I also read through all the comments from everyone in the previous chapter.
Sincerely thank you all for your support and encouragement!
Everyone’s understanding warms my heart. This kind of understanding is a breath of fresh air in the online literary circle. Many times, I feel very lucky.
You and I are lucky to meet each other!
Nine out of ten things in life are unsatisfactory, so such luck is actually a kind of luxury. At least I know that many Internet writers can only hope for it.
Some time ago, I really hit a trough.
Both physically and mentally depressed.
The new coronavirus is more like the last stone that breaks the camel's back. It is not straw, it has weight.
In the middle of the night some time ago, I could feel the weakness of my body. Every violent cough was a weak gasp of pale life.
After it turned cloudy, I took a walk in a deserted corner.
When the sun shines on my body, I feel like an old black and white photo. I can't feel the warmth, and I am alienated from the world.
At that moment, I realized that I was so tired!
My body and mind were really exhausted to the limit, so tired that I couldn't feel tired, so tired that I felt numb.
It wasn't until the COVID-19 hit that I broke this numbness.
Perhaps, this is the price of pursuing dreams?
I think!
Many friends left messages behind the book, on WeChat, and on QQ to care about me and comfort me. Although I was grateful, I knew that the main reason was me. All of this was caused by my actions.
It’s me who is paranoid, it’s me who hits the wall and never looks back, it’s me who is constantly rebuilding, it’s me who is indulged in the whirlpool of countless clues, characters, and plots…
Do you regret it?
Pooh!
When I spat, even if it was accompanied by blood and broken teeth, I still looked disdainful.
I do not regret.
That's the kind of person I am.
Now that I am at a trough, it is just because external conditions do not allow me and my body does not allow me.
It's not me who's stopping me.
But it has to stop - it's the world roaring in my ears.
I know: this world is material. The material world does not depend on the human spirit.
"It has to stop." I told myself, after careful consideration.
I raised my index finger towards the sunset and said, "Just a pause!"
Isn’t the meaning of life in the process of chasing dreams?
People are always going to die.
Most people can't wait for wonderful results.
Therefore, in many cases, the "process" is actually the result.
If I were just a person, I would still be willing to move forward even if the soup was clear and watery.
But I'm not now.
Therefore, some time ago, I suddenly understood many people that I had never understood before. Those creators were alone and almost drowned in their personal loneliness.
I no longer have this kind of loneliness and freedom.
It's because I'm too greedy and hope for ordinary people's happiness.
I admit it.
I pay the price for my greed, and suspension is the price.
""I don't want to give up, but I have to pause. After writing the second volume, I pause. (It took so long before, there must be an explanation. The explanation I give to everyone is also an explanation for myself during this period.)
Then you have to make money and change the material world.