"I have been kidnapped my whole life, kidnapped by my parents' upbringing, and kidnapped by my identity as the eldest sister."
"I couldn't see my parents working so hard, so I always wanted to share the burden with them. After all, they gave birth to me. My elderly parents, who were in poor health, and my younger brothers and sisters made it impossible for me to be ruthless and careless. I gradually fell into a complete moral trap.
Trapped, my whole life is about self-sacrifice and dedication. Even if I wake up suddenly from time to time, I will be forced to forget by the trivial matters of life. I can't be cruel at all when facing them."
"People around me say that my parents gave birth to me, and I will repay them throughout my life."
"My parents said that as the eldest sister, I should take care of my younger siblings. My younger siblings will definitely repay me when they grow up and will not forget me as their elder sister."
"I also showed reluctance at the beginning, but there were comments from all sides about me being unfilial, my parents raising me in vain, and their pitiful faces. I was bound and surrounded by these accusations, and slowly I was transformed by them.
He became the person who worked hard and never complained."
"When my younger siblings grew up, my parents told me, as the eldest sister, to take more care of them. When they were dying, they told me the same thing, as if I was born to owe them."
"Looking back at my life, what have I achieved?"
"I am too tired of living in this life."
"In the days before my death, I hated myself a little. Why couldn't I be more cruel? Obviously no one thought about me. They didn't care about me. They just pretended to be pitiful and used family affection to kidnap me and oppress me. Why didn't I resist?
Why can’t you go far away?”
Qian Yan: "If you are in the middle of a game and cannot see the whole picture, you will inevitably become confused and deceived by all the illusions."
The sad expression on the face of the white-haired woman holding the teacup froze, and she slowly raised her head, her eyes a little confused. After a while, she lowered her head again, and her voice was gentler than before: "I thought you would say pitiful
There must be something hateful about those people, they will spurn people like me, they will think that I deserve it, or they will kick me out, and they will not help me realize my wish."
Qian Yan took a sip from the tea cup and said: "Knowing the truth, but still stubborn, the desire conflicts with my ideas, so I will drive them out. If your wish is to make your parents, younger brothers and sisters understand you and treat you well,
Family reunion, this conflicts with my philosophy and will drive you out."
"This shouldn't be your wish, right?"
The white-haired woman quickly shook her head: "I have been kidnapped for a lifetime. It is really hopeless to have such a stupid wish again."
"Then why should I spurn you? You are not a god, you are just an ordinary person. You were mentally controlled by a group of people and fell into the quagmire unable to struggle out. In this floating world, how many people can keep their minds clear at all times? They were all once
Your relatives, you are soft-hearted and don't want to see them suffer. This is human nature. Moreover, they are so good at pretending to be pitiful and brainwashing you all the time. No one will remind you that you are so busy that you can't even take a bite of hot food and your head just hangs.
You can fall asleep on the pillow, so you don’t have so much time to think. When you come back to your senses, your whole life has passed."
The white-haired woman cried loudly and painfully. Yes, she was most awake during the two days before her death;
Lying on the hospital bed, looking at the ceiling, reminiscing about her life, because these days were the most leisurely, she finally figured it out.