"How to try? There is an introducer who introduces a young apprentice to the shopkeeper. When the young apprentice comes, the shopkeeper looks at it like this."
Originally Qi Yuncheng was holding the table with both hands, but he picked it up and looked down at it.
Stand-up comedy has strong storytelling and full of interest.
But no matter what, people need to be involved and immersed in the scene, and to be able to do this, the characters' performances must be vivid.
Shopkeeper Hao's character is stingy and a drinker, so he has to act out his character.
"Are you my apprentice?
ah.
Let me give you something to look at!”
As he spoke, Qi Yuncheng pointed to his side, "Open the cupboard door and take out a bottle of wine. What is this?
Shanxi Fenjiu.
don't want!!"
One person plays two roles. Qi Yuncheng tilted his head to look at his little apprentice, and at the same time he had to explain, "Why don't you want it?"
He thought to himself that he knew how to drink. Not only did he know the wine, but he also knew the place where the wine was produced. How could he bear it? No, let's go.
Introducer, find me another one."
"I don't know what happened, but someone spread the news to our house. As soon as I heard about it, I volunteered."
Qi Yuncheng's voice was a little louder and he looked so happy, "I said I would become an apprentice, but my father and mother didn't agree.
Then what's your job? I heard that they don't care about food, so I have to go.
The introducer is here, I will go to that station, behave myself, and be honest."
"You want to be my apprentice? Do you know how much work you have to do?"
Know.
Let me give you something to look at, what is this?"
It still refers to the same action as before. The audience knows that this is wine without having to listen to the explanation.
"Actually, I understood it, but I still pretended to shake my head, not knowing.
He wasn't worried about the problem.
So look what is this?
I pretended not to know.
You smell it."
Qi Yuncheng looked like he was holding something in his hands, smelled it, and suddenly blurted out, "Horse piss!"
The voice fell.
The audience in the small theater was full of smiles.
This stand-up comedy is different from his counterpart. He doesn't pursue any big baggage, and his voice is crisp and clear.
The purpose is to listen to stories, have fun and be interesting.
But at this time, Qi Yuncheng, who played the role of shopkeeper Hao, sighed happily, "Oh, a good apprentice has come, okay, okay, let's keep him."
So he left me behind.
The introducer next to me was so angry.
I thought to myself, "Okay, don't do it. I scolded you, but you left him alone. What's wrong with this guy?"
Little did he know that the shopkeeper was afraid that people would steal his wine.
As a result, I became his apprentice there."
…
Just say this in a single sentence.
Suddenly, there was some movement on the side curtain.
Dalin, Meng Hetang, Zhou Hang and others were all watching here. After all, it would be good to come and listen to the stand-up comedy.
But suddenly the Marquis came over.
Holding two plastic bags in hand.
"Come, eat some sugar cane. I just ran out and bought it. It looks pretty good."
Seeing the Marquis bringing these things over, several people around him were stunned, but one of them still took one and started chewing it.
Then he vomited it all into the bag brought by the Marquis.
The same is true for Hou Zhen himself, but even if he eats sugar cane, there is absolutely no way to stop his mouth.
Qi Yuncheng, who was looking at the stage while chewing, spoke.
"It's rare to talk one-liners these days, but Yuncheng's ability is not low, so listen up.
By the way, sugar cane tastes good.
In particular, it has a lot of crude fiber. During repeated chewing, it is like a toothbrush brushing your teeth. It can clean the remaining dirt in the mouth and clean the mouth.
Moreover, the large amount of sucrose in sugar cane can supplement the human body with sufficient human energy, and can prevent hypoglycemia and eliminate fatigue and heatstroke.
Isn't it summer? Eating is a good thing, and the young man who sold me things just now was a bit outrageous.
I said I don’t want so much, but I have to come to this many.
Is this what you are saying?
Isn’t this a lot of money for me to waste?”
…
Bah bah bah bah bah.
Mr. Hou began to popularize various sciences.
But Dalin, Meng Hetang, and Zhou Hang took the white sugar cane and did not take three bites. They had never heard of eating sugar cane and suffering this penalty.
My brain almost boiled.
When the Marquis saw that they were not moving much, he quickly said, "Eat, it's a good thing to eat this sugar cane. Your master can't eat it because he has diabetes."
"Eat! How can you not eat?"
"Well, eat! Eat!"
"That's right, eat them all, thank you Mr. Hou!"
All three of them spoke perfunctorily. There was nothing they could do about it. Given their seniority, how could they be disobedient?
Even if it is poisonous, you have to eat it.
After finishing talking about this topic, Hou Zhen started talking about the Chuanxi Club in front of him. After all, he drove there, and the topic didn't stop at all.
As for Meng Hetang and the others, they could only listen while looking eagerly at Qi Yuncheng on the stage.
Qi Yuncheng was now talking about the fun part.
"I worked as his apprentice, but I didn't have enough to eat. He had to play cards that night, and he stayed all night long and didn't come back until dawn.
After you came back, he woke you up from your sleep in the winter."
"Get up!!! It's very cold in the house. Let's light the stove."
"It's cold when he comes back. He's lying down to sleep, so I have to light the stove. As soon as it's dawn, or sometimes even before it's dawn, I have to light the stove.
There is still trouble in the mouth.
Our briquettes have a certain number of points when they are burned. How many are burned every day, how many are burned in a month, and what do you hear?
I said eh."
Qi Yuncheng stretched out his fingers and made a number, "He called me for three days in a row, and I got angry. On the fourth day, I had an idea.
On this day, the sky was full of stars. He came back, and he lost today.
Get up! Light the stove.
I said, let’s light the stove.
I lit the stove, it's quite warm. I'll also stay in the room, waiting for him to sleep soundly. I'll go over and call him."
Qi Yuncheng immediately became anxious, and his hands were somewhat pushing, "The shopkeeper's shopkeeper! Get up, get up!"
He doesn't know what's going on. What's going on?
I don’t count the briquettes I burn every day, but today I counted them and found a total of forty-eight.
Then why are you telling me? I'm asleep and there's nothing wrong with me."
"He caught fire again. Now, he didn't call me when he came back. What's the matter? He called me because he was afraid that I would count briquettes for him again."
The more I talked about it, the more people in the audience felt it was hurtful.
Of course, the audience all knows that this is an old joke, but the old joke has the same taste, so at this moment Qi Yuncheng's breath, expression and tone are exactly the same.
It all makes them feel fun and familiar.
Even if they have heard it countless times.
To be honest, Qi Yuncheng also imitated his master's speaking. After all, his purpose in this scene was to let the audience listen to this paragraph again.
So he continued to speak.
"But I always don't have enough to eat. This thing is killing me. I looked at his wall and bought a piece of ham that day and brought two bottles of wine over.
He won money that day and put it on the table.
But when he won money, he got into a panic, and he still wanted to fool around, so just tell me."
"Me! I have something to do when I go out. Do you hear me? I'll be back at dawn tomorrow.
Note, this piece on the wall is called ham.
Don't let the cat pick it up.
Also, there is a big yellow dog next door to our old hen in the backyard. Don’t let it bite you, do you understand?
And the most important thing is these two bottles, don't move them.
These two bottles are poisons, one is white arsenic and the other is yellow arsenic. If you drink it, you will die. Do you understand? Pay attention.
I said eh, and then he left."
"I was so angry when he left. I took a look." Qi Yuncheng looked down at the table and said, "One bottle of grape green, one bottle of champion red.
Two bottles of wine, tell me the poison?
Ham, chicken, me, I think this is the end of my apprenticeship."
Knowing what is going to happen next, combined with Qi Yuncheng's bad-tempered tone at this moment, even if it is a joke made by the gentleman, some viewers really think it suits him.
After all, he has a way of hurting others.
So many people listened attentively.
On the stage, Qi Yuncheng also smiled and made a gesture of taking it out, "I took off the ham and slipped the chicken out.
I went to the restaurant to order food for him, he was very familiar with him.
I went to the restaurant with two things.
I said to the shopkeeper, our shopkeeper said that we recently received a batch of wood, and there is some left in this batch of wood.
But there is nothing left for you, so our shopkeeper promised to leave you a piece of chopping stick, which will be delivered to you in two days.
The shopkeeper said that it would be hard for you to kill the chicken, chop it into pieces, and cut the ham into pieces.
Okay, yes yes yes."
"The guy who beat the restaurant manager was happy, why? He thought he was getting in for nothing."
"Dingdang Wusi, I stewed the chicken and chopped it, so I took it back. I took it back and stewed it until it was so mushy that I opened two bottles of wine."
Qi Yuncheng made a gesture with his left and right hands to lift the bottle cap, and then he said happily, "Come on, it's a farewell commemoration anyway.
So I drank like this. I ate and drank at the same time.
After eating and drinking enough, I threw the bones away and the two empty bottles on the ground, then lay down on his bed and fell asleep.
Sleep until dawn when the shopkeeper comes back."
"The shopkeeper was blown away when he came back and saw it!!" Qi Yuncheng stared, looking left and right, with a look of disbelief on his face, and this look alone reflected a person's acting ability.
"Why is this child sleeping here?
I saw two wine bottles on the ground and the ham was gone. I ran to the backyard and saw that the chicken was gone too.
Okay, it’s all open. If you fall asleep or get angry, come here and give me a punch."
Qi Yuncheng slapped the table to make a sound and shouted, "Get up!!!"
"This time I started pretending, but when I saw him I started crying.
Hey! I'm talking about the shopkeeper, why did you come back? Yao is dead and won't survive.
What's going on? What's going on?
I said what's going on? It's because you left and I paid attention to the things you asked me to pay attention to. In the middle of the night, I heard a dog bite.
The dog bit me and I got up. Unexpectedly, it took the old hen away.
I think I was afraid that you would come back and hit me in a hurry, so I chased you. Even though I chased you, I couldn't catch you.
When I came back and took another look, I found that the ham had also been picked up by Mao.
These two things are gone. I think when you come back, you will definitely beat me and won't spare me.
I have no other choice."
Qi Yuncheng pointed while crying, "I just remembered that you said those two bottles of poison were coming, and I was thinking about jumping into the river. The bottles were sealed, so it would be difficult to jump.
I might as well drink this poison and commit suicide.
As a result, after drinking the first bottle of white one, I drank it, and then I also drank the red one, and I, I’m not dead yet!!!”
"When the shopkeeper heard this, how angry was he? Then he was too embarrassed to say that it was wine, not poison.
He was so angry that he stamped his feet.
He was so angry that he stamped his feet, but I sincerely teased him."
"I said, shopkeeper, didn't you say that it was poison? You will die after drinking. Why am I not dead after I drank two bottles?
The shopkeeper said, "Why are you not dead? Nonsense, the medicine is not strong enough and you drank too little."
I said fine, how about you give me two more bottles?"
Ha ha ha ha!
Quack, quack, quack, quack!
After saying this, the audience burst into laughter and applause.
"Okay! It's really comfortable to listen to this old joke."
"Master Liu Baorui's works are really interesting no matter what era."
"This apprentice has said it, Qi Yuncheng will talk about fighting skills anytime, that will be fun."
"That's right! One more."
"One more!!"
…
What cross talk requires is an interpretation.
And this is also one of the differences between students and experienced actors. No matter how familiar the audience is with the passage, if the lyrics and interpretation are thrown together with certain skills and personal experience, it is basically fun.
Of course, Qi Yuncheng doesn't dare to say how good his acting is, but it's just okay.
At the same time, after finally saying this, he began to bow and thank him.