"Don't be angry. I know what you said is all angry. I also know that even if you knew what would happen, you would definitely save me." Lin Xiangwan was determined and would not waver in his decision because of Chu Di's attitude.
In her opinion, he was like a wounded beast now, and the slightest disturbance would make him restless.
He didn't know that although he looked down and out, it made her feel distressed, just because he had always been strong in front of her before, so strong that she had forgotten that he was actually a human being who could also get hurt and feel pain.
.
Chu Di sneered, "Hey, Miss Lin, you take yourself too seriously? Why do you think so?"
"Because you called me by my name in the dream." Lin Xiangwan replied calmly.
Chu Di fell silent for a moment.
Dreams are projections of reality, thoughts during the day, and desires that cannot be expressed to others but cannot be resisted. Dreams are born from the heart, but they are not under his control. He can make them in front of Lin Xiangwan
She looked indifferent, but he couldn't guard her in his dream.
In fact, in and out of his dreams, he only thought about her.
But so what? Putting aside the prejudices Lin Xiangwan had about himself because of Xu Yunqi's death, Chu Di knew his body best. Several consultations with the hospital's surgery department and neurologists yielded only one result.
Recovery is possible, but the odds are slim.
For a woman, she is at the right age, her flowers are in full bloom, and she is charming and delicate. Is it because he has saved her life that he forces her to stay with him and watches her wither and wither?
In the past, he might have been able to do it, but now.
Chu Di smiled bitterly in his heart. He couldn't bear it. He couldn't bear to see her feel a little wronged or dissatisfied. So he put all the blame on himself and made her hate him. Rather than letting her blame herself all the time, Chu Di smiled bitterly in his heart.
Be good.
"I didn't call you by your name because I miss you." Chu Di gritted his teeth and said, this means that this place has three hundred taels of silver. Lin Xiangwan sighed, "Then why? Because I was too cruel to you, so you hate me in your heart?
If you hate me, just say it directly, you are not someone who dare not say or do something. I know you are unhappy and feel that I am dragging you down. If it weren’t for me, you wouldn’t be like this. How about this?
If you are really angry, you can beat me so hard that I can't take care of myself for the rest of my life. Do you think this is okay?"
"Lin Xiangwan, shut up!"
Every word she spoke was like a knife piercing his heart. How could he possibly attack her? How could he be willing to do so?!
Lin Xiangwan rolled his eyes, "If you don't take action, don't blame me for not giving you a chance. Anyway, I have thought about it. If I don't cure you, I won't leave. You are now considered a loner and no one wants you."
That's right, I'm just going to be kind and take care of you, so as not to cause trouble to others."
This is completely the logic of a robber. He knew that Chu's mother had just passed away, which was a hurtful thing for Chu Di, but Lin Xiangwan also went all out, without any hesitation, and suddenly lifted all his coverings.
, leaving him with nowhere to hide and no longer able to refuse to talk to her.
"You take care of me? Why do you take care of me? If you take care of me, can you still take care of Ye Nan? Then you will be alone and unable to do anything..." The one who is left behind is not me?
Don't give me hope, because I know that hope will be followed by disappointment. I would rather grow old quietly and desolate like this, than be ruthlessly torn apart after getting close to your warmth.
Hearing Chu Di's words, Lin Xiangwan's expression condensed. She was silent for a while and then solemnly said to him, "Although Ye Nan is a child, he already understands many truths. It is precisely because he understands that he can
He will feel sad if he is sad. He knows who is really good to him. You have to give him time and he will slowly accept you."
For Chu Di, his son's ignoring him was another injury, no less serious than Lin Xiangwan's alienation from him, but it was also his own fault. Now it is finally his turn to suffer the consequences, and no one can do it for him.
he.
"Are you having a hard time?" Chu Di had already forgotten about the mess of injuries on his body at this moment, and only thought about Ye Nan's stubborn little face. When she pursed her lips tightly and refused to speak, she looked very much like Lin Xiangwan.
Lin Xiangwan thought for a while and shook his head, "How can it be considered bitter? I thought it was bitter before, but now that I think about it, it's not a big deal. At least the two of us are together. When Ye Nan was a child, her health was not good, and she didn't
He likes to talk. Even in the amusement park, other children are playing together, but he is still alone. Sometimes when he is sick, I have no time to take care of him, so I put him in the hospital. Although he doesn't say anything
, but when the parents and relatives of a young patient come to visit, he will always look at them..."
The look in his eyes at that time will be remembered by Lin Xiangwan for a lifetime.
"I'm not a good mother. I can't give him a complete family from the moment he's born, but I...occasionally fantasize about trying...to find someone and start a new family.
.Not only for Ye Nan, but also for myself. Although I look quite strong, I am a woman after all. I also hope that someone can love me well, cherish me, hold me in the palm of my hand and treat me as a treasure... And
It’s not like he comes and goes when I call him. When he’s happy, he gives me two smiling faces, just like teasing a cat or a dog. When he’s unhappy, he gives me two smiling faces.”
She couldn't go on because she thought of many things in the past. Some people said she was ruthless. Even Shen Shijun disagreed with some of her views. He felt that she was too ruthless in doing things and did not leave a way for herself and others to survive.
But if it wasn't like this, she would probably have died long ago.
He died in the eyes of his relatives, in the public opinion of everyone, and even more because of his violence that caused her extreme pain time and time again.
A young man lost his mother, a young man lost his father, and his son's father wanted him to disappear from the world. She had no friends to talk to, no one to rely on. How tenacious she had to be to survive, what she has today.
Almost everything was done by her own hands.
She also wants to have a carefree love, as the poem says, love as if you have never been hurt.
But she didn't dare. No matter whether she was in Ye's house before or when she returned to him later, she had always been walking on thin ice, living in trepidation and intrigue. She felt that she had long lost the ability to trust others, and even more so the ability to love.
She couldn't love like ordinary people without forgetting everything. She felt that she didn't deserve such happiness.
Although Lin Xiangwan didn't speak anymore, the expression on her face said everything. She had never said such words to him. Was it because she had never truly trusted him?
Chu Di suddenly felt grief in her heart. What on earth did he do that she could not forget even after so many years? It turned out that he had destroyed not only her dignity and pride, but also all her illusions about love.
.
"Let's try..." He suddenly stretched out his hand and grabbed her palm. Lin Xiangwan was startled and saw the gauze wrapped tightly on Chu Di's palm. Thinking that he still had injuries on his hand, she wanted to break away.
But Chu Di refused to let her go.
"What are you trying?" Lin Xiangwan asked uneasily.
Chu Di looked into her eyes, "You know. Give it a try, not only for Ye Nan, but also for you, and for myself. Even if it doesn't work, I won't be resentful. I'd rather regret it than regret it. Isn't that what you said?"
If I can't stand up, it's my fate. Life should not let us be together. If I become like that, I will not allow myself to pester you again, but if I can... Lin Xiangwan, your fantasy
, I’ll finish it.”
His voice was not loud, but every word was decisive, with infinite strength and courage.
This was the first time that he wanted to be with her, to act as an equal to her, not to intimidate or induce, not to make her feel embarrassed or sad, but still, he wanted to cry.
Sinking into a deep pool, her heart, which had not seen sunshine for a long time, felt as if someone had opened a crack and welcomed her first ray of sunshine.
*
Lin Xiangwan has to go to work on weekdays, pick up Ye Nan home after work, accompany his children to Go classes, and participate in interest groups on weekends. He has very little time for Chu Di, even though he says he wants to stay with him and help him.
He recovered, but the time the two of them could actually be together was pitiful.
But every time she saw Chu Di, he would act very happy and not feel annoyed at all because they could only meet him once a week.
This man was working hard to change himself, turning the sharp edges that hurt people into bright edges. He restrained all his sharp edges, just to bring her closer.
Lin Xiangwan is also changing. At least in her opinion, she has worked hard. She has stopped burning down the kitchen recently. Although she burned four or five pots, the chicken soup she made was decent.
Even if it is given to Ye Nan to drink, Ye Nan will not secretly pour it away again.
Lin Xiangwan has not yet told Ye Nan about taking care of Chu Di. This child is even more stubborn than her. If she tells him directly, he may not be able to accept it. When the time comes, he will rebound and even Lin Xiangwan will not be able to suppress it.
He and she have to find a way.
Rehabilitation training is an extremely boring and painful thing. Repeated muscle stretching exercises over and over again may be extremely difficult for even a healthy person to persist. Lin Xiangwan has done it before, so he knows how difficult it is. What is rare is that such
Chu Di didn't complain about the painful things. Although his clothes were soaked with sweat every time he practiced, and his whole body was shaking due to pain, he never missed a practice, which was better than Lin Xiangwan didn't know at the beginning.
How many times more honest and obedient.
"If you continue to practice like this, how sure are you that you can recover?" After practicing a course of treatment, Lin Xiangwan couldn't help but ask Chu Di's doctor.
The attending doctor knew that she was Shen Shijun's friend, so he didn't use clichés and said directly to her, "You have also been a doctor, so I won't hide it from you. To be honest, it is quite difficult. If the injury is elsewhere, it can be easily explained.
But the injury is to the spine... No one can guarantee you when it will be cured."