A nameless affair with another man easily ended all my delusions about Fu Donglou. This is the most failed way of falling out of love that I can imagine.
I know that I don't need to act so hysterical or sad at all, because at this time, I am already despairing.
Fortunately, I finally knew what I should do in Daqi. This incident gave me the courage to leave...
"Xiyuan, I have to go to the military camp for training, so I can't take you back to the palace in person." Lian Zheng placed his coat beside my bed and continued, "It's still raining outside, so put this coat around you.
, be careful of catching a cold."
The person at night and the person in front of me are completely different from each other. How stupid am I to be so stupid that I take the initiative to pester him? I don't understand.
Seeing that I was silent, Lian Zheng stood up and did not leave immediately, but hesitated a little, "Otherwise... you can also stay here and wait for me to come back. I will go and tell the prince."
I shook my head and said, "No, I'll go back."
"Wang Wenquan, I will send the princess off later..." As Lian Zheng left in a hurry, his voice became smaller and smaller. Only when the horse neighed and hoofed away did I know for sure that Lian Zheng was really leaving.
.
There was a hint of dampness in the air, and I sat up on the bed.
I have never had such a similar feeling, as if every movement of putting on clothes is filled with humiliation and regret. Hey, let alone the courtiers and concubines, the people don't want to see me, and I don't even want to see myself.
In the past, when I didn’t know my identity, I couldn’t bear even the slightest grievance, right? But now, I put on my clothes and left without crying or fussing. From beginning to end,
The carriage was driving by, so I opened the curtain and took a look.
The soldier driving the car had already spoken before he turned around, "What are your orders, Princess?"
I asked casually: "It's raining so hard and you're training in the camp. Isn't it very hard? Isn't it going to be very bad?"
The soldier still looked ahead, "Fortunately, the general said he won't practice today. Everyone is free to move around and wait for the rain to stop. Anyway, there is nothing wrong."
It was as if cold water had been poured down on me, from head to foot. "...Hmm."
I didn't dare to show off my secrets. When the carriage reached the east end of the street, I stopped letting it go forward. I told the soldier that I would be responsible for all the consequences, and then he handed me an oil-paper umbrella, and then
Drive away.
I walked slowly on the stone road, looking at the rain curtain outside the oil-paper umbrella, and my heart was wet. God seemed to have some diligence in wanting to cleanse the world, but apparently there was no diligence in understanding.
When the hem of my skirt was soaked, I finally saw the gate of the palace.
Unexpectedly, Jiang Huai was standing by the door wearing that moon-white gown, standing alone. His hair was slightly soaked by the rain, but he couldn't even notice it, and he still looked ahead with empty eyes.
I closed my umbrella and stepped up to the last step. As expected, Jiang Huai came back to his senses and saw me. Instantly, his face was slightly angry, and his colorful thin lips made a mocking arc towards me, and then
He spat out one word: "Yo~~"
I shook off the remaining raindrops on my umbrella and prepared to enter the house.
Jiang Huai blocked me in time. His eyes were already big, and now they were so wide that they almost popped out of the window. "Where have you been? Let me ask you! Where are you going if you don't return home at night?"
Already?"
I shook my head and looked past him without saying anything.
"Hey, little heart, your rebellious phase has been a little too long, isn't it? Brother, I have searched all over the city's brothels, why don't you put on a smile for me?"
Jiang Huai grabbed my sleeve, and I couldn't take it off. I didn't want to say too much, so I could only smile along with him and say, "Jiang Huai, your hair is messed up."
His brows were frowning very ugly, and his words were full of twists and turns, "Although there is a saying that 'the head can be cut off, but the hair cannot be messed up', but it is followed by the sentence 'blood can be shed, but the face cannot be lost'! I told you yesterday
Wait for me but you won’t wait, I want to get something for you! Why don’t you give me face like this? You are such a little bitch?!”
There was a subtle hint of seriousness on my expression, and then I said to him calmly, "I'm sorry."
The desolation in Jiang Huai's eyes flashed, but he still insisted on saying, "I'm sorry, if it's useful, why do you need the Yamen? Well... Fortunately, brother, I am generous and don't care about you, so I will still give you the things."
Take a look~"
He opened his clothes and took out a small child's shoe from his arms, "Look, my dear, are they cute? I went to Changbo for business a while ago and found that Ma Fengchun had just given birth to a pair of twins. This is what she asked me to bring to you.
I tell you to hurry up...hurry up and find a lover. You see, life is actually very exciting. There are many choices, and there are many things that you still have time to regret. As for me, I don’t mind if you have——"
I took the little shoe and interrupted him, "Why is it just one?"
"I confiscated the other one," Jiang Huai glared at me angrily, "That's not the point, okay?! The point is, are you willing to be with me?"
"..." This sudden confession was the same as usual, but it was different. I smiled and shed tears, "Stop making trouble, it's not worth it."
In the world of love, the more people you drag in, the more crowded it becomes. I am already in such a miserable state, how can I give him hope without revealing the truth?
When I closed the door of the palace, I still vaguely heard Jiang Huai saying: "Fu Xingan, you are really a thorn in my heart!"
…
Three days have passed and I have taken a shower no less than eight times. The skin all over my body hurts when I rub it, but I still haven't made a sound.
In my daily life, I basically stop at the level of "eat when I need to, drink when I need to, sleep when I need to sleep, and talk when I need to talk". I behave very normally, but everyone thinks that I am a bit abnormal.
.
A baby was born in every spring, and even the hare in the side yard of Heshun Prince's Mansion also gave birth to a cub.
Baby Fu pestered me and kept calling: "Sister, eldest sister, please give the little rabbit a name!"
I touched his head and said perfunctorily: "Get up on your own, be good."
As a result, the little child frowned and thought about it for a whole day. Several days passed, and the rabbit was finally named "Two Dogs" by Fu Baobao.
On the day Ergou officially received his name, Heshun Prince's Palace received the imperial edict that it was the Emperor who announced my entry into the palace.
My heart no longer aches, and my mood is very calm, not overwhelming at all.
It took me a long, long time to realize that this kind of calm sadness is also called "acceptance of fate."