Crosstalk: There is no size on the stage, and a new grave is set up under the stage Chapter 296 You Have To Shout When You Cross The Road, What A Quick Knife
Chapter 296 You Have To Shout When You Cross The Road, What A Quick Knife
For a while.
After listening to Yuncheng's words.
Luan Yunping didn't say much.
He and Yuncheng usually have a good relationship, but they also love their younger brother.
In fact, logically speaking, this is just an opening. The program was wrongly chosen, but it was completed without any incident.
The past has passed.
But these disciples who are familiar with their master know that their master cannot ignore it.
Who said this was his son?
You have to be more cautious when dealing with others.
But now that the master is not here, they can't think of what will happen next, so they can only take it one step at a time.
So after a few casual conversations, the actors began to rest and prepare for the upcoming program.
Especially Qi Yuncheng and Luan Yunping, they still have two big jobs to perform, and no matter what props or sizes they need to match each other.
Because even traditional jokes will have new baggage added to them.
And when they go up to perform.
Dalin stayed at the side curtain and never went down, even after they finished the performance.
I will also stand here to watch other actors.
One stop lasts an hour or two.
Shengsheng stood up to the bottom of the program.
No one said anything to him. It could be seen that he might be in a bad mood, but it wasn't just a bad mood.
What's more, Dalin is trying to calm himself down. He has thought a lot in the past two hours, but it's just the beginning that has no effect.
But I can understand many things.
That's because my mentality is a bit arrogant.
Recently, he and Yan Hexiang performed very well in the small theater, and the audience in the small theater began to get familiar with them. Over time, he was in a different state as he continued to learn and progress.
In addition, I happened to catch up with my brother's business performance, so I was bold enough to do it.
Who would have thought that a ladle of cold water would throw him back to his original state.
The splash was very timely, otherwise he really wouldn't know what his mentality would be like.
So I felt a bit enlightened, but I still felt very guilty. After all, it was because I didn’t start the show well.
But looking at it, on the stage at this moment.
Qi Yuncheng and Luan Yunping were still talking, their laughter rising and falling from time to time. Seeing this, he was a little confused again.
Why has my mentality never changed?
Although he is not old, he can still understand the ups and downs of a person's mentality, because his father often tells him about this.
When a person goes from low to high, his treatment and environment have changed, and it is impossible for this person to remain the same as before.
I'm still learning a little, but I really don't see any change in my mentality.
But how did he know that Qi Yuncheng had already lived a new life in two lifetimes, and his general mentality could still be stable.
But when faced with big occasions, he will also be envious and excited, after all, there is no contact.
Of course there is another one, that is his girlfriend Song Yi. In response to her initiative, his heart beat so fast many times.
He just acted calm.
However, in order to complete tonight's commercial performance, he is now trying his best to perform the last program for the audience at the Poly Theater today.
"As an actor, you must have a clean mouth. You see, there are more than a thousand people here today, and the venue is relatively empty, but every word must be heard clearly."
"Send it to your ears." Luan Yunping said.
"The old gentleman said before that speaking unclearly is like killing someone with a dull knife."
"How do you say this?"
Qi Yuncheng spoke more and more clearly, and at the same time he slashed down with his right hand, "The killing knife must be fast. If the knife is blunt, killing will be too painful."
Luan Yunping put her hands on the table, her expression a little unbelievable, "As for it?"
"Let me give you an example."
"Then tell me."
Qi Yuncheng turned his eyes and looked at Luan Yunping, "For example, let's say you were beheaded."
When she met her partner's gaze, Luan Yunping immediately regretted and was speechless, "I'm a bitch too, so why do you ask this?"
"Because I can only talk about you."
"Can't you talk about others? How about replacing it with Uncle Yu? Or replacing it with Master?"
"Then you are such a beloved disciple." Qi Yun originally came to tease him, but now he amplified his voice and said a word of praise.
Luan Yunping herself was happy, and the audience was even more so.
Regardless of the commercial performance, the atmosphere of the performance is still very relaxed.
"Then you can't talk about yourself?" Luan Yunping continued.
"If I die, who will explain to them how to kill someone with a blunt knife?"
"Then you will suffer."
"Luan Yunping is going to be beheaded, I feel very sad." Qi Yuncheng gritted his teeth and couldn't help laughing.
"I didn't see it at all."
"Choose a good day, New Year's Eve, and the whole country will celebrate."
"Is this a good day for beheading?"
The corners of Qi Yuncheng's lips raised, "You still celebrate your birthday, and you live in a new house at home."
"This is a housewarming celebration."
"I bought a new single-family villa with an area of 7,000 square meters."
Once she imagined this area, Luan Yunping said expressionlessly, "Okay, am I taking over the Forbidden City?"
"Your wife went out during the day and spent 20 cents to buy a lottery ticket and won 100 million."
"All good things have happened to our family."
"Your child studies hard and will be admitted to Qinghua University in no time!!"
"How wonderful this is."
"The whole family is sitting here eating."
Qi Yuncheng gestured with his hands to make a big basin again, "There is a braised fish in the middle, and a pearl the size of an egg comes out of the belly."
"Ouch." Luan Yunping was confused when she heard it, and she pinched her hands to make gestures, "How did you stuff it in?"
"Everything you and your family meet is a good thing. In addition, I am also here to celebrate your birthday and wish you a happy birthday.
My birthday present will arrive soon."
"That's not bad."
"What I bought for you is the Three Treasures of Yindu."
"Why is it called the Three Treasures of Yindu?" Luan Yunping didn't understand, but at the same time she helped the audience to clarify.
Qi Yuncheng immediately explained, "There are three specialties of Yindu."
"This is great."
"After a while, the door rang, and someone from the Yindu Company came."
"Who's coming?"
"Standing at the door was a very beautiful Indian beauty, a nineteen-year-old girl with a red dot on her forehead." Qi Yuncheng nodded as he spoke.
"This is the Indian style."
"With this Yindu Three Treasures in your hand, ask as soon as you walk in. (Pouring) Ni Xiang, that teacher Nuan."
"Is this from Yindu? Is this from Baoding?"
“The girl from India is studying abroad in Baoding.”
"Okay." Luan Yunping quickly complained, "Do you want to improve this person?"
"On behalf of our company, I would like to send you this Yindu Three Treasures." After Qi Yuncheng finished speaking, he stretched out his hands and said, "Take it over and take a look.
A wooden barrel carved from Indian red sandalwood, this is a treasure."
"That's right." Luan Yunping nodded.
"The outside of this red sandalwood stick is smeared with a layer of curry. Once you open the lid of the bucket, there is a bucket full..."
"What?"
"Yindu Divine Oil."
“Does this stuff come with a bucket?”
"Luan Yunping picked it up, drank tons, tons, tons, and drank it all. She was in high spirits. Then she turned around and saw this beauty from India.
Luan Yunping said that I am particularly curious about the red spot on the girl, can I touch it? "
"Can it?"
"The girl is a little shy, (pouring) Why are you waiting for the rope?"
When Luan Yunping heard the smell, she laughed and said, "She has been waiting for this."
"Come on! So Luan Yunping touched the red dot with her hand. The red dot fell off. When she saw it, it fell off. Special Prize was written on her forehead."
"How did you figure this out?"
"And this special prize is this beautiful girl from India, who has promised to live in your home from now on, but your wife will definitely not want to."
Luan Yunping nodded, "She must have some ideas."
"Why did she stay at home when she came? There was a quarrel with one person and another in the house. But now, the door opened."
"Who's coming?"
"More than a hundred officers and soldiers showed up."
"This is?"
Qi Yuncheng played the role and said politely, "Teacher Luan, congratulations, happy birthday, happy Spring Festival, and congratulations on winning the prize.
Let's go and behead him."
Luan Yunping was suddenly stunned and asked with some confusion, "All the good things in love have nothing to do with me?"
"Luan Yunping, you have to ask yourself why you killed me."
"yes."
"The officers and soldiers said it was okay, so I asked you to explain what killing with a blunt knife means. In an instant, there was deathly silence in the room."
"There is no backbone in the family anymore."
"Your child is sitting across from you, and I'm sitting here." Qi Yuncheng pointed to his seat, then looked to the left, "This is your wife, and on the right is the beauty from India.
Several of us feel very sad.”
"This is all in your hands, right?"
"Didn't I say that before?"
"What?"
"As long as I love you, I don't care who his wife is."
"Huo oh, do you mean you shop from eight o'clock to ten thirty?"
Ha ha ha ha!
A sentence suddenly applies here.
How could the audience not be happy?
Pieces of laughter.
At the same time, Dalin in the side curtain was also stunned, and the corners of his mouth slowly raised. You must know that this sentence was said during their first cross talk.
I can still use it after saving up. I really feel that my cross talk is very easy to control and it seems to be very easy, but the opening of it is a bit unsatisfactory.
But he didn't dare to think more and continued to listen.
And then there was the part where the two people talked about beheading.
This is the most exciting part of saving money.
"Luan Yunping has already sent him to the food market in Yanjing. First, he will be stripped naked from top to bottom."
"Why are you naked?
"If you don't care about your head or life, why do you want shame?"
"Then I can't be shameless first."
"I'm naked, tied up here at Caishikou, and inserted into my neck!"
"What kind of trick is this?" Luan Yunping asked.
"There is a sharp point on the top, and a white paper on the bottom, as seen in movies and TV shows." Qi Yuncheng said while picking up the fan and writing, "I am responsible for the execution of a criminal, the big gangster Luan Yunping!!"
"Tsk!" Luan Yunping suddenly understood, "I just said why am I naked."
"Hit the back of the neck and insert it, and the person next to you will kick it."
"Why are you kicking me?"
"You're going to be beheaded, but you're not allowed to kneel down?"
"There's no need to kick him."
"With a bang, you fell down, eh? No!" Qi Yuncheng suddenly looked at the ground and wondered, and quickly walked over, "I asked you to kneel down, who told you to stick it out like this."
"Don't correct my posture." Luan Yunping quickly pulled her partner back.
"Okay, if you want to be stubborn, just be stubborn. Anyway, you are still a big gangster. And after you finish cleaning up, the sky will be bright."
"Is this just one night?"
"It's already the first day of the Lunar New Year. Just ahead of Yanjing Food Market is called Liulichang. There is a temple fair every year. There are about 700,000 to 800,000 tourists from all over the country."
“There are huge crowds of people.”
"Everyone has to pass in front of you before they can go to the temple fair. Some people have seen it three times, and some have seen it twice."
"Why are so many people watching? Are you selling tickets or not?" Luan Yunping, as a venue manager, said this almost instinctively.
And when the audience below is staring at him, they can understand that he is indeed a beloved disciple, thinking about selling tickets wherever he goes.
"Someone will be here soon."
"This will definitely attract people."
"Oh, this is Luan Yunping, right?" Qi Yuncheng suddenly turned into a passerby and said in surprise, and at the same time he bent down and looked at it carefully.
"Huo oh, that's okay. It's whiter than Uncle Yu."
Luan Yunping was suddenly startled and pushed Qi Yuncheng, "You can control it or not! You're just picky when you're watching the excitement!"
Ha ha ha ha!
Suddenly, the audience below burst into laughter.
Especially that one is whiter than Mr. Yu. It’s impossible not to have a good picture quality. I’m just a little regretful, that is, I don’t know exactly how white it is.
When his partner said this, Qi Yuncheng had no choice but to return to the topic, "It's already the seventh day of the Lunar New Year in a blink of an eye."
"I exhibited for seven days?"
"I'm not lying, because the temple fair in Yanjing is from the first to the sixth day of the lunar month."
"What about one more day?"
"Staff are not allowed to look at it?"
"Are there any internal discounts?"
"Of course."
"After I got tired of looking at it, I asked the chief prison officer for instructions that it was time to behead him.
This person is coming."
Pointing in the direction, Qi Yuncheng put his hands together and said, "Master Qi, the time has come.
The adult turned around.
Damn it! Stun him to death! Cut him into pieces!"
Luan Yunping heard the dialect again, "Is this prison officer from the northeast?"
"The executioner just took a big knife at this time. The knife is wide and thick, and the blade is thin. It kills people without seeing the blood. It is purple, blue and blue, with thousands of rays of light and thousands of auspicious colors!!"
A sentence came out, and Qi Yuncheng read it very clearly. This was used to describe the knife, and it was generally used in storytelling.
And he also studied storytelling, so he read it very smoothly.
Luan Yunping listened silently, and at the same time secretly calculated the time in her mind, how long she planned to finish.
This all needs to be thought about during the performance.
It’s not just the performance that’s over.
At the same time, after my partner finished speaking, he still had to catch his nerves and talk quickly, "This is so fast."
"The knife was raised!!"
Qi Yuncheng held the fan in both hands and raised it high, then dropped it instantly.
"Hey!!"
"It'll be cut now."
"Are you shocked?"
"It's not beheading." Luan Yunping suddenly understood and felt it was completely outrageous, "Is this beheading funny?"
"Shocked, right?!"
"Nonsense, don't be frightened. It's going to scare you to death. Just chop it up quickly."
In the end, he had no other choice. Qi Yuncheng covered his mouth and imitated the sound. At the same time, he raised the knife and said, "Poof! With one strike, the head fell to the ground."
Luan Yunping's head was rolling forward.
Cross the road."
"ah?"
"Grrrrrrrrrr! Hey, it finally stopped."
"Why did you stop?"
"Wait for the traffic light!"
Hahaha!
Amid laughter, Luan Yunping's expression almost twisted, "If I have to behave like this, am I going to behead myself?"
"The light turned green after a while. The gurgling started rolling again.
When someone crosses the road, they have to shout when they turn around."
"What to shout?"
Qi Yuncheng raised his voice and said, "What a fast knife!!!"
"I'm too cheap, even if I die, I still scream."
"So this decapitation has to be done quickly. If you kill people with a dull knife, it will be bad."
"Why not a dull knife?"
"Let's give another example, a dull knife, but I won't mention the previous ones. On New Year's Eve, buy lottery tickets for your birthday!"
"Okay, okay!" Luan Yunping said, holding on to the table, "It's all yours, and those two girls are also for you."
"You are generous, but do you know that the child is not yours?"
"What nonsense, tell me quickly."
Qi Yuncheng nodded and extended his right hand to introduce, "This sword was handed down from the Tang Dynasty and has never been sharpened.
The blades of that blade are all serrated.
At this time, the official asked for instructions, "Sir, the time has come."
When the supervisor turned around, he punished him, cut him, and stunned him to death."
Luan Yunping suddenly complained, "This grandson hasn't been transferred yet, has he?"
"When he heard that he was stunned, the executioner raised his knife, ah! Oh!" Qi Yuncheng's hand that cut down stopped in mid-air.
"This is?"
"Hit the neck."
"Pieced?"
"Oops." Qi Yuncheng gritted his teeth and started sawing, cutting back and forth. After sawing almost the same, he said, "Sawing for three days in a row, guess what?"
"What's wrong?"
"You're starving to death."
"Fuck you."
…
…
Quack, quack, quack, quack!
"good!!!"
At the end of the last joke, the audience first gave a round of applause, and then cheered.
This is a good applause.
After the two of them finished saving their money, they immediately returned to the game.
The encore time is much shorter, and commercial performances are time controlled, so it can only take about ten minutes at most. The curtain call comes.
At the end of the curtain call, Qi Yuncheng himself didn't really want to say much more, because there was indeed a lot to say, and even if it was slow down, it would still be good.
So I asked.
"Let's sing something first. What do you guys like to listen to?"
"Skull sigh!!"
"Four and a half girl!!"
"The truth!!"
"The Legend of White Snake!!"
…
All of a sudden they were shouting and everything.
Extremely lively.
After hearing a familiar song title, Qi Yuncheng stood behind the microphone and wondered, "Does anyone still remember the four-and-five-dollar girl?"
I sang one in front of Master in Zhengzhou before."
"Remember!"
"Okay! You guys remember that I'm very touched. I'll just sing one first, and then let others come over and show off the show!!"
"good!!!"
The audience agreed, and Qi Yuncheng moved closer to the microphone. This song was originally released in later generations, but I didn't expect that anyone would like it.
That’s not bad, maybe it will become popular again, and you can sing more.
So he spoke directly.
"When we say that the heavens are close to each other, the heavens are not close to each other. There are sun, moon and stars in the sky~~"
Ha ha ha ha!
The audience in the audience couldn't hold it back any longer and couldn't stop laughing.
Luan Yunping, Dalin, and Yan Hexiang were also enjoying themselves, but they didn't expect him to say this first.
But it’s also reasonable and unexpected.
Who told him to have a rebellious heart...
At the same time, there was no one who didn’t admire it. As soon as the curtain call came, all the baggage was thrown away casually, which instantly made the place a little more lively and full of laughter.
You must know that when you go to a venue to listen to cross talk, in fact, not all the money is spent on the cross talk, but half of it is on the atmosphere between the audience and the audience.
After all, there are so many people and the atmosphere is great, so whatever you do is exciting and fun.
The picture is a lively one.
After all, if a person is alone at home and listens to cross talk, how can there be more than a thousand people listening happily together?
Of course, everyone has their own ambitions, and whatever you like is fine.
Just like that, after the commercial performance at the Poly Theater ended.
The performers in their group finally took a rest, talked for a while, and then went back to their homes.
It's not your place, so don't stay too long.
However, before leaving, Qi Yuncheng still called Master to report on the performance.
It was Luan Yunping who called just now. This time, it was clear from his tone that he was drunk.
It shouldn't be much, but it's enough to make him a little drunk.
But even if he is drunk, Guo Degang will not act drunk like the old man sometimes, and he seems to be busy with something when he is on the phone.
After Qi Yuncheng found out, he stopped talking.
But they went back one by one.
Once you get to your own home, there will be nothing wrong with you.
But Dalin felt so uneasy when he returned this time.
Especially when I went to Rose Garden Community, I really didn’t know what to do.
Because he really chose this show, and his father probably knows it too.
But there is no other way, this is home and I have to go back no matter what.
Walked for a while.
Dalin went to his living room.
My father was not here, and only my mother was watching TV series in the living room. It seemed that she was watching the recent popular My Fair Princess.
And saw Dalin coming back.
Wang Hui's eyes immediately shifted from the TV, and she got up with the urge to go to the kitchen.
"How's Yuncheng's commercial performance going? I just came back to catch up on some TV dramas. Do you want something to eat?"
"No, I'm not hungry. We have food for the occasion backstage. You'll be full as soon as you eat."
"Oh!" Wang Hui nodded, and immediately sat down and watched TV again. It seemed that he had reached the exciting part, and at the same time he said again, "Go to your dad's study. He has something to ask you."
"good!!"
You have to agree even if you don’t agree.
Dalin is not a person who likes to escape. The key is that he also realizes his own mentality and shortcomings.
So I immediately went to a back room on the second floor.
Knocking on the door, Guo Degang responded from inside before entering.
In the room, Guo Degang was wearing a pair of reading glasses and reading a very thick book.
When Dalin came over, he put it down and put it aside gently.
It seems very valuable.
"How was the commercial performance?"
"I opened the show, but my performance wasn't very good, and I caused trouble for my brother."
Guo Degang heard that he had met this before, because as soon as he came back from outside, he searched for Guo Qiling's cross talk on the Internet. Now this Internet.
As soon as the venue is over, someone will pass it on, so you can search for it as soon as possible.
After searching it, how could Guo Degang not be able to tell whether it was good or bad.
"The program you gave me?" Guo Degang was not completely angry yet, but when he recalled the cross talk, he was indeed very angry.
What makes me angry is not his poor performance, but his mentality.
That's what he's worried about.,
If the other disciples were a little careless, he would just say a few words to let them know and that would be it.
But since Guo Qiling is his own son, the situation is completely different.
In the eyes of a father, a small thing for his son can turn into a big deal.
At the same time, in the eyes of the media, they will be even more harsh on Guo Degang's son. After all, Guo Degang's apprentice and Guo Degang's son have two completely different perceptions.
So if he is not strict as a father, he will definitely encounter more troubles as a son in the future.