Chapter 253 Is the shit stick studded with diamonds?
"You mean you have beautiful hair in the front but not in the back?"
"Why do you always have beautiful hair?"
"This is caused by the sun."
It was the sun again. Luan Yunping quickly asked, "How did it get exposed to the sun?"
"Just go to work on a cloudy day. It's almost done. The boss said you should go home. Put your things in your bag and go home."
Qi Yuncheng clasped his hands, made the desired action, took a few steps, and then stopped, "We're almost home, oh, the sun is out.
Doesn’t this cost your life?”
"Run quickly."
"Run home, go to the door and take out the key to open the door, walk inside with one step, your face comes in, and the sun comes out behind you."
Qi Yuncheng gestured backward with his right hand, "Stab it~~
Then I had a lot of hair in the front and baldness in the back.”
"Is this how you sunbathe?"
"right!"
"That's not right." Luan Yunping started to find fault again, "Then what's going on with our master's head? He's bald and still looks decent."
"Tsk!" Qi Yuncheng began to explain directly, "Did you see Master? He was out on a cloudy day, and suddenly the sun came out.
I bought a peach and put it on my head."
"So Master is a peach-shaped one?"
"Um!"
"How about that?"
"This is what research has shown."
"If Master had been holding a banana on his head at that time..."
Qi Yuncheng immediately waved his hand, "Then I can no longer call Master Tao'er."
"What's that called?"
"Jiao(Jiao)er!"
"Huo oh, then we will have two mistresses."
Ha ha ha ha!
A burst of laughter suddenly came.
Regarding this, there is no one in the audience who has no sense of the image. There is indeed no one with a banana on their head. The key is that the name is really squeamish.
It sounds like I don’t know which lady of the family she is.
However, at this point in the cross talk, after almost talking about the origins of the bald man, it turns to the coldness of old age.
And this is the essence of this cross talk.
"It's cold. It's really cold. You can't even bring toilet paper when you go to the toilet."
Luan Yunping's expression seemed to be fresh, "What should I do if I don't bring toilet paper?"
"Because toilet paper is useless."
"Why didn't it work?"
"When it comes to going to the toilet, it was not like now. There was a toilet at home. If not, you had to use public toilets.
This is so convenient, my pants will freeze~~."
"What's frozen?"
Qi Yuncheng turned to look at his partner's puzzled face and asked, "What did you go there for?"
"Oh! Got it."
"Try hard." Qi Yuncheng turned around and looked behind him, a little anxious, "If it's broken and frozen, this toilet paper must be broken to wipe it with.
Everyone has a way."
"For what?"
"Prepare a shit stick!
"
"This is the first time I've heard of it, but you're still using a shit stick?"
Explain it in these two sentences.
There is an audience below who is actually very happy, because it is not within the scope of their understanding at all.
But at this time Qi Yuncheng picked up the fan and put it on his waist, "You see those costume dramas, with knives, swords and so on."
"yes."
"That all evolved from the shit stick."
"The prototype is a shit stick?"
"Yes, I also embroidered a pocket and put it in."
"And there's a pocket?" Luan Yunping spoke louder, with a look of disgust on her face, "This pocket is probably very dirty."
However, when he said this, Qi Yuncheng showed a serious expression and waved his hand to correct him, "This is not dirty at all."
"Yeah?"
"Because it's all frozen."
"Okay, doesn't this apply?"
"No matter who comes to the toilet." Qi Yuncheng smiled politely while holding the fan on his waist, "Hello everyone, hello everyone, don't get up, don't get up."
"Who's still getting up after taking a shit?"
"After that, it will be convenient for me. It's almost done. I pull my hand out from my waist, and the sword is unsheathed, and I can fight in all directions at night."
"What a mess, you can fight shit!"
Ha ha ha ha!
Meaning~~
Three points for teasing and seven points for support.
Luan Yunping's words immediately broke the defenses of all the viewers in the North Exhibition.
Laughter came out one after another.
Amid the huge laughter from the audience, Qi Yuncheng waved his fan behind him vigorously, "Pah!"
!”
"You are very calm, but you said that if you only knock down half of this thing, how will you do it?"
The more he spoke, the louder the audience laughed. Even Song Yi and the school girl in the crowd below could no longer stop laughing.
At the same time, every time I watch Qi Yuncheng's performance, his outlook is refreshed every time.
But there is nothing we can do about it, this cross talk is just like that, there are many vulgar things, but this is a traditional joke.
Anyone else would have to act according to this idea.
And Qi Yuncheng also said, "No, everyone has skills in old age."
"There's also craftsmanship involved."
"Especially later on." Qi Yuncheng looked at the fan in his hand, "This thing became more and more luxurious."
"Luxury?" Luan Yunping didn't understand.
"After we got to the public restroom, we were still competing.
My dear, what is the material of your poop stick?"
"Is this even better?"
Qi Yuncheng turned to one side and raised his fan slightly, "My family is poor and it is from Zaomu."
"That's it."
"Hmph! Mine is Huali's."
"Isn't this trashing things?"
"That dear friend..." Qi Yuncheng pointed in one direction and asked, "What kind of material do you have?"
“It’s really a competition everywhere.”
"I am made of red sandalwood, with an ivory mouth.
Oh? This dear friend, what is yours?
For the golden ones, especially this one, I set them with diamonds."
"Is the shit stick set with diamonds?" Luan Yunping finally couldn't help it, "Can you believe this? You can tell yourself."
The corners of Qi Yuncheng's lips raised, "As for whether you believe it or not, I believe it anyway."
"Then what if I didn't bring it? Is there a time when I forgot it?"
"You came in too hasty?" Qi Yuncheng's expression condensed, and he touched his left waist with both hands. His expression became even more ugly when he touched it, and he sighed.
"Hey, where's my stick?"
"Hey, stop being so kind."
"If you don't bring it, you can only borrow it from someone next to you."
"Anyone else can borrow this?"
Qi Yuncheng turned around, stretched out his hand and leaned forward and said: "Sister!
"
"Just give me a moment."
Luan Yunping hurriedly grabbed her partner who was asking the question. When she pulled her back, the audience burst into laughter. She had never heard of women in the men's restroom.
"Sister, why are you still squatting together?"
"This idea is very dirty. Everyone goes to the bathroom to relieve themselves (big sister). You are not going to the bathroom (young lady) for minor relief."
"You went to the bathroom to meet me because of my eldest sister?"
"Let's just say it's more polite."
"What is this?"
Qi Yuncheng clasped his hands together as a gesture of courtesy, and then spoke again, "I'm sorry, I forgot to bring it. I'll lend you your stick for use."
"You're so welcome."
"Here you go girl."
"That's still a woman."
"My eyesight is bad, I saw it wrong. Take it and use it."
Qi Yuncheng's expression was very serious, and he started to popularize science with the left end of the fan, "You must remember this link.
They will give you the left side.
You can't just go over and get the right side, that's not allowed because it's inappropriate."
"Yes!" Luan Yunping nodded, "It melted as soon as I squeezed it."
"If someone passes it to you, you have to let it pass."
Qi Yuncheng suddenly tilted his body, hiding behind the microphone on the right side of the stick as if dodging a bullet, and then stretched his right hand to hold the left side of the fan.
"Do you have to let this go?" Luan Yunping asked when she saw it.
"Of course, you must pick it up from the other side, otherwise you will be laughed at."
"Irregular?"
"Right."
"Then, snap!
If you return it after using it, people will have to hide it and take it back again."
"Oh, you can borrow it." Luan Yunping was behind the table and was finally explained to her partner, but he still had many questions.
And we must rely on his words to complete the next turn of the performance.
"Then what if there is no one?"
Qi Yuncheng let out a surprised sound, then raised his coat and said, "Reserve the room? Now stand up quickly, find a corner and help him sit back down."
"Hoo!
"
Suddenly, Luan Yunping's expression became ferocious, and the more ferocious it became, the more painful it was to sit back.
So how could the audience's laughter be still small?
"Oh, I may have felt Captain Luan's pain with this expression."
"It's so cruel. This is..."
"No, my face is almost frozen with laughter. Why is it so disgusting after the Dragon Boat Festival?"
"It's a good thing this part is not performed in a small theater, otherwise I would really squirt while sipping melon seeds and drinking tea."
"Stop talking, it's indescribable. It's so picturesque, it even tastes like it."
…
The audience was in a state of excitement.
Qi Yuncheng felt it on the stage and quickly looked at the audience below and shouted, "Sit down and don't move, sit down and don't move."
How could the audience still not know the meaning and instantly start cheering?
"It means~~"
Luan Yunping's ferocious expression gradually softened at this time, "People just have to be cruel to themselves, why don't you sit back?"
Qi Yuncheng put his hands behind his back and turned to look at his partner, "What's wrong?"
"I'm so panicked. Can you believe this?"
"All I can say is it's a miracle."
"Have you told me about miracles?"
"Isn't that the old saying later?"
"What?"
Qi Yuncheng stretched out his hand and said angrily: "Hey, you didn't handle this properly."
Luan Yunping: "What's wrong?"
Qi Yuncheng: "You promised me back then, but now why do you pull half of it back and sit back?"
Luan Yunping: "Is this what you're talking about?"
Qi Yuncheng: "So now when you walk on the street, if you look up, those who hold their chests out and their heads raised are sitting back."
Luan Yunping: "You just sat back down, haven't you melted yet?"
Qi Yuncheng: "Hey, I'm just telling you about the weather."
Luan Yunping: "If you want to be cold, be cold, if you want to be hot, be hot?"
Qi Yuncheng: "Hey, this is what we are like in old age."
————
(Readers, I seem to know that I made a mistake. The editor said that I updated too little. I tried my best to update more, and today I updated at least 6,000 words.