I vaguely heard human voices in my consciousness, so I opened my eyes.
"I was scared to death. I thought you... Hey, you can't do this."
“···”
Su Yao sat up from the bed and found Xia Liangzhen beside the bed.
My mind slowly started to clear up.
"How long have I been asleep?"
"I called you all day and night, but I didn't answer your phone, so I came over directly and asked the locksmith to open the door."
Xia Liangzhen sighed, "You should have told me a long time ago that you wouldn't be able to survive like that."
“···”
Su Yao got up and when he walked to the living room, he found that his body was a little weak. It wasn't that there was any big problem, he was just too hungry.
The locksmith is still changing the lock at the door.
"Want to eat? Wash up and I'll take you out to eat."
"No need, I can do it myself."
He walked towards the bathroom almost unconsciously.
I also saw Youye's mug and toothbrush on it, and there was also a towel with a bear printed on it hanging on the pole. Those were also Youye's.
"Is this really okay with you?"
"You can't even let me take care of you, right? I'm just too tired. I took a nap and I feel much better now."
"Yeah?"
Xia Liangzhen looked at Su Yao suspiciously, paused and said, "Then let me order takeout for you. What do you want to eat? You're welcome, I haven't eaten yet."
Didn't refuse.
After all, Xia Liang really had good intentions, and his stomach was indeed extremely hungry. It was better to say that there was a fire burning in his stomach.
The locksmith quickly changed the door lock to a new one, handed the key to Xia Liangzhen and left.
After a while, the takeaway also arrived.
"How is it now?"
Try to communicate with Xia Liangzhen in a normal manner.
"My physical condition has always been fine, but... I just can't wake up to consciousness."
Speaking of this, Xia Liangzhen's expression became a little dark, and he quickly and brightly said, "I'm wondering if it would be helpful if you talk to Xiaoyue more."
"I'll try."
Fake.
Because Su Yao knows better than anyone else that Xia Xianyue died long ago. Now she is just a breathing body.
The so-called miracle means that when the person involved is not dead, it just means that the consciousness is imprisoned in the body. But now the consciousness is dead.
After dinner, Su Yao didn't go to the hospital with Xia Liangzhen. He just made an excuse.
When you go to a place like that, you can only see the body.
In short, after Su Yao watched Xia Liangzhen leave, he also left.
The destination is very clear, and it is impossible to just sit around and do nothing.
In the community opposite where I live, there is the house left by Youye's father.
"This house has been sold, didn't you know?"
"You said it was sold?"
"Yes, the owner seems to be in a hurry to go abroad. The house was sold at a very low price."
When I went there, I happened to meet an agent showing people the house.
"Hey! What are you doing?!"
Su Yao rushed in regardless, but found nothing.
The room, drawers, and books were all gone.
"Where are the things here?!"
"It has been taken away by the scrap collector a long time ago. Who are you? A friend of the owner? No matter who you are, the ownership of this house belongs to me now. Please get out."
"···Feel sorry."
Walking out of the house, Su Yao suddenly wanted to laugh.
So what if we find the email address her father left?
Apart from trying to destroy the situation created by You Ye that has nothing to do with me, it seems to have no effect.
It's like someone else is serious about saving you, but you insist on making trouble.
So what can you do on your own?
Stay and pray day after day. Cheer up from the bottom of your heart.
Now Su Yao realizes personally that there is no comparison at all between the powerlessness of dying without a purpose and the powerlessness of having a purpose but being unable to do anything now.
There is no way to know the outcome, and there is no way to do anything beneficial to the situation. All we can do is cower.
After that, Su Yao went home, cleaned herself up, pretended to look fresh and went to the hospital.
"You're here."
“···”
"Talk to her, I'll go out and get some fresh air."
"Um."
Why would anyone hope for such a stupid miracle?
The doctor said that there is a 90% chance that the patient will be like this for the rest of his life, and the remaining 10% are just to defraud money, or maybe he is empathic and does not want to make his family members despair.
Everyone has a glimmer of clear hope amid uncertainty.
Only those who know the truth know that the so-called miracle is a lie.
All the miracles that happen in this world are only possible because the person involved can do it. So, how do you expect a person who you know to be dead to be resurrected?
Just talk to a corpse here, and then the corpse gets up after being so moved? Stop talking about it.
“···”
He reached out and touched Xia Xianyue's soft cheek. Because he took good care of her, she seemed to be just asleep.
But suddenly I felt sick.
This is not her. In a strict sense, it is just a prop created using her corpse to deceive unsuspecting people and give them hope.
How can you have a good impression of something like this?
day to day.
A month later, under Xia Liangzhen's persuasion, Su Yao started to work from the hospital and his own home to two points and one line, and to the hospital, his own home and the university's three points and one line.
Regarding the money issue, the bank card of 350,000 yuan was frozen for some unknown reason. But I found out that the money from the sale of the property was actually deposited into my account. It belongs to Youye. In short, I can live without working.
Lin Xiaowan's consistent actions also impressed Su Yao.
Although this person has many disgusting points in his outlook on life, he only treats his friends sincerely. He always comes to share recent events with Xia Xianyue in a foolish manner, including quarrels with her boyfriend and the like.
.
The same goes for Xia Liangzhen, who would come even if she was busy at work. She seemed to have lost a lot of money because of her daughter, but she had never been unhappy about it. She also hired caregivers, but she would never let Xia Xianyue have only caregivers around her.
She offered to compensate Lin Xiaowan and Su Yao, but they were rejected.
But she changed the method again. Basically, it was her expense to go to the hospital. From her point of view, perhaps neither Lin Xiaowan nor Su Yao had an absolute obligation to do so.
day to day.
College, too, is extremely boring.
Because he used to be a dark and solitary character, but now he often behaves indifferently, and no one wants to interact with Su Yao beyond what is necessary.
That kind of thought just happened suddenly. To put it bluntly, it was like my old self meeting You Ye, and my life was temporarily filled up. After she left, a stronger sense of emptiness hit me, and I suddenly thought - is it better to die now?
good?
But compared to that time, Su Yao hated the "maybe" that Xia Liangzhen and Lin Xiaowan often said.
It’s not that I hate that they always pretend to be optimistic and cheer each other up.
Just because only you know the truth, the optimism you have to fake and the self-loathing you have to hide the truth continue to corrode your heart, and it is natural for it to completely break down at some point.
"I want to take her out to get some fresh air."
"Maybe I'll wake up while taking a walk and breathing the outside air."
Therefore, in late April, on a day when Xia Liangzhen and Lin Xiaowan were not around, and the caregiver was sent away, Su Yao picked up Xia Xianyue's body and placed her in a wheelchair. She used a brace to support her body.
In this way, he openly enjoyed the optimistic blessings from those who cared about Xia Xianyue and left the hospital.
There is no need to feel those meaningless things.
“···”
Su Yao just pushed the wheelchair and looked at the clouds that were dried by the sun like cotton candy, and he was in a good mood.
No last words were left.
Now think about it, why should a person who is destined to die leave behind those weird things? It would be better to die in an honest way. After death, he will have to shirk responsibility and assign the title of sinner, all to himself.
The only thing I can imagine is that today is a good day to die together.
Pushing a wheelchair.
Passing by her house, that was the place where I met her for the first time.
"At that time, you were completely yandere. To be honest, I was disgusted. Later, I even thought that you could just die. It has nothing to do with me."
Don't get me wrong, I'm not talking to a puppet in a wheelchair. I'm just talking to myself.
We passed by the cinema where we watched a movie together.
cafes.
···
I found that I had been to very few places with her and my relationship was really strange. I didn’t do anything, but I just grabbed her umbrella and went home together. I thought it was too noisy and told her where the shoes were hidden.
That's all.
Is it worth being remembered for ten years?
"If the world were full of stupid women like you, I really don't know what it would be like."
We also passed by the foot of the scenic spot where we climbed the mountain together.
It’s not that I’m here to reminisce about my memories with the puppet, I’m just here to think about You Ye.
Thinking of her confession.
When did she start liking herself?
Not sure.
It's just that it was a mistake to treat Youye like a child from the beginning. Also, how could such a smart Youye be so ignorant all the time.
Who can fully explain emotional matters.
But to ask yourself whether you like it or not, before being confessed, you had imagined that You Ye would grow up and live with someone else.
The conclusion that can be drawn is that regardless of whether he had other thoughts at that time, he definitely did not regard Yu Ye as a member of the opposite sex.
But now, I can't tell. Maybe it's still the same, or maybe I have new ideas.
Maybe we can come to a conclusion if we meet again.
But it’s probably difficult to meet again. For Youye, she said those words and kissed her. As long as she recalls her expression and moist pupils at that time, she will know that for her, it was both an expression of her feelings and a farewell.
.Otherwise, why do you have to give yourself a chance to wake up later?
In more than a month, no unusual news was found, and no one found it. Probably, the matter was solved perfectly by her as You Ye said.
She doesn't want to see herself again, so that's okay to understand. Because she doesn't want to cause trouble to herself, that's understandable.
I pushed the wheelchair for too long and passed by too many places. Even Xia Xianyue was exposed to the sun and my cheeks turned red. But the sun had already started to go down the mountain.
Su Yao also pushed her to the foot of the hillside where she first met You Ye, and carried her up step by step.
There is a couple here, kissing each other passionately.
“…?!”
He was startled when he found Su Yao carrying Xia Xianyue up on his back. He didn't know what the man said in an unpleasant tone, but he led his flushed girlfriend away.
It's exactly what Su Yao meant. Only when no one bothers you can we take the next step.
"Buzz-"
My phone has been vibrating since I started climbing the stairs.
People keep calling.
Xia Liangzhen.
"Where did you take Xiaoyue? Why haven't you come back yet?!"
There was a stern tone on the other end of the phone, "Her current health cannot allow her to stay outside for a long time."
“···”
"Where are you? I'm driving over now."
“···”
"Hello? Su Yao?!"
"...Ah, it's near my house. You can drive here."
Why answer?
End the puppet's life at this time, and then end your own, and you won't have to think about anything for a moment.
But when I suddenly saw the missed call and heard Xia Liangzhen’s voice, I felt that whether it was a lie or the truth, was it really that important?
Yes, it is true that one day they will despair, but it is not their duty to let despair happen in advance.
wrong.
Nonsense...
Obviously, the hand holding the utility knife could not leave a new wound on her neck where the scar had not been completely eliminated. Otherwise, why would the hand be shaking?
That's right, don't look for those high-sounding reasons.
What he really meant was that he also had some hopes for this boring puppet.
I can't laugh or cry.
It turns out that this is the case. I was also infected by them. Since when did I start to have hopes that I knew were false but forced myself to believe them.
If you can't even be a sinner, what can you expect if you don't do well?
Su Yao Tathagata put Xia Xianyue on his back again and took her back to the foot of the mountain. The wheelchair was still there. He put her on it and fixed it, and pushed her back to the downstairs where she lived.
Xia Liang came really quickly, and quickly found Su Yao's specific location after making a phone call.
"Su Yao, are you under too much pressure recently?"
"There's no need for this. Xiaoyue's current condition... she won't wake up right away."
"Oh, let's get in the car first and then talk."
“···”
"No, I'm a little tired. I want to go home and rest first. I'll bother you about the rest."
"...Okay, please take some rest."
Xia Liangzhen seemed to be in a hurry to send Xia Xianyue back to the hospital, and drove away without saying much.
Watching her disappear into the traffic while driving her car, Su Yao smiled and turned back.
Climbing the stairs.
If your eyesight is high, you will find that the entire city is sprinkled with crimson by the setting dusk. This scene is not bad as a pastime before death.
When a person sits down on the grass again, overlooking the city, then various hopes that he doesn't want to admit emerge.
For example, will You Ye run out at this time?
For example, when she received a call at this time, Xia Xianyue was really alive.
How could such a good thing happen?
There is only one thing to do and no more expectations for boring things.
You Ye no longer has any scruples. She can live a better life without herself. How could she be the only one in the world who can accept her? She even doesn't need to find anyone to accept her. There are a lot of people in the anthropomorphic state.
like.
Fundamentally, this world is not our own in the first place. It is just a passer-by, or a bug.
“···”
Looking at the phone, no one is calling.
Looking at the stairs, no one is coming up.
Looking at the sky, the crimson color is getting darker and darker, and the street lights on the roadside have been turned on one after another.
There is nothing left to miss.
"Puff——"
Su Yao clenched the utility knife and stabbed it into the heart.
A healthy heartbeat began to beat hard, and large streams of blood began to stain the blue shirt. Speaking of which, the coat I was wearing, the one bought by Xia Xianyue, had better not get dirty.
I wanted to take it off, but it felt too difficult. Forget it.
Lying on the ground, I gradually began to feel no throbbing pain. I could only silently feel the blood overflowing on the ground. Life was being extracted from my limbs and bones.
This was obviously a real death, but Su Yao stared blankly at the small white dots in the sky. They were lit, were they stars?
Unfortunately, it moved. It was probably some kind of aircraft.
Then, I watched the nothingness in the darkness, and the willful ending of my consciousness.
【You are dead】
ps: I accidentally pressed ctrl+v twice, which resulted in a subscription price of 8,000 words. It felt too hypocritical to ask for a refund, so I wrote free content for additional compensation in Junyang.
ps: I accidentally pressed ctrl+v twice, which resulted in 8,000 words at the beginning. It felt too hypocritical to talk about refunds, so I wrote free content for additional compensation in Junyang.