She has successfully transformed into a psychiatrist, and has gained extraordinary resistance to her grandma's scolding and comparative criticism, as well as various blows to her personality.
It's not like I feel suffocated.
But just because she's not suffocating doesn't mean she likes hearing those words.
So after she thoughtfully sent her grandma home, she got out of the car and didn't even want to go in. She just wanted to leave quickly on the pretext that something happened in the studio.
So much so that her grandmother Gu Xihe lost her temper on the spot and said harshly, "If you are not greedy for love this year and don't bring a boy back, don't go home to celebrate the New Year. This will save our Ning family embarrassment." "
To be honest, she said so many things that Ning Youguang didn't like to hear.
I would rather have light than get angry.
But the words she said before turning around and leaving really made her emotional.
Standing at the door of her home, Ning Youguang felt that her heart couldn't help but feel the fire rising up. This instant boiling fire was so strong that her eyes turned black.
At that time, she stood there with her back to her grandma, closed her eyes and took a deep breath for a while, then gathered her emotions, turned around, slightly raised the corners of her mouth, and gave her a cute smile, "Okay, grandma, I know. Already."
Gu Xihe was standing at the gate of the Ning family villa.
The old man has lived an elegant and decent life. He needs both face and respect, and takes his own reputation very seriously.
No matter who I face, even if I am unhappy, I always speak the most serious words with a steady voice. I also educate my children with the most elegant attitude and the strictest standards. I rarely use my emotions to say anything offensive. .
Especially standing in front of the front door of my home.
Therefore, after she said this, she may have felt that it was a bit too much, or that she shouldn't have said it.
So I moved my lips and wanted to say something soft.
But in the end, he just kept a straight face and said nothing.
If you apologize——
Ning Youguang thought that she might not have even thought about it.
After all, he is someone everyone is used to.
How could you see your own mistakes and think of apologizing to your juniors?
But when she found out that she had said such excessive words, her granddaughter was still not angry, and her face softened. She took a rare breath and said to her kindly, "You know it right, grandma is a person who has been with you. I’m just saying this for your own good. Think about it carefully and see if it makes sense?”
Ning Youguang did not answer her question directly at that time, but quickly changed the subject, "Grandma, I'm sorry, my customers are really urging me. I'm leaving now. You usually take good care of yourself at home, bye."
After saying that, she stepped on her flat shoes, turned around, and walked away decisively.
However, what Gu Xihe, who had softened his attitude, didn't know was that if you let out bad words and hurt others, they would be hurtful.
Just because Junior is not angry, it doesn't mean that she really won't mind and won't be hurt.
So when she thought that the unpleasantness was over, she turned around and went home, feeling relieved that her well-educated granddaughter really listened to her words after hearing her words and saying that she knew.
I will seriously consider finding a relationship that can lead to marriage this year, and at the end of the year I will bring the boy home to show to the elders.
But in fact, Ning Youguang just decided that she would celebrate the New Year alone for the rest of her life, or she could celebrate the New Year with her friends if they were free and willing.
Just don’t go home and celebrate the New Year with your family.
Because she had already thought clearly that she would never fall in love or get married in this life, so naturally there would be no boys to take home.
So, sorry.
Children who cannot complete their tasks will have no shame in going home, let alone celebrating the holidays with everyone.
She had no choice but to find a hiding place for herself, so as not to disturb everyone's eyes.
Ning Youguang, who returned to the studio alone, thought——
In her life, until now, she may not understand many things about the human world.
But there was one thing she definitely understood.
That is, in a group system with complex interpersonal relationships.
When a person is considering something that only concerns himself, he really thinks clearly and makes a decision, and there is no need to explain too much to others.
Because it is superfluous to explain to anyone.
If you don't waste your time, money and energy, you may cause yourself a series of unnecessary troubles.
However, this is no one else’s fault.
You can only blame yourself. When you decide to tell others about yourself and let others dictate or judge your life, it means that you are willing to take the initiative in life that originally belonged to you alone. Branch out and put yourself in a passive position.
So, I waited until New Year’s Eve this year.
The whole Ning family, both young and old, went back to their hometown to celebrate the New Year, but found that Ning Youguang hadn't come back yet. Her father even called her to ask her to come back, saying that her family was waiting for her to come home for the New Year's Eve dinner. She He completely ignored etiquette and the overall situation and stayed outside without coming back.
He also said that he was on vacation abroad and would not be able to come back.
If you go abroad for a holiday during the Chinese New Year, you have already made plans not to go home during the Chinese New Year.
This child has such a hard-hearted nature. She has been angry for so long just by saying something to her grandma.
Gu Xihe, who was always used to giving orders at home, went crazy!
…
Ning Youguang, who was vacationing abroad with Zhuang Yijing at the time, couldn't help but sigh to her next to her after putting down the phone, "This is the good thing about people who value dignity and elegance more than anything else in their lives, even if they love someone again." If you are angry, you will not lose your temper and throw dirty words at the other person to make others even angrier."
At that time, Zhuang Yijing still laughed, "I don't understand these ladies. Don't they usually have emotions? Don't they get angry?"
"How can they not be angry?" Ning Youguang chuckled, "They are very angry, but they just won't vent it out in such a dishonorable way."
Mr. Zhuang, who was an orphan since he was a child and later spent a long time in a nouveau riche family, couldn't understand, "What is an unseemly way to vent your anger? Swear? Fight? Cry?"
"It doesn't matter." Ning Youguang said, "To sum up, any behavior that seems inelegant and inappropriate is not decent."
"Not elegant? Out of proportion?" Mr. Zhuang Ba still didn't understand, "What is the standard? Is there one?"
Ning Youguang said, "I don't know the standards in other people's families. In my family, as a person who has dignity and elegance engraved in his bones, he has to always stay aloof and not reveal his personal feelings. No matter how desperate and collapsed you are, If you want to cry, you have to endure it in front of others until you go back to your room, close the door and cry alone. At the same time, you have to make sure that no one can hear you when you cry. No matter how happy you are, in front of outsiders You also have to take your image into consideration, you can't smile too wantonly, it will make you look uneducated. In short, no matter how strong the emotions in your heart are, you have to keep calm and restrained on your face."
"Oh, I understand." Mr. Zhuang curled his lips, "You have to endure it anyway."
"Exquisite summary." Ning Youguang praised.
But Mr. Zhuang couldn't help but shook his head, "Then it would be too embarrassing to be a decent and elegant lady."
She said, "When a person is alive, the only connection to the world is feelings. If a person has to cut off and wipe out the only connection to the world, then what is the meaning of living?"
"Yes, what is the meaning of a person's life?" Ning Youguang, who was sitting next to Zhuang Yijing at the time, said, "This is also a question that I have been thinking about since I was a teenager, and I have finally figured it out now.
."
"What is it?" Zhuang Yijing asked curiously.
"Treat diseases and save lives." Ning Youguang said firmly.
Zhuang Yijing was stunned for a moment, "Isn't this what you are doing now?"
"Yes." At that time, in a cafe on the beach in Barcelona, Ning Youguang looked up at the setting sun and half-closed his eyes, "I am now practicing the meaning of my life."
Zhuang Yijing asked in surprise, "Is there anything else?"
"Gone."
"Gone?"
"Yes."
"What about yourself?"
For example, your expectations and arrangements for your future, etc., are only related to you or to you and your family...
Although Zhuang Yijing didn't tell everything, Ning Youguang understood——
"No, this is the only meaning of my life."
After she finished saying this, Zhuang Yijing was silent for a long time before asking, "You haven't said what your grandma will do if she's angry?"
Ning Youguang said, "There is a high probability that he will try every means to achieve his goal."
"The purpose of your successful marriage?" Zhuang Yijing's face was full of words.
"What else?" Ning Youguang raised his eyebrows, "Aren't you curious about what it feels like for a noble lady to be angry? This noble lady in our family was angry because I didn't give her a face today, so when she gets angry, she will definitely try her best to find someone.
Face back."
Is there anything better than achieving your goal to regain your face?
"Okay." Zhuang Yijing couldn't help but tremble thinking about it, "It's really suffocating."
Yes, it's really suffocating!
This New Year, Ning Youguang, who returned from vacation abroad with his best friend, often sighed like this.
Because when Gu Xihe found out on New Year's Day that she couldn't help her granddaughter in urging her to get married, she chose to use her authority as the head of the family to force everyone in the family to stand on a united front with her and form a group.
Come to besiege her in order to achieve the goal of getting Ning Youguang married.
Therefore, after the New Year of that year, Ning Youguang began to suffer from various family members' attempts to urge her to get married.
What could be more suffocating than being forced to get married by your whole family when you have already prepared to become a non-marriage person?
Ning Youguang's nightmare came to this place in the middle of the night. He felt as if his nose was covered, he couldn't breathe, and he was completely awakened.
She opened her eyes and calmed down for a while before she realized that she had just had a dream.
A nightmare that triggered great fear in his heart because he received Fang Han's wedding invitation.
Ning Youguang was in a dark and quiet room, but could hear the shallow breathing of the people around him. He took a few deep breaths of fresh air, and then the feeling of congestion in his chest was slightly relieved.
Then, she became more and more awake, and began to recall the content of the dream, and finally quickly extracted a few key words——
Fortunately, everything that was suffocating finally passed away like smoke and dust.
She is now a Ning who has died once and been reborn once. She has left her original family, her grandmother's control, her hometown, countless unpleasant experiences, and she has fallen in love. She no longer has to suffer the devilish siege of her family members to force her to get married.
There is light!
Thank God, thank God!
Let me live well.
…
Ning Youguang, who was awakened by a nightmare, soon found that he could no longer sleep.
She touched the phone on the bedside and checked the time, and found that it was 4:30 in the morning. It was a bit early and she couldn't sleep. Getting up would disturb Shi Wangyue beside her.
So she lay quietly on the bed, thinking about all kinds of messy things.
After thinking about it, his eyes finally fell on Shi Wangyue, who was sleeping soundly next to him.
She turned her head and looked quietly at the person beside her who was breathing evenly. The sight in front of her eyes was pitch black, but even if it was so dark that she couldn't actually see anything.
But I can still draw a clear face through my imagination.
She stared at him quietly, tracing every part of his face in detail in her mind.
Although she was very familiar with every part of this face, every shape of the facial features, and every line, she still couldn't help but stare at him at such a moment.
She turned around slightly, lay on her side on the bed, and stared at him for a long time.
I kept praising in my heart: "He is so good-looking. He has a good-looking nose, a good-looking forehead, a good-looking face, a good-looking mouth, a good-looking chin, and he looks good with his eyes closed. He has looked good since he was a child!"
After praising her, she couldn't help but start to sigh to him: "I am in love with him now, he is my boyfriend now, I am in love with him, how could I fall in love with him? Destiny is really
It’s so magical.”
But this magical arrangement of fate is surprising and gratifying.
Ning Youguang thought: "He is so good. Not only is he good-looking, he also has a good personality."
It was so good that there was nothing she didn't like about it.
So much so that when the two of them get along, seeing him anytime and anywhere, even if he is not doing anything, makes her feel happy and satisfied.
Therefore, "seeing him" itself became a very meaningful thing.
In fact, she was not originally like this.
Ning Youguang, who has always regarded the phrase "What have you done to prove that you have not wasted your life?" as a philosophy of life, has pursued the positive meaning of life in both lives and has never dared to waste precious time.
Use your time and life to do things that are of no benefit to yourself, mankind, or other sentient beings.
Ning Youguang, who strives to be as efficient as possible in order to achieve his goals, has become accustomed to quickly weighing whether something is worth doing before doing it.
But no matter how good the plans and ideas are, they can't avoid the occasional deviation of the mind, and they will do some things that are actually a waste of life but are not a waste of life.
For example, falling in love with Shi Wangyue; for example, looking at Shi Wangyue itself; for example, doing completely worthless things with him -
The two have been together for so long now.
Ning Youguang felt that she really understood that as a human being, she would weigh everything.
But there is nothing measurable about the person in front of me.
Because he is the meaning itself.
I have to admit, before falling in love with him.
She has no feelings about love.
Especially after comparing her experiences in her previous life and the countless versions of love stories she had seen, read, and heard.
She knew very clearly that she had no feelings for love and had no expectations or curiosity.
Once upon a time, she also considered why she was so indifferent and resistant to love?
Is it because of your family of origin? Is it because of your own personality? Or is it because you have seen through marriage and the relationship between men and women?
Or maybe there are various reasons?
But no matter what, for a person who was indifferent to love in her previous life, she feels that she will probably continue her understanding of emotions in her previous life and will no longer be moved by love.
Because she is mentally mature enough and thinks about this issue comprehensively and thoroughly.
There is no possibility of arbitrary changes anymore.
But Shi Wangyue was an accident.
It was a surprise that she fell in love with him and didn't resist his love.
Wait until she decides to be brave once and fall in love with him casually.
She finally understood that love was actually a very personal experience, different from any love template she had ever seen before.
So it doesn’t make much sense to compare other people’s love templates.
What matters is what her own real experience is in their love.
These are other people, and no books or love stories can tell her.
In fact, not long after I got together with Shi Wangyue.
She gradually realized that she really enjoyed falling in love.
She really has love.
She has a boyfriend.
It's time to look at the moon, not just an imagination.
how to say?
When she was alone, she never thought about falling in love.
But after two people got together, she discovered that she could also fall in love, and fall in love with the person she was in love with.
In two lives, in order to better serve customers and educate students, she has also studied a lot of knowledge and theories about gender relations and love, and has written several papers on this topic.
I thought I could use it as a method to fall in love with him.
But now it seems that what she thought was actually very unnecessary.
Because at that time, a specific partner like Mochizuki appeared in her life.
She discovered that there is no need to borrow any methodology when it comes to falling in love.
He was that thing that didn't require weighing, thinking about right or wrong, wouldn't bother her, and was worth spending time and life to experience.
After living two lifetimes, she thought she had experienced quite a lot, and there were very few things that aroused her great curiosity.
But after getting together with Shi Wangyue, the fermenting love between the two satisfied her great curiosity.
She is constantly making new discoveries about this and has a desire to explore it.
It turns out that this is how two people fall in love together, this is how dating is, this is how you and I are together, this is how it is for two people to live together...
Every morning when she opens her eyes, she knows that this is another day for the two of them, and they will have expectations and feel happy.
She deeply felt that no matter what the two of them did together, it was the first time she experienced love again.
No matter what the other party did, she was never really angry.
Yu Li, a large part of his growth was guided by her.
Even if he really did something that she felt was inappropriate, if she felt angry, she would still be angry with herself.
"Who asked you to teach him bad things?!"
Of course, so far, he has never done anything that made her feel inappropriate.
In love, having him by her side is happiness itself.
In fact, this is something that is not objective at all.
Before falling in love with him, she was actually worried about whether the relationship between the two would go bad if they switched from friendship to love? Would the relationship fall apart while they were still talking?
After so many years of friendship, how will the two of them continue to get along?
Time bears witness.
Three years have passed, and no matter how the two of them get together, there has never been a single quarrel, incompatibility or conflict.
This was really something that surprised her and was incredible.
She once imagined, "What if we really get together and find that we are not suitable for a relationship anymore?"
She thought that as the more mature person, she must try her best to maintain the relationship between them no matter what, so that they would not become inseparable until they die.
That's really something that makes people feel extremely sad.
Today, she can finally sum up in stages, no matter what assumptions she has made about their previous love or about love.
Now, it has surpassed all her imagination.
…
Think about it.
Ning Youguang had a strong impulse to record what he was thinking tonight so that he could remember it forever.
So she gently turned over and got out of bed, preparing to go to the "Wu Sheng Study Room".
But she didn't expect that even though her movements of getting up were very gentle, she still disturbed the sleeping person next to her.
"Why are you awake so early?" The other party opened his eyes, his voice was a little hoarse, but not confused.
"Sorry for waking you up." Ning Youguang sat back on the edge of the bed again.
"What are you talking about?" Shi Wangyue rolled on the bed, rolled to Ning Youguang's side, put his arms around her waist, "Why did you wake up so early today?"
Ning Youguang always slept well and his biological clock was on time. Without any special arrangements, there was no way he would wake up at this time on this day.
According to the biological clock of two people waking up normally, he wakes up first.
He continued, "What time is it now?"
Ning Youguang touched his phone and looked at it, "Five o'clock."
At the same time, it was quite funny to think that she could think about it for half an hour.
"Do you have anything to do?" Shi Wangyue asked again.
"No, I'm thirsty and want to drink some water." Ning Youguang didn't want to explain too much to Shi Wangyue, so he simply made an excuse.
"I'll pour it for you." Shi Wangyue lifted the quilt and stood up. At the same time, he stuffed Ning Youguang back into the quilt.
It's autumn, and it's already getting cold in the capital.
Ning Youguang, who was pinned to the bed by Shi Wangyue, couldn't laugh or cry as he watched the man pull off his slippers and leave the room.