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"They're all idiots!"
"Quan Te's mother is an idiot...a stupid idiot who is extremely stupid...Fortunately, she is not my son, otherwise I would have been pissed to death by them!"
Yuncha Ridge, the core area, the Holy Peak of Chatian.
The mountain is majestic, like a black steel gun, piercing into the sky. The mountain is nearly a million miles high, and the mountains on all sides are like shavings. Occasionally, the mountain is dotted with a few powerful ancient pines and the bold and fat eagle.
Eagles and the like build their nests on the branches of trees. Occasionally, an eagle cry will startle the surrounding area into silence, and all birds and beasts will be silent.
Directly east of the Tianfeng Peak, on the smooth and clean cliff as if cut by a knife, some powerful person wrote a very bright cinnabar-red word "stamp" in a huge font!
This word "poke" is written with extremely powerful strokes. To put it nicely, it sounds like a flying dragon or a phoenix. To put it harshly, it sounds like a chicken claw convulsing... From the top of the mountain to the foot of the mountain, there is a big Chinese character that is a million miles long.
He was domineering and fierce, like a spear piercing the sky from the foot of the mountain.
At the top of the word "Zha", close to the top of the Tianfeng Peak, there is a flat dam hanging high in the clouds. On the flat dam with an area of more than 100 acres, there are ancient pines, strange orchids, two waterfalls, and a small spring.
At the end of Pingba, there is a neatly decorated round arch cave entrance. On the cliffs on both sides, there are carved Buddhist reliefs such as goddesses presenting flowers, Bodhisattvas preaching, Buddha lying on his side, and Arhats shaking their fists.
Early in the morning, accompanied by the constant curses of "idiot", the owner of Yunchaling, the supreme leader in the hearts of trillions of demons and monsters, Lao Hei, known as the Big Bear Lord, scratched his forehead and shook his big belly "chirping".
He slowly walked out of the cave.
He walked all the way to the edge of Pingba, overlooked the sea of clouds from a high position, squinted at the half of the red sun looming on the edge of the sea of clouds to the east, casually pulled off his belt, revealing an extremely majestic object, and blew the sound
whistle.
"Chiliu", a yellow hot spring spurts out dozens of miles away, like a cloud-piercing arrow, piercing through the dense clouds along the way, turning into a drizzle with a peculiar smell, slowly flowing along
The mountain wind blows downward.
Thin mist filled the air, and the red sun that had just peeked out of its face shone on the mist, suddenly spreading out several circles of small rainbows.
His body shivered, and then shivered again. Lao Hei muttered a few times, scratched the fat flesh on his belly, took out two cowardly lice, and pinched them to death with a "click" sound: "Fat water"
Don’t leave it to outsiders! This little thing is fattened by your own essence and blood!”
He stuffed the two crushed lice into his mouth, chewed them twice, and swallowed them.
Several voluptuous vixens twisted their water snake waists and came up to him laughing and joking, picked up buckets, drank water from the spring on the flat dam, and poured it on Lao Hei's body.
Lao Hei opened his arms and allowed a few vixens to wet his hair. Then he applied the finest balm imported from outside the mountains and kneaded it into thick, fine white foam.
After such a tossing, buckets of clean water were poured down, washing the hair all over his body. Several vixens used fine combs to comb Lao Hei's hair, and then smeared the long black hair with the best sesame oil, and used it to comb his hair.
The black hair, which is more than two feet long, is so shiny that it looks like a mirror.
A huge standing mirror was moved over by a few little demons and placed next to Lao Hei.
Lao Hei looked at his own figure in the big mirror for a while and nodded with satisfaction: "Well, Buddhist disciples should be dignified. Those sloppy monks are not serious and good monks... Although I am not a serious monk.
"Buddhist disciples, you can dress up neatly, but you should be cleaner...otherwise, if you go to the front mountain to beg for a few fragrant cakes and fruits to eat, you will be croaked!"
A few little vixens brought a complete set of armor, shirts, belts, etc.
Put on a scarlet brocade embroidered with hundreds of flowers, a thick Suan Ni Swallowing Barbarian King Armor, a large belt with a Taotie Mouth beast pattern, a blood-colored flame-patterned cape, and heavy horns.
He wore a gilt helmet, hung a large serrated bone-cutting machete on his left waist, hung a door-panel-breaking two-handed heavy sword on his right waist, and conveniently took over a six-handed sword carried by a few little demons.
A four-foot ventilated steel gun.
Lao Hei raised his spear, stamped his feet vigorously, and shouted "Wow, wow, wow" towards the red sun that had risen three poles high in the sky.
"The great master of Yunchaling Mountain, the handsome black-faced man Lao Hei is here... Among all the men in heaven, who dares to fight me?"
The red sun is silent. The sky is silent. The flowing clouds are silent.
Lao Hei waved his spear, rolled up thousands of miles, and swept away the thick clouds around Tiantian Peak. He pushed his crotch forward hard, and yelled "Wow, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah!"
, I am having sex with your own mother!" Liu Yun was silent.
The sky is silent. The red sun is silent.
Lao Hei was silent for a long time, then dropped his spear, took off the big scimitar and heavy sword hanging on his belt, took off his heavy belt and armor, took off his cloak, threw down the mighty gilded helmet on his head, and clasped his hands behind his back, like a
The frail old man walked step by step towards the cave at the end of Pingba with his waist bent.
As he walked, he casually unbuttoned the red brocade hundred-flower jersey, revealing his shiny black hair.
"Come down and start dinner!" Lao Hei muttered: "Send a message to that old guy in Hanhai. Let's fight and teach him a lesson. Don't really piss off the Taichu kid. He really does his best.
Hit us at Yunchaling..."
"I'm not afraid, but the men under my command are all born and raised by their parents...there are too many casualties, which undermines the original intention of my Buddhist compassion!"
"Take it easy and take it easy..." Lao Hei walked slowly into his cave with heavy steps.
The furnishings in the huge cave are quite simple, and can even be said to be a bit shabby. The cave is extremely bright and spacious, and the cave walls are made of a material between stalactites and jade, crystal clear and translucent, with a
The bright light is shining, no lamp beads are needed, and every detail is naturally visible.
On the cave wall, huge Buddhist niches are neatly carved, which contain statues of the graceful Buddha, Bodhisattva, King of Heaven, and Arhat. Next to each statue, there is a nameplate with small writing on it.
Learn about the life story of these statues.
For example, who was the abbot of Landa Ancient Temple, "so-and-so divine monk", what year he was born, what year he died, what great achievements he did in his life, etc...
In front of these statues, there are incense burners, flowers, melons and fruits, plain wine, and all kinds of offerings. Lao Hei walked slowly past these Buddhist niches.
Along the way, there were many smart little white apes dressed as novice monks. They were busy adding incense to the statues in the Buddhist niches and replacing various offerings. When they saw Lao Hei walking by, these little white apes hurriedly clasped their hands together in a pattern.
He bowed to Lao Hei in a manner and recited the Buddha's name and mantra.
Lao Hei walked slowly to the depths of the cave and came to a huge stone hall that could accommodate tens of thousands of people for a banquet.
He sat calmly behind a huge stone table, and a group of little vixens brought him water, wild fruits, steamed buns, homemade pickles and other items.
As the leader of Yuncha Ridge, he has trillions of powerful demons under his command. But Lao Hei's breakfast is extremely light.
Putting his hands together and muttering a few verses in a low voice, Lao Hei began to enjoy the meals slowly. He was three feet tall, with big shoulders and a round waist, and was full of fat, but his appetite was very bad. With such a big body, he just drank.
After a few bowls of water, a dozen mountain apples and pears, a dozen steamed buns with multi-grain noodles, a bucket of millet porridge, and three plates of pickles, he waved his hand and asked for the meal.
Withdrew.
"Bring the account book!" Lao Hei muttered.
A vixen who was born enchanting, with ninety percent beauty and charm, like a ripe wild peony, with an alluring look, quietly walked up and handed over a thick, specially made book with length and width.
A large account book measuring about one foot was slapped in front of Lao Hei with a bang.
Lao Hei's thick fingers were stained with saliva at the corner of his mouth, and he opened the huge account book with some difficulty, frowning and looking at the rows of delicate small words on it.
"Hey, King Black Wind is stupid."
"Heiyun baby is also stupid."
"Fortunately, fortunately, they are not my biological children, they are all godsons, godsons..." Lao Hei muttered: "Otherwise, I will be pissed to death by them, pissed to death by them...
·····Not biological, not biological…I am a Buddhist disciple who abides by the precepts, and there is no such thing as a biological son!”
"Hey!" Looking at the dense handwriting on the account book, Lao Hei sighed sadly: "I have never been a reader since I was a child. Looking at these things gives me a headache...Hey, what a loss.
Younger?"
The vixen who threw down the account book rolled his eyes at Lao Hei and started complaining. "I said, Your Majesty, you are just looking for trouble for yourself!"
"Heiyun Lord won the battle...ahem." The vixen rolled his eyes as hard as he could: "Although, this record is a bit watered down, but the bunch of scoundrels in the heaven did not take advantage. They said they were fighting.
It makes sense to win a big victory."
"King Heifeng is a brainless fool, you know. He has always been following Lord Heiyun to flatter him, and he has done such things not once or twice... Well, in his territory of Heifeng Ridge,
He wants to celebrate Mr. Heiyun...
Lao Hei snorted coldly: "Of course you can celebrate, but you have to pay!"
"For those who open restaurants and restaurants, isn't their capital money? Let the young people go directly to other people's shops and use other people's drinks and food at will without paying them?"
"Do it once or twice, do it three times or four times..." Lao Hei muttered: "It's a bad rule." The vixen sighed: "Then, you can only pay for it yourself like in previous years.
Subsidy..."
Lao Hei scratched his scalp hard, and sighed in distress: "Fortunately, it's not his biological son, otherwise... you said, you said, if you take other people's things, use other people's things, you have to do it."
How many times have I taught them how to give money...how many times have I taught them? I’ve beaten them, scolded them, but how come they just don’t remember it every time?”
"The beating was not hard enough?" Lao Hei looked at the vixen with wandering eyes: "How about this time, I find an excuse to beat King Black Wind again?"
The vixen blinked: "How about beating him to death?"
Lao Hei rolled his eyes: "Beat him to death, it won't be... It won't be... It's not a big mistake. It's just letting the kids eat and drink for free. Although it's wrong, it won't be beaten.
Damn... Hey, hey, these rough-skinned and thick-bodied bastards, if you don’t beat them to death at once, they won’t remember anything at all!”
Waving his hand, Lao Hei said leisurely: "Let's do it the old way. Send your tribesmen to be more sophisticated and shrewd. Those unlucky ghosts who opened the shop were consumed by a lot of wine and meat, and they were secretly supplied behind the scenes."
"After the young ones have had fun and are satisfied, we still need to take care of the leaders of these tough guys. We can't really beat them to death, but we will beat them half to death."
"Yunchaling, you still have to follow the rules."
The vixen was silent for a while, then carefully approached Lao Hei: "But, Your Majesty, what happened this time was because of Taichu's nephew... that Yuan Jia...
Lao Hei looked at the vixen in surprise: "What do you want to say? What are the benefits of him? Should we reach out?"
Smiling calmly, Old Black poked the vixen gently with his finger, and directly poked a goose egg-sized fleshy lump on her forehead. The pain made the vixen burst into tears and rolled her eyes crazily at him.
"Thank you for being so smart on weekdays!" Lao Hei said calmly: "Ignore him and just let nature take its course?"
After a slight pause, Lao Hei said softly: "Everyone has arrived on their own territory. It's not us who should be anxious, but them!"
"Bullying children, if this kind of thing spreads, it will ruin our reputation." "Just watch."
"If Yuan Yu can be safe on our territory, then it proves that what happened to him is not of much concern... It's just a child making trouble and taking the opportunity to cause some trouble in the heaven. Is it possible?
, do you expect our Yunchaling family to be able to overthrow the Heavenly Court? Impossible, completely impossible!"
"If Yuan Fu is on our territory, something will go wrong!"
Lao Hei's thick fingers pressed hard on the vixen's plump buttocks, and he said slowly: "I am compassionate, that would be interesting...Why do I, Yunchaling, look a little small outside?"
A small evil reputation can force them to attack Yuan Lu on the territory of Yunchaling regardless of my face, Old Xiong... The things inside this will be very interesting."
"In short, we don't want to take action first!" Lao Hei clasped his hands together and recited a Buddhist chant devoutly: "The dignity of Buddhist disciples still needs to be respected. We don't want to take action first. But if Yuan Lu is forced into a hurry,
If you take the initiative to come and hold our thighs to ask for help, then... we will naturally be merciful!"
The vixen smiled coquettishly, pursed her red lips, and a "chirp" sound was printed on Lao Hei's big face. "My lord, you are indeed as wise as a fool!"
"Wise as foolish as a fool? Roughly, like a fish?" Lao Hei rolled his eyes again: "Do I look like a fish? Hum, hum hum... That's all, let's go to Heifeng Ridge...
I'm using my money to fill the hole for these idiots, these people who eat and drink so much must eat something to make up for it!"
With a sway of his body, Lao Hei's black hair squirmed. A faint Buddha's light shone, and he transformed into a sturdy man eight feet tall, with big black lumps all over his body.
"Okay, come back to me if you need anything!" Lao Hei stepped on a wisp of black wind and rushed out of the cave as fast as lightning: "Remember to tell Han Haisou not to get really angry...
Acting is almost done. I really pissed off Tai Chu'er. His few fish bones are probably not enough for the Heavenly Court!"
Fang City.
Lu Qi was holding a bag of pearls and stood quietly in the square in front of the palace of the general who patrolled the city.
Around him were all the shopkeepers of various shops, each with a twitching face and muttering something in a low voice - unlike Lu Qi, a newcomer who had just arrived, many of the shopkeepers in this square were all operating in this city.
I don’t know how many generations, they can basically be regarded as the old indigenous people here.
Therefore, they also knew what the structure of Yuya City, and even the Black Wind Ridge to which Yuya City belonged, was. Lu Qi stood aside and listened, and he listened with great interest.
The ordinary general of the Fangya City is a mixed-blood grizzly bear spirit... And in Yuncha Ridge, the bear spirit is the most expensive. Therefore, although this grizzly bear spirit is a little weak in cultivation, he has just stepped into the realm of a heavenly general.
My IQ is also a little low. It is said that I can't even count a hundred on my fingers. I do things upside down and often do things that are ridiculous, but...
···His position in Yuya City is very stable.
As for the Black Wind Ridge to which Yuya City belongs, the Black Wind King is a black bear spirit with a relatively pure bloodline. He has a star-lord level of cultivation. He has a bright silver gun in his hand and has the title "Yuncha Ridge East Gate Shiwanshan Ridge No. 1".
The reputation of "A Handsome Bear".
The Black Wind King and the Fang General are a strange pair and a top-notch pair.
What they like to do most is to hold banquets and various celebrations every now and then - a banquet for a newly married concubine; a banquet for the birth of a bear cub; a banquet for a new good weapon; and a banquet for the next door neighbor.
The king on the mountain won the boxing match and held a banquet...
And once a banquet is held, they will celebrate it together.
Their method of universal celebration is very crude and direct - all the little monsters in the villages in the Black Wind Ridge who are under the direct jurisdiction of the Black Wind King can enter and exit restaurants, restaurants and the like at will, drinking and eating meat at will.
······No money!
Depending on the scale of the celebration, the little monsters can eat and drink freely in these shops for three to five days, or seven or eight days, or even ten days... This expense is not small!
Over the years, once King Black Wind and General Yanya held a banquet, it would be an unbearable additional expense for the shopkeepers of corresponding businesses in their territories!
This time, Lord Heiyun led the army of demons from Yuncha Ridge to fight head-on with Heaven. He actually achieved a brilliant record of annihilating over 100 million enemies and destroying millions of large warships in Heaven... King Heifeng was happy,
Just let the little ones have fun for a month!
Eat and drink as much as you like for a month without paying!
Lu Qi looked at the many shopkeepers standing around him and couldn't help but shake his head - Lu Qi didn't know any "economic" or "financial" methods, but he at least knew one rule - when you eat, you have to give money!
King Black Wind behaves so recklessly, but the economy of these mountain towns and cottages in his territory has not been completely destroyed. The shopkeepers of various shops can still continue to operate... One of them, maybe
Doing business with Yunchaling is really very profitable; as for the two of them, listening to what these shopkeepers say, they also have a share of the "subsidy" behind it!
The little demons under his command were doing whatever they wanted, eating and drinking as they pleased.
And a certain big shot in Yunchaling would secretly make up for the losses of these shopkeepers every time... Lu Qi touched his chin thoughtfully, this Yunchaling is really interesting.
"Um, the little money shopkeeper of Qianhulu, are you here?" A petite sparrow poked its head out from the door of the city patrol general's house and shouted loudly: "The general said, Xiaoqian shopkeeper, come in quickly."
·····What good things have you prepared to give to Mr. Heiyun as a congratulatory gift?"
"The general said that this great victory is a great event for us in Yunchaling." "It's not a first-class good thing, so don't show it to embarrass yourself!"
"Look at the presence of so many shopkeepers, but they all took out all the good stuff from the bottom of the box, right? Tsk tsk!"
Lu Qi responded a few times, smiled, and strode into the General's Mansion with his pocket in hand. Under the leadership of the sparrow spirit, he walked through the rough and spacious square in front of the mansion and came directly to the main hall of the General's Mansion.
.
A huge grizzly bear sat behind a black koan with a big belly, salivating, looking at several fist-sized rubies and sapphires stacked in front of it.
In Lu Qi's eyes, these gems have no Taoist charm or inspiration. They are just big in size, very clear in quality, well carved, and extremely shining.
In the mortal world, these gems are priceless treasures.
But in the world of cultivation, these gems are really meaningless...you can't eat them, you can't use them, they are just pure decorations.
But this grizzly bear obviously has different aesthetics.
He was almost lying on these few gems, his eyes were twinkling, his mouth was salivating, and his whole body was trembling with joy. From time to time he would let out strange laughter of "hehehehe": "Hey, listen to your Majesty, you can eat enough."
······Of these treasures, 40% will be given to Mr. Heiyun, 30% will be given to the king, and 30% will be my own... Ouch, really, I am getting rich, getting rich!" Lu Qi's mouth twitched.
?
What?
Mr. Heiyun can only get 40%?
In the name of celebrating Mr. Heiyun's success, he created such a big scene, but Mr. Heiyun could only get 40%?
You, General Yanya, and the Black Wind King behind you, are you short-sighted, or... are you too smart?
Lu Qi coughed heavily.
General Yanya suddenly raised his head, wiped the saliva from the corner of his mouth vigorously, and pretended to be dignified: "Oh, shopkeeper Xiaoqian... ah, the shopkeeper Qian before..."
·”
"My third uncle." Lu Qi bowed his hand to General Yingya: "Third uncle is old, so he went home to be raised. From now on, all Qian Hulu's activities in Yunchaling will be
Xiaosheng and my elder brother have the final say."
Lu Qi was not polite. He strode to the front of General Yiya and dumped the cloth bag in his hand on the koan. "Crash!" There were more than thirty fist-sized bags, milky white in color, and the shining brilliance of three dozen in broad daylight.
Deep-sea orbs with a square foot radius were rolling around on the koan, and the magnificent pearl light illuminated the entire hall.
"Hiss!" General Yanya took a deep breath and stood up subconsciously: "What kind of fire are you waiting for?"
"Baby!" Lu Qi pointed at these pearls and said calmly: "This is the first time we met, please ask the general to take care of one in the future... If the general can take more care of Qian Hulu, as long as I am Qian Hulu's
Once the deal is done, your benefits will be indispensable from now on!"
Lu Qian saw through the true nature of General Yan Ya.
Slightly stupid, greedy, and with only one intestine... you would say he is difficult to deal with such a monster. He has a strong wildness and bestiality, which is really difficult to deal with.
But if you want to say that he is easy to deal with...as long as you find out his appetite and hobbies, and stroke along the hair as hard as you can, there will be no problem!
"Benefits?" General Yingya suddenly raised his head, widened his little eyes as hard as he could, and grinned: "Shopkeeper Xiaoqian? You are, interesting, hey, hey, a good person, a good person, a real good person!"
"Well, this time I will give Lord Heiyun a banquet to celebrate his success, and you will have a seat at the celebration banquet. Hey, hey, such a good treasure, such a good light, such a bright bead, hey, hey...
.
General Yan Ya felt so distressed that his face twitched: "Forty percent goes to Lord Heiyun, and 30% goes to Lord Black Wind. I can only take 30%, 30%..."
Lu Qian looked at General Yanya and couldn't help but complained crazily in his heart. How did these old monsters in Yunchaling teach their children?
With General Fang's performance, aren't you afraid that he will be tricked and sold as a piglet?
Shaking his head, Lu Qi flipped his palm, and there was another white bag in his hand. He leaned it on the koan, and there was another pile of thumb-sized sea beads in various colors of gold, red, blue, and red. "Wow!"
"La" and slipped out of the pocket.
Although these sea beads are only the size of a thumb, they are round and flawless. They are all the top "walking beads" among the orbs. Moreover, each of the orbs has gleaming brilliance, inner divine power, and surging Taoist rhyme.
Condensed with spiritual intelligence, each one is a top-notch product that can be used to refine weapons, make elixirs, or even directly consume them to increase a large amount of cultivation.
"These are Xiao Ke's filial piety to you, General." Lu Qi said calmly: "A few greeting gifts are not worth much, General just accept them."
General Yan Ya was stunned. He slowly raised his head and took a deep look at Lu Qi.
Two fat bear paws have been firmly pressed on these orbs. General Yanya said solemnly: "Good brothers, they are indeed good brothers... In this case, then, as the elder brother, we will not
You're welcome... Well, I'll give you a good seat at Mr. Heiyun's celebration banquet... Just sit next to me!"
"Hey, what kind of business do you Qianhuluhao do? If it's useful to my brother, just ask!" General Yiya smiled at Lu Qi very sincerely and said: "From now on, your family's business will be my brother's.
My own business!"
A quarter of an hour later, Lu Qian walked out of the General's Mansion patrolling the city, swaying and triumphantly.
He found King Chunlan and told him what happened in the General's Mansion... King Chunlan's face suddenly twitched, and he almost spit out a mouthful of blood!