Xun Lang noticed something strange at the beginning of Tang Yili's sudden emotional talk.
In the eyes of others, it was the painful memory of Tang Yili's violence against Townsend, but Xun Lang knew very well that Townsend was just Tang Yili's prey, and how could the prey bring psychological shadow to the hunter.
The person who could cause such harm to Tang Yili was another real, humiliating person who made her pregnant with Xun Shao'ang.
The one who dragged her, tied her up, and forced her in was her beloved husband at the time.
That night was the past that Xun Lang had always wanted to forget and ignore, but by some strange combination of circumstances, they actually sat in court and complained about this ugly marriage in public.
Xun Lang's face was as sinking as water.
He knew very well in his heart that at this moment, it was him who should sit in the defendant's seat and be tried.
The trial above was still going on, and Tang Yili's question and answer session was temporarily over. She exited the witness passage. Xun Lang listened for a few more minutes, but he was still unable to bear it, and he also walked out from the side door.
He walked a few steps quickly to catch up with Tang Yili in front of him, and grabbed her wrist regardless of the people around him.
He had the courage a few days ago, but today he suddenly became timid.
Xun Lang's hand just touched Tang Yili, and when she turned around, he suddenly let go.
"I think we should talk." There was some serious sincerity in his eyes.
Tang Yili's mood was not very high, her eyes were red, as if she had just experienced something, and her whole body felt exhausted after physical exhaustion. But she still followed Xun Lang to avoid people, and entered the door behind the safe passage sign.
Door.
The ceiling is a round arch made of cement, and the voices of people gather and amplify when they speak. This may be a building like an air raid shelter. It is cold and damp, and the environment is too harsh, but it is a good place where no one is disturbed.
Xun Lang's voice was low, with an indescribable calmness, "Ah Li, in court, I know you are talking about...it's me."
Xun Lang's voice was always low, but in the air-raid shelter in Longyin, his apology seemed to have traveled through the years and spent many days and nights before it reached her ears today.
"Ah Li, I have never apologized for what happened back then, but that doesn't mean I don't feel guilty."
"I'm sorry for causing you so much harm that I can still see the pain in your eyes two years later."
Although his pain may be no less than hers, the instigator has no right to complain.
He deserves it, he knows it.
"I'm sorry about that," he said.
Tang Yili looked at the mottled corner of the air-raid shelter. There was a peeling wall, like a wound that was recovering after healing.
After a long while, she finally spoke, her voice empty.
"Xun Lang, you are indeed sorry for me on this point."
Xun Lang resisted the urge to hug the person into his arms and stood at arm's length, "I know."
Tang Yili: "After you forced me, I was afraid of spending the night for a while. During the day, everything seemed normal, but at night, they seemed to turn into monsters. I was afraid that you would suddenly break in.
"
"Physical humiliation is only part of it. What I'm most afraid of is that you tear apart the truth about our marriage."
Xun Lang looked at her silently, with pain in his expression.
It was the sadness and humiliation that Tang Yili had kept in her heart for many years. Only after coming to Paris did she truly examine those subtle emotions from the perspective of a bystander.
"Xun Lang, you are the person I have pursued from beginning to end, including marriage. It was also because of some unavoidable reasons that you married me. This kind of initiative from beginning to end makes me doubt myself from time to time. Why?
I."
"Later on, we became suspicious of each other and quarreled, which gradually proved that this marriage was not suitable. You like to control everything, and I love the freedom of spontaneity. Our souls are not in the same frequency."
"Ali..."
Xun Lang was interested in explaining, and Tang Yili signaled to Xun Lang to finish.
"Of course, I'm not saying that you don't love me, but I wonder, is your love for the obedient me, or is it for Tang Yili, a living person? If it were anyone else who was similar to me,
If you are a girl who is active enough and obedient enough, will you also accept her and pamper her?"
"Whether she has talent or dreams, it doesn't matter to you."
Tang Yili smiled, somewhat disappointed, "Just like the cats you like to raise, you just need to give. You don't need the cats to talk to you, nor do you need them to give you anything in return."
Xun Lang was shocked in vain. He didn't know whether it was because he heard Tang Yili's voice that he had suppressed for many years, or because of his own throbbing pain.
He hasn't logged into the cat-raising game for a long time.
Ever since Tang Yili left, he was afraid to look at the cat. Once, he did regard it as a substitute for Tang Yili, buying it expensive food, a gorgeously decorated room, and seasonal clothes.
He bought them all and doted on it as he doted on Tang Yili, thinking that Tang Yili, just like it, would always be happy and satisfied.
But the fact is that every time Tang Yili resisted, he felt irritable and inexplicable - he had already given in without principle. Why, her wife was still unhappy.
Only today did he realize that his love seemed more like a one-way love with no return.
"Ah Li," after sighing softly, Xun Lang showed a sense of defeat after being confused, "I finally know that I loved you in the wrong way... Now it seems that besides being sorry, I don't know how to make up for it.
Your wounds, but I still have to say that our marriage may be inappropriate, but it is definitely not what you think. Someone else would be more suitable for me than you."
"If we go back six years ago, I would still fall in love with you. If we go back four years ago, I would still be willing to retire and marry you."
If he could do it all over again, he would still be willing to have the same entanglement with Tang Yili at every point in time. Those painful sweetness are the tenderness that he can never get again in this life.
"Of course, if the time goes back to two years ago," Xun Lang paused slightly and carefully glanced at the silent Tang Yili, "I am also very happy to have a child with you. Although it is against your wishes, but
But it is my last chance to keep you in my desperate moment."
"Ah Li, I know it's selfish to say this, but I -"
Tang Yili shook his head softly and took over what he wanted to say.
"Although the results should not be used to infer the rationality of the process, I would like to say that the existence of Shao'ang alleviated my aversion to that matter to a great extent."
"My son is very cute. I am willing to give up something in exchange for the opportunity to become mother and son with him. So, Xun Lang, I am willing to turn the page that night."
Xun Lang knew that Tang Yili still had a long way to go, and the past where pain and sweetness coexisted were her burden. In order to move forward, she chose to let go of the unpleasant memories.
That was not forgiveness, but for the sake of the distance, she chose to reconcile with the past.