That year, maybe the sky was merciful. The night my mother died, the snow fell and everything froze.
The mother's body stiffened, her hands stretched toward the east, her eyes slightly opened, and she didn't close her eyes. That man, her god, her everything, her master was in that direction, and the palace gate was towering.
The poisonous wine on the ground had turned into ice, and the broken wine glass lay still, motionless like my mother.
I haven't eaten for three days and three nights. It's not that I can't eat but I don't dare to eat at all. I'm afraid, afraid that like my mother, I'll be poisoned to death.
And her mother's death was somewhat of a suicide for love. For that man, she had sacrificed her whole life and lost everything and even her life.
My mother’s maiden name was Cai Lian, a beautiful and quiet woman from the south of the Yangtze River. That man, my father said, the first time he saw her, she was wandering in the sea of flowers, picking lotus and laughing, and when she looked back she smiled as if she was startled.
So, despite the fact that her mother had already made an appointment with a matchmaker, she raped her.
Later, there was me, a prince who looked very much like my mother, with dark eyes, and was dismissed as a "bastard" by my half-brothers.
Cheer, my mother called me this.
Cheer, earnest heart.
I am different, I don’t have brown eyes, they don’t have strong bones, I don’t have slightly curly hair...
There is no place for us in this huge palace. Everywhere we go, we are scolded and disdained from behind.
We are in dire straits.
Finally, the queen could not tolerate aliens like us and decided to kill us while my father was on an expedition.
I was already extremely hungry, I couldn't help it, I started retching, and I had hallucinations in front of my eyes. My mother's body seemed to be moving. She took my hand and called out loudly, "Che'er, mother, take you back to Jiangnan. Listen to the hand holding my hand."
The red-toned boat girl was telling stories, watching the lotus-picking girl laugh and laugh, and there was the most lovely and special girl smiling and looking forward to it.
I nodded and stretched out my hand. Finally, it was my father who held my hand.
My father fed me porridge with his own hands, and rubbed my forehead with his calloused hands again and again. Cheer, in fact, not loving does not mean not loving. If you love too deeply, you can only not love, and you can only let go...
...Love, many times, is a kind of hurt.
When I was seven years old, I went to Zhoujin.
It was a country based on respect for Buddha and my mother’s hometown.
I sprinkled my mother's ashes into the Jinjiang River, and the surging water made me weep and sing.
Many times, I like to quietly carve, depict gods, and think silently in their stories. My name is Qi Nan, a kind-hearted young monk, no prince, no so-called spies...
I carved the map of the royal palace on the base of the Buddha statue, memorized it silently, carved it with knife and axe, and enjoyed the clanking sound of the knife hitting the hard stone.
Until one day, a sound of nature stirred my peaceful heart.
The body is like a bodhi tree, and the mind is like a mirror stand. Always brush it diligently to avoid dust.
Bodhi has no tree, and the mirror is not a stand. There is nothing in the first place, so where can it cause dust...
Her name is Wang Shuhe.
Lotus, lotus leaf...what a fitting opportunity.
She is unusual, like a mystery that has spanned thousands of years. She is very beautiful. That beauty is not only a beautiful face, but also an enchanting heart like a lotus...
I was tempted, I smiled at her, talked about carving, making calligraphy plates, chatting with her...
Listen to her tell distant stories, describe the gorgeous and longing for the city... and her other world...
Under the sunset, her beauty looked even more refined and thrilling... With a faint smile, I quietly depicted those gods, those Buddhas, and those carefree worlds.
Maybe she will never know about the sunset wooden pagoda, but I regard it as a holy land, our peach blossom garden...
After a long time, she asked me, Master, what is your lay name?
Name? Haha, a common name? I shook my head, with a hint of desolation on my face. I thought for a long time and said, I forgot...
Yes, I forgot, I forgot what kind of prince I was, I forgot that I was basically a spy, I forgot that I came with my father's expectations, I forgot about the tragic death of my mother... I also forgot about my attraction to you, I forgot.
With your smile, your anger, your stupidity...and your tears...
Wang Shuhe, Liu Zipei...that compassionate figure, a heart-warming soul...
That night, Huangfu Zhi was very silent. He looked at me and I was speechless.
He asked me why, and I smiled and answered, "A lot of times, you can't help yourself. Why aren't you the same? The world is impermanent... Be kind to her and let her go. That silly woman is not suitable to be in the palace."
Do you care about her? Huangfu's eyes were cold, his black eyes were flickering, and he had obvious murderous intent.
I laughed so hysterically that I put the wine to my lips, raised my head, and drank it all!
During the attack of dove poison, my internal organs seemed to be torn apart by life, and blood kept flowing out from the seven holes. I endured the pain, and I smiled. She said, my smile is very clean and comfortable...
Suddenly, a figure came up before darkness fell. I stared at that lonely dark corner with a smile, and everything stopped... Just like that, Zipei, I could only leave silently.
ps: I have always wanted to write, but I have been making excuses for my laziness. I have been very unsatisfied in recent years. I am eager to write, and I want to work hard to forget some hurts... Also, I miss my friends who are reading the article,
Thank you for your support...Mother Xu must work hard to write good articles and keep writing.