Reminiscing about the long past.

Sent to this world.

Killed by a monster.

Fear.

fear.

···

And until I get along with it day and night.

I also think of Chandelier March. I remember that stupid woman was humble and selfish to the point of disgusting, but in the end she made people feel warm feelings.

I also remembered riding a fish across the sea with You Ye.

Thinking back to the first time Youye's self-righteousness blossomed and allowed herself to live alone.

Ten years later, I still remember everything, including the cute faces of the two children.

Go to the convenience store where my mother works.

Shooting and killing anyone in court is remembered.

Children from single-parent families may mature earlier.

I thought I could get better. I began to gain confidence, walked into school without fear, and began to explore the world with curiosity.

Because I don’t want to see people, I only go out quietly at night and late at night to take a look.

"She doesn't have many friends. I think she might get along well with the teacher."

The reason why I was able to go to Dongshi University to report again was because I searched on the Internet for such a stupid question as "How do people find the motivation to live?"

It’s not clear how Jasmine did it, but she certainly didn’t feel any pressure from her and it was clear that she was indeed interested or listening attentively.

Only when you are mentally mature and can truly think about yourself will you have the opportunity to take off these colored glasses.

That thing was not as simple as it seemed to me when I was a child at that time, but who cares about what happened ten years ago?

I guess my mother doesn't want me to recall the past ten years ago, but now that I see things about her, my mood doesn't change.

But it is because of this little thought that I actually made some friends.

"Because the teacher has never received or called anyone here. It's normal not to have a girlfriend, but if you have friends, you will check your phone at least once and send messages."

I have never seen anything like this with Jasmine. When she can pick up a topic, she will add a little bit of her own opinion in a gentle voice. If she can't pick up the topic, she will show curious eyes and urge the other party to continue talking.

But it's a pity that I waited too long in order to find a way out for myself.

"Big brother."

It’s not that I suddenly gained motivation from these words.

"Teacher is very similar to my good friend in many ways."

Well, it’s Jasmine.

Every time I went there, either the nanny would make good tea, or she would make good black tea herself.

We are all adults, so in order not to affect our credits, we all tacitly call anything that happens outside school an accident. The school doesn't bother to pursue it, since they are all minor injuries anyway.

However, what will happen if I get admitted to Dongshi University when my mother is no longer there?

There is really no way to define this as a good thing, so there is no way to smile about it.

But everyone is like this, right?

Wearing a mask during the day, only in the dead of night will you take out your heart and repair it, barely surviving the night, so that you can force a smile during the day.

And it’s amazing and something I still can’t understand.

Jasmine is probably the completely opposite type of social butterfly to me.

I think it is impossible for adults to kneel down.

During the ten-year timeline, Su Yao rarely tried to understand her mother from her perspective.

From the point of view of cannibalism, he is a bad person.

I have never told you how you felt about giving birth to me.

“···”

This kind of person is really rare, at least it is the first time for me to see him.

Can something be defined as a good thing if the only person who can share it is no longer there?

It sounds a little funny.

Who will define it?

Who defines bad?

If someone's cherished being is about to die, then you only need to kill another person's cherished being to survive.

But there must have been many insignificant details that made me understand that she didn't hate me in my subjective consciousness.

"What I said... I feel so miserable when I hear it."

"Are you talking about matchmaking?"

And because of this disgust, I began to look at every move she made and every word she said through colored glasses.

Because being able to tell my mother about "successfully admitted to Dongshi University" would make her happy, so it was logical to call it a good thing.

——

I can’t tell how I feel relieved now that things have happened.

I began to hate Xia Xianyue from a long time ago again. Why is the ghost still lingering until now?

That was what she suddenly said one day.

"Ah Yao..."

Some people say that you should go to work when you are prone to wandering thoughts. Once people become busy, they will no longer have free time to think about philosophy.

"ah?"

Those voices seemed so close.

Hate everything.

I don’t want to whitewash those who kill the same kind of people, I just want to say that no matter whether a person is a friend, a relative, or a lover... everyone is treated with their own subjective consciousness.

I asked.

“···”

All I can think about is... Do I need to change my shoes for such a beautiful carpet? Should I speak louder or softer? If I need to change my shoes, are the socks I wore today a little dirty and can I show it to others? What did she think when she saw me looking so shabby?

Aren’t you starting to dislike it already?

But I was very honest and explained my situation openly and honestly to the instructors who cared about me.

The university's academic office called and asked when to report.

The music teacher who recommended me to be Jasmine’s tutor told me that Jasmine went to study abroad for family reasons.

There is also alcoholism.

Now I remember.

It is undoubtedly a good thing to be admitted to Dongshi University.

It's like a person who has been sleeping for a long time is suddenly being called out...

Sometimes I hate her so much that I would question her coldly, "A prisoner like me shouldn't have been born."

I've figured it out a long time ago.

It doesn't matter, it's just a scheming thing anyway, and it doesn't cost a lot of money.

Does it mean that my mother looked at me with more disgust when she gave birth to me than when she asked me to kneel down?

Do you often stare at me crying in the cradle and think about strangling me to death?

"No, they are good friends. From the bottom of my heart, I think maybe she can become friends with the teacher."

In the end, I didn't meet her good friends either.

Don't want to go to school.

···

God knows how long I watched.

——

Jasmine held her chin with one hand and looked out the window, "I can't explain clearly, but it just feels like it."

"No. If it's something or someone you're worried about, you should at least check the time. If you don't pay attention to anything, it means that the teacher doesn't care about anyone or anything."
To be continued...