Chapter 280 The child is mine, but it was born by your wife!
Behind the table, Luan Yunping could not help but feel embarrassed.
Looking at the two hands of my partner, I don’t know how to choose, but I still ask first, “Which one is me?”
"The one on the left is you, the one on the right is Master, take your pick. But I have to tell you, if your head and body don't come together, it's called a dead body without a complete body."
"Oh, that's pretty miserable."
"Choose, it's time to test whether you are Master's beloved disciple." Qi Yuncheng spread his hands and urged.
Looking left and right, Luan Yunping felt extremely embarrassed, and her face was extremely ugly, but in the end it was confirmed that he was the master's beloved disciple.
So he spoke.
"Master, let your head cool off. I will choose myself."
Ha ha ha ha!
The whole scene was filled with joy.
Good guy, this is the beloved disciple? When disaster strikes, they all fly away, which is vividly reflected.
The key point is not to waste these two words.
However, it also completely proves that this beloved disciple is becoming more and more influenced by Qi Yuncheng and is almost assimilated.
But the old audience laughed. Qi Yuncheng still paid more attention to that little girl. Her expression probably showed that she didn't quite understand.
His two eyebrows were always furrowed.
But his eyes were looking straight at him.
And this makes me regret becoming a teacher.
However, the performance must continue, and at the same time throw away the one in the right hand.
"Then I have to transport you back to Xizhimen. Your lower body is struggling over there. Put you in your schoolbag, take bus No. 345 to Deshengmen and then take the subway.
Come back to the Xizhimen gate.
But let me tell you, I am the most observant of public order."
"How do you see it?"
“I swipe my card twice when I get on the bus.”
"what?"
"The driver was also puzzled, hey, young man, each person swipes the card once."
"right!"
Qi Yuncheng pointed to his armpit and said, "No, master, there is another one here.
The driver also said that dogs are not allowed on the bus."
"There's no dog here." Luan Yunping was speechless.
"Finally, I finally got to this door. I took out your head and screwed it back on for you."
"What's the screw on my head? What should I tighten?"
"Don't worry about it. I'll install it for you anyway. Then ask a car to take it to Babaoshan for cremation, put it in a box, and scatter it into the ditch."
"Spill into the ditch? Then I might as well want my master's head."
Qi Yuncheng explained, "Isn't your wish to return to nature?"
"This is so natural."
"Then go to my master's wife's place to collect your pension, and help you take care of master's unnecessary matters."
"Yes, just by the way."
"After I receive it, I will leave half for your father and half for you."
"How can I pay you back half of it?"
"I can't pay for it in vain. After receiving it, I will introduce your wife to Kong Yunlong. From our background, this matter will be considered very beautiful."
"Yes! You have torn down our house. Isn't it beautiful?" Luan Yunping deliberately showed a hint of anger, "Why are you introducing my wife to Kong Yunlong? I want to use you?"
"Ouch." Qi Yuncheng rolled his eyes and turned on his gossip expression, "Don't you know what they were whispering about when you were alive?"
"Hey!" Luan Yunping was very angry at her partner, "Stop making up stories, this is not possible."
"Anyway, to put it simply, friendship remains even after death. Friendship remains true even after death."
There was nothing she could do, Luan Yunping could only nod, "I finally understand this, I understand it very deeply.
After all, the master is gone, and so is the wife.
Then what else can your wife not avoid if you cross the house?"
Sometimes a good compliment is very important. Luan Yunping's words seemed casual, but it was easy to make people laugh.
Especially the sentence about the master gone and the wife gone too.
The audience can enjoy it over and over again if they think about it carefully.
At this time, Qi Yuncheng spoke again, "It's easy to understand. My wife doesn't avoid her when I cross the house. We are good friends. I went to your house to visit, and your wife is at home.
Let's chat together without any taboos.
This doesn’t need any more explanation.”
"Yes, we have a good relationship. But there is also a wife and son?"
"It's getting late, it's past nine o'clock now." Qi Yuncheng raised his right hand and glanced at his wrist.
Luan Yunping frowned, "If you have a watch, just look at it."
"I have to take a rest as soon as possible. I was very tired when I first arrived backstage. Besides, I have to pay my respects to my master.
So that’s all we’re going to do today.”
As if she didn't know what was wrong with Qi Yuncheng, Luan Yunping said: "Master, it's still early. Now that we've talked about it, let me explain.
I'm afraid it's not difficult to entrust your wife and sacrifice your son."
"Hey, if you are willing to die, I will be willing to bury you."
"What are you talking about?"
"That's what he means by trusting his wife and offering his son..."
…
…
With one sentence, the burdens are thrown down one by one.
Both of them have good acting experience.
Although Qi Yuncheng doesn't dare to say that he is better at drumming or opera, he is very confident in cross talk.
After all, I was learning in my previous life, and I am also learning in this life, not to mention having systematic experience.
So it can be regarded as progressing with time.
And what this paragraph is talking about is that you go out to do business and make a lot of money for ten years, and then you help take care of your wife.
But once she took care of her, she had several children.
I understand how it came about.
…
"As soon as I entered the room and lay down, your wife was breastfeeding the child."
"They all have children??" Luan Yunping said in disbelief.
"Hey!!" Qi Yuncheng sighed, looking helplessly and looking to the side, "I said he would be back soon.
Tell me what to do.
And your wife is very happy while patting the child."
"say what?"
"What can I do now that things have come to this? What can I do with my love? It's not like I haven't read Pan Jinlian's story before."
"What kind of arrogance is this?"
"That's all nonsense!!" Qi Yuncheng said angrily, "You're an immoral thing, but why is this so annoying?
And just as he was talking, the door opened and the eldest son came in."
"Two sons?" Luan Yunping held out two fingers. At the same time, the audience felt that Captain Luan's head was extremely green.
There was constant laughter.
Qi Yuncheng did not restrain himself at this time but continued.
"This one is the cutest, I like this one best, he loves to call daddy as soon as he comes in!
But I didn’t say anything and just slapped him."
"How to spank a child?"
"You still call me daddy? If you call me daddy again, you will die, you know? I tell you, it will take another four or five days.
A man came to visit our house. He may be as ugly or good-looking as he is, but he has a box full of money.
If you feel sorry for yourself, call him daddy.
You’re right, daddy will buy you some candy, do you hear me?
As for that boy, there is no need to give any instructions."
"how?"
"It's only one month old."
"Okay, then you are fast enough."
"Everything has been put away. I'll clean up the house and go pick you up. I'll order a pot of food in the house. You'll sit on top and your wife will sit next to you.
There are two children, one on each side, and I’m sitting down with my hand missing. Don’t you think it’s pretty when I hold the wine glass and drink from it?”
"Beautiful." After hearing this, Luan Yunping seemed to understand, and she gritted her teeth and spit out the word.
"Can't you make this friend?"
"Hand in~~"
The more she talked, the angrier Luan Yunping became, and she suddenly shouted, "I'm a bastard of you, who are you?"
What is this thing you did?"
"No!" Qi Yuncheng didn't know what was wrong with him and was a little confused, "What you said is wrong."
"What's wrong?"
"You and these people are messing with me, but I have good intentions. Let's talk to the lamp."
"It's useless for you to say anything."
"I'm not sorry."
"Aren't you feeling sorry?"
"How much have I spent on you?"
"You deserve it." Luan Yunping seemed to be getting angrier as she spoke. After all, her daughter-in-law already had two children.
"I'm tired from how much I've suffered."
"I'm not sure who it is for."
"During the day for your wife, I won't go in every day."
"Yes, you haven't come out all night. What's the use of telling me this."
"You shouldn't be doing this. What do I mean by making friends?"
"What are you picturing? Tell me in front of everyone."
"Is this what I drew in the end? I took out my heart and gave it to you to eat, and I ended up like this?
A good heart turns into a donkey’s liver and lungs.”
"That's what you're good at."
"Is it easy for me to do it for you? You were seventy when you left, and you were eighty when you came back!"
"What's wrong with eighty?"
"You have the heart, but you don't have the strength."
"I won't let you come if I don't have the strength."
For a moment, the two people seemed to be quarreling on the stage, talking to each other in a barrage of words, almost without missing a breath.
But even so, the two people still spoke very clearly.
And this is the basic skill.
But Qi Yuncheng still sounded aggrieved, and said quickly, "What you said is wrong."
"What's wrong?"
"You have no children!"
"What's wrong if I don't have a child?"
"Your Luan family has lost its roots."
"That has nothing to do with you."
"There is a whole family of dead people holding banners and cans, but no one cares about you."
"I'm not pointing at anyone."
Qi Yuncheng pointed downwards at his partner, "You stretch your legs and get two sticks on your legs, and ask the two dogs to pull them out for you, okay?"
"That's my business."
"I worry and worry about you. Is it easy for me?"
"Who are you for?" Luan Yunping looked over and asked angrily.
"I did it for you!!!" Qi Yuncheng suddenly increased his volume and shouted through gritted teeth, "I told you that kid is my son!!"
"..."
As soon as the words fell.
On the stage, after Luan Yunping understood the meaning, she instantly turned from angry to quiet, and asked in a low voice, "Your son?"
Qi Yuncheng stood behind the microphone, his face full of pain and frustration, and there was even a hint of crying in his voice.
"Yes, that is my child. I am afraid that you will have no heirs. You are eighty years old. If you are so determined, do you still have the strength?"
He repeated what he just said.
The audience is having fun.
Luan Yunping also stabilized her mood, "You are really thoughtful."
"All you have to do is guard that pile of money transferred abroad, and then sit there and cry while I'm here to make friends.
If I have more children, I will give them to you two.
ah?
You didn't say a word, you even hit and scolded me, and you put your heart on the ground."
"Hey!" Luan Yunping was a little at a loss, as if she didn't understand it, "I didn't expect it."
Bang.
Qi Yuncheng slapped the table and became angry, "No, I will die here today. I will die here for you to see."
"I was wrong. I was wrong. Isn't that okay?" Luan Yunping hurried over to stop her.
"You don't have that."
"Yes, I was wrong."
"That child is mine."
"I know."
Qi Yuncheng instantly lost his momentum and said, "Your wife gave birth to her."