People are never alone in the same way, so loneliness now will never be the same as loneliness then. - Bosco
Obviously she was happy with Xiaoqing just now, but when she came back, Ruochu's little face was not happy. Qin Nan knew in her heart that it was because she didn't see Qin Bei today. She was used to him appearing in front of her every day.
, I haven’t seen him all day today, not to mention Ruochu, even Qin Nan feels empty in his heart.
When he told Ruochu a bedtime story with Andersen's fairy tales, the little guy also looked uninterested and muttered something like "Dad never reads from the book when telling stories", which made Qin Nan somewhat discouraged.
Fortunately, because he walked a lot today, Ruochu fell asleep quickly, and Qin Nan also breathed a sigh of relief.
Today, she and Xiaoqing untied the knot in her heart, which finally brought a ray of sunshine into her mood that had been gloomy for many years. Not only because Xiaoqing forgave her, but more importantly, she learned an important piece of information today, that is, Qin
Bei didn't have a child yet, which made her somewhat surprised, but also joyful, although she felt in her heart that this joy should be condemned.
Doesn't that mean that Ruochu is Qin Bei's only flesh and blood, no wonder he cares about her so much. From this point of view, Qin Bei has devoted all his father's love to Ruochu, so even if she is an illegitimate daughter, father's love is still there.
Not a single cent will be taken away from him, at least Qin Nan has nothing else to ask for.
I was in a good mood, so I took a comfortable bath with roses. I blew my hair half dry and draped it over my shoulders. I put on a large bathrobe. I saw that it was still early, I didn't feel sleepy, and I couldn't do anything else.
things.
After thinking about it, I poured myself a glass of red wine, then sat back on the window sill before going out in the afternoon, turned off all the lights, and stared at the night view and the few stars outside the window in a daze.
I can't remember how long it has been since I sat down quietly like today, thinking about nothing, just being alone like this. Before, she was almost breathless because of her studies and for Ruochu.
She spent countless nights either desperately reading some theoretical books or researching information to write a thesis. Jensen said that she was the Chinese who got a doctorate in the shortest time among all the students he had taught. The time she initially set for herself was five years.
Years, many people thought she was whimsical, but it only took her four years.
Only she knows what kind of life she has spent in the past four years. She keeps putting pressure on herself, just to make herself busier and busier so that she can forget or ignore some things, so some people's memories are temporarily sealed and are
Buried in a corner deep in his heart, just waiting to be awakened by some chance at a certain moment. Now some images are coming like fragments, colliding with Qin Nan's mood and mind, and with the sourness of red wine, the night
It's dyed with mixed flavors.
I remember that when he was in Qin's house, Qin Nan liked to lean on the window sill and look at the stars and the moon, watching the stars and the moon linger.
He found that there was always a star beside the moon, but he deliberately kept a distance and looked at it from afar. Qin Nan had thought countless times that they must be in love, otherwise how could they keep watching for such a long time? However,
The longer you watch, the more worrying you become. Thinking about yourself and Qin Bei, it's not like this.
Once upon a time, she was willing to be the little star beside him. She never thought about overshadowing his brilliance. She only wanted to keep looking at him in one direction for a long time and use his brilliance to light up her heart. If she
I didn't expect more at the beginning, maybe I was just content to be a little star. Wouldn't things have developed to this point?
In the past, whenever I had insomnia, I would sit on the window sill and watch the stars. Now, it’s the same starry sky, the same night, the same person, but my mood is different. I used to always feel lonely, with no sense of belonging, and no concept of home.
Only now do I realize how warm it was when I was in Qin's house. I have long considered it my home. My heart tightened for no reason, remembering what Xiaoqing said to her in the evening.
After returning to China, the first thing she did was sneak outside Qin's house and stay there for a whole day. In the end, she was lucky and she finally saw Yuan Jingshu and Qin Benru from a distance. At that moment, she almost shed tears.
Yuan Jingshu still looks the same, maybe because she takes good care of herself, or because Qin Nan is too far away to see clearly. Qin Benru's back is slightly hunched than before, and her white hair seems more glaring. The two of them were holding hands after dinner.
He started walking on the lawn in the courtyard and seemed to be in good spirits, which made Qin Nan feel a little relieved.
She resisted the urge to step forward to acknowledge them and apologize. At that moment, she really wanted to let them do whatever they wanted. They could beat her, scold her, whatever they wanted to do to her, as long as she could call them dad and mom.
As long as they could allow her to say the words "I'm sorry" that had been in her heart for six years and made her feel like a thorn in her back every moment, then she might feel at ease.
But can she be so selfish? She is no longer alone. She also has Ruochu, who ran away from home quietly and finally brought back an illegitimate daughter. She cannot gamble with the health of their two elders in exchange for herself.
She felt at ease, especially since the two of them seemed very calm and happy now, and she couldn't bear to ruin everything...
It turned out that in addition to Qin Bei and Zheng Fang, Xiaoqing also knew that she had returned to China. Qin Nan was very grateful that she did not tell her family about this, otherwise she would not be so calm now. It must have been Xiaochuan's explanation to her.
Xiaochuan always puts himself in her shoes. He respects all her decisions. This is also to leave the initiative to Qin Nan himself, so that she can freely choose her future life. A good confidant, but...
No fate.
At night, when it was a little quiet, I habitually put my hand on my neck, but there was nothing. Then I remembered that I had picked off the half apple when I took a shower. I got up and went to the bathroom to find the apple and put it on again. After thinking about it,
Putting on the headphones and turning on the button, Qin Bei's voice suddenly penetrated through the eardrum into the silent night and into her throbbing heart.
I have been listening to the songs in it for six years, and I have lost count of how many times I have listened to them. I listen to them when I am happy, and I listen to them when I am sad. They bring comfort when I am lonely, and they bring strength when I am desperate...
...She has never thought about changing the songs in it. I am afraid that Qin Nan is the only one in the world who treats a mobile storage device as a collector's edition CD.
During the transition between the two songs, I suddenly heard a faint knock on the door. I thought it was an illusion and turned off the volume. The knock on the door was clear and persistent.
Qin Nan frowned and glanced at the clock hanging on the wall. Who else would come at this time?
It was Qin Bei. When Qin Nan saw it in the door mirror, he really couldn't describe his feelings at that time. Surprise, joy, hesitation... What surprised him was that he thought he deliberately ignored Ruochu because he was angry with himself. Now it seems that it shouldn't be the case.
Excuse; I was happy that he came to my door when I was missing him; but I was hesitant because he was already a husband.
However, this hesitation only lasted a few seconds. A strong force pushed Qin Nan to quickly open the door. After opening the door, he was still panting slightly because of his racing heart...
Qin Bei looked tired and tired. Although he had basically handed over Qin's affairs to Qiao Qian, today's client was one Qin Benru told Qin Bei to meet. Who asked him to name himself as chairman now?
One night, I was absent-minded, and after finally getting to the end, the car was driven here involuntarily. I didn't see the mother and daughter all day long, and I felt really empty.
Qin Nan in front of her just looked at her blankly. Her hair was half wet and draped casually on her shoulders. It was a little messy but sexy. Although the snow-white bathrobe wrapped her whole body tightly, only a smooth neck was left. Outside, the spring scenery under the bathrobe made people imagine, but Qin Bei's eyes finally stayed on the headphones Qin Nan was wearing, his eyes brightened slightly, and the fatigue on his face seemed to be swept away.
"Well, I'm learning French..." Qin Nan saw Qin Bei notice his earphones and hurriedly took them off, guiltily making up an excuse not to let him know that she was listening to the song he sang just now.
"Really?" Qin Bei asked lightly, something intriguing flashed across his eyes, and then he lowered his eyes, slightly twitching the corners of his mouth, but his voice contained a hoarse softness, with a bit of charm. .
"Yes, it's so late, you..." Not wanting to dwell on this issue, lest he would hold on to it, Qin Nan changed the subject.
"Oh, I just came to see my daughter, and then I left..." After saying that, he stepped into the door. Qin Nan quickly turned sideways and couldn't dodge. He still rubbed his body slightly, and both of them pretended not to care.
Qin Bei walked lightly and slowly entered Ruochu's room. Qin Nan did not follow behind him. Instead, he subconsciously adjusted his bathrobe and covered the collar more tightly. After a while, Qin Bei Walked out of Ruochu's room.
"It's so late. Since you're busy, you don't have to..." He walked up to him and stopped a few steps in front of him. It was actually a greeting, but in his heart he really didn't want him to come. Qin Nan really couldn't tell at this time. clear.
"How was the meal today? What did the teacher say?" Qin Bei went straight to the point, put his hands into the pockets of his trousers, and his eyes fell on a vase on the small coffee table in the living room. He knew that Qin Nan understood what he was referring to.
"The teacher didn't tell me in detail. It should be okay..." Qin Nan felt a little guilty. Ruochu's teacher had been praising Qin Bei today and didn't say anything about Ruochu at all. Besides, Ruochu had dinner He ate a lot and didn't have any adverse symptoms after the meal. It's just that Qin Bei was a little nervous.
"What do you mean should?" Qin Bei's head suddenly turned to Qin Nan, his eyes locked on hers, his two thick eyebrows knitted together, and his tone emphasized the word "should". It's no wonder that Qin Nan, a mother, does it. A bit sloppy.
"Today, I met Sister Xiaoqing." After swallowing his saliva, Qin Nan said suddenly. He didn't want to get entangled with him anymore about Ruochu's issue, so he had to change the topic. Obviously, this change was very successful.
"Oh?" Qin Nan was obviously stunned and responded quickly, "She should have known that you were back a long time ago and didn't make things difficult for you, right?" The seemingly casual inquiry was actually concern that could not be concealed.
"No, she just told me some things about her family and you." Qin Nan said while carefully observing Qin Bei's face.
"Then the necklace around Ruoruo's neck..." Qin Beifang finally paid attention. He had an intuition that Qin Nan would not buy such a thing for his child. It seemed that Xiaoqing should have given it to him.
"It's from Sister Xiaoqing. It's from her heart..."
"Well, did she say anything else? In fact, you have also seen my situation..."
"I didn't say anything..." Qin Nan hid the fact that Qin Bei didn't have children because she had an intuition that Qin Bei didn't want her to know about it.
Qin Bei nodded and said nothing for a while.
"Mom, dad, are... okay?" Qin Nan finally asked with difficulty, turning slightly to the side, not wanting Qin Bei to see the expression on her face at this moment.
"Well, you can rest assured that I will take care of them." Qin Bei's tone also softened, presumably because he was infected by Qin Nan's emotions.
"I'm sorry for them..." Qin Nan's voice became lower and lower.
"..." Qin Bei didn't know how to comfort her for a moment, so he rubbed his eyebrows with his hands.
"It's getting late. I'll leave first. You should have a rest early." Seeing that Qin Nan didn't speak, Qin Bei didn't want her to misunderstand what his intentions were for coming so late, so he took the initiative to leave.
This made Qin Nan secretly sigh with relief and a little surprised at the same time. He always left without saying goodbye. It was rare to say goodbye to him today. He turned around and smiled at him, "I'll see you off."
"No, by the way, I will bring someone over tomorrow night. You can prepare dinner." Qin Bei suddenly remembered the purpose of his trip. In fact, he could just call her to tell her, but he couldn't help but want to come up and see her. As for if
First, fall second.
Qin Nan was stunned for a moment, but immediately nodded and agreed. Qin Bei waved and walked out, and Qin Nan walked to the door. When he came back, he stood in front of the window sill and watched Qin Bei's car leave.
Why did his friend bring him here instead of home? Did he really regard this place as a small mansion, or was he afraid that others would not know that he had an illegitimate daughter? The more he thought about it, the less he understood the point.
Qin Bei is not a showy person, and he is very methodical in everything he does, and he never messes around.
With his current social status, he should not disregard his reputation, but after all, Qin Bei is not a person who bows to the world. The person he can bring here should be related to him, or at least
I know him, who could he be?
Qin Nan couldn't help but start to review the people she and Qin Bei knew together, but after thinking about it, it was impossible, but she felt tired lazily. I was really tired after walking so much today. Let's go
I went to the bathroom and dried my hair. I didn't think about anything else. I left everything until tomorrow. Tomorrow is another new day.