When I was young, I had a brief time with my senior.
In fact, now that I think about it, it was at that time that we formed a bond.
The senior's mother is a very gentle person.
At that time, because of my family situation, I just couldn't help but want to escape and go outside.
"It's not good for such a beautiful doll to shed tears."
The aunt who said that was picked up and took it back.
Of course, you don't take it home.
I just went to her store, and she introduced her to a zero-sugar drink that was suitable for girls and would not make them fat. Then she asked me to try it.
——
When I came back to my senses, there was a time when I often went to convenience stores aimlessly.
I saw a bad-looking adult monitoring a blind spot and opening bottles of drinks with prizes. He didn't come to the counter to check out until he selected the bottle with prizes, so he could take away several bottles in a row every time.
I told my aunt, "That person only paid by twisting the cap of the bottle to confirm the prize."
But the aunt did nothing.
After the man left in fear, he sighed.
"Actually, it's not easy for him."
"I heard that my wife was involved in gambling and her family was in pieces. Don't look at him like that. A few years ago, he came here every day to buy soy milk. At that time, he seemed to be working as a civil servant in the city."
"Now because his wife took bribes to gamble in his name, her job is gone. Now it's very difficult to leave two children for him."
"Maybe you think this has nothing to do with you, and it has nothing to do with me. The main thing is that he took the drink in an unethical way, right?"
"What he got was free-flowing milk, probably for his young daughter to drink."
"But this person, even if he is in such a bad state, is a bit suspected of using it now and paying it later. But he will secretly put money on the shelf later."
"Can you understand what I'm saying?"
"But this is wrong."
I still feel bad.
"There are not so many right things in the world. I just say that it is within my own ability. It doesn't matter even if I give it to him for free. I hope this person can get better."
How can there be good people in the world?
To be honest, I don't believe it at all.
All the adults I have ever met are very bad. Including my parents, they are all very bad.
Because I felt that if I was always here, my aunt would definitely hate me. So I thought I had to do something to come here.
Just because of this purpose.
"This is your salary."
"Eh?"
When the money was given to me, I was really at a loss.
"Of course you have to pay for helping out, right? But don't tell others, or you'll be accused of being a child laborer. It's just pocket money."
Auntie pretended to be humorous and said.
"Pocket money?"
"It seems like I haven't taken it for a long time."
"Oh, it was just a joke. You deserve it."
"I didn't do anything..."
"What haven't you done? Thanks to you coming here occasionally, I don't have to work so hard sometimes. It's still very troublesome to check the accounts and order the goods while taking care of the customers. And even if you don't do anything, I plan to give it to you
Your pocket money."
"Why?"
"Because I think it would be nice to have a daughter, and it would be even better if she could become my daughter-in-law."
Is that a joke?
I'm a little shy, but I find it incredible. Before, I seemed to be a dispensable existence no matter where I was, but now I'm being taken seriously here?
Auntie never asked how I was doing.
It's just that when I go to her place, there will always be something that someone else sent me that I can't finish. Sometimes it's cheap snacks, sometimes it's more expensive jerky.
Later I also knew that it was for me.
Maybe, everyone knows that I am not doing well in this situation. Not asking is already the greatest care for me.
After thinking about this, I felt that my aunt was really a thoughtful person.
It won't embarrass me.
Maybe you know that even if you say it, you can't really change anything for me, so you only help me within your own limits.
To be honest, it really relieved my already devastated heart to a great extent.
Think about it now.
"What kind of daughter-in-law?"
"Mom, can you please stop trying to hook up with me when you see a pretty girl? First of all, you should also ask if it will bother others if you say this to others?"
When I first met my senior, I didn't like him.
It's envy and jealousy.
Why are other people’s families so happy?
The atmosphere among family members is so cordial, but I feel superfluous everywhere.
That day, my aunt invited me to have dinner with her at her house, and I left on the pretext that I had something to do.
It should be the camera that senior brought, right?
He said he wanted to take a photo, so he took the photo like that. Then he felt more and more sad and wanted to tell his aunt about his affairs.
But I was afraid that I would be disliked like this, so I voluntarily gave up going to the convenience store.
Because I feel that we are people from different worlds and should not be together.
——
【Death Plan】
In a dramatic reunion, the senior gave us something like this.
At that time, I didn't know that the senior was the senior.
I just think this person is really weird.
But if he advised me like others to live a good life, I think I would just deal with it and find another place to die.
What the senior said seemed to be a plan for the deceased like me.
Although the name is strange, the content inside really attracted me.
yes.
If you are already seeking death, then any last wish you have should be fulfilled. You don't even have to care about the rules.
It's just that I don't have anything to do that violates human rules.
Among the plans listed by the senior, the one that interests me the most is the place where I will die.
"Of course you have to choose a place to die."
"If you die in a mass grave, you won't be able to survive and will be eaten by ghosts."
Said like this as a joke.
"But we still have to take it step by step. This is all necessary."
"There is no sense of ritual in dying."
"It would be better to die gracefully. Otherwise, when the news of your death comes out, everyone will guess, oh, this person was miserable in life. Or do you want to be sympathized with?"
This sentence hits my mark exactly.
I hate being pitied.
I also hate being talked about for no reason.
If you can die gracefully, and finally others see the news of your death, and you have done so many graceful things before your death, it will be said that this person just wanted to die. That would be great.
So I accepted the senior's proposal.
But gradually I realized that I was wrong.
When I got on the Ferris wheel, I reached the top. My senior casually asked me if I wanted to jump off.
He also said that if you go down from such a height, you won't have time to feel the pain, and your head will burst like a watermelon, with your brains spilling all over the floor.
I looked at the tiny ground and my face turned pale.
But the senior seemed unaware and continued to say that the most terrifying thing was to jump off the cable car while it was running, spin up at the top, and then fall down after being unable to hold on.
I couldn't help imagining that scene, and my legs started to tremble. But I tried my best not to let the seniors notice.
Now that I think about it, my senior has been setting me up since then.
He must have discovered it long ago.
——
Arriving at the final chosen place to die.
As he expected, I flinched and burst into tears.
I like the senior, not because he came back to me at that time. In fact, that was also what I expected.
I cried, not only because I was really scared, but also because I realized that someone very worthy of my dependence had appeared.
The fear and anxiety in my heart, and the feeling that there are many things I can't say, and I can find someone I rely on to talk to, make me cry.
and.
Something unexpected happened to me as a senior.
The senior's documents have historical records.
Because I backed it up while he wasn't paying attention.
What I saw after I went back was my death plan.
It's also an old-fashioned name.
But very real.
Because from the very beginning, I thought how could people do this to someone else’s death? Is there any special reason?
When I saw the word ‘I’, all my doubts were explained.
My senior also went through all the foreplay with me.
I chose the park, where will the seniors choose?
I didn't dare to rely 100% on my own guesses, so I tried to manipulate the senior's phone to ensure that I would know the senior's location.
After the senior asked me to go back, I kept hovering near the senior.
Of course, I didn’t have much confidence in my tracking ability, so I just looked at the GPS positioning from a long distance. I found that the senior was going to the location I predicted, and I immediately knew where it was.
Because my senior asked me to inspect all the places before. I have been to them all.
——
This is a two-way redemption.
There is nothing more romantic than this in my mind.
Taking this as an opportunity, I couldn't help but start to fall in love with Shang. Of course, I didn't know that I had fallen in love with Shang at first.
I just like to stay by his side, whether it's chatting casually, playing games together, or even sleeping on the senior's bed. Seeing him embarrassed, I would laugh at him.
But not long after, an accident happened.
It's just a coincidence, right?
I found that photo.
The senior took it out when he was talking about his past. I knew very well that the person on it was me.
It's just that at that time, I didn't dress up at all, I was rustic, and my expression and smile were weird. It was a completely ugly photo.
But the senior said that he missed an opportunity. If he had asked for his contact information at that time, he might not have been reduced to hanging out with a weirdo like me.
For the first time, I panicked and my face felt extremely hot.
What's going on?
"Err?!"
"Huh? Sorry, did I bump into you just now?"
"No, it's okay——"
In fact, when the senior was sitting next to me, he reached for a cup and accidentally touched my baby canteen. But I was wearing a down jacket when I came here, and the senior's weird pajamas were as thick as a military coat, so I probably didn't notice the touch at all.
Where have you been?
But I was extremely ashamed.
When I came to my senior's house before, I would naturally take off my shoes and change into shoes. Sometimes I would even go to curl up on the sofa with my socks on. When my senior came over and put me down by my feet in disgust, I would just reply and ask him to be gentler to girls.
Otherwise, you won't be able to find a girlfriend or something.
But now when my feet are touched, I can feel my heart beating violently.
"Why are you so honest all of a sudden?"
The senior may also realize that something is wrong.
"I, I've always been so honest!"
"Recently, you have changed your career and want to be a well-behaved beautiful girl?"
"I want you to take care of it!"
"Yeah, that's right. This is you. It tastes right."
"ah?"
"I said this is how I get used to it."
"Senior, do you have a habit of being scolded?"
"Yes, yes, scold me more. The more you scold me, the more excited I will be."
"abnormal!"
"I'm already excited, haha."
“···”
I know the senior is joking.
But I started to feel shy. It looked like flirting no matter how I looked at it.
I started to have insomnia.
I don't know what I'm doing, and I don't seem to be interested in anything.
"Senior...tweeted."
When I came back to my senses and found myself kissing the pillow, I was suddenly stunned.
What am I doing?
Almost going crazy.
Then calm down and understand.
I like my senior, and I want my senior to treat me as a woman, not as a good friend.
After I understood this idea, I was a little afraid to see my senior.
But I can't suddenly stop going. Wouldn't it be easier to be suspected if I hide away? In fact, I also hope to be exposed.
At that time, just reply, 'I just like it, can't I?'
Then will the senior say, "I like you too."
We are together like this. Will things go so smoothly?
Won't.
The senior is a fool, a straight guy, a good-for-nothing who can never find a girlfriend!
The day before I went to see him, I went to a beauty shop to get my nails done and my hair styled.
I searched many kinds of perfumes online, and shamelessly asked about perfumes and shampoos that girls my age would use.
I considered dyeing my hair, but thought it would be too sudden, so I decided against it.
I went to the store again and bought a skirt that I would never wear before. Before, I always wore neutral clothes...
Looking in the mirror, even I couldn't help but feel proud.
I feel like I’ve gone too far. I won’t suddenly be hugged and say I like it, right?
Hmm, but it doesn’t seem like you’d hate it?
My face turned a little red again.
In this way, I arrived at my senior's house anxiously. The senior didn't come to open the door, he just said that the door was unlocked and let me come in by myself.
He was busy in the kitchen and didn't look at me. It seemed that he had closed the door to prevent the smell from entering the living room.
Well, since we have been together for a while, there is no need to treat me like a guest.
I sat on the sofa and pretended to watch TV.
In fact, I was squeezing my hands, and my palms were sweating a lot. My head was also dizzy, and I was thinking, what if, what if I do that kind of thing today?
If you want to refuse——
You shouldn’t be able to refuse, right?
If it really happens, without taking any safety measures, I heard that boys will just ignore it when that happens.
If I had asked for that kind of thing at that time, would it be considered willful and inconsiderate? No, this is common sense!
Anyway, in short, I won’t agree immediately if I put it forward.
Reject first, yes, reject first.
Then when he saw that it was almost time and was about to leave, he suddenly hinted to the senior that he wanted to stay a little longer.
At that time, if the senior brings it up again, I will reluctantly agree to it!
Yes, there is such a reserved, shy and lovable beautiful girl! Congratulations!
"Here you come? We're having fish hot pot today. I only wanted to buy one fish, but the mandarin fish boss said he would sell me the last one at a cheaper price, so I bought more."
"It's not too spicy, come and try it?"
The senior asked me to eat.
"···good."
I'm a little afraid to look into my senior's eyes. If I find that my senior is staring at me fiercely, I will definitely not know what to do and make strange moves.
"Is it tasty?"
"Okay, delicious."
"As long as it tastes good, it's really troublesome, but it's so pitiful. It's a fish that's about to give birth. Does this count as you eating the flesh of a mother with many children in one bite?"
"ah···"
"It's okay, you said it tastes delicious anyway."
"Having another bite of fish larvae will be a good deed for them to reunite as a family."
“···”
What are you talking about?
I saw it, and the senior also looked at me.
Then he said lightly, "Why did you think of wearing a skirt today?"
At that moment I almost blurted out, 'I want you to take care of it'. Or, 'Wear it if you want.'
Fortunately, I stopped the car in time.
"Well, just, I just want to see if it suits this style."
"Well, what do you think, senior?"
Even my voice was trembling, but I tried my best to ask in a cute tone.
"It feels pretty good."
"Really, really?"
I smiled shyly.
"Why don't you eat? The fish is crying, asking you to continue eating."
"ah?"
As a result, the senior started to say strange things again.
But that was our daily life before.
But today I don’t want this kind of routine.
"Study, senior——"
So, I took courage again.
"What's wrong? Is it really not a prank that you suddenly called your senior so cute? I'm a little scared."
"No! I just want to ask, that..."
"Um? You need to go to the bathroom, right? Don't worry, this time there is tissue paper put in it."
“···”
Ignore the senior's strange remarks.
I paused and asked, "Senior, what kind of girl do you like?"
"I?"
The senior stopped his chopsticks and looked at me.
To be honest, my heart was beating really hard.
In my mind, I couldn't help but think of my senior saying he liked me.
"I'm usually very carefree."
"You're talking out of tune."
"Self-cooked."
"I like to secretly eat my treasured tea leaves."
"It's nothing but he likes to poison my water glass."
"Eh?"
Isn't this all me?
I secretly eat tea leaves because I feel inexplicably refreshing when I eat the tea leaves directly. Every time I feel sleepy, I don’t feel sleepy after eating the tea leaves.
Poisoning is just a joke. I just occasionally put some durian candy powder in the senior's water glass and laugh at him when he eats it.
"So the senior is——"
My heart jumped into my throat, and my face felt extremely hot.
"It's okay if you're not a girl like this."
Then, the senior gave the ending to this paragraph.
"Huh?"
I was stunned.
My heart wasn't beating so hard anymore, and my face turned pale.
"Senior..."
"Huh? Hey, don't you usually eat well? Why are you so loose today?"
"Senior is - a big fool!!!"
I couldn't help but grab the door and run away.
In the end, all the careful preparations were in vain, but I secretly looked forward to it like a fool.
But I know myself that the senior did nothing wrong.
I was the one who wanted the relationship to change, but I was also the one who first got along with my senior as a good brother. How could there be such a strange person?
But I also have a strange desire to win.
Crazy hint, just don't say it directly. I just want my senior to like me, and then he can't help but confess to me.
But in the end, I lost this self-centered competition.
"I like you, senior."
"Well, I already knew it. You think I'm really stupid, right?"
"The seniors who fish are the worst."
“Then the fish must be willing to be caught, right?”
"Guwuwu, if I die later, it will definitely be the senior who proposes first, and the senior will lose!"
"What kind of explosive statement do you really dare to say?"
"Oh, I'm sorry——"
"But just because you did that thing, now you can only silently endure a scumbag like me who keeps a harem. How pitiful."
"Senior, do you really dare to say such things?!"
"Sorry, I was joking -"
In fact, my seniors and I have a tendency to go back to the way we got along at the beginning.
Now I understand.
What my senior likes is everything about me. It doesn’t mean that he will like me if I become cute. I just need to be myself.
"call--"
I blew into the senior's ear.
"Senior."
"My lovely school girl, I still want to have a second time."
Then, unlike before, I can now ask for it more naturally when I am alone. I want that warmth, so I choose to speak it out.