I once had a very, very good boyfriend who loved me very much.
He gave me everything he could, even what he couldn't give me.
We came from remote towns and worked very hard to survive and gain a foothold in big cities.
Consumption in big cities is very high, and the fast pace of life makes us breathless.
To save money, we lived in a cold and damp basement.
The place is really small and there is no toilet, so you have to go outside to use the public toilet.
The area of less than ten square meters was filled with debris, which made me feel that the air was depressing.
But even so, he would still make me happy in different ways every day and cook me a lot of delicious food.
At first, I wasn't too dissatisfied with this kind of life.
I was full of passion and thought that I must make money, make a lot of money, and then move out of here.
I made an agreement with him to work hard and make money, just to be able to move out of the basement and live in a spacious and bright house.
But this society's requirements for women are really too high.
Our job search was not smooth at first. He did not find a job and temporarily worked as a hard laborer to make ends meet.
As for me, I was dismissed from one company after another.
There is not even a decent job.
Until I was about to give up, I was accepted by a studio.
This is a huge surprise to me.
Although the job model is not very big and the salary is not very high, even so, I happily accepted it.
Because it is really difficult to find a suitable job in such a big city.
My job is the boss's assistant, and my monthly salary is 3,000.
At that time, it was very difficult for us to stay and survive in such a big city.
On that day, the two of us bought a roast duck extravagantly to celebrate.
For us at that time, a very small thing could make us happy for a long time and it was extremely easy to be satisfied.
But when I went to work, I realized that things were not as simple as I thought.
Although I was admitted, there was a three-month probation period.
I have to pass the test before I can stay.
My colleagues in the company don't seem to like me very much. They say that the clothes I wear are too cheap.
And I also discovered that the boss seemed to like to use his hands and feet.
He maintains a very close relationship with every woman in the company, which makes me feel uneasy.
Until the day I got off work, my boss took me out to buy clothes.
He said that if I wore too much clothing, it would affect our cooperation in negotiations.
It was that day that I felt a different kind of life and world.
My boss bought me a lot of clothes. Those beautiful clothes under the lights in big shopping malls are also beautiful clothes that I never dared to think about before.
I never thought I would be so beautiful.
It turns out that I am not an ugly duckling.
Buying clothes, getting my hair done, and buying bags, it was like I had completely changed my look.
When I saw the prices of the clothes and bags, I flinched.
A skirt costs 3,000 yuan. Isn’t this my monthly salary? I quickly asked for a refund, “I’m sorry, I don’t want this skirt. No, I don’t want any other clothes here.”
I realized that I couldn't wear the clothes in the window because they were too expensive.
Boss: "Don't you like it?"
Me: “I like it very much, but it’s not something within my purchasing power.”
The boss took out his card and already bought the order: "It doesn't matter, just buy it as long as you like it, so what if it's not within your spending capacity? Mina, you can't always rely on yourself, this society has always been like this, you have to learn
Depend on men.”
"Besides, every woman outside is dressed up and beautiful. This is the woman in the big city. Only by being beautiful can you get more opportunities. Do you understand?"
"Also, be kind to yourself."
His words gave me a new insight.
It feels like the door to my new world has been opened.
When I got home, I seemed surprised by my change, especially when I saw the prices of my clothes and bags, I was silent for a long time.
If you ask me where I got the money to buy these, I can only say that they are company benefits.
The next day, I went to the company.
My colleagues who always ignored me in the past seemed to have suddenly changed.
They all came to my side and talked to me.
"Mina, can't you tell? She looks pretty after a makeover."
"Yes, your figure is really good."
“This hairstyle looks great too.”
"It would look better if I put on more makeup or spray some perfume."
"That's right, let me recommend a perfume."
…
They were all complimenting me, praising me for my good looks and being close to me.
This greatly satisfied my vanity.
Later I realized that at that time I had extremely low self-esteem, which was why I longed for someone to talk to me and get close to me.
The first time I got a month's salary, I spent it all in one day.
I bought a lot of cosmetics, and of course, I also bought a perfume worth over 1,000 yuan.
Even when I didn't have enough money, I listened to my boss and opened a credit card.
Later in life, I became even more unrestrained.
I swiped my credit card and bought a brand-name bag.
As soon as I went to the company, I was surrounded by everyone, and when everyone flattered me with their happy and envious eyes, I admit that my vanity at that time was about to explode.
This kind of life surrounded by others and envied by others is simply not a good life.
And I don’t dare to face it.
When I went back that night, my expression was serious and seemed a little angry.
He took out a long list of bills and asked me what was going on.
I hurriedly snatched the bill away and answered guiltily that it was okay.
"Mina, I've already received calls for credit card repayments. How much money do you owe on your credit card? Also, how much did you spend on these bags and clothes?"
I clutched the bill in my hand tightly: "I will find a way to pay it back on my own, don't worry."
He let out a long sigh, "I hope we haven't forgotten our original intention of coming here in the first place."
I called home and asked for money. I even used all my savings to pay off my credit card.
It was from that moment on that I decided not to indulge in such a world anymore.
I canceled my credit card and decided to start over.
But people, once they live a good life and experience the joy of money, how can they be willing to wake up and face the fact of poverty?
The friendships I had managed to build in the studio were immediately shattered.
I seem to have lost everything.
"I can give you the life you want, and I can give you everything you want."