The era at that time emphasized that men were superior to women. What did this mean? I didn’t understand it at the time.
My mother touched my head and said gently: "Shiqin is a boy. He must grow up with dignity!"
"Boys need dignity, but what about girls' dignity?"
My mother grinned. When she grew up, she realized that it was not a smile at all, but a silent cry: "What's the use of a woman's dignity? Even if she has it, she will be trampled by men!"
Because my mother did not have a family, she was often bullied by her mother-in-law and cousin-in-law at home. She had to do all the housework by herself. She also had to learn to cook three meals. She even did not hire a nanny and let my mother clean the toilet. In the past, Mu Zhize
I would even say a few words of comfort, but later there was no more comfort.
Years of living as a servant had destroyed my mother's beauty and youth, and my father gradually lost interest.
I would either beat or scold her every day, saying that my mother's food was not good, and that my mother's hands were ugly, even washing her feet was ugly, and she was not as good as the sauna lady.
My mother has been patient, but in my opinion, that is simply cowardice.
She never dared to cry in front of others, she could only hold me and cry secretly.
When she cries, her eyes are very good, and they are so red that it's scary.
She kept holding me and said, "Shiqin, no, you can't be like them!"
"Mom, you only have one child, don't abandon mom!"
"Why are your eyes so sinful too? Such sinful blue!"
"No, you can't abandon mom!"
I didn't know it at the time, but my father was becoming obsessed with men.
I was less than eight years old that year.
What was supposed to be a happy childhood turned hollow and damp with only my mother's crying left.
I often look at the mirror hanging on the wall in a small place.
There is a pair of blue eyes in the mirror.
The same blue as Mu Zhize, as deep as the sea.
I know mom doesn't like it!
She attributed everything she had to temptation.
She began to regret why she had been unable to resist the temptation of Mu Zhize's eyes and entered this hellish family.
She began to resent my eyes, and I even felt that when she looked at me, she wanted to dig them out and smash them.
Infected by my mother, I also began to dislike my own eyes. I began to hate anything blue.
One day, I looked at the blue sky and was surprised to find that the sky was blue and the pond was also blue.
I began to be afraid. Will everything I see turn blue?
As I thought about it, what I was most afraid of was dyeing my mother an annoying blue color.
In winter, the Mu family finally found out that Mu Zhize was playing with men outside!
The Mu family was very angry and kicked my father out of the house. Of course, my mother and little me were also affected.
My family actually loved me very much at first, but because my personality was too gloomy, another half-immortal said that I was haunted by ghosts.
After saying it was difficult to drive away, he gave up on me!
After being kicked out of that home, I felt very relaxed.
My mother probably thought so too, because her smile was so beautiful that day!
Free air, free breathing, no pressure or coercion, the whole mood is very good!
Even if we have nothing.
But his father didn’t think so. He believed that all the faults were his mother’s. It was because he failed to hide his secret of playing with men from his family, which resulted in him having nothing!