Han Xiaotao thought about this and fiddled with the combination lock.
"3553?"
I originally thought that my mother might choose a combination of these two special days, but after choosing it, the box did not respond. Han Xiaotao's tense heart was a little discouraged. She pursed her lips and flipped it again.
5335.
There was a slight sound from the lock cylinder, and then the tightly locked lock popped open a crack.
Han Xiaotao's heart immediately started beating, wondering what her mother would put in the box. She wiped the dust on the mouth of the box with her hand, and then opened the box. She saw clearly a small child inside.
The notebook, with a very delicate cover, looked old and yellowed due to old age. Han Xiaotao opened the notebook with trembling hands and flipped through it, recording the date, weather, and mood in each entry.
"This is……"
Mother's diary!
Han Xiaotao's heart skipped a beat. Although it seemed inappropriate to look through other people's diaries, her mother had been dead for so long. Xiaotao wanted to know what she had recorded during her lifetime, and I believed her mother would not blame her. She bit her
Biting my lip, I finally made up my mind to open it and take a closer look. On the title page of the diary, there was a line of vague handwriting.
"Starting today, repent for everything you have done and pray for the rest of your life."
The handwriting was stained with tears, which made Han Xiaotao puzzled.
The day the diary began was a late night more than 20 years ago. My mother, sitting alone at her desk, wrote this passage.
"...We should not meet again. We are no longer what we were when we were young. He has his wife and family, a daughter, and is about to have his second baby. My appearance was a mistake.
And we made another mistake together that cannot be corrected. Now this mistake has begun to take root. It is the judgment and punishment of God. I wanted to end this mistake, but the little life is innocent. I cannot be so selfish.
I must be responsible for him. Likewise, I can no longer stay with him and let this mistake continue. I want to leave and have to pay the price for my wrong decision alone. Baby, don't worry, mom will not be so cruel, and mom will take you
If you go, I will give birth to you and raise you."
The corners of Han Xiaotao's eyes became moist. She knew that the child in her mother's diary was her, a shameful illegitimate daughter. But her mother described this baby with such affectionate writing. What was her mother like at that time?
Do you know how much of a burden this child will become in the future and how much pain she will suffer?
"My belly is getting bigger and bigger, and I can't hide it. I know how many people are pointing fingers at me behind my back, but I'm not afraid. From the moment I decided to give birth to the baby, I had to be strong. That's the only way
, so that I can protect my child. I want to be a strong mother. I probably also want to thank him, at least he left the baby as my last thought. We are destined to be in this life, but our acquaintance,
I have never regretted it. It's just that in this life, we will never see each other again. I will let our baby grow up healthily, don't miss it."
A large part of the previous content is about the growth of the baby in the belly, some trivial matters in life, and those lovesicknesses in the dead of night.
Counting the days, it should be time to give birth, but the time in the diary skipped for more than a month before starting again.
"It has been more than a month since I was hospitalized and waiting for delivery, right? My confused thinking almost forgot the time. I seem to be unable to recover from the death of my baby. My baby, he is so cute and innocent,
But when I could open my eyes and look at him, he was just lying quietly in the nurse's arms. They told me that the baby had died after birth. I couldn't believe it, how could this be true? Mine
Baby, he is still so young and has not experienced his life yet. How could he leave me like this? This must be a punishment from God, but if you want to punish me, punish me. The child is innocent. I can't accept it. My child,
Come back, mom misses you, mom needs you. Mom is sorry for you..."
I can no longer finish writing this article. The whole article is full of traces of tears, and the pen words are blurred and seep into the pages behind.
Han Xiaotao felt hard at the painful handwriting in the article, and the diary slipped from her palm. She didn't understand what this article meant. "What's going on? How could it be a premature death?" Han Xiaotao repeated
Asking these few words, it was as if her mother was still beside her and could answer her soon. However, in the empty room, there was only the muffled sound of the diary being dropped. The night was still very quiet, and Han Xiaotao's heartbeat was frantic and noisy.
There seems to be a buzzing sound in my ears. If the mother's baby died shortly after birth, then... then...
"Then who am I?"
There was a thunder in Han Xiaotao's mind, which made her unable to think. She quickly bent down and hurriedly picked up the diary. Her mother would definitely record it, what was going on, what was going on? She was thinking urgently now.
To know the answer, she couldn't waste a moment! Her heart seemed to burst out of her chest, and even the hands that turned the book were trembling. It took a long time to find the page just now, and then go back.
This day was already seventeen years ago.
"...I can't be depressed anymore. I have to understand that I am not alone now. Although God took away my baby, he gave me Xiaotao again. I really didn't expect that Xiaolin would be like me.
No, she is brave, braver than me. For love, she is willing to become an unwed mother, but the aunt is right, Xiaolin's life cannot be delayed because of this. Although I can't completely agree with the aunt's point of view, I can't see it.
My mother, who was in such pain, knelt in front of me and begged. She said that only if Xiaolin married into the Bai family could the Yang family be preserved. I didn't understand their marriages, but wasn't it the same thing that I had faced myself?
Is that so? The two sisters Xiaolin and I are destined to not get the ideal love. I don’t know whether it is right or wrong to agree to the aunt’s request, but I have done it, and I must be determined to the end. I want Xiaolin’s
The child was raised well, and all the money given by the aunt was used to cultivate Xiaotao. One day, when Xiaolin knows the truth of all this, I will be able to return her child to Zhao with a little dignity. Xiaolin, I'm sorry, you like it
Peach blossom, so let’s call this child Xiaotao. One day in the future, maybe we can meet again. At that time, if you don’t have unnecessary worries and worries, I will tell you the truth and return your child, because I know that a mother
How I felt when I learned that my child died in infancy. At that time, I must tell you that your child is still alive and well, and she will be a kind, generous, and beautiful child like you."
Xiaotao felt a "boom" in her heart, as if something collapsed.
"No, it's impossible, it's impossible!"
Han Xiaotao screamed, threw the diary aside, and held her head with both hands. Her temples kept beating, as if the blood vessels inside were about to burst, making her in unbearable pain. She knew that her mother
The Xiao Lin in his mouth is Mrs. Bai and Yang Lin, and Xiao Tao is herself. But Xiao Tao cannot accept the things described in the diary.
"I'm not... I'm not my godmother's child... I'm not..."
She loves her mother so much and misses her mother so much, but her mother's diary clearly tells her that all these years have been wasted. Her "mother" did give her an education, but...
But it's not the one who gave her life. How is this possible?!
"Grandpa...Grandpa!" Han Xiaotao seemed to remember something and stood up in a hurry, but fell to the ground in panic. She seemed not to feel the pain. There was only one thought in her mind, and that was to find out the truth of the matter!
She got up from the ground, grabbed her notebook, and stumbled into her grandfather's bedroom. "Grandpa! Grandpa!" Maybe grandpa will know something, he must know something!
However, Xiao Tao now discovered that grandpa was not in the house. She seemed to be going crazy, rummaging through every room, calling for grandpa loudly. She was like a lost child, eager to find the way home. But, the way
Where is she? She doesn’t even know who her mother is, so where can she find a home?
"Grandpa? Grandpa?" Seeing that there was no one in the house, Han Xiaotao took out her mobile phone and wanted to make a call, only to find that the mobile phone had no power and automatically shut down. She rushed to the landline again and dialed Tang Xiaoxiao's number.
"Beep——" The phone just rang, and Tang Xiaoxiao's urgent voice rang on the other end.
"Xiao Tao, is it Xiao Tao?"
"Xiaoxiao, where are you? Do you know where grandpa is? He didn't come home. I'm looking for..."
"Come to the hospital quickly! Grandpa has just performed resuscitation, come here quickly!"
The phone in Han Xiaotao's hand slipped with a clang, and her mind went blank. She staggered out of the house, hailed a taxi, and rushed to the hospital.
Grandpa, why is grandpa in the hospital?
She knew that her grandfather had always had a bad heart, but hearing Xiaoxiao's tone, it seemed that it was particularly serious this time. And she was so careless that she only realized it now. No matter how urgent or difficult her affairs were, they were not as important as her grandfather's life! After all these years
, she and her grandfather lived together, and she had long regarded him as her closest person. She could not imagine that one day she would lose her grandfather and live alone in this world.
All this, like a violent storm, came too fast and violently, making Han Xiaotao unable to resist. She felt as if a pot of boiling water was rolling in her head, and the pain was so painful that it was about to explode. She rubbed her temples, anxious
He looked out the window at the scenery passing by, looking at how far it was from the hospital.