch the show.
Regardless of the script, Isana on the stage is still very dedicated and seems to be very into the role: This can be regarded as a genuine performance. After all, she is the princess of the mermaid tribe. You can cheat on her father. At worst, I will regard this as the sea.
Daughter, look!
But this beautiful thought came to an abrupt end the moment Isana stood up and turned off the player under the harp.
...Director, I demand that the stage manager be fired!
"The mermaid princess is the youngest daughter of the mermaid king, and also the most well-behaved daughter," the narrator, who sounded half-soft, continued to read in a tone of boiled water, "but she is not loved by her family.
, on the contrary, the mermaid princess who has poor academic performance, is not good at sports, has been dismissed from special classes, and needs a player even to play the harp is often raped by her brothers, sisters and stepmother. The mermaid king thinks that such a daughter
You will definitely not be able to find a good job when you grow up, and you won’t even give the poor little princess food to eat. The mermaid princess is a noble in the sea, but she lives a life of hunger and cold like a poor person..."
Isana flicked her tail at the right time, flattened the small shrimps that passed by, grabbed them and stuffed them into her mouth.
"...The hungry little princess even had to practice her hunting skills..."
There were faint sounds of sobbing in the audience, but I don't think we were so moved.
Anyway, I am desperate for this too realistic and deceptive script, completely desperate!
"Since there is no oxygen at the bottom of the sea, according to the third natural paragraph on page 17 of the fourth volume of junior high school physics, two of the three elements of the combustion phenomenon are missing. The mermaid princess who cannot make fire for cooking can only eat raw food. The mermaid who is only sixteen years old
She suffered from a variety of gastrointestinal diseases early on, such as duodenal ulcer and chronic gastritis. Year-round improper diet and lack of vitamin B also caused her to suffer from bleeding gums..."
It was too early to despair just now, is it okay to despair again now? Qianqian, is everything you have remembered throughout the compulsory education condensed into this script?
"Until one day, the prince came." When I was complaining, the narration suddenly said - this prince really jumped in for the sake of the plot.
The magical water on the stage occupies a very large area, and one end of it is even directly connected to the part of the stage where the narration is blocked by the curtain. At first I thought it was a channel for water injection, but now I discovered that it turned out to be a river.
Amidst the loud fishing songs, our Prince came out from behind the stage in a rubber boat. He was also wearing a big bamboo hat and carrying a fishing rod...
I can't even imagine the cheating scene below, but the cheating prince still unswervingly lowered his pole above Isana.
"His Royal Highness, who came to the sea to relax by fishing, sprinkled the bait. The hungry and cold mermaid princess could not bear the hunger and swallowed the bait in one gulp."
Director! I want to learn fishing! I want to learn to catch girls! Did the mermaid princess get caught after fucking her for a long time?
The prince who always wears a bamboo hat on the stage has now begun to show his face for the first time since his debut: after Isana was dragged up by the fishing line, His Royal Highness took off the bamboo hat, and I suddenly took a breath:
Kael'thas! Don't you have anything else to do?
"Oh, it's a pity it's not a fish."
The prince on the stage and the mermaid princess who was caught looked at each other for a while. The former shook his head regretfully, and then let go, and the mermaid princess fell back with a plop.
The audience in the audience was almost furious: Idiot! Don’t give it to me!
Monina, who was sitting in the back, couldn't bear it anymore. She came over and muttered: "If I were a prince, I would definitely put it back and be reborn."
Oh oh oh, here comes Monina's fierce speech again!
What I can't understand is that the script has reached this point, and the narration is still calm when reading: "After the prince left, the mermaid princess suffered from lovesickness. She was obsessed with the first person who gave her food and caught her.
The man who chose to release him never forgot her, but she knew that she could not fall in love with a human being: it would be too hard for the fish's tail to jump up on the ground.
But the princess who couldn't bear the pain of lovesickness knew that there was one person who could help her, and that was the old witch outside the palace. The witch could make a magical medicine. After taking this medicine, the mermaid family could get rid of the shackles of Grandpa Darwin and become
People walking on the ground.
But the old witch is very greedy. The old woman asked the mermaid princess to use her voice or the entire kingdom's property in exchange for this medicine. The mermaid princess was in great pain before this choice, but in order to end the pain of lovesickness, the kind-hearted little princess
She still made her own choice. On a dark and windy night, the little princess killed the Mermaid King, her stepmother, seventeen brothers and sisters, and more than a hundred relatives including seven aunts and eight aunts in the family, and killed them.
All the treasures were snatched away..."
At this moment, the entire auditorium was silent. I listened to the narration dumbfounded, sweating like rain: This must be something Qian Qian wrote when her personality changed!
"But what makes the princess sad is that in the process, the witch who can make the magic medicine was scared to death."
The audience continued to be silent.
"The little princess had to drink all the potions in the old witch's laboratory, trying to find a way to become a human..."
Princess you are huge!
"Luckily, the little princess succeeded! She got her legs!"
The Water Cube on the stage disappeared in a burst of light transmitted through space, and Isana, who had just finished killing herself and drinking thousands of glasses of wine, disappeared from the audience's sight. Instead, there was someone standing there.
Leg princess: Gianna.
I said, you really have nothing to do, right? Are you all here to join in the excitement of Qian Qian’s deceptive script?
"The mermaid princess was so happy to be reborn that she decided to make a clean break with her old life, so she gave herself a new name, Snow White - my mother, she can come back... ah, sorry, sorry, this
The sentence is not from the narration!"
Audience: "..."
I:"……"
I really didn’t expect Qianqian to still remember this! Besides, the narration is so cute.
The plot has progressed to this point and has completely transformed into a cheating route. The reborn Snow White walks on the earth, successfully learns the human way of life, and finds out the direction of the castle where the prince lives, so she begins to walk towards the castle with great interest.
On the way, Snow White encountered many difficulties and obstacles. There were lions, snakes, and goshawks who wanted to attack the princess. Of course, the weak princess was no match for these beasts - I don't believe it anyway - at a very critical moment, Seven
A foreign warrior appeared and rescued the distressed princess Sama.
There are seven kind dwarfs, seven hard-working dwarfs, seven dwarfs who make a living by collecting ore and get along well with the animals in the forest, seven...
The seven men, headed by Magni Bronzebeard, have muscles that are rounder than their foreheads. They are covered in steel plates as thick as tank armor. They have a mountain ax in one hand and a ground hammer in the other. They move like a bunch of big moving iron blocks.
The dwarf smashed away more than a dozen lions.
...Bai Xueji, are you planning to form the Black Coast Seven Dragons Gang?
In the suddenly impassioned march, Jaina on the stage led the Ironforge seven-man team to smash, loot and burn in a vigorous adventure. Now I have no hope for the plot at all, but it seems that the above is regarded as
It's okay to watch from a martial arts movie: Magni, wielding the King of the Hill suit, raised and dropped his hammer, knocking away lions, tyrannosaurs, mammoths and fin whales made with golem technology, and Snow White's hands
The lightning flew and swept across the interception force sent by a vicious queen in the castle who had a serious philophilia. The other six dwarves let out a thunderous roar and annihilated Grandma Wolf, Witch of the North Wind, and Ice Queen one after another.
, Anubis, Grass Mud Horse, Doctor Octopus and so on, there are a total of eighteen waves of mixed forces composed of villains. On the huge stage, there is a vigorous and full of smoke, wearing a shirt and holding the Heart of the Rising Sun on the chest.
Bai Xueji, who received the Iron Cross, led her dwarf army to fight in the north and south, split the territory and quickly captured the prince's country. They formed a joint army with the oppressed Vikings and Pac-Man in nearby countries, and fought with
The evil queen has a final battle on the plain in front of the castle
This was an extremely tragic battle. During the battle, four dwarfs unfortunately died. So with tears of grief in their eyes, the remaining three, at the suggestion of the dwarf leader Magni, all put on muskets and changed the name of the gang from black to black.
The Seven Dragons of the Coast were changed to the Three Musketeers...
"Brian, my kind little man, what should we do now?"
On the stage, Snow White, who was at a disadvantage, held her sword tiredly and looked forward resolutely.
"Please don't be discouraged, Your Highness Princess," Dwarf No. 3, who has been converted into a musketeer, replied gruffly, "Please look at the combat map. This battlefield is suitable for us to attack head-on. There are only three main attack roads at present, and
It was difficult to take care of each other. My senior brother and my second senior brother and I went forward to clear the way. The enemies certainly couldn't stop them all. You see, this is the top road, this is the middle road, and this is the bottom road... Our target is the queen standing here, but
Killing soldiers on the road is a problem - we don't have enough manpower, and I don't know if the Queen has anyone with the ability to catch people..."
This is the story of Tang Monk leading three musketeers to play Dota, right?
The narration begins: "After a difficult battle, Her Royal Highness the Princess and her three apprentices finally defeated ninety-nine and eighty-one demons and came to the evil queen."
"Bang~!~!" In the final battle that was obviously rushed out by the scriptwriter because he couldn't finish it, after a burst of smoke, the evil queen appeared on the stage in full robes - Sylvanas!! Go home!
Go fix your elevator!
"Evil Queen!" Magni held a hammer in his hand and made a fierce look at Sylvanas, who was playing the queen and looking helplessly at the audience. "You have to fight for your elevator... ahem,
Pay for the atrocities you committed against my five brothers!"
Next to him, Brian quickly reminded in a low voice: "Brother, there are four - I'm still alive!"
"But I fell five times!" Magni shouted loudly, raising his voice.
The audience was confused, and I was almost done with it.
Sylvanas has a dark face, and I can see her eyebrows twitching from a distance. I still know a little bit about Sylvanas's character, and she has absolutely no interest in this kind of farce.
Magni has the same interest as that old naughty boy. Needless to say, he was coerced and coerced by Qian Qian to star in the role. And now, Magni, the old naughty boy's actions are obviously challenging Sylvanas's last conscience - for the sake of
For the sake of the empire, don't embarrass Azeroth!
"Whoosh!"
Sylvanas raised her hand slightly, and no one could see clearly what was going on. A weakened version of the shadow shot pierced the air. After drawing a strange arc in the mid-air, a feather arrow trembled.
The ground was inserted near Magni's anus.
"Oh oooh oh oh oh!!! Evil Queen, look at my hammer!"
"Swish!"
"Big brother!"
"Third brother, hold on!"
"Brother, run!"
"Yun Chang! Protect the military advisor!"
"Hey! How dare you, thief Cao!"
"Xiao Li's flying knife never misses a beat!"
"Jaina! For the sake of the Dark Goddess! Help me throw these three dwarves down!"
"Your Highness, you can't do this...oh my god!"
"Creak, creak, creak, creak..."
The stage was getting busier and busier, but I already heard something not good: it seemed that the stage, which had been strengthened countless times with arcane magic, was shaking a little bit?
This bad guess was confirmed in the next second and turned into a loud noise: "Boom!!"
Under the torment of a bunch of heroes, especially an old naughty boy like Magni, the poor stage master couldn't bear it anymore. With a loud noise, the entire giant platform collapsed with overwhelming force, and the curtain brackets were covered with a mess of things.
Several ethnic leaders who had skipped work without moral integrity were buried underneath.
Aegwynn, with a head full of white ash on his head, stood expressionlessly on the ruins of the stage, holding the narrator's notebook in his hand: "In the end, the princess and the queen lived a happy life without shame or shame."
...Director, where is the prince?
"Wow--"
Just when I was about to be shocked by this deceptive stage play, thundering applause suddenly came from all directions.
The audience gathered here, as well as the guests attracted by various explosions in the middle, now burst into warm applause, and their faces were all wrinkled with joy.
"Okay, at least it's a successful comedy." I tapped Qian Qian's head, still with a smile on my face.
I almost forgot, today is the carnival, a day when everyone can put down the burdens on their shoulders and have fun with the people. Even Sylvanas was dragged onto the stage, so why bother with the plot?
What's more important is that no matter how much you struggle, it's still useful...
But at this moment, a strange sound interrupted me and everyone else’s applause. Following the sound, I found three men wearing top hats in the crowd. What was different from the joyful atmosphere of the people around them was that these three men
A big old man was holding his head and crying.
Judging from the energy reactions on their bodies, these should be three heroic spirits, but they don't look like they are from the fighting force.
"Excuse me - what's wrong with you?"
I came to the side of three men crying and hugged each other and asked inexplicably.
The first person raised his head and took off his hat to salute me: "Your Majesty the Emperor, my name is Hans Christian Andersen." Then he pointed to two similar-looking people next to him: "This is Jacob Green, and this is William.