Chapter 1787 Tell a joke, tell an interesting story
The Zichen Hall was the place where Emperor Liu went to court. The Qianyuan Hall in Luoyang was the place where great dynasties and grand ceremonies were held. For a small dynasty like this in ordinary times, Emperor Liu chose the Zichen Hall. Although it is not as magnificent as the Qianyuan Hall, the Zichen Hall
It is also a relatively large palace complex in Luojing Imperial City.
In the Zichen Hall, Emperor Liu was still high up, looking down at the ministers, civil and military officials, all standing in the hall obediently and respectfully. Of course, not all the courtiers gathered together for such a small court meeting. According to the "Hui Dian" system, except for the political affairs hall
In addition to the ministers, the three government offices of the Forbidden Army, and some special missions, and the subordinate officials, all subordinate departments and offices took turns to report to the court as scheduled. Otherwise, if all the officials were present, a lot of time would be wasted just discussing matters.
However, in the past twenty years, due to Emperor Liu decentralizing power and not going to court for a long time, this system has not been implemented, and government affairs are still handled by the Zhengshitang.
What is surprising is that in the past six months, Emperor Liu's frequency of going to court has increased significantly. Even though he is not as diligent as in the early years, he still attends five or six times a month.
The sun was already high, and the warm spring light penetrated into the palace, but it did not bring much relaxation and brightness to the mood of the ministers. After the ceremony, they all quietly waited for Emperor Liu to speak.
Emperor Liu, on the other hand, made what he thought was a relaxed posture, smiled, and said: "I haven't been to court for a few days. I am in a good mood today. I will not talk about state affairs for now and tell you a joke!"
As soon as he said this, all the ministers looked at each other in confusion. I wonder why the old emperor is going to do something wrong again? While they were confused, they subconsciously became a little more careful in their hearts.
"I respectfully listen to His Majesty's instructions!" Zhao Kuangyi came out and cupped his hands.
"Don't be so serious, it's just a joke for entertainment!" Emperor Liu waved his hand and said leisurely: "It's not complicated. I had a dream last night about the former Han Dynasty Emperor Liu Che. Of course, he was in his later years.
Emperor Wu.
I have to say, that overbearing and willful attitude is really annoying. He has a gray head, and he is obviously old and twilight, but he is still arrogant and arrogant, and he even asked me to kowtow to him. Guess, I am
How did you respond?"
Everyone was extremely surprised to hear Emperor Liu talk about such a dream without any explanation. However, their faces gradually became serious. Before the story was finished, it already had an unusual meaning.
"The merits of Emperor Wu are unparalleled, but His Majesty's merits are far greater. Even if we meet in a dream, it is Emperor Wu who should salute His Majesty!" Wang Zhu took the initiative to respond, wanting to be the one to praise him.
When Emperor Liu heard this, he glanced at him and said softly: "When you say this, do you also think that I am the Emperor Wu?"
"I don't dare!" Upon hearing this, Wang Zhu suddenly trembled like chaff, and his mind frantically warned, "Danger!" He secretly thought, "Oh no, I said the wrong thing again."
However, Emperor Liu did not care too much and just continued to tell: "I originally respected Emperor Wu as a hero of his generation, with great achievements. He opened up the territory for China and made strong men stand tall in the sky of the universe. No one dares to be brave.
However, he refused to give up and boasted in front of me about his achievements, such as reforming the system, extending grace orders, and unifying the country, driving the Huns from the north, pacifying Ouyue in the south, and expanding into the Western Regions. He was so complacent.
As a result, I only asked two questions, which left him speechless and ashamed. Gentlemen, please guess which two questions I was talking about?"
Regarding this question, whether it was Li Fang, Zhao Kuangyi, Wang You, Lu Duan and other ministers, or other civil servants, their expressions changed drastically, and they were obviously guessing. Even Yang Ye, the newly appointed Minister of War, was also thoughtful.
If Wang Zhu dared to talk to the first question, then everyone did not dare to speak and remained silent on this one. They only hoped that Emperor Liu's "interest" would pass quickly.
Seeing no one answered, Emperor Liu glanced around, landed on Prince Liu Yang, and said, "Prince, tell me."
When Liu Yang heard the sound, his body tensed up, he stepped out of the queue and cupped his hands and said: "I'm sorry for being stupid, I really don't know!"
Hearing this, Emperor Liu felt bored, sighed, and said slowly: "I only ask Emperor Wu, but he still remembers the disaster of witchcraft and the edict of sin! I am afraid that the ministers cannot imagine the reaction of Emperor Wu, and they are furious, and It’s so shameful, it’s really interesting!
As for the comparison of achievements, I only asked him whether he knew Liuqiu or the Nanyang Islands? In the end, the Emperor Wu had nothing to say and walked away with his sleeves covered."
"Hahaha" Emperor Liu's laughter was not high-pitched, but it vibrated in the palace and reached everyone's ears. However, it seemed a little embarrassing to hear only one person's laughter.
Emperor Liu also noticed it. He looked down and saw that all his ministers had tense faces and solemn expressions. Some of them were even sweating. He looked at Liu Yang again. His face remained calm, but half of his sleeves were exposed. But his hands were held tightly, showing the turmoil in his heart.
"I'm not laughing at all. Isn't this story funny?" Emperor Liu looked puzzled: "Although it's absurd, I think it's quite interesting."
Emperor Liu was laughing and chatting there easily, but the ministers in the palace were really not in such a mood. They even tried to agree and apologize, but it was easier to remain silent.
Seeing that no one agreed, Emperor Liu's interest finally cooled down. After thinking for a while, he said: "That's all, it's just a joke, just for fun, so I won't mention it!"
It can be seen that as Emperor Liu finished speaking, everyone subconsciously breathed a sigh of relief. Emperor Liu had a panoramic view, calmly, and said slowly: "I will tell you one more interesting story!"
"It's about the affairs of the current dynasty. There is such an official who never does anything by himself. For example, when going to the toilet, it is said that four maids are required to serve him. The maids must be young and beautiful, and those over 20 are not required. , one person holds a fan, another person holds an incense burner, another person holds toilet paper, and another person is responsible for wiping buttocks
Hahaha. Do you think this is strange or not? Is this person strange?"
The ministers in the palace once again had expressions of astonishment on their faces. Emperor Liu actually brought such dirty things as going to the toilet to the Golden Palace. However, the astute courtiers all noticed that someone was going to be unlucky. What they were curious about was who. To live such a "delicate" life?
Emperor Liu stopped laughing. He looked around and his tone suddenly turned serious: "Which minister is this talking about? Are you in the palace? Stand up and let everyone have a look, and let me have a look too!"
After saying this, the courtiers in the palace began to look around. They were not allowed to wait too long. A man walked out from the back row of courtiers. He trembled and fell to the ground before he reached the middle: "I am guilty! I am guilty!"
"Who is this?" Emperor Liu's eyes were like knives, stabbing at Luoyang Prefect Lu Mengzheng.
Lu Mengzheng was also full of fear. He lowered his head and clasped his fists and said, "Return to your majesty, Judge Zheng Xu of Luoyang Mansion!"
"What grade is the judge of Luoyang Prefecture?" Emperor Liu asked again.
"From the fourth grade!"
"How big of an official do I think I am? What a high rank I am! I'm really curious. Surrounded by four people, I can't poop like this!" Emperor Liu patted the handle of the throne with all his strength.
At this movement, all the ministers trembled and bowed their heads in unison. Zheng Xu, the judge of Luoyang Prefecture, kowtowed and kept shouting: "I am guilty! I am guilty!"
Seeing this, Emperor Liu leaned forward with a ferocious expression on his face: "What I'm more curious about is, was your Luoyang Mansion's judgment written by someone else?"
This time, Zheng Xu changed his words: "I deserve to die! I deserve to die!"
There was silence in the palace, the air was almost solid, and only the voice of "I deserve to die" was left. After a while, Emperor Liu sat up straight and said softly: "The ministers also heard it. Zheng Xu has always said that he deserves to die. Since
He also feels that he deserves to die, so I will make it happen for him."
"The guards in the palace, drag this man out and kill him!"
"yes!"
Amid Zheng Xu's sad cry of "spare my life", the dignified judge of Luoyang Prefecture ended his life just like that. Before going to court, he did not ask his family to prepare a coffin, so he had no foresight.
"How did you, Luoyang Mansion, fail to educate your subordinates well?" Zheng Xu was beheaded, and Emperor Liu turned his attention to Lu Mengzheng, who had been in office for less than half a year.
Lu Mengzheng's face was tense and he responded: "I have committed the crime of neglecting supervision and teaching. Please punish me!"
"I will fine you a salary for half a year to see the effects!"