"Later I gradually understood that the anger I felt at that time came from my envy and jealousy of you, and also from my inferiority complex. But I didn't want to admit that I was jealous of you. I had a lot of problems in front of you.
I had a huge inferiority complex, so out of a conditioned reflex to protect myself, I chose to stay away from you, so that I could stay calm when facing you."
Ning Youguang had actually analyzed the reasons for Jiang Wei's alienation from her a long time ago. She could see that it was largely due to her inferiority complex and because she didn't want to owe her anything.
Girls who come from a slightly poorer family and are particularly strong have more or less such psychological characteristics. Behind their extreme pride is an extreme inferiority complex.
Always fighting for a breath, not wanting to take other people's things, not wanting to owe others, in other words, this kind of mentality can also be called "the character of the poor"
But the famous psychology master Hellinger once discussed a question:
[Why can an adult give and receive at the same time, but a mature child cannot?]
He said: "Giving is easier than receiving. When I give, I feel good about myself, as if I am above others, but when I receive, I seem to be below others, in a relatively low position."
Therefore, those people we meet in life who are loving and accepting with humility are truly great.
Because only by accepting with this attitude can people have the ability to give.
The beginning of giving is correct acceptance. A mature relationship is when both parties can accept what the other party gives equally and freely. Accepting what the other party gives is the most difficult part, because this is the deepest link, which means that both parties are in the same relationship.
A needed position, which forms a connection.
Only when a person opens his heart can he have the ability to accept. A truly open heart is free of any intention or desire for control.
When he was in college, Jiang Wei was sensitive, had low self-esteem, and was even a little self-isolated.
From the first moment she saw her, she could clearly see Jiang Wei's character traits, so when she usually shared things with her, she would usually give her one even if everyone had it.
Very expensive things caused both financial and psychological pressure on her.
For people who don't want to owe others, whenever they take something from others, their first thought is not "I'm so happy, I have a gift to receive again!" but "What should I repay him?".
So after living in the same dormitory for so long, whenever Jiang Wei gave her something, she basically chose to accept it.
Ning Youguang's heart turned over and over again, but a slight smile appeared on his fair and clean face:
"It seems that you are living a good life now, so I won't be polite." She generously put the bank card into her bag.
When Jiang Wei saw her accepting the bank card she gave him, he felt relieved.
"I'm really doing well now," she said with a smile, "I'm currently looking at houses and preparing to settle down in the capital."
"Congratulations." Ning Youguang was very happy to hear her good news, "It's really impressive that you can establish yourself in the capital on your own at such a young age."
Jiang Wei explained with a smile, "Our industry is equivalent to a sales industry. The more famous the artists we lead, the more we earn, and the more we earn. I am relatively lucky. The small artists I worked with before have developed in the past two years."
Very good, I will earn more."
"That's really good." Ning Youguang praised it.
"Actually, it's not that good." Jiang Wei sighed again, "I could have raised the down payment to buy a house earlier."
"Oh?" Ning Youguang picked up the tea cup and took a sip of tea.
"When I first joined our circle after graduation, I was under a lot of pressure. I often thought about how to do a good job and how to get a raise. I also often wanted to use my own way to get closer to the people around me, whether it was buying expensive things.
Whether it’s things, paying attention to luxury brands, paying attention to fashion to understand fashionable outfits, or even understanding the latest clothes and jewelry styles of some brands, it’s all so that everyone can talk more about this matter.
Others would say a few words, but that was all." Jiang Wei smiled bitterly, "Because I couldn't afford the things I paid attention to at the time."
She said, "When I first entered the industry, my salary was very low, lower than that of ordinary white-collar workers, and my life was relatively tense. This state lasted until I earned more in the first two years, but it got better...
"
A deep sense of fatigue appeared on Jiang Wei's delicate face, "After making a lot more, I suddenly have a state of irrational consumption. I just can't help but want to buy something I like when I see it. As long as
I buy everything I can afford to take home. I feel that I am very vain and exaggerated. I have to spend the money I earn, and I have to spend it where others can see it. I like to buy big brands, but every time I buy
When I go home and see the things at home, I feel like I am sick. In fact, there is no need to buy many of these things."
"Retaliatory consumption?" Ning Youguang asked with a smile.
"Absolutely." Jiang Wei took a sip of the tea in his cup.
Ning Youguang asked her again, "Is this situation getting better now?"
Jiang Wei said, "Yes, the situation has gotten better since last year."
Ning Youguang asked curiously, "Can I ask what was the opportunity that prompted your situation to improve?"
Jiang Wei thought for a while and said, "Once I took an artist to participate in a well-known fashion show. In the middle, I accompanied her to the bathroom to change clothes. She put on her dress, jewelry, etc., one by one.
The moment it was thrown on me and changed into my own clothes, I felt, 'Many of the high-end and beauty of people in this industry are packaged.' I suddenly realized that this kind of big-name brand and sophistication I pursue
It’s vanity and an illusion.”
"Later, it was Double Eleven, and I happened to be going to a ktv to give something to an artist I brought. When I opened the door and walked in, I saw a tall, thin, and very popular male star who I was very familiar with singing a single love song.
, I immediately thought, 'Oh, it turns out that such a famous star is no different from us when he celebrates Double Eleven, and he also sings single love songs in KTV...' I felt relieved a lot."
"I found that I am actually no different from those people who seem to be very powerful, outstanding, and extraordinary. In fact, I have also observed that many very awesome people also have a lot of troubles, stress, anxiety, depression, etc."
"Some people even suffer more than me. For example, if I want to get promoted or make more money, I can achieve it by working hard. But if artists and celebrities want to reach their ideal height, it is not just hard work.