With the help of my seniors, I spent more than half a month working up the courage to reply to Jasmine.
Her family told me that Jasmine was studying in a closed aristocratic academy for women and it would take a month before they could reply.
However, her family said solemnly on the phone, "Jasmine specifically asked us to tell you if we receive a reply from you. She and you have always been the best friends."
I'd be very grateful.
Jasmine's ability to forgive people like me is due to her gentle character. And I don't want to live up to this. I plan to cheer up and live as gentle as Jasmine, and never become as ugly as before.
I originally believed that I would never be able to find someone like Jasmine again in this life, but people's fate is very strange.
Found it again.
It's very similar to Jasmine, but completely different.
"The name of the tutor that Jasmine cares about."
"What are you doing? Don't wipe your nose on me."
"No, we are just friends now."
I picked up the coffee and took a sip. I really didn't like the bitter taste, "Excuse me, who are you as a senior?"
When someone tells me something, I just look away with vague words.
"Yeah...yes."
"I hate seniors!"
I can no longer tolerate not caring about makeup, clothes, eyebrows, hair, etc. like before.
Maybe it’s because you feel the same way?
I have never experienced a complete family. I remembered that I was huddled in a house full of garbage, with insects and mildew running around. My father read the newspaper in silence, and my mother was still in a cult and didn’t know the so-called prayers. I was in the corner again
Cut your wrist with a utility knife and watch the blood flow to relieve the pain.
“···”
It is also impossible for me to change my first choice and I have to report to Dongshi University.
'When I come back, I must introduce him to you.'
"There's nothing to delve into. I'm glad to have someone like you here, but please -"
Indeed, there is a lesson preparation ppt. There is no name about Jasmine, but it was all mentioned by her at that time.
At first I couldn't confirm that I really had feelings for my senior.
I did ask.
kneel.
From what Jasmine said, I completely knew and understood that she seemed to really like that person.
He smiled without showing his teeth and looked at the senior student gently.
I understand this is all my fault.
"Also, please don't tell Ah Yao about meeting me or accepting this business card."
"Is there anyone Jasmine cares about?"
"Don't you hate it... That's right."
"Calling you out probably bothers you a lot, right? My main purpose today is to give you this."
She said it was because she and her senior had many common topics in literature, and there were all kinds of details that she liked. In her words, her senior almost became a perfect ideal boyfriend.
But I have no money.
Jasmine's words and the clear affection that emerged from her dialogue.
"I should be feeling uncomfortable, right?"
“···”
About being betrayed.
Senior is the kind of character who can't let go of the people he cares about.
"Woo."
"It's not embarrassing to like someone, but it's something to be happy about. I was worried before that you would have some problems if I wasn't around. Now it seems like there's no problem at all."
"Well, it's a little late for me to realize this, but it's not too late yet?"
"What are you talking about? Why would I do something to make my senior sad? But that friend of yours is really... It's hard to explain in words."
I plan to keep hinting to the senior as Jasmine said, and wait until sooner or later the senior can't bear it anymore and confess his love to me.
"Excuse me, can I ask you a question straight to the point?"
"Do you have someone you like?"
"I'm not..."
I didn't ask for a business card, "And if the senior hates you, I shouldn't accept your things on his behalf and accept your so-called protection."
"Could it be that you are very energetic?"
I was not shameless and used the same excuses that I used to fool her friends that day to fool her. Maybe it was my desire to win? Or maybe it was because I could see that unlike her friends who came to mess around with her that day, she was reasonable and at the same time
People who really care about their seniors.
It was obviously me who took the initiative to inform the senior, but now I feel annoyed that the senior kept silent about that woman. Yes, it’s not dissatisfaction, but just unfounded anguish.
She took out a business card from her bag and said, "This is my contact information. If you encounter any difficulties that cannot be solved, you can contact me at any time."
It feels very uncomfortable to hold it in my heart.
The senior told me about his past without any secret.
I received help from my mentor and was given a new job.
If it were the same at the beginning, I would definitely have said a few irrelevant words, but now I have changed.
No matter how cautious I am, I will always be like today.
But I was already in tears.
Jasmine and I talked all night long and worked out a new schedule to improve myself.
'Tomorrow we will decide where to die.'
"Ahh..."
"Strange, weird? No, right? I'm exploring the direction of becoming a real adult who can run without an umbrella."
As the senior said, people's hearts need objective facts to pry into.
Um.
I don't want my seniors to see my face getting hot.
"Are you and Ah Yao living together?"
But I really hope that the seniors will notice that even an inconspicuous girl like me finally no longer insists on wearing round-rimmed glasses and wears invisible ones. Although the nails are not specially styled, they still spend time and money to maintain and maintain the hairstyle.
I also went to a salon and asked someone to recommend a suitable one that can make my face look more lovely.
"I'm sorry, senior."
"Is it agreed? We all have to grow up to be adults who can run smoothly without an umbrella."
“···”
“···”
What about next year?
As long as the hint is enough, as long as there is confidence.
First, the woman who was related to the senior in the past said it herself. The current senior must trust her very much if she can bring a girl home. At that time, I noticed her jealousy.
Suddenly bumped into.
I know that my plan was mostly successful.
I don't dare to meet my senior again.
I didn't ask anything and continued to spend the week with my senior pretending to be nonchalant. It was time to have a regular phone call with Jasmine again.
I believe that girls really have a sixth sense.
This should be regarded as a fateful encounter, right?
All in all, although the process was a bit weird, I was very satisfied.
After getting the answer, I asked why Jasmine cared about her senior.
“···”
That night was the first time I actively hugged a senior.
She told me that there are good recovery methods for scars on my face abroad, and that they are almost done now, so I felt relieved. She also said that she planned to transfer back to winter university next year and re-enter the Winter University. She didn’t want to stay abroad and said she had made new friends abroad.
I still feel that I can't integrate as well as my domestic friends.
"Ah, maybe that's the case?"
But I'm not an idiot, and of course I know that the ultimate direction of the project will be a tool for me to completely give up my negative thoughts.
"That's not okay. I don't want to create a gap between you and the senior."
"You might not believe it."
Obviously after what happened to my parents, I hate men very much, but I just can't feel disgust towards my seniors.
To be more precise, it was when I happened to meet that woman’s friend at my senior’s house and had a big fight, and then I saw that beautiful woman come to apologize in person, and I was shocked to find that there seemed to be a thorn in my heart.
I feel more and more annoyed.
There are lovers in this world who, like me, will suddenly say, "The glutinous rice cakes my senior eats looks like shit" when eating, or they will pick their ears with their little fingers in front of the person they like, and then blow them off as if nothing happened.
.
All those words were replayed in my mind.
"But you must know how to improve your charm! Just let me become like you!"
"Stop teasing me... I'll be really embarrassed."
And the woman's inaction.
I spied a rare look of panic on the senior's face.
"puff--"
I think that's a joke. With Jasmine's level, she can probably have good interpersonal relationships anywhere.
"I've never been in love, so I don't know."
"Speaking of which, you've finally looked a bit like a girl recently."
"Let you remember such sad things."
Compared with Jasmine, the senior is neither gentle nor considerate of her friends.
I still maintain regular contact with Jasmine.
"Who am I?"
But I just know.
It’s this sentence again. It was because of this sentence that I was stimulated. So what now?
"Of course, Xiao Qing, you are different. Like your senior, you are also the only friend I bring home."
"Sorry, her personality is a bit awkward like mine."
"traitor?"
"I was surprised that a schoolgirl I didn't know suddenly confessed her love to her. She handed me chocolate and ran away. I was shocked."
"?"
"It's okay, you apologized like that."
'Let's go on a date after this is over! We all need to become good friends!'
Even though I never told Jasmine the name of my senior, Jasmine never said the name of the tutor she cared about.
I don't know why I feel so uncomfortable.
My confidence comes from two people.
"you···"
···
It continues until the senior's mother dies and is locked in a small room, depressed.
“···”
Um.
"Okay?"
I avoided my senior, used cold words to avoid him, and chose to disappear. I was afraid that I would make the same mistake again, and that my senior would know that he did not know the character that really belonged to me.
At that time, I clearly realized that the senior was not saying this to me. I also noticed that the senior paused at a certain serial number.
It seems that the story is not over yet.
It was then that I discovered that I not only liked the senior, but also simply wanted to possess the senior to myself just like I once wanted to possess Jasmine alone.
"I feel like you're getting a little weird."
"I treat everyone the same."
She took the business card back and stood up, "Then please tell Ah Yao that I..."
However, if you really put it down, why does the hand that takes back the business card tremble?
"Boom——"
This makes me don't know where to start.
But why do people who make mistakes and disappear silently have the right to yell?
"Is there one? It really is! But I really can't think of who it is. So many people have confessed to you. The ace of the football club? I feel like that guy seems to be a bit in line with your taste."
They even provided me with a ‘death plan’ when I wanted to commit suicide.
"Do not touch me--"
It's no secret that I have a strong crush on my senior.
It was also at that time that I felt the warmth of the hands caressing my hair for the first time.
"Ah? But I saw you always smiled kindly at him and handed him mineral water. I thought..."
I dare not tell Jasmine that the person she likes is the same person I like. My heart aches every time I echo her beautiful longings.
“···”
Hearing the still gentle voice of my former friend again made me almost burst into tears with gratitude.
But I really can no longer approach or tease my seniors as carefree as before.
'I should be as brave as you to hint him to confess his love to me! I have never taken the initiative to pursue a boy, and I find it very interesting.'
"Being able to take you back means that Ah Yao must trust you very much."
Although I cleverly joked with the seniors using old jokes, the woman's face still lingered in my mind after I went back.
The twisted things I had buried deep surfaced again.
I don't know what the seniors think of me.
"So, are you and Ah Yao dating?"
She smiled, "After all, keeping it will be a kind of protection. No matter what, I hope Ah Yao can keep smiling and live, even as a bystander."
"It will disappear without a trace and will never be disturbed again."
Being slapped by the person you trust the most.
Got an unexpected answer.
"No, it's nothing. I just occasionally go to my senior's house as a guest."
I really didn't mention it inadvertently. It can be regarded as taking the initiative to reveal the excessive things I did to Jasmine because of my possessiveness and taking the initiative to let go.
My senior never digs into my affairs. I like this kind of free and easy attitude towards getting along with each other, so I am willing to tell my senior about sad things about my friends and ask him to help make judgments and suggestions.
She stared out the window and laughed at herself, saying, "I call myself the betrayer of my companions."
However, this mood did not last long, and not long after, I was unexpectedly invited to meet by that woman.
Should that be an accident?
"The person I care about is a bit like Xiao Qing. I don't know what's going on, but I just can't resist that feeling. At first I just thought the person was pretty good, and I planned to let Xiao Qing get to know him too."
How come you and your senior became like brothers in the first place?
After hanging up the phone, I couldn't stop shaking all over.
That's the bad thing about people.
I didn't ask the seniors.
"Ah, hello. I'm Qiao Qing."
"It's just uncomfortable."
Now that all the ugly things have been seen, is it still possible to imitate Jasmine's soft-spoken demeanor?
"Senior Su Yao, I've always been a girl, right?"
"I need to pay more attention to the fact that I am a girl."
The twisted things in me didn't disappear with Jasmine at all, they were just transferred to the senior.
When Jasmine heard what I said about the senior, she was extremely surprised.
"If this doesn't count, what does? This matter needs to be reported to the United Nations as soon as possible."
My daily life fell apart.
"···Feel sorry."
Even the hairpins were changed.
"Ah Yao has never brought a girl home."
Also, since I started to pay attention to my appearance, my wallet began to shrink at a speed that was visible to the naked eye.
Just like a cat scratching its paw, it wants to know more and more.
I had to work part-time. Although my senior encouraged me to work-study while ensuring the quality of my studies, and even recommended an easy-paying job to me, if he knew that I was spending too much money in strange directions, I would probably be short of money.
Will he be blamed?
The good news is that Jasmine finally called me back.
“···”
It’s completely different from the image I saw at my senior’s house holding back tears and turning around to leave.
"Idiot, like me, should you talk to me or you? You are you, you can't be me. But I understand what you mean, you want to make yourself better, right? Let me tell you, appearance
Although it is an important goal to attract the other person, but as you are already very familiar with the other person, the first thing that should be improved is not the outside, but the inside."
I just opened my senior's unprotected computer without permission. If the senior is so serious -
“···”
"Senior..."
She said extremely seriously, "Don't do anything that makes Ah Yao sad."
“···”
I found that the senior was getting better and better, and the charm that was originally only known to me...no, only me, the woman who was once related to the senior, and Jasmine began to show its edge.
"I don't mean to blame you. Idiot, didn't you ask the question yourself? I just told the truth. After all, you told me about the senior you like."
I am partial to subjects, so I want to find a tutor who is good at liberal arts. He is a college student recommended by my music teacher before.
Second, as Jasmine said, pure friendship is rare between men and women, not to mention that the other person has no girlfriend and is so close to you. It’s strange that he has no ideas. Just work hard.
After finally meeting me, he immediately asked a lot of questions and wanted to be with me like before.
I always felt that there was a sense of loss in her tone.
"I'm sorry to say that."
"In addition, I sincerely wish you happiness."
I asked, "Is your name Su Yao?"
She was wearing clothes made of similar materials that I had seen in Jasmine's wardrobe, and her temperament completely made her look more like a young lady than Jasmine.
It was also the first time that I understood that there were people so similar to me in this world. I had never been so out of control in front of Jasmine, as if I wanted to cry with my senior's grievances, and the tears wouldn't stop.
"I don't know if I like it..."
“···”
"What are you crying for? It's like a homeless puppy barking, it's ugly."
"Then... what should I do?"
I dared not answer the phone call with Jasmine until a long time later.
“···”
‘···’
"No. I don't really like people coming very close to me when they're all sweaty."
"I thought you went somewhere else, but I didn't expect you were still in Dongda!"
She stretched out her hand, and I was stunned for a moment before standing up and shaking it back.
Why can't I notice it?
"Want to know?"
Sometimes I even surprise myself.
The senior showed a surprised expression.
"So."
To be honest, I am very curious about her past with her senior.
"It's not maybe, it's definitely. The person who can make Ah Yao smile now must be someone whom Ah Yao trusts very much."
"Nothing."
"As of now, there is nothing to feel uncomfortable about. The really difficult days have long passed."
"I am Xia Xianyue."
The voice was indeed sincere, without any pretense.
I have indeed changed subtly according to Jasmine's words, and even I can detect it myself.
It is impossible to just leave like Jasmine. She still has to live in the winter market and rely on work-study and official help to survive.
"Huh? How could Xiao Qing know?"
"Don't have anything to do with me in the future, and please pretend you don't know me when you see me!"
I picked up the scattered information with heart-wrenching heart and ran away without looking back.
real.
I don’t want to make the same mistakes again, let alone betray my friends. I don’t want to be controlled by twisted desires... I hurt my senior like I hurt Jasmine. People like me can just be alone forever.