She is beautiful, her family has money, she wears endless famous brands, and she enjoys endless costumes and jewelry...
But she is the only one who can never find the good things about herself.
I often feel very weak during sex.
So much so, that in her previous life, she often asked herself: "Why do I have to live like this? Why can't I escape from the black hole in my heart even though I struggle with all my strength?"
There are also people around her who are jealous of her.
But she secretly envied others for having a complete family.
In her last life, she was far from being able to be like she is now, generously accepting her parents' family and treating people who had no blood relationship with her as family members, and she would never be able to live in harmony with her family and the people around her like she is now.
.
Intimacy and interpersonal relationships are a difficult proposition in her life.
She will never be able to get warmth and love in such a complicated and huge family environment.
The more you cannot accept, the less you can integrate, the more lonely you will be.
When she was particularly depressed, she, like the girl who passed away, thought: "Why did I have to be born? Is it true that only death can end the pain of this life?"
However, she did not have the courage to die.
She was afraid that if the pain in this life did not end, would she have to live like this again in the next life?
Someone said: "Go and pray to God, God can save you."
But this is another difficult journey.
So, what is the meaning of the existence of soul and body?
Later, she found the answer in her faith:
"Prince Sakyamuni said: 'Everything in life is suffering, even gods and Buddhas have to go through tribulations, let alone mortals?'
Even if there are no evil causes and no evil consequences, there are still many unintentional injuries, unwilling separations, maybe life and death are uncertain in ten years, and maybe we will never meet again.
What to do after the pain passes?
What should I do if the pain never goes away?
I can only keep correcting myself and tell myself that all the sufferings I encounter are just the gravel of a clam shell, a gift from God, and a gift from the future.
This is growth, persevering in pain, waiting, accumulating courage, and learning lessons.
I hope that time will pass and leave a gentle me, a better me, a cracked but stronger me."
Whatever calamity a person encounters, there will be the same fate.
Constantly admitting mistakes, calibrating, and getting up and walking again, this is growth.
No one can replace yourself except yourself.
But this is life, a life that only belongs to her.
Fortunately, after this long journey, she has also reached the day when she can see the light again.
Just when Ning Youguang was immersed in his own thoughts.
Over there, Ming Jinxin's topic happened to turn to her:
"Yes, yes, have you been busy at school recently?"
"It's not bad, the research lab's project is coming to an end."
"That's good." Ming Jinxin immediately smiled, "That's it, I have a friend who wants you to do a case for his nephew. His nephew has a special situation and is unwilling to see a psychiatrist. He asked me after asking
Here, I would like to ask you to help his nephew. If you are willing to take his case, remuneration is not a problem."
"Aren't there still classes in school? You were so busy some time ago. Let's take some rest first." Ning Yi frowned slightly and interrupted.
Knowing that he was concerned about her, Ning Youguang smiled at him and said, "I can do it, Dad. I've had a good rest these days and I just have some time."
Turning around, she replied to Ming Jinxin, "Auntie, I need to see the client first, and then I can decide whether to take his case or not."
"That's what it should be." Ming Jinxin nodded, "Whenever is convenient for you, I'll tell my friends."
"I'll wait and check the schedule. If there's no big problem, there won't be any classes tomorrow afternoon, so you can go check it out."
"Okay, okay, then let me know when you have determined the time."
…
There are classes the next morning.
That night, Ning Youguang had dinner at home, sat for a while, and then drove alone back to the place where she lived - the single teacher dormitory arranged for her by the school at the beginning of the month.
This dormitory is one of the school's staff dormitories, with an area of less than 40 square meters, one bedroom and one living room, with a kitchen and private bathroom.
What makes Ning Youguang most satisfied is that the dormitory assigned to her is on the first floor, and there is a small courtyard behind the small apartment. In the courtyard, there are various kinds of roses planted by the old professor and her lover who used to live here.
Hydrangea, camellia, etc.
When the flowers bloom, the scenery in the small yard is particularly beautiful.
When she passed by here before, every time she saw the flowers in bloom in the yard, she often couldn't help but take photos to share with friends, family, and netizens.
Unexpectedly, she was so lucky this time and this dormitory was assigned to her.
So, after the school assigned her this dormitory, she couldn't wait to move in.
She planned to tidy up the yard when she had free time in the past few days and add some flowers and plants to make the scenery in the yard richer.
When they grow up in summer, her yard will be even more beautiful.
…
Ning Youguang woke up at six o'clock in the morning and opened his eyes. He heard the rain pattering outside the window.
Suddenly, she felt inexplicably moved in her heart.
I lay lazily on the bed and listened quietly to the sound of rain for nearly ten minutes before slowly getting up.
After washing up, I went to the kitchen to make a pot of coffee, toasted two slices of bread, put them on a plate, and brought them to the living room to prepare for dinner.
Before eating, I suddenly thought of the child in the United States and wondered what he was doing.
I took a photo and sent it over.
[Sister: [Picture] Good morning, what are you doing?]
Soon, the message came back from there.
[Child: [Picture] is busy in the company and getting ready to get off work.]
[Sister: Go back and rest early. I’m home, here’s a message.]
[Child: OK, smiley face jpg.]
[Sister: Be good jpg.]
2023, April 15, Weibo.
[A person who likes the ordinary: The bright moon hangs high in the night sky, it is spring now, I think of you, and my heart is complete.]
…
After sending a WeChat message to Shi Wangyue, Ning Youguang turned on the Bluetooth speaker in the room, and cheerful and peaceful classical music slowly sounded in the room.
On such a beautiful morning, you should listen to Mozart.
It is the happy, peaceful, auspicious and bright side of Orpheus.
everything's ready.
Ning Youguang was about to sit down on the single sofa chair by the window in the living room to have breakfast, listen to Mozart and watch the rain, when there was a knock on the door, "Dong, dong, dong...".
The knock on the door was very regular and gentle.
She turned around and opened the door. Standing outside the door was a middle-aged lady with a friendly appearance, a round face, and an elegant look. She was Teacher Li, the wife of Professor Chen next door.
She was holding a printed plate in her hand, which contained four steaming white, plump and soft buns.
The purpose of the other party's visit is self-evident.
"Teacher Li, please come in quickly." She chuckled.
A girl in plain clothes, in her early twenties, with a delicate and clean face, as beautiful as an orchid in an empty valley, and a calm and bookish air.
It is really pleasing to see such a beautiful girl so early in the morning.
The smile on Teacher Li's face became even more obvious.
She walked in carrying the buns with a smile, "Teacher Xiao Ning, I just made some buns this morning. I'll give you a few. You can try them to see if they taste good. If they taste good, I'll bring them to you next time.
"
"Wow, it smells so good. Thank you, Teacher Li."
Ning Youguang happily took her plate and buns, carried them, turned around and went to the kitchen.
After waiting in the kitchen to put the buns on her own plate and wash Teacher Li's plate, she returned to the living room with Teacher Li's plate and buns.
Teacher Xiao Ning is so famous in the National University of Science and Technology, and Teacher Li has known her for several years.
Today was the first time I entered her place.
While she was packing the buns, she took a general look at the environment in front of her and said in surprise:
"Teacher Xiao Ning, there are so few things in your room."
Such a small dormitory will look crowded if you just put some things there.
Teacher Li has been to many teachers' residences, including hers. The layouts are all the same, but most of them are filled with things. It is rare that they are so empty and comfortable.
"The desire for things is confusing. If there is more than one thing, it will be more and more burdensome. If you can have less, you can have less, and everything will be at ease."
The girl stood in front of him holding a bun, her posture was casual and indescribably elegant, her delicate face was full of smiles, she was good-looking, had a nice voice, and spoke well.
Teacher Li took the plate she handed over and nodded repeatedly: "That's it, that's it. Nowadays, there are so many materials, and everything is very convenient. There is really no need to put so many things at home. Some daily necessities are enough. It's rare.
What’s amazing is that you understand this truth at such a young age.”
Ning Youguang smiled and said, "Have Teacher Li had breakfast?"
"I just ate two steamed buns. The plate I gave you was the second one I steamed. I get up early now that I'm older. When the first steamed buns were cooked, I didn't bring them to you because I was afraid of disturbing your sleep.
I ate them all at home, and I just smelled the aroma of your coffee at home, so I came over and knocked on the door."
Teacher Li is also a wonderful person. He is about fifty years old and close to retirement age. In addition to working and studying, he loves to cook delicious food at home.
I always make too much and my family can’t finish it, so I deliver it upstairs and downstairs.
The building they live in now is an old house.
The people living in the building are all the school's faculty and staff and their families. The older ones, such as Professor Chen and Teacher Li, have lived here for more than ten or twenty years.
Not many young people like Teacher Xiaoning can live here.
But the teachers upstairs and downstairs have known her for several years. After all, she was a student in the school before, and she was still the kind of student who was popular in the school and is still a famous figure in the National University of Science and Technology.
In the past few years, there are few people at the National University of Science and Technology, from teachers to students, who do not know her.
Living in the same building, everyone is a high-level intellectual and knows each other. Everyone gets closer to each other than ordinary neighbors, but they can maintain relative propriety and independence from each other.
This is what Ning Youguang likes here.
"It's so delicious." She picked up the buns on the plate and took a big bite in front of Teacher Li.
The skin of the buns is soft and chewy, and the fillings in the buns are also delicious. They are vegetarian buns with fungus, carrots, vermicelli, and some chili powder. The taste is just right.
"Teacher Li also likes to eat vegetarian food every day, right?"
"Yes, our family's diet is relatively light and we don't like greasy food. What does Teacher Xiao Ning usually eat? If it suits your taste, we can come to our house for dinner in the future." Teacher Li invited with a smile.
She stared at Teacher Xiao Ning's beautiful face, she really liked it no matter what she looked at.
“Anything light is fine.”
"Good, good, light and good."
"Teacher Li, do you want coffee?"
"Okay, I just happened to have nothing to drink in the morning." Teacher Li also sat down in the living room generously.
…
After Teacher Li finished his cup of coffee, he took the plate and left with satisfaction.
Ning Youguang took advantage of the fact that there was still some time before class in the morning, clicked on his Weibo, and looked through it.
Her Weibo has nearly 10 million followers.
Since entering college, in addition to sharing professional psychological content and case experience on Weibo, she also answers questions from netizens and provides consultation to netizens as a charity.
today.
The question she chose in the comment area was a question from Weibo netizen "I'm OK": [I'm OK: Teacher, how can a person become gentle?]
[An ordinary person: Half of gentleness is knowledge, I wish you well! @我好]
After the post was posted on Weibo, netizens quickly retweeted, commented and liked it.
Through the mobile phone screen, the distance between people and their hearts has become closer.
Because they don’t know each other, they will forget about it after seeing it.
People can choose to reveal the sadness, love, enthusiasm, and sadness in their hearts that are difficult to express directly to strangers.
This is also the reason why she is so serious about running Weibo.
Because she knows:
Many people have unspeakable and tearful sorrow deep in their hearts, which cannot be revealed to those around them.
Even if you explain it, they won't understand it.
If I didn't use the virtual space of the Internet to be exposed, I would just meet someone like her who has the ability to give the other party answers and lend a helping hand.
It will remain unchanged forever, just like the snowflakes on a windless night quietly depositing in the bottom of my heart.1314