She didn't have breakfast. When her aunt came up to invite her to dinner, she found that she had not come out of the bedroom. The aunt did not disturb her, but kept coming up to see if she was up.
Lin Ke'er didn't sleep for long before she woke up. When she woke up, she couldn't fall back to sleep. The unpredictable future gave her a sense of panic all day long. Qin Shaofeng's failure to return all night made her feel extremely panicked!
She felt that he must have been with Yu Qingyao last night!
When she thought of Yu Qingyao's big belly, the way he helped her walk, and how considerate and gentle he was to her, she felt unprecedentedly uncomfortable, as if there were countless moths gnawing at her heart!
She didn't have a mobile phone and didn't know what time it was. She got up slowly and went out to look at the clock on the wall. It turned out that it was already past ten o'clock.
Lin Ke'er had no energy at all and didn't want to dress up. Who would she dress up for? No outsiders came, not even Qin Shaofeng came back.
She was lying on the sofa miserably. Her aunt came up and asked her if she wanted to eat now. She shook her head and the aunt said, "Then let me cook lunch now. How about I cook some porridge for you?"
Lin Keer said: "I don't want to eat."
The aunt then tried to persuade her for a while, but Lin Ke'er didn't say anything, she didn't say that she wanted to eat, and she didn't say that she wouldn't eat. The aunt took it as her consent and went down to make porridge for her.
After the porridge was cooked, the aunt came to invite her to eat. Lin Keer did not move, and still shook her head lazily, indicating that she would not eat. The aunt advised her to eat more, but she still did not move or speak.
Ever since her aunt came here, Lin Ke'er has always been very polite to her. She has never been as cold as today. However, her aunt understands Lin Ke'er's current mood and doesn't take it seriously. She said: "If you don't feel well, I'll help you."
Come up."
Lin Ke'er didn't say anything. The aunt then brought the food to her. She lay lifeless. The aunt said: "Eat a little bit. Being hungry like this is not good for your health. You are already sick. If you don't eat, your health will be worse."
Sorry, I added some green cabbage leaves to the porridge I cooked, you can drink some."
The aunt didn't know that she was pregnant. Dr. Chen wouldn't tell her, and Qin Shaofeng and Lin Ke'er didn't tell anyone. So the aunt only thought she was sick.
Lin Keer shook his head slightly, but still did not move.
The aunt sighed and said, "I'll put it here. You can eat some of it while it's hot. I'll collect the bowl later."
Seeing that Lin Ke'er still didn't say anything, the aunt shook her head, sighed again, and went downstairs.
Lin Keer lay down for a while, thinking that her aunt would come up and persuade her again, so she got up and went to the bedroom to lie down.
When the aunt came up and saw that the food had not been moved at all, and Lin Keer was not in the living room, she knocked on the bedroom door and asked: "Miss Lin, are you really not going to eat some?"
She wanted to see what Lin Keer was doing in the room, but she couldn't open the door to see, so she knocked on the door to test.
Lin Ke'er responded in a low voice: "If you don't want to eat, you can take it away and I'll take a nap."
The aunt had no choice but to take the food away.
In the afternoon, my aunt came up from time to time to take a look and saw that the bedroom door was always closed. She knocked on the door and asked Lin Ke'er if he wanted to eat something. She cooked it for her, but Lin Ke'er always replied: "No."
When it was time to get off work, Qin Shaofeng didn't come back, and Lin Keer still didn't come out to eat.
It was completely dark, but Qin Shaofeng still hadn't come back.
This night, Lin Keer stayed up all night!
Daytime has come again. The weather today is good. There is a red sun hanging in the sky early, but it is cold and there is no temperature.
The early sun in winter always has no temperature.
Lin Ke'er didn't eat for another day, and her aunt became worried, but no matter how she tried to persuade her, Lin Ke'er neither spoke nor moved.
The aunt kept sighing and thinking, if Qin Shaofeng doesn't come back today, she must call him tomorrow to tell him about Lin Keer's situation. If this continues, she will starve to death.
When night fell, Qin Shaofeng still hadn't come back. This was already the third day since he left home.
Lin Ke'er lay quietly on the bed without turning on the air conditioner. Her heart was too cold. She wanted to make herself colder. It would be best if she could freeze herself. It would be better if she could freeze her thoughts. Then she didn't have to worry about anything.
No need to think about it!
Her heart was not just hurt or broken, but dead!
The person she loves deeply doesn't come back to see her, doesn't listen to her explanation, and doesn't care about her life or death. He really doesn't want her anymore!
Without his love, what's the point of her life?
Love is a harmful thing. When you don’t understand love, it can’t hurt you anyway. Only when you love can you deeply appreciate the taste of love. It contains the five flavors of sour, sweet, bitter, spicy and spicy, and it has red, orange and yellow colors.
Green, blue, purple, it is rich and colorful, making people intoxicated. It is like marijuana, making people feel ecstasy. It can warm your heart like the winter sun, or it can make you cold in an instant like frost, snow and rain.
Heartfelt!
She has loved, hated, hurt, suffered, cried, and laughed. Now, on the road of love, she is too tired and exhausted. She doesn’t want to love anymore, and she doesn’t want to be so tired and hurt anymore.
I want to sleep, sleep forever, and never wake up again!
She wants to stay away from this world, away from such love and pain!
A person's choice between life and death is often made in a single thought. When Lin Keer's mind goes into a dead end, she can't get out!
There was a voice that seemed to come from the ground or from the void, echoing over and over again in her heart:
"Come! Come here! He doesn't want you anymore, that world has abandoned you! What's the use of staying there? Come on! Come here, there is no pain, no sorrow, no love, no hate
, this is the paradise world, where you will get eternal happiness!"
Yes, without Qin Shaofeng's love, she would lose the whole world!
There seemed to be a mysterious force pulling her. She got up, washed her face, slowly combed her hair, and found the most beautiful dress to wear.
She is not particularly particular about what she wears, but because Qin Shaofeng said that this dress is the most beautiful on her, she thinks this dress is the most beautiful.
Then, she sat in front of the makeup mirror and started putting on makeup.
She drew curved eyebrows, put on a light rouge, and applied a light lipstick. She put on makeup very slowly and very carefully. She even applied eye shadow and lip liner. She had never dressed up so seriously.
Own.
If you want to go, you must go beautifully.
Then she walked into the study, turned on the computer, deleted all the chat records between her and Gangzi, and completely deleted Gangzi from her friend list. She also pulled out the diary in the private space and read it carefully.
once.
She originally thought she would cry when reading these diaries, but she didn't. She only felt her heart hurt as if it was being torn apart!
Finally, she wrote another diary entry:
"When love has become a thing of the past and I can't find a way forward, I have been waiting quietly, wanting to wait for you to look back! Your back is getting farther and farther away, and I can no longer catch up with your footsteps! My thoughts are very chaotic,
I want to leave and I want to stay! Staying is already a dream. Will I be able to have it after I leave?
"Maybe I'm not pretty enough to attract your attention for a long time! Maybe I'm not perfect enough to keep your majestic body..."
After writing this, she stopped, feeling that there were thousands more words to say, but she didn't know where to start. After pausing for a long time, she started typing again:
"Maybe our love was originally a dream, and everything will come to nothing in the end! Maybe the vows were originally illusory, which makes the fragile love have a beginning and no end! Why is it always an extravagance to hope for eternity, and why is it the wind of the past! We share the beauty of the moon thousands of miles apart, right?
The poet's fantasy, so the love of ordinary people comes and goes!
"I'm leaving! My dear! I really want to know, will you cry for me after I leave?
"If there is an afterlife, I must become beautiful so that you can fall in love with me again, so that you can love me forever! So that you can never change your heart for me again!
"Dear Feng! Farewell! Kiss you! Kiss you deeply for the last time!"
After she finished writing, she looked at these disorganized sentences and wanted to sort them out and make them smoother, but she didn't know where to start. These words were like the thoughts in her mind, messy, but impossible to organize!
After looking at it for a while, she finally made no changes and kept it as it was.
Then she turned off the computer, walked into the living room, took out the fruit knife from the fruit bowl, and without any hesitation, slashed it on her wrist.
At this time, her mind was completely blank. She didn't think about anything. Dongzi, godmother, Feng Yixiang, Fang Xiaoyi... all of them had been forgotten by her. There was only one thought in her heart, Qin Shaofeng, I will die.
Yes, will you shed tears for me?
Shao Feng! My dear! I’m really going to die!
If I die, will you shed tears for me?
can you?
can you?
Her wrist was bleeding, but she didn't feel any pain. She let her hand hang naturally and slowly walked to the sofa.
After standing for a while, her eyes looked at the sky outside through the floor-to-ceiling windows. The sky was very pale, just like her pale mood. The sky in winter is always pale.
After watching for a while, Lin Keer sat on the sofa and then slowly lay down.
She was lying there, her hands hanging on the edge of the sofa, her eyes looking at the ceiling, her consciousness was empty, and her eyes were also empty.
Blood flowed from her wrist, drop by drop, drop by drop, and drop by drop... I don't know how long it took, but she gradually couldn't open her eyes.
She felt very tired and closed her eyes tiredly. At this time, her stomach felt a little dull pain. She thought of the child in her belly and thought in confusion, child, you are wrong, you should not have come to this world, because you
An unpopular child!
No, it was your mother who was wrong. She shouldn't have brought you here. She was wrong. Let her atone for her sins and take you away!
My child! Mom will go with you!
A large pool of blood has accumulated under the sofa, and it begins to flow out, twisting and turning, like a red earthworm crawling slowly!
Lin Keer's last bit of consciousness was completely lost!