Chapter 263: It's Impossible To Go Back To The Past
Chen Feng never dreamed that Shen Lin would come here, so he was stunned for a while before he realized what he was doing and withdrew his hand.
At this time, he really felt all kinds of emotions in his heart.
Although Shen Lin was relatively proactive back then, the most she did was take the initiative to invite and contact him, but she was not as direct and direct as she is now.
The two of them have been separated for more than half a year, and I feel that she has really changed a lot.
In fact, of course Chen Feng has changed even more than she has.
This is in line with the saying - things are different and people are not the same.
Now if we want to reunite, how is it possible?
"Shen Lin, you should know in your heart that I am no longer who I was before, and you are not who you were before. We can't go back to the past. Moreover, I just reached an agreement with your family last night. We have settled everything. If you feel that one million is not enough, I can add some more to you."
Chen Feng's words were a bit deliberately irritating.
However, Shen Lin was not angry. Instead, she just closed her eyes slightly, sighed and said: "I never wanted to collect your money from the beginning. Not to mention the youth loss fee. You should know that back then, I So I didn’t choose you because you were rich. When I fell in love with you, it was mainly because I fell in love with you. It was as simple as that. Even though you had no money, no house, and an average job at the time.
Sometimes I find it unbelievable when I think about it. I ask myself how I fell in love with you because I was in good condition. But this is fate. I don’t regret my choice. I only regret that I agreed to divorce you so easily. Yes. I single-handedly ruined my own happiness. But you are also the executioner, single-handedly cutting off our marriage."
If Shen Lin had spoken harshly, or even cried and made a fuss, things would have been easier to handle. At most, Chen Feng could just leave and try not to see her from now on. She didn't know where he lived now anyway.
But now that she said these words so calmly, he couldn't help but think of the loving and happy days between the two of them, and of her insistence on marrying him despite her parents' objections. No matter how hard-hearted Chen Feng was, he couldn't just walk away. .
Chen Feng could only stand by the bed depressedly, not knowing what to say for a while.
"I know you still have feelings for me, otherwise you wouldn't have rushed to save me this time. Don't deny this. We have been together for five or six years, even if the relationship was not very good in the last few months. Harmony, but it cannot erase the happiness and warmth of the previous life.
And we actually don’t have any irreconcilable conflicts or mistakes with each other. We didn’t do anything sorry for each other before our divorce, and the foundation of our relationship is still there. It was only because of the Cold War, lack of communication, and our mutual self-esteem. Eventually it came to the stage of divorce.
Now that we have been separated for such a long time, we should have realized the problem. The main reason why I was angry and disappointed with you back then is also clear to you. It was because you were not going well at work and had been depressed and self-destructive. If you had been If you can cheer up and face difficulties positively, just like you now, how could I be angry and disappointed with you?
I was also wrong. I should have given you more comfort and encouragement at that time, but I didn't do it. Instead, I kept blaming you, making you worse. I must have made you disappointed and angry. The result was such a long cold war. , finally came to the end of the marriage. Both of us are responsible."
Shen Lin's analysis is very accurate. In a failed marriage, both parties are basically responsible. It cannot be solely the responsibility of one party. The only difference is that the proportion of their respective responsibilities is different.
Chen Feng also sighed and said: "You are right. Although you were also wrong at the time, the more fault was mine. It was because I was not going well at work and could not withstand the blow of failure, which directly affected my life. They don't care enough about you emotionally, which leads to your complaints.
At that time, I really needed your comfort and encouragement the most, but you kept complaining about me, saying that I had no ability, that mud could not hold up the wall, etc. Naturally, it made me feel very hurt, and my feelings for each other also developed. I became suspicious, and then started a cold war against you."
Shen Lin quickly said: "I know I was excessive and cruel to you at that time. But my original intention was not to hurt you, but to stimulate you and encourage you to get back on your feet. It was because I hate iron but not steel. It was not to hit you. "
Chen Feng smiled slightly bitterly and said: "You did stimulate me and hit me at that time, but you just didn't encourage me."
"I don't know why I did that at the time, I..."
Shen Lin still wanted to explain, but was interrupted by Chen Feng waving his hand: "Okay. This topic has been explained very clearly now. It has been more than half a year since our divorce. Even though I had feelings for you before. The resentment is gone now. Therefore, it is meaningless to talk about this now. We can't go back."
Shen Lin blinked her eyes when she heard this, with tears glistening in her eyes. Her voice was slightly choked and she said, "Are you really so heartless? Are you really not going to give me a chance? Do you really not want to save the relationship we have had for so many years?" We were originally a happy couple, and we can always be a happy couple."
Chen Feng turned his head slightly to avoid her gaze, sighed and said: "Some things can't be made up for if they are missed. Moreover, I am no longer the same person as before. Even if we start over, we can't go back." That’s the kind of situation it used to be.”
"Why?" Shen Lin asked in a more serious tone, "Is it because you are rich now?"
"There must be a reason for this." Chen Feng said honestly, "It's a law that men become bad when they have money. Now that I have money, I have also turned bad. I now have intimate relationships with several women. .Coupled with our failed marriage, I no longer believe in love, let alone marriage.
Therefore, for a long time, it was impossible for me to get married again. Now even if I get on well with you again, it is impossible for me to remarry you, or even to break off relationships with other women. Can you accept these two points? Got it?"
Shen Lin looked at him steadily and didn't speak for a long time.
Chen Feng took the initiative to step forward this time, squatted down in front of the bed, looked at her level, showed a smile and said: "Shen Lin, I loved you before, but the innocent and stubborn Shen Lin before, you will always be with me at that time. It occupies a very important position in my heart and is the most precious memory in my life. But now we have all changed. In my heart, the former Shen Lin has died, and the former Chen Feng has also died. We are no longer who we were before. , we can never go back to the past.
I now sincerely wish you can find a man who can satisfy you and make you happy for the rest of your life. We can be friends in the future. If you have any difficulties, you can contact me. But we can't go any further. Let's mutually Keep that beautiful memory in your heart."
After saying these words, Chen Feng stood up, turned around and said, "I'm leaving. From now on, everyone should take care of themselves."
After saying this, Chen Feng strode to the door without looking back, then opened the door of the ward and walked out.
The tears that had been welling up in Shen Lin's eyes finally fell down.
She didn't expect that her seemingly sure-fire victory would end in failure. For this reason, she did not hesitate to risk her own health and actually took five sleeping pills.
But it ended up like this. Chen Feng had no sympathy or pity for her, only the alienation and indifference revealed in his bones.
He may still care about her a little bit, but it is no longer the kind of care that a relative or a lover has, but at best, the kind of care that exists between ordinary friends.
Does he really have no feelings for me at all?
Shen Lin didn't believe it. She clasped her hands and let tears fall from her eyes.
Chen Feng quickly walked out of the inpatient building, stretched out his hands and rubbed his face vigorously twice, which made him feel more relaxed.
Facing his ex-wife who was full of rage, Chen Feng couldn't really be as calm as he had shown before.
After all, he had lived with her for five or six years and truly loved each other. Listening to the words she said while lying on the hospital bed, it was even more impossible for him to be indifferent. When she talked about the emotional place, didn't he feel a little bit in his heart? Touched?
There was even a moment when Chen Feng impulsively wanted to start over with her, or even remarry, but in the end it was just a momentary impulse. As he said, they had all changed, especially him, who was no longer the same person as before. Chen Feng.
It can be said that he has died once, not to mention being reborn, but his personality has changed a lot from the one he used to work in, not to mention his life and mentality.
They were happy and sweet when they were together, but they were also miserable in the end.
He now has a completely different life than before, and he doesn't want to go back to the past.
Chen Feng took a deep breath and quickened his pace to leave the hospital, which was filled with the smell of disinfectant.
He did not go back to Villa No. 8 immediately, but drove to East Lake Villa along the way.
This villa that he was very satisfied with at the beginning has become unoccupied since he bought it.
I opened the gate and went in. There were already a lot of weeds growing in the yard. I walked through the yard and came to the front of the villa. I opened the door with the key. There was a faint musty smell inside. After looking at it, I saw that there was also a faint musty smell inside.
of dust.
This house can't survive without people living in it and maintenance. Even though it looks like a fairly new villa.
But Chen Feng didn't want to rent it out. He bought it at a high price and rented it out to others, which always felt weird. Anyway, he wasn't short of money. He bought this house just because he liked it, not as an investment.
Chen Feng planned to stay here for a while. So, he called the real estate company here and asked them to call two cleaning staff.
After waiting for more than ten minutes, two cleaning ladies came over. After Chen Feng explained to them, he went for a walk on the shore of East Lake alone.
Since I moved into Hongshu Bay, I rarely come to the shore of East Lake.
The weather is now at noon, the sun is shining, and I can take a walk while looking at the scenery. The temperature is just right, neither too cold nor too hot.
There are also many pedestrians and tourists on the embankment, either in pairs or in groups. Everyone looks very relaxed and comfortable.
After Chen Feng walked for a while, he sat down on a bench facing the lake. He looked at the sparkling East Lake in a daze, and his thoughts unconsciously drifted to the scenes he had passed with Shen Lin.
After all, they had lived together for five or six years, and the happy and sweet time accounted for at least two-thirds of it. Moreover, the reason why he divorced in the first place was only one aspect of their weakening relationship. The more important reason was that he discovered that he had a terminal illness.
.
If he hadn't been terminally ill, he definitely wouldn't have been able to make up his mind to divorce her at that time.
Therefore, what Shen Lin said before was not completely wrong. There was still some residual feelings between the two of them.
But now Chen Feng really doesn’t want to be the same person he used to be. Now that he has money, a woman, and a cool life, why does he want to remarry?
He could only keep convincing himself in his heart and strengthen his confidence.
He was very worried that if he couldn't hold on, Shen Lin would really drag him back to his original life trajectory that seemed happy and sweet, but was often depressed and depressing.
It's just that he has to draw a clear line with Shen Lin, a woman who has fallen in love with each other, and even has no contact with him until the end of his life. It is inevitable that his heart will have ups and downs and it is difficult to calm down.
He sat in silence for more than ten minutes, until a young couple sat down next to him and hugged each other, bringing him back to his thoughts.
"Here, take a bite."
The woman held a stick of ice cream in her hand and handed it to the man's mouth with a sticky sound.
The man chuckled, opened his mouth and took a big bite.
"You hate it! I hate it so much! Such a big mouth."
"I was wrong, I was wrong, then I will give it back to you."
When a man holds a woman, he has to go mouth to mouth...
Grass!
Chen Feng stood up suddenly, startling the young couple.
Chen Feng didn't even look at them and left directly.
"This man is sick!" the man whispered.
"Don't talk nonsense. He may be out of love."
"Why have you lost love at such an old age? It should be divorce."
…
Chen Feng's hearing was very good now. Although their voices were low, he heard them all. Of course, he didn't beat the young man for it.
He could only wish them with the mentality of a person who has been through it: Good morning and good morning.
After wandering aimlessly along the lake for a while, I checked the time and figured it was almost time, so I returned to the lakeside villa.
Sure enough, the two cleaning ladies moved very quickly and almost finished cleaning up.
Chen Feng sat on the stone bench in the yard and waited, while also replying to a few messages that he had ignored before.
Among them, one was sent by his mother, asking how he was doing during his time in Xiuzhou? What was he busy with? If there was nothing to do in Xiuzhou, he would go home and live for a while. It would be best to ask Wu Mengting as well.
bring.
Of course Chen Feng didn't want to go back to his hometown. After thinking about it, he sent a voice message saying that he and a few friends were currently preparing a company and couldn't do without it.
Mom’s voice prompts: [What company]
So, Chen Feng said it was a film and television company, a small company with a total investment of less than one million. He only invested a few hundred thousand, and there were several other shareholders.
Of course Zhao Xiaolan didn't understand this, but just told him not to be deceived.
After the mother and son communicated by voice for a while, Chen Feng ended the call with the excuse that he had to go out for a drive.
Checking other unread messages, one of them was from Guo Mengyao, saying that she would fly to Xiuzhou at noon tomorrow and hoped that he would pick her up.
After Chen Feng hesitated for a moment, he sent her an OK gesture.