The two walked to the bed in the corner. The girl looked at Ning Youguang and said, "I feel it through my mother. People who don't grow up are really terrible. She will always be fixed in a certain way of thinking to the outside world, and she can't see the outside world.
When seeing other people, she cannot see the changes in the outside world, so she will always have only one way to treat others. For example, if I liked something more than ten years ago, but now I don’t like it, she doesn’t seem to see it, and she thinks I like it very much, and then
I didn't need it, and she was very angry that I didn't accept what she gave me. The problem was that she didn't understand at all. I didn't like those things anymore, and I didn't need her to do those things. She did what I needed her to do.
If she doesn’t do it, she thinks she’s going to do this or that if she doesn’t need to do it. When I don’t accept it, she gets angry and unhappy, acting like I owe her millions. The same goes for my brother. We really
I was speechless and very tired when I was with her."
"Then did you tell her you didn't like those things?" Ning Youguang asked.
"Yes," the girl said, "I told her I didn't want it, but she seemed to have completely blocked it and couldn't hear me."
"She has had knots in her heart for a long time." Ning Youguang said, "It seems that some things have violated her heart. She has not let go of them until they are cleared. It is similar to regrets. This has caused her to close herself and be unwilling to open it.
, the reason why you are unwilling to face new things, is your mother not in good health?"
"Yes." The girl said, "During the Chinese New Year last year, my mother had an operation for a thyroid nodule, but it reappeared during the physical examination this year. Although the doctor said it was nothing, my brother and I are very worried."
At this point, the girl was obviously anxious, "But my mother was not active in doing anything, not taking medicine, not being active in seeing a doctor. My brother and I took turns calling and urging her to take medicine every day, so she remembered that I
Dad said that the hospital prescribed Chinese medicine for her, and she often cooked it while simmering it. Because of this, my dad and my mom often quarreled."
"There are many reasons why my mother doesn't actively treat or take medicine when she is sick." Ning Youguang said, "You have to ask her the specific reasons why this is happening."
"I asked." The girl said weakly, "Asked her, she said she was fine, nothing was wrong, she just forgot. So my brother and I are really worried that my mother will have Alzheimer's disease in the future. The problem is that my mother will have Alzheimer's disease in the future.
Not only does she have thyroid nodules, but she also has cerebral thrombosis, tumors on her liver, and a whole body of illnesses. There is nothing wrong with her family now. Since she went for a physical examination and found out that she has such a health problem, my dad no longer needs her to do anything.
But she can’t even take care of her own health. My brother and I send her WeChat messages and call her every day, but if we forget about it one day, we might not remember it.”
The girl obviously felt very anxious and powerless, and there was pain in her eyes that she didn't know what to do.
Ning Youguang immediately comforted her and said, "Don't worry, it's okay."
She said, "Have you suggested that Mom see a psychiatrist?"
"Yes." The girl frowned, "I discussed it with my brother and my dad, but they don't seem to recommend that I see a psychiatrist."
"What about mother herself?" Ning Youguang asked again.
"My mother is silent. She doesn't say she's going or not going," the girl said.
"That means mom doesn't want to go." Ning Youguang chuckled, "She is simply not ready to face and solve her own problems."
"But my family is very worried." The girl said, "She takes medicine every day, and her body is still the same. She looks fine now, but the cancer is growing again after being cut. If she doesn't actively treat it, her growth rate will be very low."
Soon...the problem is that she doesn't listen to what we say, and she doesn't do anything herself, so she just goes her own way every day!"
The girl couldn't help but sigh deeply.
Ning Youguang said, "Then chat with her often. Whether it is you, brother or father, you must chat with her frequently. You must understand what is in her mind before talking about it, and she will be willing to open it up."
and acceptance, there are other possibilities.”
"She is very good at escaping. When asked her questions, she will do anything and then blame others." The girl said irritably, "This summer vacation, I paid special attention to her and accompanied her, but - at all
We can't talk about the fundamental issue. As soon as we talk about her, she runs away, either relying on others, or bringing up all the nonsense that happened for hundreds of years, or saying that this doesn't work and that doesn't work. I'm really angry.
I don’t have the patience to continue talking to her properly.”
"If she is like this, no doctor may be able to help her." Ning Youguang still said warmly.
The girl thought for a while and said, "Then I'd better think about how to talk to her."
"It's very simple." Ning Youguang guided the girl, "Just ask her if she is willing to face things that she is unwilling to face. This is of great benefit to her health. If she is willing, she will do it. If she is not willing, she will return it.
Not ready."
“Is there any specific entry point for unwillingness and willingness to ask?”
"Ask her if she is willing to face the pain deep in her heart. If she has the courage to face it, others can help her. At least it will help her body." Ning Youguang said, "But if the mother is not prepared, she will forcefully remove her."
If you drive her, she will be in pain."
"My brother and my dad said that it was mainly because of my mother's personality that she became what she is today. I think it was mainly because of her character."
"These are all speculations." Ning Youguang chuckled, "If you want to know more specifically, you should consult a professional doctor before deciding."
"Okay." The girl sighed.
"Stop thinking nonsense." Ning Youguang said, "Since we can't solve it now, let's wait for the opportunity."
"That's all it can do." The girl really felt that she had nothing to do with people like her mother.
She thought so in her heart, and the look on her face reflected it.
Ning Youguang stretched out his hand, gently helped her take off the two hair strands that fell on her shoulders, and comforted her softly, "When facing some immature parents, as a grown-up child, you just
Don’t think that your mother can always be your mother. In fact, your mother plays the role of your child most of the time. Because if your mother is not taken care of by her mother or her husband, she will
Let your children take care of her. So every time your mother gets angry with you, every time she is dissatisfied with you, every time she complains to you, she is actually treating you as a mother and hopes to learn from you.
Get some praise here. She needs you to give her some attention and give her some response. At that time, she is your baby. She is asking you for help. She needs your love and your care." 1314