There are thirty-one days in October, 17 days of absence, and the updated word count is 6W9.
There are thirty days in November, 11 days of absence, and the updated word count is 8W.
Apart from anything else, compared to the past two months, have I made any progress? (Gotou)
Okay, no more kidding.
I am guilty of failing to give everyone a good update.
Many readers have told me in the group to support me, saying that the book is not ugly, and asking me to update it and write it down.
I understand it all, and I understand it all, but it’s not that I can’t write it, it’s that I can’t find the person I used to be.
To say that the passion has been lost is not to say no. I have been on the road for several years, but I still have this problem of passion.
If there are any direct issues, I would probably say two.
The first is Banxia's own reality, and the second is the issue of expectations for the work.
First of all, if you observe carefully, you will find that the update time is unstable in the past two months, and most of the update times are in the early morning between 24:00 and 6:00 in the morning.
Just like now, I coded this summary for you at this point in time.
Anyone who knows Banxia in the V group knows that my family situation is not too bad, but it does not mean that there is no problem. My family's expectations of me are not low, and I have a lot to do every day.
Before the epidemic, it didn’t matter if I stayed at home and wrote code books every day.
But after the epidemic got better, I still updated code words every day as before. I was switching between work and code words every day. My mental state became worse and I became less fond of going out.
My family is very resistant to my writing. In the eyes of the older generation, there is no way out by writing books, and they don't think that I am that talented person.
But as everyone knows, Ban Xia has never expected to be the guy who can stand out from the crowd and stand out from the crowd of authors. Even if there is no way out, I still want to write slowly with the mentality of writing a work.
However, even if your goals are different, you still cannot avoid updating them every day, and your family will not understand them even more.
If I had good grades and my monthly manuscript fee could reach a standard of eight thousand or more, they wouldn't be so resistant.
After they learned that my work was not in good condition, I couldn't make much money at all, and I had to spend hours on it every day, which affected my daily routine, real work, etc...
In the eyes of my family, my book writing is full of problems. It is difficult for me to refute it. I tried, but I couldn't win in a mixed doubles match.
But after all, my body is my own. Even if they accuse me and reprimand me, they still can't stop me from writing a book.
Because of this, my family also went around the corner and gave me realistic problems. It sounded funny to everyone, but it was so true.
I have a lot of busy things to do every day now, and I can't refuse them. As a result, it's already close to early morning when I get home every day.
After I went back and took a shower, I felt a little tired again. I lay on the chair and stared at the computer in a daze. I had to be in a daze for an hour or two before I could recover and then I could code.
That's why you will see that most of my updates in the past two months have been in the early morning.
After finishing coding, the state of getting up every day became even worse. Day after day, the state was not better, and there were more and more complaints at home.
This is currently the current situation of Banxia.
Let’s talk about the second question, which is the issue of expectations for the work.
Before I started the book, I wrote it with the purpose of writing it well. Now that I have put in the effort, I naturally thought that my grades would get better.
But this is not the case. After all, it is not particularly bad. I can keep writing, and my grades are getting better as I write.
However, after Da Da's unfortunate incident, my grades declined, and I couldn't stop it or get it back.
I thought everyone would accept it. After all, I have been here for so long and watched the plot for so long. After understanding the cause behind the unfortunate incident, I can understand this setting arrangement.
But I took it too naturally, and it also seemed like I was very egotistical.
Only belatedly, I discovered that in fact, those who chose to read works in the daily love category wanted to see sweeter stories, the back and forth of swords in ambiguity, the intertwining of love, and the story of fulfilling happiness.
Instead of a setting that requires a girl like me to be unlucky, there is no need for suspense, no need for e-sports, no need for business, no need for growth...
Before the unfortunate incident broke out, I was tracking a stable number of more than 200 24 hours a day.
But after the incident, the number of subscriptions began to decline. Until a month ago, the number of subscriptions was no more than 100. Deducting part of the automatic subscriptions, it is equivalent to saying that there are only a few readers who follow my book every day.
About ten people.
It is false to say that the mentality has no impact. The consequences of this kind of results and the outbreak of the incident undoubtedly prove that what I wrote is wrong. This is my problem.
But I still thought naively at the time that as long as I wrote well, everyone would understand me and my grades would still turn around.
However, the reality is that lost readers will not come back, and very few new readers will choose to continue to support.
Just like a swing of a sickle, not a single blade of grass will grow.
The more I wrote, the more I questioned myself. Coupled with my actual situation, I deeply doubted whether my own choice was completely wrong.
In the past, I still had expectations for "Unlucky in Love", hoping that it would turn around, that it would grow step by step, and that even if it fell, it shouldn't be too bad.
But now, I can no longer write with a hopeful attitude. Everyday coding is like coping, and it is difficult to return to the previous state. I get off work in the afternoon, pick up the keyboard in the evening and just code, and it’s thousands of words every day.
mentality.
Because at that time, the first order results of "Unlucky in Love" were quite poor, but the results have been improving, which is worth looking forward to.
The negation of the work and the negation of the reality around me really makes me feel sad. Every time I go home and look at the computer, I feel confused for a while because I am no longer sure whether it is right for me to persist in this way.
Even the authors around me, including the editor, advised me.
If it doesn't work, withdraw it, hand in an outline and start a new book, it's no use dragging yourself.
They all said that based on my experience as a street writer, I can be regarded as a well-established author. If I figure out a clear idea and write a normal main story with a little innovation, my results will not be worse than what I am now, and I can even expect to get good results.
Rather than the current dead end.
But I have said before in the group and in the book that I have always written "Unlucky in Love" with the mentality of being the last book.
This book carries many memories of me chasing books and observing things when I was young. Among them, the one that had the greatest impact on me was Right and Fei (I used to call him "Brother Right and Fei", but now I have to call him Uncle).
It can be said very directly that when I write urban life-type plots, familiar readers can basically see that there are shadows of right and wrong in me.
Okay, let’s not talk about this.
To sum up the above, the problem of Pinellia not being able to be updated stably lies in the above two points.
As for the rest, they are all minor issues and not worth talking about.
To put it simply, my family resisted and my grades were not ideal, which made me deeply doubt myself.
Faced with the persuasion of friends and editors, I did not want to cut the book again.
I guess after I finish "Unlucky in Love", I don't know whether I will write another book or not. Even if I continue to write, I probably won't write urban books again.
During this time, I often thought that no matter how miserable my grades were, I only had two choices.
Either cut up the book and run away, be cruel and happy soon.
Either work harder and write a book, my grades won't get better anyway, speed up my coding speed, and work hard to finish "Unlucky in Love", at least to live up to my expectations for the classification of urban life.
Since I don’t value grades anymore, and I can’t be so determined to cut the book, and it’s awkward to hesitate, it’s better to write the book with the mentality of finishing it early and liberating it early. Maybe this mentality is more suitable for me at the moment.
But I am somewhat resistant to this mentality, after all, it greatly affects my intention in writing.
But I will try my best to reconcile it.
I will try my best to change into a good mood and mentality, code words well for everyone, and try my best to write the story well for everyone.
If you like it, then so be it. If you don't like it, I can only be very sorry.
(bow)
Welcome everyone to support me in Banxia V group~
Readers from other sites can only read the introduction and join the general group. Although there are many people in the general group, almost no one talks.
If readers from other sites want to join the V group, they can only support Qidian APP works to join with one click...
Okay, one last thing!
If you like "Unlucky in Love" very much, you can recommend the book to your friends who also like reading~
By the way!
Please give me monthly votes and recommend votes!
(comparison)
2021.12.2
5:55 am
Recommended new book by urban master Lao Shi:
Please remember the first domain name of this book: ._