But she didn't want Ning Youguang to think that she was a fool who didn't even know this, so she said, "What else could it be? I just like to be praised, envied, and praised by others."
"Absolutely correct." Ning Youguang agreed with her answer, "Then do you know the underlying reason behind this behavior?"
Xiaotian thought for a while and said, "I like this kind of life very much."
Ning Youguang smiled, "You can say that."
Xiaotian asked, "Then what do you think it is?"
"The deep-seated reasons are all written in their photos and words." Ning Youguang said. "Everywhere they say, 'I want to prove myself to myself, prove that I am worthy of such a life, house, job and lover.
Prove that you are valuable, loving and meaningful'."
This is also the saddest reason.
People often like to show off whatever they lack.
The life posted on social networks is getting better and better, and the distance between it and reality is getting wider and wider, and our hearts are becoming more and more disappointed, anxious, empty and separated.
Psychological research has found that the use of social networks reduces human happiness, not because "I feel that others are happier than me", but because when we compare our happiness with others, we feel that we are not so happy!
Xiaotian fell silent.
Ning Youguang continued, "Behind this proof is also a sense of existence. Why would a person have a sense of existence? It's because their inner sense of value is insufficient."
"Insufficient sense of intrinsic value?" Xiaotian asked, "Why is this so?"
"Because when they were children, they were often ignored and suppressed by their parents or caregivers, or compared with other children, so that their sense of existence could not be properly satisfied," Ning Youguang said, "Especially, especially when they are compared with other children.
Some people who were compared and suppressed when they were young may think that they are poor and therefore not liked by others. Showing off can prove that they are good and can be liked by others.”
“Everyone needs a sense of presence, but it will be expressed in different forms in everyone:
Some people will prove their importance by helping others, some people will prove their superiority by belittling others, and some people will prove their worth by surpassing others. There is only one goal behind all these behaviors.
That is to let more people 'see themselves', and for this 'seeing', they go to great lengths to show off their wealth, buy famous brands, and climb to a higher class... making themselves physically and mentally miserable."
In fact, the real psychological reason for showing off her wealth is that her caregivers and important people in her life owe her some attention.
She was ignored.
Maybe many people will feel hateful and disgusted when they see this kind of people. However, as a psychological worker, in Ning Youguang's heart, her feelings for Xiaotian are one of understanding and distress...
If a person can truly understand his own value in his heart, he will not show off his wealth.
In fact, they do this just to prove:
"I am important and I am worthy of being loved."
"Don't ignore me."
…
The girl's suppressed cries came from the quiet office.
Ning Youguang stood up and walked to the cabinet, took out a pack of napkins and quietly placed them on Xiaotian's legs. She did nothing else.
When Xiaotian changed from suppressed crying to howling and then to a break in crying, which lasted for more than ten minutes, Ning Youguang waited quietly.
After crying, Xiaotian covered her face and took out a napkin to wipe her face. She had already taken off her black sunglasses.
After all, she is an Internet celebrity, her makeup skills are very good, her makeup is very delicate, and it is also waterproof.
She cried for so long, and her face didn't look too ugly.
However, even through the thick makeup, Ning Youguang could see her thick dark circles in her eyes that were not blocked by sunglasses.
And her sunken cheeks.
She suddenly discovered that this girl actually had a pretty good foundation.
It was said on the Internet that she had undergone plastic surgery. She took a closer look and found that her nose had indeed been enlarged, her chin had been padded, and the corners of her eyes had been opened. But aside from this part of the plastic surgery, she could see that her original face was also very delicate.
The facial features are smooth and delicate, and even if she is not neat, she is a pretty girl.
After the plastic surgery, it became a bit less elegant and a bit more tacky and plasticky.
It's a bit of a loss.
When Ning Youguang quietly observed Xiaotian, Xiaotian's mood gradually stabilized.
"Teacher Ning, I think you are right. The reason why I have such a strong pursuit of material things is that my family has a great influence on me. My family conditions are average. My parents hardly gave me pocket money since I was a child. I wear expensive clothes.
I can't afford it. When I was in high school, my mother was still ill, which made my family even more difficult. One year during the Chinese New Year, my parents had no money to buy me new clothes, so they gave me a bunch of my cousin's old clothes to wear.
, I was wearing her old clothes to school and felt very embarrassed, but I was embarrassed to tell my classmates that I didn’t buy new clothes for the Chinese New Year, so I chose two newer ones from my cousin’s old clothes to wear to school.
I went to school and told my classmates that these were my new clothes for the Chinese New Year, but my classmates said that the clothes looked old. I felt so embarrassed at the time. Later, I became very fond of buying clothes, shoes, and clothes.
Bags, shopping and all kinds of shopping..." she said, "You know? I especially like to wear new brand names and dress up beautifully to meet my high school classmates, because I think this will make me happy in the future.
The shame I had in high school was gone.”
"I can understand." Ning Youguang said, "I think this kind of mentality is normal. Many people have this stage."
Xiaotian added, "Yes, and my parents have always thought that I am inferior to others, and they like double standards. No matter what I do, it is bad, and what I say is wrong, but people outside do what they do.
Everything is right, everything makes sense. Since they like others so much, why don’t they become other people’s parents? Why did they give birth to me? Now that I’m like this, they like to go around telling others that I don’t
alright."
She laughed at herself and said, "It doesn't matter to me. Anyway, I think it's them who caused me to be like this today. Since I'm not happy, then no one should want to be happy."
After listening to her words, Ning Youguang said gently, "All human actions are for the pursuit of happiness. Happiness is just a feeling that belongs to our hearts. It cannot be analyzed rationally or explained scientifically.
, let alone comparison. If we want to obtain happiness, there are two core elements, either to satisfy our desires or to stop our desires. We always have to choose one of the two." 1314