Wang Ping'an was woken up by the ringtone of his cell phone.
He suppressed his anger at having his sleep interrupted and answered the phone: "Hello, who is it?"
There was a sweet voice on the other side: "Hello, Xiecheng Tourism is now launching a special seven-day tour of space, which allows you to experience what it's like to be an astronaut..."
Wang Ping'an could no longer suppress his anger and roared into the phone: "I'm an astronaut! I'm the mission control commander, with the rank of lieutenant, do you understand? Do you understand!"
After saying that, he threw the phone onto the pillow.
Today's mobile phones have the function of intelligently judging whether the owner wants to hang up, so they hang up automatically.
Wang Ping'an cursed angrily: "Why don't you have a smart reject function?"
Unexpectedly, his words activated the mobile phone's AI, so the AI replied: "According to the new three laws of robots..."
"That's enough, shut up!" Wang Ping'an, who was still in a state of anger, cursed.
The AI automatically silences the sound.
When he first started taking vacation, Wang Ping'an installed a "humor module" on his AI. When encountering this situation, the AI would say "Theoretically, I have no mouth."
At first, Wang Ping'an thought the talkative AI was fun, but after using it for half a month, he removed the module because it was too annoying.
As a person who likes to talk too much, Wang Ping'an realized for the first time how annoying he was. From then on, he made up his mind to be a concise and to the point person in the future.
This determination probably only lasted two days.
After hanging up the phone, Wang Pingan got out of bed and looked around his single apartment. Well, it was still as messy as yesterday.
Most bachelor's dormitories are probably like this.
Other bachelors might still have beer bottles and ashtrays full of cigarette butts, but Wang Pingan is an astronaut, and he will lose his job if he drinks and smokes.
He stood up, found some clothes and put them on, then went to the bathroom to wash his face.
As soon as the bathroom faucet was turned on, the phone rang again.
Wang Ping'an sighed and said, "Get on the phone."
The screen of the mobile phone that was still on the pillow automatically unlocked and entered the call interface. An old voice came: "Wang Pingan! Why did you violate the operating procedures again last time you flew!"
Wang Ping'an curled his lips. The only person who would start like this was his class teacher at the Space Flight Academy. The old man must have found out about his punishment.
"I saved the spacecraft." Wang Ping'an replied, "I just omitted 200 steps in the operation manual. As you told me, the operation manual was written by engineers who had never been in the sky, so you can just ignore it."
"When did I tell you this?"
"During class, you also said that if you can't find the problem, just use a wrench to hit the broken equipment. I have tried it, and your experience is very useful."
"Is this why you scrapped so many pieces of equipment?"
Wang Pingan heard a sigh from the other side of the phone.
Then the class teacher changed his tone of voice and said sincerely: "Ping An, I am not talking about you. When you graduated, you were the first in that class. You were awarded the rank of lieutenant as soon as you graduated. After so many years, you are still a lieutenant!"
"I think the main reason why I have been a lieutenant is because I had a conflict with the colonel in charge of promotion in our flight group." Wang Ping'an said angrily, "That bastard thinks that I am seducing his daughter, but it is his daughter who is seducing me!
It was too late for me to run away! Bad luck! As a result, he always gave me little shoes to wear!"
Class instructor: "The colonel in charge of promotion? Do you mean Colonel Lu?"
"Yeah. He thinks I'm seducing his daughter!"
"Then did you hook up?"
"No." Wang Pingan said categorically, "I explained this matter to him very seriously. But he didn't believe it."
The class teacher sighed helplessly and continued: "I will explain this matter to Colonel Lu. However, it is really not Colonel Lu's responsibility that you cannot be promoted. The reason why you cannot be promoted is because your comprehensive evaluation contains this
One comment: No organization, no discipline, and lack of collaboration spirit."
"That's what he wrote!"
"This is the result of a comprehensive evaluation by the supercomputer. Colonel Lu has the right to change this result based on his own observations. At that time, his evaluation and the evaluation of the computer will be sent to the next level together, but you can tell yourself, he has
What's the reason for you to change this result?"
Wang Ping'an was silent. He didn't get along well with Colonel Lu, who was in charge of personnel. In fact, he didn't get along well with most of the leaders in the brigade. No one would like a subordinate who violated regulations all day long.
"I heard that you also gave yourself a radio call sign called The Lone Ranger?" the class teacher asked again.
Wang Pingan nodded: "Yes, because everyone else is a two-person crew and I am the only one flying."
"Hmph, you still think it's quite honorable? The 'Lone Ranger' in Top Gun can get away with it because his good friend 'Iceman' is the captain of the fleet and can protect him. Who can protect you?"
"You." Wang Ping'an said without thinking.
There was a complete silence over there. Wang Pingan continued to brush his teeth and it was time to wash his face.
He was grinding his teeth with an electric toothbrush when the class teacher said: "I'm about to retire. Just like in the movie, I can no longer protect you. Think about your future."
After saying that, the call was hung up.
Wang Ping'an finally finished washing and was sitting at the table ready to read today's morning news when the phone rang again.
This time the call was directly connected by the mobile phone's AI: "Lieutenant Wang, according to the psychological evaluation report, we think you need a partner. For this reason, we recommend..."
"I refuse! I can complete the mission. In fact, I complete it very well!"
"Lieutenant Wang," the person on the other side of the phone was probably the artificial intelligence of the Air Traffic Management Committee, "according to the latest flight regulations, the pilot we assign you will be a female, because according to your test results, you are a heterosexual...
…”
"I don't want it! I don't want it! Say it again, I don't want it! I can solve all the problems by myself. Woman - no, it's a partner. A partner has no meaning other than holding me back! Or, the regulations now stipulate that you can't fly alone.
?”
AI immediately replied: "There is no such rule. I wish you a happy last day of vacation!"
The phone was hung up.
Wang Ping'an let out a long breath.
Just then, the phone rang again.
"It's me, who is it?" Wang Pingan answered the phone and asked impatiently.
He was anxious to tidy himself up.
"Who? Your dad! You brat didn't go home for a while on vacation. Come back now. I know you astronauts can ride on the float for free. You'll be back soon. When I get back, I'll introduce you to a younger sister.
You know her! Beautiful!" Dad Wang Youcai still had the same squeaking energy, and as soon as he heard it, he knew that he hadn't run away.
Wang Ping'an sighed: "Dad, your generation's appearance is still uneven, but my generation has been genetically adjusted, and they are all beautiful."
"This is very beautiful! I'll send you a photo! And my girl works in the dispatch bureau, which will be good for you in the future..."
"Dad," Wang Ping'an said helplessly, "the dispatch bureau can only manage low-Earth orbit, and they have no control above the Earth's extreme high orbit. The one that controls us is called the Aerospace Management Committee."
"What a high orbit and a low orbit, just to fool your dad, aren't they all astronauts? Anyway, come back soon, it's really good-looking!"
Wang Ping'an frowned, and suddenly he came up with a plan. He casually asked the computer to retrieve a picture of a foreign beauty and projected it onto the color TV.
"Dad, don't worry about my marriage. I just asked the Aviation Control Commission to find a female partner for me. She is also very beautiful. It is normal for our astronaut male and female partners to get married! Come and let me show you the photos.
"
As he spoke, Wang Pingan pointed his phone at the color TV, took a picture, and sent it to his father.
Dad was silent, probably shocked by Aina's peerless appearance.
"Dad?" Wang Ping'an asked somewhat proudly.
"Well, she is quite beautiful, but she is a foreigner and you can't do it."
Wang Ping'an was drinking tea when he spit out: "What the hell?"
Detecting stains on the ground, the sweeping robot automatically dispatched and buzzed to clean the tea that Wang Ping'an had just sprayed.
"Oh, you know! Foreigners are very wild and you can't control it! How long do you have for your vacation?"
"Um, I'm leaving for Sundial Lagrange at 12 o'clock tomorrow, and I'm going to start recovery training."
"Why are you leaving so soon... No matter, you came back to see this girl today. You can talk slowly in the future..."
"Dad, it's not like you don't know. It's been more than a year since we went to Mars and back. Today, I met this girl and then left her alone for more than a year. Is this possible?"
"Can we communicate..."
"Communications are often delayed by a few minutes. How can this girl stand it?"
Dad was silent.
Wang Ping'an knew that this meant that his father had been convinced.
Finally, the person over there sighed: "Okay, I won't let you go on a blind date, but I can't miss this when I go home for dinner tonight! I must come back! I will cook your favorite beef stew with potatoes and braised eggplant for you.
! Let me tell you, this is an eggplant I grew myself. It is a real eggplant, not the kind synthesized with additives!"
Wang Ping'an curled his lips: "Okay, if you think about it carefully, I really should go home on the first day of the holiday."
"You know hindsight! In fact, your father knows what you are thinking! You just find us annoying! Really, how old are your mother and I, how many more years can we still bother you?
"When we are all gone and you are still alone, if you want to find someone to talk to, you have to go to a psychiatrist! Listen to my father, get married and have a child. We, the old couple, can still take care of each other now.
If you need help with your child, I can help you take care of it.
"When we can't move anymore..."
"Okay, dad, I'm going to the Aviation Control Commission to meet your foreign wife, and I'm dead!"
"You're a foreign wife! Look how beautiful you are. Now, what do foreign girls like to do? Anyway, be careful not to eat and walk around!"
After his father finished speaking, he hung up the phone. Wang Ping'an shrugged, put the towel and other things back in the bathroom, and picked up the lieutenant's uniform hanging on the wall.
After getting dressed, he looked at the "Future Female Partner" on the color TV, and then looked at himself in the full-length mirror.