The first day she promised me, I called her out and we walked around the school together. At that time, I was very timid and didn’t know anything. The two of us just walked around the school and talked.
Very rarely, in the end it was just holding hands. Many times, I wanted to hug her, kiss her, and even want to go one step further, but I never had the courage, and every time it was just out of reach.
She told me that she actually didn't understand the letter I wrote. Then I was surprised and asked, "If you didn't understand it, why did you agree to it?"
She smiled and said, "That's because I think you are true to me."
Khan, I'm not true to you. Why should I chase you? There's something wrong with me. I thought so at the time, but I said, "Then do you regret it now?"
She laughed again. She always liked to laugh. No matter what time it was, I always saw her smiling: "I feel a little regretful."
How did I know she was joking with me at that time? I hurriedly asked: "What's wrong? Did I do something wrong?"
This time she burst out laughing, looked at me and said, "You are so stupid." I didn't know what she meant at the time, but I also understood that she was just joking. At that moment, I didn't say anything.
I just watched her smiling happily there. At that time, I only had one thought, that is, it was enough to watch her smile like this every day.
After about half a month, Hu Ye and I were still the same, making no progress. We were still talking and chatting every day. One day at noon, a boy suddenly came to our class and said to me: "Your name is Jing Yuxuan."
Bar?"
I looked at him and answered somewhat strangely: "Yes, what's the matter?" I thought he was here to trouble me, so I felt wary for a moment.
He looked at me, and after a long time, he finally said: "I like Hu Ye." His eyes were so sincere. At that time, I felt a little stupid, because I didn't understand anything. A boy suddenly told you that he liked you.
Of course, the girlfriend was just dumbfounded. But Huang Lin was not the same. He jumped out immediately and said, "You? You dare to like Hu Ye? Are you impatient with life?"
He still looked at me, with no fear in his eyes. At that time, I didn’t know whether it was because of the power of love that made him so bold, or because he didn’t know who I was at all, but I still admired him a little.
My courage is at least much better than when I came to No. 2 Middle School. So I said to him: "Then you go after him. If you catch him, it's yours."
It was really funny to think about it at that time. I thought that my relationship with Hu Ye was really deep and could not be changed. I thought that I was good enough to her, and she would never be sorry for me.
, I even fantasized about living a lifetime with her.
At that time, I was really good to Hu Ye. I stayed with her most of the day, and I asked less and less about things in Qingmen. Fortunately, Huang Lin also did a good job and didn't let her go.
I was disappointed. I rarely smoked or even drank. I also started studying seriously. Who knows how much I paid for that pure love? At that time, I didn’t understand why I treated her like this.
, she still chooses to leave me? Maybe I still don’t know that love is not just sincere and can last long.
The first semester of the third year of junior high school was on vacation. During the month at home, I had no contact with her. At that time, I didn’t know how to surf the Internet and didn’t even use the phone. But every day, I thought about her.
When school started, when I saw her, I really wanted to hold her in my arms and tell her everything about this month, my longing and sadness.
But I didn't, I just said some normal words to her. Maybe if I had said what I wanted to say and done what I wanted to do, we might still be together now and never leave.
I didn't realize at the time that she had become a lot indifferent to me. There were really a lot of things to do at that time. In the Second Middle School for a long time, many people who were calm before were no longer calm. There were sophomores and freshmen vying for power.
I joined it again. The No. 2 Middle School at that time was really a mess. From time to time, someone would be beaten and someone would be expelled. At that time, I also had less time to accompany her and love her.
One afternoon, I just came back from a fight. I still had some injuries on my body, but when I thought about Hu Ye’s beautiful face, I didn’t feel the pain anymore. That night, I went to find her. I thought I should say something to her.
I told her that during the past half semester, I had already wanted to do the things I wanted to say and do. But before I could speak, she said: "Xuan,
Let’s break up.”
These words undoubtedly hit my head like a thunderbolt and hit my heart. What kind of pain, what kind of numbness, and what kind of unforgettable feeling was it? I looked at her and asked in disbelief.
He said: "Why? I'm not treating you well?"
But she said to me: "No, you are very good to me. It's me. I don't love you anymore. We have been together for so long, but I don't feel anything at all. I don't want to live like this anymore."
Meaningless days." At that moment, I understood that the time spent with me for so long, which I thought was so beautiful and so happy, was painful and completely meaningless in her eyes.
.
I looked at her without too many emotional fluctuations, because I was afraid that I would burst out and scare her, but I still loved her. Then I asked with a glimmer of hope: "Can you give me a chance? I will definitely do it."
Changed.”
She continued: "You are very good and don't need to change, but I really can't be with you, so you might as well let go. This will be good for you and me."
I stood quietly, thought for a long time, and said, "Okay, I promise you."
She smiled sweetly and said, "Thank you, I hope you will find a better girl than me and live a better life."
I was going crazy at that time. I was really afraid that I would burst out. At that moment, my heart was like a thousand arrows piercing through it, and Yin Hong's blood was dripping drop by drop, with echoes. I could only smile bitterly.
She said: "Then we will still be friends from now on?"
I looked at her and said, "No, go ahead and don't see me again."
She said: "I'm sorry." Then she really left. At that moment, I hoped she would stay, even if it was just for a moment. I looked at her leaving back, still so beautiful, so touching, and I felt silent in my heart.
Thinking: "Are you really that cruel? Is everything that has happened for so long just my wishful thinking? Is the happiness we have experienced together fake?
No, those are all real memories.
At that moment, my heart ached, my eyes were weeping, and my heart was bleeding. For the woman I loved for the first time, for my first love. After she left, I finally couldn't help but shed tears.
, I don’t understand why I have to act so indifferent and strong in front of her, why do I have to pretend?
In fact, at that time, I had grown up unknowingly and had learned how to hide my feelings. Maybe I really loved her and didn't want her to feel guilty for leaving me, and I didn't want her to feel that she owed me all the time.
of.
When I returned to the dormitory, I had calmed down a lot and didn't show anything. Of course, Brother Hong and the others couldn't see anything. I walked to my bed and wanted to smoke a cigarette, but found that I hadn't smoked in a long time.
Then I ordered one from Brother Hong. After lighting it, I wanted to rest, and then I hoped that when I woke up, everything would be just a dream. But I couldn’t fall asleep. At that time, Brother Hong’s cell phone was still playing a song by Zheng Yuan.
"How could you be cruel enough to leave me" Every lonely night is like the end of a movie. Everyone around me has left. I don’t know when tears will come. Every place in love is like a web of memories. How much pain is locked in my chest. Who can see my
Hurt when I let go of your hand, tears left my eyes, I drank the alcohol that I was addicted to, I woke up and finally had to accept that when love is scattered, what is the meaning of eternity and eternity? A lifetime of pain, do you understand if it is enough, how can you cruelly leave me, what is the end of it all?
Why can't you tell whose fault everything is? How can you be cruel and hurt me if you sacrifice for this result? I'm pitiful. I love you so much. I've lost my happiness and become disillusioned. I've made promises. I'll keep the life of two people and live alone. When I let go of your hand, I leave with tears.
After drinking the alcohol behind my eyes, I wake up and finally have to accept what it means when love is gone. I have been in pain for a lifetime. Do you understand if it is enough? How can you cruelly leave me? Why can't you tell whose fault everything is?
How could you be cruel enough to hurt me in exchange for such a result of your efforts? I love you so much. I have lost my happiness and become disillusioned. I have kept my promise to keep the life of two people. How could you be so cruel and leave me when I live alone? Why on earth can’t you tell whose fault everything is?
How could you hurt me so cruelly in exchange for this kind of result? Poor me, I love you so much. I have lost my happiness and become disillusioned. I have kept my promise to live the life of two people alone. When the last line of the lyrics slowly fell, I finally shed tears. I found out
I was so fascinated by that song that I didn’t even know when the cigarette was finished. I wiped the corners of my eyes, stood up, and said to Brother Hong and the others: "I want to drink, who can come with me?"
?”
Brother Hong and the others found it a little strange. After all, I hadn't drank for a long time and suddenly I wanted to drink. They knew something must be wrong with me, so they asked: "Xiaoxuan, what's wrong? Is there anything wrong?"
I didn't say anything at the time, I just smiled and said: "It's nothing, I just haven't drank for a long time and I want to drink some."
They all really went to drink, and they got drunk very quickly. It was just me who got drunk. I didn’t drink a lot, but I got really drunk. Maybe it’s true that “everyone gets drunk even if he’s not drunk.”
"People who are not charming will be fascinated by themselves." After I got drunk, I cried. Thinking of Hu Ye, I cried and cried very sadly. At that time, I also discovered that I was also a lunatic.
Brother Hong looked at me and asked: "Xiaoxuan, are you serious?"
I raised my glass and said with a smile, "It's okay, I'm just falling in love." Then I drank the wine myself, fell to the ground, and cried bitterly.
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