As usual, I write an essay every year on my birthday. As of this morning, I still have no idea what to write on my birthday. It’s not that I don’t have anything to write, but there is really too much to write. Not long ago, I told someone
, when people look at themselves at the age of ten, you are the self at the age of ten. When you look at yourself at the age of twenty, you are the self at the age of twenty. When you are thirty, look at yourself again, and you will find that the ten-year-old self is
My twenty-year-old self and my thirty-year-old self all stand together. They have left so many traces that they are inseparable.
Then, I have thirty years of things to write about.
In the past, I tried to write something light-hearted, or pragmatic, and not difficult to understand, but then I thought about it, at the beginning of today, I would write something metaphysical, fake and empty.
Let’s talk about the three concepts. When combined, it may be the majority of me. During this period, there were some weird and secondary things. If you read on, you will understand the reasons.
One:
At the end of 2014, I went to Beijing Lu Xun Institute of Literature for two months to study. One of the classes was given by Professor Dai Jinhua from Peking University. During the period, Professor Dai Jinhua mentioned a concept. She said that in the process of the origin of writing,
Here, Chinese characters are ideographic, while European characters are phonological. This is the difference between the two.
Teacher Dai Jinhua is not studying language at Peking University. She is studying film, mass media and other directions. She mentioned this concept probably because the content was slightly touched upon and she just talked about it casually. I have also heard about this concept before. After the lecture,
, as usual, there was a question time. When I first arrived at Luyuan, I raised my hand to ask a question. The question was probably: the basic meaning of the existence of words is to convey thoughts, that is, to materialize the invisible thoughts in the mind and pass them on to others so that others can receive them.
In "The Three-Body Problem" and many science fiction works, we have also described a group like the ant family in which the entire group is ruled by a mother body, and believe that this is a way for biological evolution to reach a high point. Our words are directly expressed in graphics.
Meaning, as for Western writing, the meaning is first converted into syllables, and then icons are used to express the basic syllables. After entering the brain, it is interpreted through a set of conventional methods. Is this an extra process? The difference between these two developments,
Are there any objective factors and the inevitability of development?
This question was asked somewhat randomly, because it had nothing to do with the content of Professor Dai Jinhua's course. It was just a topic picked from scraps to expand on. Professor Dai Jinhua was stunned for a moment, and then said: This may not be inevitable.
I asked: Maybe the difference is just an accident?
She said: Yes.
I later had a lot of thoughts about this issue, but I won’t discuss it here. The reason why I say this is because this issue seems random, but to me, it is so important that I
It's running through my mind anytime, anywhere.
For me, the most attractive aspect of language is the transmission of thoughts.
I am thirty years old, have not gone to college, and write online novels. I am not really recognized by society yet - of course, I have studied in Luyuan University and participated in several conferences, both large and small, but I have not been admitted.
Writers Association, my achievements are only circulated in a small area, and I am only an average online novel writer. But if you ask me seriously: "What exactly do you do?" I might answer:
"I do the transmission, the transmission of thoughts."
There is a myth in the "Bible, Old Testament, and Genesis" that I have always liked. In ancient times, because humans had no language separation, they were extremely powerful and worked together. They built the Tower of Babel together in an attempt to seize God's authority, but God did not destroy it.
They just made them all start speaking different languages, and then humans fell into mutual suspicion and war, and could never unite again, so the Tower of Babel collapsed.
This is really an extremely simple and profound philosophy. Almost all human differences and problems come from the opacity of each other's thinking. In an essay when I was twenty-seven, I wrote about the relationship between wild boars and morality, in terms of interests, morality, and deception.
On the triangle, deception comes from this, and from this the rich and colorful human world is born, with all its comedies and tragedies, all its rules and status quo.
Language is the most important way to complete human beings. It is used to convey other people’s thoughts and intentions, and to carry other people’s wisdom. Whether it is the understanding of scientific laws or the perception of life, we can accumulate and pass it on to others through words.
Let future generations grow up quickly without having to experience it one by one. From this, when they experience the same challenges, they may make better choices and have a better life.
Human society has evolved as a result.
When I was in my early twenties, I first came across the concept of "words have limits and cannot express all thoughts" in Haruki Murakami's book.
By ten years - what I have been thinking about tirelessly is how to transform thoughts into words that are as accurate as possible. I have thrown away the gorgeous and unnecessary writing styles that even I myself do not understand, leaving simple branches, and then turning the leaves into
It flourishes, and then it is pruned, and so on again and again. Now, as I continue to prune in this style, I am thirty years old.
Some people think my writing is good, while others don't. Of course, each has their own reasons.
Second:
Let me talk about my character. As far as I am concerned, I have huge character flaws.
Such character flaws stem from the wrong sequence and wrong structure when I received education. When I was enlightened, my grandfather taught me a very correct and upright way of thinking. Later, when I read Lu Xun,
, I imitated Lu Xun’s writing style in my composition. My writing style was not good, and the teacher said that my thinking was also bad. I was confused and thought, I was criticizing bad things, why was it me who had bad thinking? After thinking about it,
, this is the initial disagreement and incompatibility - each of us has experienced these to a greater or lesser extent.
This chapter is not over, please click on the next page to continue reading! What I experienced next was an era of rapid change. A reader once said in a book review that I had witnessed the afterglow of that era. Indeed, when I was young,
, I have witnessed the afterglow of that era when the changes were not drastic, and then there were drastic changes, the impact of various concepts, and the world view I established was incompatible with this world. Then, due to family difficulties, I gave up.
University, when I gave up university, knowledge no longer had weight in my mind. Without weight, there was no awe. I dismantled everything at will, so all orthodox knowledge lost its meaning.
I often tell people that the so-called "meaning" comes from the "sense of ritual." When we were children and played house, we all discussed in a serious manner how to place the dishes, how to sit, and how to feed the people. On Qingming Festival, we would sweep tombs and kneel down.
Come down, how to kneel, how many times to kowtow - for pure materialists, are these related to ghosts and gods? No, they are only related to ourselves. When we do it seriously, it will produce "meaning"
weight.
In the simplest explanation: when we put a lot of effort into something, we will automatically convince ourselves that what we are doing is meaningful.
So later on, whenever some book friends who don’t want to study come to me and ask me if they want to go to college or continue their studies, I will advise them to continue, not just for the sake of knowledge, but more so that when they enter society,
Feeling the dedication they have made, feeling the heavy thing, and then they tell themselves: "I am ready."
I entered the society when I was unprepared, and then I lost all awe. I thought that everything could be structured using basic logic, and my brain was still easy to use. When I encountered something, I
The brain will automatically go back thousands of years or even tens of thousands of years ago, construct logic from the primitive society, and then push it link by link to the present, looking for all the causes of this matter. If the cause can be found, the mind will be able to
In the past. Just like the story of the wild boar I told three years ago, the origin of morality.
For a while, I suspected that I might have some kind of mental illness called Asperger's syndrome. This type of patient uses logic to construct perceptual thinking. During a period when I was least good at communicating with others, I even tried to use logic to formulate thoughts.
A set of rules for talking to people...
There is no doubt that I have tasted the bitter pill.
If there were only the above problems, maybe I wouldn't be writing as much as I am now. Half a year ago, I saw a sentence, which goes something like this: The most important quality of an excellent writer is sensitivity. For some things, others still don't understand.
They didn't feel any pain, they were already in terrible pain. If they wanted to endure the pain, they had to be humorous...
I often tell people that I have no literary talent, but I probably have the quality of sensitivity. Sometimes I see those born in the 1980s who don’t know what to do after entering the society, changing their three views and distorting their spirit.
, in the struggle, no one knows what is wrong with these, until one day - most people - regard money and power as the standard to measure everything, as the criterion of success, and continue to pursue it. Those who have achieved it feel that
Not satisfied, they always feel that something is missing. People begin to miss their youth. Being young has led to the popularity of a large number of "The Year in a Hurry", but looking back, even if money and power cannot satisfy themselves,
I have no choice but to continue pursuing it. This is a bit too high-key, right?
Sometimes when trying to deconstruct oneself, deconstruct the entire human race, put it in the time of the entire earth or even the universe, and then see the wind and sand rolling up, and in an accidental moment, a beautiful pattern is drawn. We produce so-called wisdom, and we adapt
The world, changing the world, eventually destroying the world, will eventually perish... can't find the meaning of eternal existence - this seems to be a middle-of-the-road thing again, right?
If I thought about this when I was eighteen years old and my three views were not yet complete, it would indeed be a secondary emotion that could be changed. When I turn thirty, I would be serious about returning to this issue.
This piece of stuff may be about the ultimate nihilism proposition, and I don’t really want to discuss it with anyone. Under normal circumstances, it’s the second most shocking and shameful thing. I mention it just to get into the third point.
After stating these two points, let’s move on to the third point: let’s talk about online articles.
I have been writing online articles for many years. Although when I went to Luyuan, I insisted that there is no distinction between traditional literature and online literature, but in fact, there is. Some call it traditional literature and popular literature, and some call it
Let us temporarily think that there is such a division between elite literature and popular literature.
I write books very seriously, and I dare to tell anyone so confidently. I once had the dream of being a writer—and I still have it—but the definition of a writer is somewhat different.
Two days ago, Hunan Province held the Sixth Young Writers Conference, which is said to be held every five years but was held ten years later. I went over to attend and happened to be interviewed by a reporter from Hunan Economic Television. I had no drafts or preparations at that time.
Representative of Internet literature, when talking about Internet articles, I said that today's Internet articles may not be the future of literature, but in the middle, it contains the most important link that is missing from traditional literature that is currently in trouble.
They are: attraction, persuasion.
I used to define literature like this: traditional literature focuses on the exploration and speculation of one's own spirit, while online literature focuses on transmission and communication.
In this definition, traditional literature digs deep into the self. Its depth determines its height. Even if many people cannot understand it, people with high ideological realm can see it and they communicate at a very high level.
, I do not think they are worthless, on the contrary, these ideas can be said to be the most shining treasures in human development, and I am sincerely convinced.
As for online literature, what we care more about is how to spread something in our minds to readers' hearts. Over the years of the development of online literature, we have accumulated a lot of experience and techniques. Of course, some are good and some are not.
There are good ones, there are benign ones, and there are bad ones. Internet literature, after all, is still a subject with mixed results.
When I was studying in Luyuan, one day I accidentally met a teacher on the road and chatted about differences. The other person was a very good teacher, but he didn’t know much about online literature after all, so he talked about some things. I was
It seems to say: I have seen many authors who cannot make money and are forced by life. When they want to make money with their words, they will dive into the most extreme direction and change their original thinking.
Give up everything. People go to extremes like this.
The other party said: But we do have many authors who persist in the declining social atmosphere. They are not doing it for money. They try their best to resist the influence of social atmosphere. Their speculations are important to society.
Very important, can't live without...
The first thought that popped into my mind at that time was: The impact of reform and opening up in the past thirty years has led to the decline of spiritual civilization and the impact on more than one billion people. Can just saying "I tried my best" be enough to explain away the past?
There may be such persevering authors, one or two, who are all respectable, but isn't it responsible for the weakness of the entire literary circle in the past thirty years?
Literature is the beginning of spiritual civilization!
I didn't dare to say it.
In the interview the day before yesterday, I mentioned the best literature and asked what the best literature is. I actually don’t have a very specific concept. I said: It can really make people’s spirits harmonious. When we say: "
Your life should not be just for money and power." People will truly believe that it can be truly persuasive, that it can educate and entertain, and infect the most people, instead of making people feel like they are singing after they finish speaking.
High-profile, it can reshape a person's outlook on life and truly leave the experience of predecessors to future generations...
I said some things, but I wasn't so organized at the time, and I'm afraid I couldn't see it in the news.
Science and technology will continue to develop. In science and technology, there is a difference between theoretical science and applied science. Theoretical science stands at the top. It does not make much money, but it can win the Nobel Prize. When they make breakthroughs, applied science - we
Everything in life can be derived.
The spirit will not develop significantly. The peak of the spirit, or the state infinitely close to the peak, appeared thousands of years ago. Confucius said: At seventy, one should follow the desires of the heart and not exceed the rules. This is such a thing. When we understand the world
Through many things in the world and understanding with the world, our spirit can be harmonized, no longer in pain, and we can be peaceful and happy, but not passive and numb. That is the pinnacle of the spirit, but in every era, the things we encounter are different.
For each person who only lives for a few decades, the way of weaving and shaping the three views for them may be different. There may be only a few who can finally reach this state, but in each generation, this may be the pinnacle of our pursuit.
.
There is also a culmination type in literature, which is theoretical literature. We explore the use of every brushwork, every novel way of writing, inspiring techniques, and the exploration of spiritual shaping. Such things can
Win the Mao Dun Literature Prize, or the Nobel Prize for Literature. Under this, applied literature, based on their foundation and inspiration, taps into its own spiritual depth, shapes it with words, and passes it on to others. Traditional literature and online literature are all here
Category, there are those who are highly thoughtful and thoughtful, but the research is too little. The people who explore the Internet and publish, but often lack of thinking.
This is already a big country with 1.4 billion people studying. We have experienced a lot of problems before. I used to be a person who tended to think publicly and longed for democracy. In the past two years, I have
I think, in the midst of such rapid development, to maintain this country and return to the second place in the world, from a historical perspective, this period of time may be an unimaginable era of prosperity. A certain part of my heart
I started to feel proud of this country, and some of the conditions have returned to the 50-cent position. At least part of it, we can be sure of it, and I still yearn for democracy, but my yearning for democracy has become more complicated. The people are incapable of autonomy, so what is the point?
democracy?
But no matter what, spiritual development is still at a low ebb.
Of course, there is an explanation for this. To correctly shape a person's three views, there is a set of methods. In ancient times, the Confucian method lasted for many years, and they had a lot of established experience - let's not talk about the final good results of Confucianism.
Bad, but to train someone into a certain state, their methods have been used for thousands of years - after the May Fourth Movement, we destroyed the framework, and a new framework cannot be established. How to train a person, there is no mature system.
Just like when I studied Lu Xun, I did see that some people are not good and there are bad people. Why did I point them out and I became the one with bad thoughts? Of course the teacher would say, I did it for your exams and
The future will be good, but if this happens, there will be problems in the process of shaping the spiritual system.
We often encounter all kinds of incompatible things in society.
We laugh at it and treat it as normal, but one day, these things will seep into the details of your spirit bit by bit. Once I was chatting with a friend on the plane. He was a rich man, but he said: "My most in one month,
I have an income of 4.5 million, but I still feel unsettled. I can only make more money, but how much can I earn to be secure?"
Four and a half million a month is still not practical. For some people, this is a vain moan, right? Is it pretentious? But I think it must not be a question of money. He may not know it, but he can still only continue.
make money.
This chapter is not over, please click on the next page to continue reading! No matter whether we are poor or rich, I think there must be deficiencies of one kind or another in our generation. We pursue something, but in the end, what we pursue is
We can't comfort ourselves. Only at the end, we feel anxiety and the weight of life.
I would like to attribute my own problems to the inability of the literary and spiritual circles in the past thirty years. In the best hope, the environment in which I live should give me a harmonious spirit, but I really cannot blame every one of them.
As a person, I can’t even blame the literary circle, because our previous damage was so great. But if we put it here, when the traditional literary circle continues to be barren and shrinking, and the truths they preach are increasingly unable to impress people, we can only say:
"Some people persisted" and "tried their best". How to account for the sacrifices of the next generation?
Since we have so many good things, why not study on our own, study entertainment, study delivery, and try to infect as many people as possible without compromising?
Some time ago, I don’t know whether Tsinghua University or Peking University, a professor who studies Internet literature led students to post articles on the website. After a period of time, they only received a few hundred clicks. It was commonly known as the buzz. They were very surprised. Some press releases showed "I can't."
"Write low-level things like online articles well" - of course, this may not be the performance of the students themselves, and press releases may also stir up trouble. But their basic attitude is wrong in the first place. If universities can sincerely combine entertainment and
Connotation is regarded as literary factors accounting for 50% of the importance - I am talking about sincere propaganda. Perhaps in less than ten years, the current Internet literary circle will no longer exist.
However, for people in the upper class, this is a dangerous thing. It may be common to stand on the side of entertainment or on the side of connotation. Only those who stand on the mean side may be the most common.
Easily vulnerable.
However, this is a society of 1.4 billion people, and 1.4 billion people are mentally poor. People laugh at housewives for watching soap operas, but never take the initiative to change her - thinking that this cannot be done. People with high spiritual levels are aloof, as if waiting
Is it possible that one day these housewives suddenly like their things? After people leave school, there is no compulsion to study. People can live a lifetime of mental poverty, but one day they suddenly feel that something is missing.
, the world has just changed for the worse, on the other hand, even schools have almost zero compulsion to shape people’s spirits.
How much appeal do the moral articles in textbooks have to convince today's students? One day I helped a friend read a paper (the friend is not the author), and one of the paragraphs is as follows (you don't need to read it carefully):
"Higher education is at the top of education and plays a guiding role. The scale and level of a country's higher education development often become a symbol of the scale and level of the country's educational development. It is also a symbol of the country's science and technology, civilization and comprehensive national strength.
.The material civilization of a country depends crucially on the level of science and technology in the country. Similarly, the level of science and technology in a country mainly depends on the scale and level of the country’s educational development, especially the scale and level of the development of higher education. Therefore, improving the country’s higher education
The quality and level of education…”
I’m not going to say there are big problems with this essay, but there is one thing that really concerns me. This may be just the author’s negligence, but... where is the spiritual civilization? When we talk about higher education, why do we focus on material civilization?
, spiritual civilization is not mentioned at all?
It would be too much for me to overgeneralize with a paper like this. But one thing is actually obvious: the impact of higher education on spiritual civilization... is not as high as we think.
My friend studied a subject related to education. When I talked about this with him, I said that our education is probably facing the biggest problem in history. The popularization of knowledge has not actually led to the improvement of people's education level.
Because in ancient times, the word education was to shape the outlook on life and teach children how to behave. Nowadays, the proliferation of knowledge has led to the disappearance of authority. If a ten-year-old child says a second grade sentence and puts it on the Internet, it will
Ten thousand people who are equally average come over and huddle together for warmth. When authority disappears, correctness also disappears. Any ideas a person has while growing up will not be given a chance to be revised. With a different point of view, where do people want to sit?
Just sit wherever you go, without thinking, there must be 10,000 people sitting with you. What will happen to such a person when he grows up?
And the second half of my growth was also like this.
Schools can only impart knowledge. Without the power to shape the outlook on life, society will be even less powerful. The speculations and experiences that could have been used to shape people are suspended at the highest level. Why can't they be added as part of entertainment and put aside?
Come down, just like adding bait, to attract people?
So later on, I no longer wanted to be such a traditional writer. I still admired those who studied theory very much. But in other directions, I thought that the direction of my life could be decided here, so I
Be a kitsch internet writer for the rest of your life and do this thankless job of combining exploration...
If thirty years later, someone says that my spirit has been shaped like this by the world, you are responsible. I can only say that as one in 1.4 billion, as a writer who wants to learn from Lu Xun
, I also tried my best.
After talking about such a long pile of nonsense, many people are going to be annoyed, or are already annoyed. But no matter what, I am thirty years old, and these things that are middle-class, silly, or whimsical are the reasons why I have become the root of my thinking.
, is something I want to keep at the age of thirty.
Back to original.
I am thirty years old, and my life has been good and bad. I still live in that small town. I write books, and I often rack my brains and get stuck. But because of the tolerance and support of my book friends, my life is still passable. My health does not count.
Well, I occasionally suffer from insomnia and toss and turn. If I am in the Cavern stage, my life will often lose its order due to anxiety. The house prices in the town are not high. I saved a lot of money and bought a house by the lake a month ago.
The first floor overlooks a very good scenery. After a year of handing over the apartment and moving in, my brother will no longer have to sleep on the original balcony at home.
This chapter is not over, please click on the next page to continue reading! I occasionally go out for a walk, and if the code words are in order, I can also run to exercise. Sometimes I have one or two friends, sometimes not. My most common pastime is a
People go to the cinema to watch the newly released blockbuster movies. Although it is located on the busiest pedestrian street in the town, the cinema is often reserved. Fortunately, I have no interest in horror movies. Since the entire life circle is only within a fifteen-minute walk.
, I can’t drive yet, and I don’t plan to learn to drive or buy a car, so that’s it.
I often can't be sincere to my friends because I have too many thoughts in my mind and use my brain too much. I often forget that someone called me to wish me a happy birthday today. It's someone I've talked to many times.
I didn’t save his phone number, and I forgot his name. This may not be the first time this happens. Sometimes I say hello when I meet for the first time, and then when I go out to meet him, I ask again: “Who are you?” It’s often embarrassing, and every time I feel
Therefore, I think the most sincere way is to make fewer friends, so I have to narrow my life circle. If you are my friend, please forgive me.
Of course, there are also friends with stronger relationships. Sometimes we go out to travel together to relax and unwind, but we never rush to see the attractions. We don’t want to be in a hurry.
In this way, it seems to be all my life.
Compared with the time when I grew up playing in the mud and breathing the smoke from the cement factory, many things are getting better. I often miss and think of the ruined life and the bad habits I developed in the midst of extremes and paranoia.
, but nothing can be changed.
So, instead of sighing, just look at yourself and feel sorry for yourself...