I should have loved you so much if there were no stars.
Speak famous languages with their light.
Because I pursue darkness, emptiness and nakedness.
But darkness itself is a canvas.
Thousands of them poured out of my eyes.
Look at the life that has passed away kindly.
Anonymous flipped through a few more pages, but couldn't figure out the main point. It was hard to imagine what the mental state of the poets was when they wrote these.
Suddenly I came across an article with a title called Masochism. Anonymous couldn't understand it, and I just felt shocked.
After a while it became boring.
I began to search for anything else that could infer Randy's history.
Finally he found some postcards and a lot of photos, including photos of him shooting prisoners, photos of him wearing military uniform and helmet and riding a motorcycle, all in black and white, and some of his past life.
The most important thing is that it is a diary that is not really a diary. It is packaged in a very worn cowhide cover and the things recorded inside are extremely confusing. Sometimes I write continuously for several days, and sometimes I even continue to write after several years. Occasionally, I write again.
There are also essays and some reflections.
As if he didn't want others to see his stuff, the anonymous person turned the whole room upside down, and finally found it in a hidden compartment of a drawer.
Took an hour to sort it out.
Anonymous has a general understanding of Randy's past, which cannot be said to be very tumultuous and exciting.
But all the consequences...
They were all created by this man, without any other reason, not because of any external factors.
It's all Randy himself.
It's your own fault.
The photo in that ancient pocket watch is indeed of Randy's family of four.
He is an extremely ordinary family. His mother is a competent full-time housewife and his father is a self-employed person who raises pigeons.
Randy is just like everyone else.
However, when he was a child, about eight or nine years old, he ignored his parents' warning and took his sister to play on the ice lake. Then the ice broke and his sister unfortunately fell into the lake.
Anonymous did not know whether Randy asked for help or took other actions at that time. After all, he himself did not mention it. In short, his sister drowned in the freezing water of winter.
From the information sorted out, Anonymous could not see any emotional ups and downs. After all, he only recorded it when he wrote it. I don't know what kind of mood he had when he wrote it.
This diary was written after he ran away from home. Some time had passed since his sister passed away. After that, he could no longer stand the atmosphere at home, and may have fallen into some kind of extreme regret.
In short, he ran away from home, and the things he recorded after that were very ordinary. They were some travel notes, all with a strong subjective consciousness. What ideologies worked and what didn't work, and they were all complaints or trivial contents.
Some years later, Randy was actually doing pretty well. Because he loved photography, he left a lot of photos.
In fact, the log is not detailed, it is just a rough guess by the anonymous person.
It wasn't until the war broke out that he thought of going home to visit his parents. After spending a lot of time during the war, he returned to a town near his hometown. He happened to hear that there was an airport built by the army there, so it was bombed half a month ago.
matter.
This gave Randy an unknown premonition, but he heard that many people in his hometown had already foreseen the danger here in advance, and most of them had evacuated.
This reassured Randy a lot.
In fact, when Randy returned home, he came to this devastated ruins and found the local provisional government team to inquire.
Only then did I know.
What is extremely unfortunate is that.
There were a small number of people in the city who did not evacuate in advance.
Among them was an old couple who impressed them deeply. It seemed that the old couple had a child who ran away from home when they were young. Because it was a war, they were worried that their children would never find them again after the evacuation, so they stayed in the city.
Waiting for the child to come back.
Half a month ago.
Already perished in the flames of war.
Anonymous closed the diary. These are just part of it. There are also many poems and articles written by Randy himself.
But the style is completely opposite to that in the previous poetry collection.
Although they are of excellent quality, they are all disgusting love poems, probably written in recent times.
He also learned the name of the lady who proposed tonight, her name was Julia, and she was a person of noble blood, at least in Randy's own ideology.
Anonymous looked at a picture framed on the table, and it turned out to be Julia.
What he didn't expect was.
Randy is such a simple and easy to understand person.
This framed photo, which Randy regarded as a treasure, was in black and white, but had a good artistic conception. Julia in an elegant dress was feeding pigeons by a beautiful lake.
Anonymous also probably guessed the reason why Randy was so fanatical, which might allow him to make up for something.
Perhaps it was his extreme self-blame that led Randy to place all the blame on the enemy and some special groups, leading him to join the war and vent his regrets.
What a...
People who bring it upon themselves.
Suddenly, for no reason, he felt a little scared.
Perhaps, the essence of some people does not need to be found.
Maybe it wasn't as important as he thought, but it was something that had to be abandoned.
In the deep realm.
in hell.
Only then can Randy find redemption.
Anonymous has completely lost interest in continuing to explore this person's memories. It is just a memory. Nothing can be changed. It is just an irreversible shadow that has passed by.
Because of thoughts.
It's infinitely fast.
In the deep world, the passage of time has not even passed in the blink of an eye or even one ten thousandth of an instant.
However, Anonymous still plans to complete the journey.
Three days later.
Since the internal leader of the Resistance Army has been found, many strongholds of the Resistance Army were interrogated under torture.
Anonymous led his soldiers to hunt and kill people in villages and towns.
Although the leader has been found, many of his remnants responsible for collecting information have fled the city. Randy's superiors ordered to kill all these resistance forces.
finally.
In a quiet herder's home, Anonymous heard the report that remnants of the resistance army might be hiding here, so he led people here to search for them.
The rolling hillsides covered with green grass, the sun was shining brightly, the blue waves were blowing, and the quiet and pleasant pastoral scenery was intoxicating. Anonymous Doe and his soldiers broke into the farmhouse.
The farmer was so frightened that he shivered. Although no clues were revealed, after a search, Anonymous was keenly aware that the position of the carpet in the room was incorrect, and it was obvious that the position had been temporarily changed.
There is definitely a basement.
He couldn't help but waved his hands to fire at the basement, making many holes in the floor. He also fired a few shots.
Then the sieve-like carpet was pulled off, and sure enough, there was a door panel entrance to the basement.
Anonymous ripped open the door panel.
Several people hidden inside had been shot to death. The narrow space was covered with blood, and the corpses were too horrific to look at.
Among them was a female corpse lying face down, which made the anonymous person somewhat surprised and familiar.
He entered the basement, blood covering the soles of his shoes.
Turn it over and take a look.
It was Julia.
Anonymous didn't know what to say. He didn't know why Julia was a member of the Resistance Army. In short, there was no doubt that he was approaching Randy just to collect intelligence.
As for whether she has a crush on Randy.
Presumably only she knows.
Anonymous guessed that there was no such thing, but he did not dare to conclude that no one in this world could master the ability to read minds and would never know what others were thinking. This was an indelible barrier.
It is also the origin of all wars and misfortunes.
