Ning Jing's voice was firm and full of determination. The doctor took off his glasses and stared at Ning Jing.
There is a strong smell of death in the ward, and the silence in this late night is even more suffocating. Occasionally, the painful moans of patients can be heard from the ward not far away, but none of this can break the relationship between Ning Jing and the doctor.
The silence in between.
The evening breeze slowly blew the curtains, as if a pair of invisible hands were teasing the silence. The doctor slowly stretched out his hand and held Ning Jing's hand.
"I can understand how you feel..." the doctor said, the broken hair on her forehead covered her eyes, and a pair of tearful eyes could be vaguely seen through the gaps in the broken hair, "My child also died of illness.
of."
Ning Jing slowly raised her head and looked at the doctor in front of her. It was hard to imagine that she had the same experience as herself. Just now she thought he was a cold-blooded person. Otherwise, she would not have persuaded herself to have a child again.
.However, what Ning Jing saw in her eyes now were all memories of the past and the tolerance of pain.
"Others also advised me this way at the beginning," the doctor took a deep breath. "Did you know? Sometimes, one of our decisions will affect our life. There are countless forks in the road in our life, and no one knows where it is.
One decision will completely change our lives. At that time, I was still very young and thought that no matter what the ending was, I could start over again, but I didn't expect..."
The doctor's voice was choked with sobs. Ning Jing, who was originally a patient's family member who needed to be comforted, took out a tissue and comforted the doctor, "Okay, it's all in the past and everything will get better."
"After all these years..." the doctor's voice calmed down slightly, "You are the first person to hear me say these things. After that incident happened, I couldn't mention it. As soon as I mentioned it, it was like it was yesterday.
.That is my first and only child, named Qiqi. He has been very beautiful and handsome since he was a child. In the kindergarten, teachers and children like him very much. I also have a very good relationship with his father.
After that, I also had two children, but because our family situation was very ordinary, and because we had Qiqi, we didn’t want Qiqi to suffer, and we felt that having Qiqi was enough. But, we didn’t
Thinking about it... Because of a car accident, the high cost of treatment has left us mentally and physically exhausted. Qiqi has to receive various medical equipment in the hospital to maintain her life, and the hope of recovery is very small. For this matter, my husband and I spend almost every day
They were all arguing. In the hospital, there were too many people who had seen birth, old age, illness and death. They all advised me to have another child. After all, for Qiqi, if he had to rely on equipment to maintain his life for the rest of his life, it would be a disaster for him.
It's a kind of torture, and for us, it's a bottomless pit. But I don't want to give up. That's my child. As a doctor, I can't help him. This in itself makes me feel very guilty. How can I bear to let him die?
Leaving this world like this? I think that would be unfair to him! Because in this world, anything is possible, and there is hope to happen at any time. I believe that one day he will get better. But
, this situation only lasted for half a year, and our family was already on the verge of poverty. My husband suggested to me more than once that we could have a child again, and finally... I believed him. Qiqi's respirator is mine.
My husband pulled it out with his own hands. I don’t know how he felt at the time. I only know that when I watched his breathing gradually weakening, I felt that the whole world became dark... I watched helplessly as he went from a lively and healthy person to a healthy one.
The child ended up in that situation, and all this ended with me as his mother doing it for him. Later, my husband and I gradually began to try to have another child, but because of my two previous miscarriages, I
My body is no longer able to have a child. Because of this incident, my mental state was very bad. I once suffered from depression, and finally my husband left me..."
Listening to the doctor's cry, Ning Jing sighed. Only now did she understand why the doctor said that every choice will affect a person's life. It turns out that this is indeed the case, and the choice is so difficult. Many times we don't even know when we are hungry.
Which direction is the right one to go in? A blessing in disguise is a blessing in disguise. No one knows how much impact our decision at this second will have on our future lives.
Ning Jing patted the doctor on the shoulder, "I understand what you mean. It is precisely because I don't want to cause a lifetime of regrets that I can't give up my child. And..." At this point, Ning Jing couldn't say any more.
Ning Xiaobao came into this world purely by accident. If it hadn't been for that unlucky night six years ago, he would not have been born by fate. However, the relationship between Ning Jing and Tang Siqi was only because of Ning Xiaobao.
Only then remained in Ning Jing's memory. If it weren't for Ning Xiaobao, Ning Jing could have chosen to forget Tang Siqi at any time and let him completely disappear from her life. This is even the case now, if it weren't for Ning Xiaobao
If she has a blood relationship with Tang Siqi, no matter who Tang Siqi is, Ning Jing can choose to forget that past and face Tang Siqi pretending to be nonchalant.
But it was precisely because of Ning Xiaobao's existence that Ning Jing was unable to do this.
However, it is precisely because that night was just an accident that it means that there is no other relationship between Ning Jing and Tang Siqi, and there is no stable relationship. Ning Xiaobao is the first relationship between her and Tang Siqi.
This is the last time. Apart from Ning Xiaobao, there will be no other crystallization between them.
Ning Jing didn't know what this meant to herself. She found that after meeting Tang Siqi again, she began to have strange feelings for this man. At first, she thought she was just because of the illusion that she could give Ning Xiaobao a perfect family, so
She had such a longing, but gradually, Ning Jing discovered that her feelings for Tang Siqi were not that pure. She should even be grateful that it was Ning Xiaobao's appearance that made the connection between her and Tang Siqi
Together.
Ning Jing cannot lose this child.
"You are still very young," the doctor choked, wiping the crystal tears on his cheeks, "I just said those words, I just hope you won't regret it, and won't be like me back then, who originally chose to persist, but later
I chose to give up again, I just want to tell you the worst result. If you want to persist, I hope you can stick to it."
"Don't worry, no matter what, I will never give up on this child," Ning Jing took a deep breath, "Even if he leaves this world, I am willing to accompany him..." Because, without him,
Ning Jing could not imagine the meaning of staying in this world. Ning Jing followed Ning Xiaobao to another world to sleep, and she did not want to live in hatred every day like Tang Siqi. For her,
Said, that kind of life seems more cruel.
The doctor's tears were like a fountain, "I admire you very much, I admire your courage. If I could be as determined as you back then, now, even if I go bankrupt, at least I still have Qiqi by my side, but
…”
"everything will get better."
Facing this woman, Ning Jing felt that she had a complicated feeling in her heart. Yes, Ning Jing could understand the doctor's feelings to some extent. She had lived alone in this world for so many years, and she didn't even know the meaning of her life.
What exactly is it, but because of Ning Xiaobao's appearance, she learned that ties and burdens are actually very beautiful things. Because Ning Jing understands that kind of loneliness so well, she understands the doctor's feelings, and because she understands her
Feelings, so we can’t give up on Ning Xiaobao.
"However," the doctor wiped her eyes, her mood seemed much more stable, "since you said so, let's discuss the treatment first."
"OK."
The doctor's hand was still shaking as he turned over the medical records, "When did you first notice that he was sick?"
"last winter."
"How many times have you had the disease from last winter to this year?"
Ning Jing answered with certainty: "This is the fourth time."
Ning Jing remembered Ning Xiaobao's illness very clearly. Every time she had an illness, she felt as if the sky was about to fall. Every time, she held Ning Xiaobao's hand tightly and kept rubbing it.
I'm afraid these little hands will become cold.
It was also from that time that Ning Jing discovered that people are so fragile, and she was so powerless. As a mother, no matter how attached she was to her children, God would not help her at all.
The doctor patted Ning Jing's shoulder. Thinking of her original condition, she couldn't help but admire Ning Jing even more. She knew how painful and helpless a mother would be when her child was on the verge of death, as if she was tearing out her heart.
It can't change that helplessness.
"Let me briefly talk about the child's current condition. This time he was sent to the hospital very promptly. It is also your good luck. Our hospital happened to have a new batch of relevant instruments this month, which was of great help to his condition. In addition,
The last attack was not very serious, and the child's physical fitness is also very good, so the condition has been basically controlled. But what I am most worried about is the next attack, because the onset of this disease is irregular.
It is irregular, and there is no other way besides paying attention to diet. I hope you can send your child over in time like this next time the disease occurs. With the record of the disease this time, I hope to find a cure as soon as possible. About him
I will send an email to my friends in the medical field abroad. If you have good suggestions and opinions, I will notify you in time. I also hope that you can inform me of the patient's condition in a timely manner."
Ning Jing looked at the doctor gratefully, "I will cooperate! Thank you very much!"
"Let's put these words aside for now. What I want to tell you is that actually, the best treatment for this disease is..."
The doctor spoke slowly in front of Ning Jing, and Ning Jing's face became increasingly ugly, "I will... consider it."